M 72

“…I’m sorry.”

Lee Sehwa pressed the back of his hand against his mouth, then removed it and bowed his head deeply.

“What do you have to be sorry about? I’m the one who came unannounced… Are you still feeling unwell?”

“Ah, I’m fine now.”

It seemed like a perfunctory response, and he still didn’t look well.

When he spotted Lee Sehwa in the food court and approached him, Sehwa suddenly started retching as soon as he saw him. He thought something terrible had happened. As he stood there frozen, not knowing what to do, Lee Sehwa mumbled something in a barely audible voice. He could barely make out the words ‘flower’ and ‘smell’, and only then did Oh Seon-ran realize what the problem was.

Kim Seok-cheol’s words belatedly struck him. He had said Sehwa was pregnant… Thinking he needed to meet Sehwa right away, Oh Seon-ran hastily prepared flowers. It wasn’t just a bouquet he wanted to give him, but he couldn’t go empty-handed, so he quickly got them… He hadn’t even considered he might be experiencing morning sickness. The flower shops in the 5-Star hotel use various treatments to make the scents last longer, and it seems he had difficulty handling those artificial smells.

“Is there anything you’d like to eat? Or drink?”

Wanting to make up for the insensitive first meeting, Oh Seon-ran handed Sehwa a menu. He had intended to talk in a private lounge, wanting to avoid the gaze of others, but decided it would be better to move to a café near the food court instead.

“Pregnant people should eat whatever they crave right away. Otherwise, the baby will be born cross-eyed.”

“…Pardon? Cross-eyed?”

Sehwa, who had been averting his gaze awkwardly, suddenly looked directly at him.

“Yes, so order freely. It’s okay even if you just take one bite and leave the rest.”

“Ah… thank you. But anyway, this child…”

Sehwa, who had opened his mouth to say something, seemed to decide it wasn’t appropriate to discuss in front of a stranger and closed it again.

An awkward silence fell. Oh Seon-ran, finally calming his startled heart, could carefully observe the man sitting in front of him – Lee Sehwa, or rather, Lee Jin-woo’s child. Though his face was youthful, he didn’t seem like a minor. He was taller than Jin-woo, and while somewhat thin, his frame wasn’t small. Yet, to Seon-ran’s eyes, Sehwa looked like a child.

“…They said he doesn’t resemble him at all.”

“Pardon?”

“Ah, it’s nothing. Just talking to myself.”

There are some people who have a naturally gentle impression even when expressionless. Jin-woo had been like that in the past, and Sehwa was the same.

Sehwa had been in the food court, seriously contemplating between cherries and blueberries, while the adjutant next to him was urging him to take both, seeming frustrated. As Sehwa shook his head, his eyes met Oh Seon-ran’s, and then, realizing that soldiers were starting to surround him, he looked bewildered, and then he was horrified as he counted the number of stars on his uniform.

When Oh Seon-ran introduced himself by rank and name and asked if he could spare some time, Sehwa fortunately nodded. Sehwa was briefly elated that he didn’t seem to be refusing, but that was short-lived. It was closer to familiar resignation than agreement. Sehwa seemed so accustomed to chronic misfortune that he didn’t mind important people arbitrarily commandeering his time.

“I’m still not feeling well… I’m fine. Please eat comfortably.”

Sehwa looked around with an expression that was neither smiling nor overly tense. He wasn’t obviously looking around, just rolling his eyes to check the number of people surrounding the place, the structure of the passages, and the location of emergency exits… As if ready to escape at any moment.

Oh Seon-ran took a deep breath. He was so nervous that his hands and feet were tingling. Sehwa was the spitting image of Jin-woo. Anyone who knew Jin-woo would have recognized him as his offspring. Of course, Sehwa’s features were a bit more striking, but from skin tone to the speed of blinking his eyelashes, he seemed like he had been cast from the same mold.

Oh Seon-ran couldn’t count how many times he had dreamed of this moment. He had endlessly imagined the stories he would tell when he found the child. But… he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

While Sehwa had obediently followed him, his expression had instantly hardened. As if he had put on a mask. He had even hidden his distinctive way of speaking, slightly dragging out the ends of his words, which he had used comfortably when talking with Warrant Officer Choi earlier. He had briefly reviewed how Sehwa had lived until now, but this moment brought home his past life more vividly than any document.

He must be twenty-one now. It was an age that suited that innocent and gentle face that had been contemplating fruit earlier. No, he could have acted even more childish and petulant without any problem. But this young one had already learned to change faces like worn-out adults.

“I’m sorry, but may I ask why such an important person has come to see me?”

His expression was still frozen as if covered with a thin layer of ice, but he used a gentle tone, trying not to offend the other party.

Oh Seon-ran closed his eyes tightly for a moment. Sehwa’s small habits, learned to survive, choked him up. His guarded gaze, full of wariness, became nails and thorns, pounding on his heart that had already burned to ashes.

He was a complete fool. He had been in the country. He even seemed to have frequent contact with Kim Seok-cheol… Oh Seon-ran didn’t know even though he was right under his nose. He failed to rescue him earlier, and let him live like this. Jin-woo’s child. Their child…

“Well, you must have been surprised to have an unfamiliar soldier suddenly visit you… Since you don’t seem to be feeling well, I’ll just briefly state my business.”

So Oh Seon-ran swallowed all the stories he had practiced countless times.

How would this child, who had lived such a hard life, react if he suddenly appeared and said he was his father? He wasn’t even his biological parent.

If he at least had a photo taken with Jin-woo, or even just of Jin-woo, maybe he could have persuaded Sehwa a little more easily. With nothing left, if he suddenly said he was his father’s lover, that he had been looking for him for a long time, and that he wanted to be his family now… Would Sehwa believe this story? Would he accept it willingly?

No. Even he would be skeptical. Didn’t Kim Seok-cheol misunderstand that he was looking for a young mistress?

“To the person who gave birth to you, that is, your biological father… I owed a great debt. A very big one.”

So Oh Seon-ran decided to set aside his own desires. Yes, all of this is selfish. If anyone else misunderstood this feeling, it would be fine, but if Jin-woo’s child, if Sehwa misinterpreted it, he felt like he would want to die.

This life that he had endured, stubbornly focusing on a single goal, this faded pure love… But Sehwa had no obligation to accept and understand this. Whatever happened in the past, it was literally just a past that Sehwa knew nothing about.

“There was a secret experiment conducted by the military, and the person who gave birth to you was under my command.”

Oh Seon-ran had imagined countless times the day when Jin-woo’s child, found belatedly, would call him father. He wanted to tell him how firmly Jin-woo endured in there to give birth to him, how sorry he was to him, and how much he wanted to love him. Even though they didn’t share a single drop of blood, he wanted to comfort him by saying that he had missed him all along and already loved him like his own child. He wanted to soothe the child’s difficult past times and reminisce about Jin-woo together. But.

“It’s difficult to explain the details, but thanks to that person, I…”

Oh Seon-ran closed his eyes for a moment. The cold wind he often felt when dreaming about Jin-woo wrapped around his body. Even knowing it was an illusion, he couldn’t help the sting in his nose.

“I was able to be promoted to Major General.”

Jin-woo, Lee Jin-woo.

“That’s why I’ve been looking for you all this time. I need to repay… the debt to that person.”

The fact that he loved him so much, that he still couldn’t forget him and have been searching for this child all this time… Oh Seon-ran thought it was better to leave that as their story, just between them. If he had grown up normally in an ordinary home, it might be different, but he couldn’t honestly tell everything just to ease his mind to this child who has probably been as unfortunate as he was. He didn’t think he should. I’m sorry, Jin-woo.

“Also… I made a promise. That I would take care of you like a father.”

Let’s leave it as an immortal, eternal secret known only to us. You and me.

“That I would definitely find the child who was taken away, and give him whatever he wanted and cherish him… Like that.”

Oh Seon-ran opened the worn envelope. Even though he had put it in a new envelope, it was marked with fingerprints here and there from holding it tightly all this time.

“What is this?”

The stiff and ornate certificate with gold embossing was embroidered with all kinds of auspicious animals. They were patterns that only the absolute ruler of this country could use.

“Read it.”

Even when pushed right in front of him, Sehwa didn’t accept it, remaining highly wary. This was expected.

“It’s a document certified by the head of state when I was specially promoted to Major General 14 years ago.”

Oh Seon-ran smiled faintly and pointed out each item written on the certificate.

“First, Oh Seon-ran is officially permitted to stay abroad upon promotion to Major General. However, this is only possible for the purpose of finding the child of Lee Jin-woo, experiment code name L318-37, hereinafter referred to as ‘the child’. Second, all property and associated rights under Oh Seon-ran’s name are transferred to ‘the child’, and it is clearly stated that even Oh Seon-ran’s direct family cannot interfere with this. Third, the land owned by Oh Seon-ran on the border of the 5-Star and 4-Star areas cannot be encroached upon by the state or military permanently. If ‘the child’ is not found, all of Oh Seon-ran’s assets after death will be used to maintain and cultivate this vacant lot. The exact land area and address are provided in the attached registration documents.”

The above content is guaranteed in the name and authority of the head of state. After reading the last sentence, Sehwa just blinked without saying a word. He looked like he had no idea how to respond.

“If you want, you can call Brigadier General Ki Tae-jeong to verify the authenticity of the document. That kid, no, that person dislikes me very much, so he won’t do anything for my benefit.”

After that, Oh Seon-ran hurriedly laid out the story he had prepared. He wanted to speak more slowly and kindly, but it wasn’t working out well.

Now, he was the only person in the world who remembered Jin-woo. So he had spent a long time thinking about how to prove his feelings when he met the child. He could show and tell everything. But the frightened Sehwa might refuse to see him anymore, so he had to put everything out there now. To reassure the child a little bit. Maybe if they met a few more times and got closer, Sehwa would open his heart someday…

“I’m very sorry about what you’ve been through… But you’ve probably heard about it too, having worked at the House for a long time. The story of a high-ranking military official looking for a child of unknown identity for a long time. That was me.”

“…”

“Also… Don’t you have multiple injection marks on your forearm? But you haven’t developed antibodies, right? Although you don’t have exactly the same constitution as Jin-woo… I mean your father, probably the brokers who took you when you were young,”

“Um…”

Interrupting Oh Seon-ran’s rapid-fire speech, Sehwa moved his lips as if troubled. He seemed uncomfortable with both the title ‘Major General’ and the familiar term ‘uncle’, trailing off with a hesitant “Uh…”

“Honestly, I can’t believe everything you’re saying. But I think I understand well enough that you… um, had a special relationship with the person you say gave birth to me. So…”

“……”

“So you don’t need to explain so desperately.”

Oh Seon-ran, who had been staring blankly at Sehwa for a moment, smiled awkwardly.

“Did I… do that?”

“Yes. You kept looking at me like you were about to cry.”

Oh Seon-ran brushed various parts of his dry face. Was he making such a face? Like he was about to cry. Desperately…

“I’m sorry. Even though I want to act calmly… it’s not easy because I’ve been looking for you for so long.”

When the hasty conversation, neither persuasion nor explanation, stopped, an overwhelming silence flowed. Sehwa quietly stared at the shining certificate placed in front of him with an awkward expression. After a while, he spoke as if he had made a decision.

“Um… What should I answer? Right now?”

“No, no. I just wanted to let you know this happened. As I said, I know it’s sudden and hard to believe.”

Sehwa nodded and carefully pulled the certificate towards himself.

“My constitution… I only found out about it recently. So…”

“What? You only found out recently? I thought you weren’t addicted to drugs.”

So wasn’t that why he was in charge of drvg distribution? There must have been a reason Lieutenant Kim specifically worked with Sehwa…

“Ah, that’s…”

Sehwa hesitated for a moment, as if wondering if he should talk about this. Then, seemingly deciding there was nothing left to hide from Oh Seon-ran, he continued. It wasn’t because he trusted him, but rather because he assumed Oh Seon-ran already knew everything, given his high position and the fact that he had come all this way.

“This might sound strange, but I always thought my body only reacted to anesthetics and narcotics. But thinking about it, other drvgs… like cold medicine or aphrodisiacs, didn’t really work on me either.”

“…”

“But I wasn’t really aware of this issue, so even I didn’t realize it. Selling drvgs was my main income, and everything I tried was of that kind. I never thought that I might not react to other things as well.”

Sehwa trailed off, saying, “You probably don’t understand what I’m talking about.”

“No, I think I do.”

Oh Seon-ran nodded, his face looked pained as if cut by a knife.

“I’m serious. I can imagine what the situation was like.”

There had been no one to carefully observe Sehwa’s condition when he was young. Whether he was burning up with fever because cold medicine didn’t work, or whether vitamins had no effect… As long as he could sell drvgs well, that was probably enough. No, had Sehwa ever even taken any beneficial drvgs or treatments other than narcotics?

Sehwa himself, struggling just to survive, must have been indifferent to his own body. So he probably focused only on the most noticeable physical phenomena. Limiting his usefulness and constitution solely to drvgs, like that.

“Well, shall we start with this then?”

Oh Seon-ran tried to speak cheerfully to Sehwa.

“So, do you want to have a child?”

“Pardon?”

“I heard you’re pregnant. What do you want to do?”

Shattering the mask he had been wearing so well until now, Sehwa flustered with a clear face.

“Uh, no… As I said earlier, I…”

“This time my words might sound strange, but I don’t know how the child came to be, but having a blood relative… having a family can be something you desperately want. That’s not a strange feeling at all.”

Because Jin-woo was like that too. Oh Seon-ran suppressed the burning feeling that kept trying to rise in his throat.

“If you’ve been worrying because you’re not in a position to raise the child, I can help. Of course, if you don’t want to, that’s fine too. I can help with anything… really, anything.”

“…”

“…Please give me a chance to do that for you.”

Oh Seon-ran put his hands on his waist while sitting, trying to hide his trembling hands. But no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer conceal the moisture in his voice.

“I’m not asking you to become my adopted child right away. Though I’d be grateful if you did…”

If only he could someday take Sehwa to that empty lot, where traces of the unfindable Jin-woo were buried, he felt he couldn’t ask for anything more.

The empty land where the laboratory and detention center had collapsed was prime real estate where anything could be built. People were constantly pestering him to sell it if he was just going to leave it empty. But Oh Seon-ran had planted trees there. He quietly laid down grass and, whenever he had the chance, brought in all sorts of beautiful flowers. And he surrounded it with a huge wall. He created a vast and quiet space, neither forest nor garden nor botanical garden, where no one could set foot, and using even the name of the head of state, he left that irretrievable time as an eternity.

“If you want, I’ll even bring a certificate promising to take responsibility for the child you’ll have. I still have a few rights left. You know that certificate you saw earlier? A Major General can request five certifications from the head of state.”

“I…”

As Sehwa hesitantly opened his mouth while carefully holding his stomach, a murmuring sound was heard from afar.