M 39

​It would be nice if Ki Tae-jeong could at least make fun of him like usual. Ki Tae-jeong just stared at Sehwa with an unreadable expression.

“When did you come under the boss Son’s wing?”

As he was biting my lip out of embarrassment, fortunately, Ki Tae-jeong broke the silence first. Sehwa looked pleased and adjusted his posture.​

“It hasn’t been ten years yet. I came over when the place I was originally at went under…”

Come to think of it, where did the people who came here with him at that time go? Even when he tried to recall, their faces were now blurry, despite the fact that it hadn’t been long. Sehwa suddenly felt like he was getting older. Having done the same thing for twenty-one years… even though others teased him for being young, Sehwa himself felt sick and tired of living for so long.

​“The boss liked me at first too. Even when I transferred to the 4-Hwan, he said he liked my ferocity. Even though I wasn’t good at playing Hwatu, he often bet big on me…”

He was promoted at nineteen. Even if Sehwa had been crawling on this floor since he was born, it was still an exceptionally rare move. Of course, he hated getting nicknames like Samwol, Hongdan, or Sakura, but he didn’t mind the promotion itself. The change in basic salary and the speed at which debts piled up were different. So there was no reason to dislike it.

“At first? Isn’t he still fond of you now?”

“You can see for yourself.”

Sehwa chuckled bitterly.

“I… I refused to do it.”

“What, selling your body?”

“… Yes.”​

So he worked even harder like an obsessed person. When customers complained that he was stiff, he tried to act warm and friendly in his own way. Sometimes, when he handed out drugs, he deliberately created a strange atmosphere. But when the inevitable moment came, he actively introduced the house-exclusive services to the guests, or as the boss said, calling it an escort service.

“Maybe it’s because I don’t listen as obediently as other kids do… I think it’s because he doesn’t like seeing that.”

When he diverted guests’ attention using exclusive escorts, Sehwa expected the higher-ups, including the boss, to appreciate it. After all, he wasn’t ripping them off, but rather spending more money at the house. He hoped for praise for bringing in more profit than expected. But instead, the boss just seemed to resent him more and more.

“Is that why you’re so sensitive?”

“Yes?”

“You seem to cry at the drop of a hat when I mention similar topics.”

​Ki Tae-jeong laughed as he removed the plastic cigarette pack from the basket next to the sofa.​

“Whore, slut… what else was it? You’re even freaking out for no reason when it wasn’t even directed at you.”

“That… Actually, I…”​

Sehwa fidgeted with his earlobe, then bowed his head deeply. He had once briefly lamented to the auntie at the restaurant, but this was the first time he had properly poured out his heart like this. So his heart raced as if he were confessing something to Ki Tae-jeong. Well, in a sense, it was a confession…

“I, I’ve never done it with someone I like before…”​

Ki Tae-jeong coughed faintly after taking a deep suck on his cigarette. As if to indicate that he heard it, even if he didn’t want to.

“… What?”​

“Oh, it’s not that I don’t have experience…”​

“No, you have such a fantasy?”

“I might have….”

​Sehwa became embarrassed and wiggled his bare feet. The bleeding had completely stopped, and new skin had formed, leaving only scars in the severely injured areas. With this, he should be able to walk around without any problems.

“Well, okay. You’ve never f*cked with someone you like… So?”​

“But… The director said it was obvious. Um, people who have done it a lot.”

“Aha. Are you worried that the person you like might notice that you’ve been around the block?”

“…I haven’t been around the block though…”

“Ah, I see.”

​Ki Tae-jeong kept laughing as if he was dumbfounded. It seemed like he was thinking about where to start and what advice to give to this pitiful and naive kid.​

“Babe.”

​Sehwa’s heart sank again at the call, which was no different from usual. After hearing his name called once, he wished Ki Tae-jeong had continued to call him like that.

Then he realized. For quite some time, no one had called him by his full name, Lee Sehwa.

He was a beggar, a pill-popper, and Samwol, but no one had ever called him Lee Sehwa. That’s why it felt strange when Ki Tae-jeong called him by his name. It made his heart race as if he had taken drugs. Ki Tae-jeong may have made the call casually because he was in a hurry, but for Sehwa, it was the first time

​“I’m saying this because I feel a little sorry for taking advantage of someone eight years younger than me who is stupidly, or rather innocently talking about love. If you meet someone who says such things, run away.”​

“Yes?”

“In the house, you’ve probably seen plenty. Those who are submissive to the bad guys, bending their arms and twisting themselves.”

Doing it with someone you really like? Ki Tae-jeong snorted and told him to stop talking about such a fantasy.​

​”You have to have some level of fantasy about fairy tales. It’s people like you who give their bodies and hearts that ended up being taken advantage of.”

​Sehwa’s eyebrows drooped sullenly at the cynical remark. However, when Ki Tae-jeong clicked his tongue and said that it would be a big deal if only the man’s face were revealed, Sehwa couldn’t help but speak up.​

“Oh, no! It’s not that I’m scared of being disappointed in myself… It’s just that I feel very sorry for the other person. Because I haven’t lived an honorable life…I’m a criminal, right?”

Ki Tae-jeong didn’t respond at all.  He just pursed his lips slightly, emitting a bitter smoke instead of cursing. He would be mocking Sehwa inwardly for being so foolish. Sehwa pretended to be tired and closed his eyes. …He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have just told some trivial stories from his miserable past and left it at that. He hadn’t told anyone about it because he expected such a reaction. …Why did he find himself wanting to confide in him?

When he was with Ki Tae-jeong, he definitely felt a bit strange. He acted younger and more naive than usual. Was it because he showed his vulnerable side from the start, crying and wailing? There was no need to pretend to be tough in front of Ki Tae-jeong, or to pretend to be indifferent or knowledgeable about worldly affairs. Maybe that’s why, without realizing it, he gradually exposed his inner self. Even though he knew it would only lead to bleeding and pain.

“The first time I saw you.”

​Sehwa’s head lifted up to hear Ki Tae-jeong’s half-submerged voice.​

“I thought that you have quite a temper…”​

His eyes narrowed as he exhaled smoke. He knew the meaning of that look. Right now, Ki Tae-jeong was evaluating him. How to hunt and tear him apart.

​“I thought a bit about how to get you to listen to me. I didn’t even know you were this stubborn.”

Ki Tae-jeong had said something like that not long ago. That he wanted to f*ck Sehwa as soon as he saw him because he looked pretty. Although Sehwa naturally didn’t believe flattering words like that, it seemed sincere that he wanted to bend and break him to make him obedient.

​Ki Tae-jeong swept up his slightly damp hair. It was a little awkward to see a thin, white cigarette hanging dangerously between his lips, rather than a thick, black cigar. It wasn’t that it was unfamiliar or didn’t suit him. It was more like when the cheeks slim down when sucking deeply on a filter, or when the fingers become more prominent while holding the white cigarette… It felt even more provocative than when he was smoking the black cigarette.

​Perhaps sensing the prying eyes, Ki Tae-jeong also looked his way. Sehwa’s reflection was faintly visible in his black pupils, with his lips slightly parted. Sehwa suddenly felt a tickle in his throat, unbearable. He felt like he had to say something.

“I, I also have a question for the director.”

Like failed drugs, a hazy sediment settled in his chest. He wanted to shake it all up because it felt suffocating. So Sehwa blurted out whatever came to mind. It was as daring as raising his hand to take on the task of transporting drugs for the first time.

“The director also asked me questions.”

​More than anything, I didn’t want the conversation to end like this. It seemed like there would never be a time like this again. When I went back to the office, I would just put on a gown like before and wait for Ki Tae-jeong to come back, and I would be bothered by his ridiculous accusations and end up spreading my legs. From now on, I don’t think he will talk to me this bluntly, give me advice, or call me by my name… So I wanted to talk to him as much as possible before he changed his mind and started showing interest in my holes.​

​“Being cheeky again, huh?”

​“It’s because I’m really curious. Why did you bring me here today? Honestly, I didn’t help you at all.”

Of course, he wanted to add that his actions were too extreme, but it wouldn’t help at all in this situation, so he swallowed the words.

​“So you know that you are just a burden?”

​Ki Tae-jeong stood up with a smile on his face.​

“Lieutenant Park may have edited it to be as favorable as possible, but I still thought it would have been better to have someone who looked less like a soldier as his companion. If you’re too skilled, you might arouse unnecessary suspicion.”

Ki Tae-jeong’s wide back, which had been bending down deeply to take out bottled water from the mini refrigerator, paused for a moment. Sehwa turned his head in confusion. What’s going on? When he turned back, something flew towards Sehwa in a flash.​

“What is this…”​

It was a bottle of water. Suddenly, the water bottle that hit Sehwa in the chest tumbled to the floor. Sehwa wasn’t dull in terms of reflexes, but he hadn’t expected Ki Tae-jeong to throw it at him, so he didn’t have time to prepare to catch it.

“Dull, aren’t you?”

​Rubbing the sore spot where he had been hit with the back of his hand, Sehwa didn’t even think about his own surprise attack. Instead, Ki Tae-jeong clicked his tongue lightly.

​“More than anything, I needed someone to confirm that the drug was really a finished product.”​

​Ah… Sehwa nodded shyly. Right, that was the most important issue, and that was why Ki Tae-jeong had kept him alive all this time. Understanding the situation. Sehwa again brought in the topic that had been thrown away. He was thinking about coming to his senses earlier, but somehow he just felt like he was only thinking about it.​

“Do you have another question?”

Ki Tae-jeong lit a cigarette, saying today was his last chance. Even while observing him light up his cigarette whenever he had the chance, Sehwa couldn’t help but think that he was a huge smoker.​

“Uh… Do you exercise a lot?”

As he absentmindedly watched the dispersing white smoke, an out-of-the-blue question popped out. It’s not like Ki Tae-jeong had opened the door for such questions… But Sehwa couldn’t think of anything else to ask right away. He wanted to continue the conversation, but he couldn’t ask about military secrets or anything like that.

​“You were running really fast earlier… I was surprised. Oh, no, you smoke a lot, but your lung capacity is…”​

“Just fast? Honestly, I don’t think it’s human level.”

Hmm… Sehwa couldn’t respond. The nuance was subtle. It seemed like Ki Tae-jeong was acting nonchalant as usual. It was difficult to react because it felt like he was both boasting and self-deprecating at the same time.

“I’m an orphan too. I was picked up by the military, not the House, but…”

“…What?”