VDN Ch 85

Nam-woon’s entire body throbbed with pain after colliding with the asphalt. The pain in his shoulders and back, where he had taken direct hits, was especially intense. Meanwhile, the van carrying Kwon Sang-moon was getting farther and farther away. As Nam-woon stood up and limped to follow the car, a hand grabbed his back from behind. It was Kwon Seo-oh.

“Where are you going in that state?!”

Seo-oh pressed Nam-woon to the ground with a rough hand and frantically chased after the van’s rear. From behind, Nam-woon tried to zoom in on the van’s license plate using the camera, but the plate had been turned.  Seo-oh, panting, stopped in the middle of the road and stared blankly in the direction the car had disappeared, with disbelieving eyes. Seo-oh stared silently at the road for a long time.

“…….”

Seo-oh remained silent, gazing at the road for a long time, until the errand center staff came looking for them.”

***

“There’s nothing wrong with your bones, but the bruises are quite severe, so please be careful with movement for a while. I’ll treat the affected area and prescribe some medicine.”

The Umpyeong staff, who arrived late at the parking lot, were startled by the sudden turn of events, their eyes wide with surprise. Seo-oh, who belatedly came to his senses, ignored their questions about what had happened and strongly urged Nam-woon to go to the hospital. Then, he dragged Nam-woon, who insisted he was fine, straight to the emergency room. Fortunately, Nam-woon’s condition was not serious.

After receiving simple treatment for bruises and stepping out of the hospital, Nam-woon looked at Seo-oh and opened his mouth.

“Seo-oh, um…”

Before he could finish his sentence, Seo-oh suddenly hugged him. “Ah!” Nam-woon groaned at the sudden contact, and Seo-oh quickly pulled away in panic.

“Are you okay?”

Nam-woon nodded. Seo-oh carefully observed his expression and then became angry.

“How could you act so recklessly! What if you had gotten hurt worse! Do you think I’d feel good if you got hit like that instead of me?”

“I thought you looked like you were in danger…”

“I’ll take care of my own body. So don’t ever try to save me like that again. Don’t jump in front of a car like you did earlier. Do you think those people would care if you got hurt? There could have been an accident!”

“But there wasn’t, so it’s fine.”

Nam-woon added, looking at Seo-oh’s angry face. He thought Kwon Seo-oh would lose his mind because Kwon Sang-moon had been kidnapped again. He thought he needed to take care of Seo-oh, but it was actually the other way around.

Even though his mind was in turmoil, Seo-oh didn’t leave right away. He took his time, checking every part of Nam-woon’s body—how he felt here, how he felt there—only then did they finally head home

“Sorry for coming so late at night.”

“Oh my, why so late… did something happen?”

Auntie Soon-i looked at Seo-oh and Nam-woon’s faces alternately and asked. “No,” Seo-oh replied briefly, then picked up Se-han’s small body, who was sleeping in the room. Se-han made a “hmm…” sound and clung to his brother’s body like a koala. Seo-oh, holding Se-han in his arms, bid the auntie farewell and went outside. And quietly walked home. There was no conversation exchanged until they reached home.

After carefully laying Se-han down on the bedding, Seo-oh continued to quietly and tirelessly attend to Nam-woon. Even though Nam-woon said he was fine multiple times, having received all the treatment at the hospital, whenever Nam-woon moved, Seo-oh would get up first and promptly bring him whatever he needed. Nam-woon couldn’t make a loud sound because Se-han was sleeping, and he had no choice but to accept Seo-oh’s words.

When Nam-woon lay down next to Se-han at his urging, Seo-oh, sitting beside him, quietly said,

“Get some rest.”

“What about you?”

As Nam-wooon stared wide-eyed at Seo-oh, a large palm gently rested on his eyelids. Seo-oh usually had a lot of heat and a high body temperature, but for some reason, his hand was cold today. Nam-woon blinked, his eyelashes gently brushing Seo-oh’s palm.

“I’ll stay like this until you fall asleep, Hyung. Just close your eyes.”

He decided he would just pretend to sleep. Seo-oh must be having a harder time today, so he had to watch over him. Feeling a dull ache in his shoulder, Nam-woon slowly closed his eyes.

How long had he been lying there?

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but he must not have been able to resist the overwhelming drowsiness and dozed off. Fortunately, not much time seemed to have passed, as the room was still dim.

When he turned his head, he noticed Se-han’s small body lying on the futon with his belly exposed. Nam-woon gently pulled down Se-han’s shirt, tucked him into the blanket as he always did, and looked around. Seo-oh was nowhere to be seen.

Nam-woon stood up carefully and opened the door. As he slowly scanned the yard and walked toward the wooden table, he noticed a dark silhouette appearing at the edge of his vision. Seo-oh sat on the edge of the low table with his head bowed. Nam-woon watched him quietly, then slowly approached and sat beside him.

Even though Seo-oh must have sensed him sitting down, he remained motionless. Nam-woon gently placed his hand on his shoulder and hesitantly spoke.

“We’ll find your Dad again soon. I’ll help.”

With those words, silence fell over the yard. After a moment, Seo-oh spoke up.

“It’s my fault.”

“…….”

“Because of me, you got hurt, and I lost Dad too.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s always like that. Se-han always cries because of me, and on the day Dad went missing.”

Seo-oh slightly raised his head. His expressionless side profile looked pitiful.

“I was actually relieved.“

Nam-woon stared at Seo-oh at that.

“It seemed like it was too hard for him to raise Se-han and me by himself. That’s why I tried to act like a grownup in front of Dad. I tried to act like he didn’t need to take care of someone like me so that he wouldn’t have to worry about me.”

His voice continued, almost like a confession.

“In middle school, I really hated you, Hyung, but I always tried not to talk back and not to burden Dad. I worried that Dad would have a hard time so I never even went on school trips or picnics, and even on days when I manifested and was sick, I went to my part-time job. But one day, I had a big fight with Dad. That day, Dad cried, saying it was too difficult to raise Se-han and me alone. It was the first time I’d ever seen Dad cry like that. But the next day, Dad didn’t come home.”

“…….”

“At first, I thought there had been an accident nearby, so I visited all the hospitals and even went to the police station several times. But I still couldn’t find him. So I thought, Dad must have run away. Because of me, because raising me was too hard… Dad couldn’t handle it and ran away. Even though I’m an alpha, I can’t even sense pheromones properly, and I’m just a nuisance who racks up a lot of money in hospital bills.

“…Seo-oh.”

“Se-han is still so young, what am I supposed to do on my own now? I’ve been stuck on that thought ever since high school… I hated myself for being someone my family couldn’t love. I hated myself so much for not being loved by my family. It was terrible.”

Seo-oh’s long eyelashes glistened with moisture in the dark yard.

“But because Se-han was there, because Se-han really couldn’t do without me, I just endured. I forced myself not to think about Dad… because that’s how I could get by.”

“…….”

“Honestly, I had half given up on finding Dad. Deep down, I thought he had abandoned us because of me. But this time, knowing that Dad didn’t just abandon us and leave… that was such a relief, and selfishly, that was what made me happiest and most at ease, so I…”

Seo-oh lowered his head again.

“I hate myself so much, Hyung….”

His voice, which had been wavering more and more, sounded almost like a whisper by the end. After a moment of uneven breaths, Nam-woon edged a little closer to him. Then he gently wrapped his arms around Seo-oh’s large body.

“I was really surprised when I first saw Se-han.”

“…….”

“Because that kid is such a kind and lovely child.”

Nam-woon unconsciously recalled his own childhood. A child who had dirty, smelly clothes with bruises all over his body. And the people around him who always pointed fingers at him.

“When I was young, I heard adults say that you can tell if a child is loved. It shows in everything they do… I didn’t believe that at all at first. But after seeing Se-han, I changed my mind.”

“…….”

“I could tell right away. That he was raised with lots of love from his brother.”

He could hear Seo-oh take a deep breath. His breathing was thick with emotion.

“You were so young, but you worked hard to take care of your younger sibling, and it must have been tough all by yourself. I wouldn’t have been able to do that if it were me. That’s what I thought.”

Nam-woon hugged Seo-oh’s large body. Pain surged from his bruised shoulder and back, but he didn’t mind it at all. No matter what happened to his body, he wanted to hold him tightly right now.

“Who could hate someone like you? Someone who tries so hard.” 

“…….”

A gentle hand softly patted his neck.

 Seo-oh, letting out wet breaths, burrowed into Nam-woon’s embrace. Nam-woon spoke softly.

“You’ve been through a lot. All this time.”

Nam-woon felt the back of his neck getting slightly damp where Seo-oh had buried his face. His large body now felt as small as a child. The breath scattering over his skin carried a tremble.

After a moment in Nam-woon’s arms, Seo-oh whispered in a wet voice,

 “You’re not going anywhere, are you, Hyung?”

“……”

“You’ll stay here… forever?”

Right? Seo-oh rubbed his forehead against Nam-woon’s neck, pressing his body closer. He urged for an answer like a child whining.

When Nam-woon didn’t answer immediately, Seo-oh asked in a gloomy voice,

“Does Hyung hate me too?”

“No. I like you.”

This time, Nam-woon answered without hesitation. Then Seo-oh asked again,

“Then you’ll stay here, right?”

Yes…Nam-woon answered quietly, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise. Even now, the main quest given by the system was quietly floating before his eyes. Reading it made the corner of Nam-woon’s heart ache.

Seo-oh, having gotten an answer, hugged Nam-woon with all his might. Feeling the strong embrace as if he would never let go, Nam-woon could only pat Seo-oh’s broad back.