SOG Ch 117

It seemed like they were not heading to the hotel again today. Jae-chan suppressed the tightness of his mouth by pressing it with the back of his hand. I silently stared at the evenly spaced trees and thick shrubs flowing past the car window.

The car was filled with silence until they arrived at the guide’s accommodation. The car stopped gently in front of the hotel.

“Thanks for the ride.”

Jae-chan was about to get out. Click. Suddenly the door was locked. He looked back at the driver’s seat with a puzzled expression.

Meanwhile, Woo-jin’s eyes also widened slightly. Locking the door wasn’t his intention. It was the result of his hand moving on its own before he could think about it.

The headlights of a car exiting the parking lot dimly illuminated the faces of the two people frozen in the stillness.

“…”

For a moment, a faint blush appeared on Jae-chan’s cheeks. Woo-jin suddenly realized this was the moment he had longed for so desperately – being alone in an enclosed space with the shining Jae-chan.

“…Will you kiss me before you go?”

In the end, Woo-jin ended up saying those words.

Jae-chan’s lips twitched slightly, then he glanced around in embarrassment. His hesitation was brief. He leaned in. He soon leaned in close, giving Woo-jin the lightest peck on the cheek before pulling away.

Since it had been so long since any contact besides guiding, Woo-jin felt a sudden thirst in that moment.

He stretched out his hand without realizing it, pulling Jae-chan back into an embrace. An achingly familiar and pleasant scent wafted up, making his heart flutter.

At that moment, Woo-jin’s patience completely ran out and he pressed their lips together.

He frantically nipped and sucked at Jae-chan’s incredibly sweet skin, as if he had just eaten candy. His slightly chapped lips instantly softened.

As he indulged in those sugary, warm lips, the only thought in his mind was wanting to feel that contact again mindlessly like before. He wanted to hold Jae-chan tightly in his arms, kiss him, greedily touch his most intimate areas, and hear his panting breaths like a song.

An overwhelming wave of excitement washed over Woo-jin. At the same time, his self-awareness suddenly returned.

This isn’t right.

Woo-jin gathered the tattered shreds of his patience and carefully pulled himself away from Jae-chan.

It was right at the moment when Jae-chan had responded to the kiss by pulling him into an embrace.

Seon Jae-chan’s arms hung awkwardly in the air. Woo-jin, focused entirely on restraining his raging lust, belatedly realized what had happened. Ironically, it looked like he had pushed Jae-chan away.

“…”

“…”

For a moment, an awkward air settled between the two.

Jae-chan blinked a couple of times, then pulled his awkward hand and pressed it to his mouth. He pressed his wet lips as if he was trying to clean them, and then grabbed the doorknob.

“I’m going in.”

Jae-chan nodded slightly and opened the car door.

His slender, lithe body quickly exited the vehicle. “Uh…” Woo-jin tried to say something to stop him, awkwardly waving his hand instead. Jae-chan had already lowered his head, though he waved back with a bright expression.

“…Yeah, take care.”

Click, and the door closes without hesitation. While seeing Jae-chan off, Woo-jin tried to hide his feelings of wanting to make all kinds of excuses.

Jae-chan waved one more time in front of the entrance before going inside. Even after his figure completely disappeared, Woo-jin remained dazed in the darkness for a long while.

How much time had passed?

A crease slowly formed between Woo-jin’s brows.

You…Don’t you find me strange?

Aren’t you curious at all?

His behavior had been quite different from usual for quite some time now. However, Jae-chan had not expressed a single question about it.

He simply accepted all of Woo-jin’s reactions like flowing water. No matter how desperately Woo-jin wanted him one day or suddenly stopped everything the next, he wouldn’t question it at all.

Even if Woo-jin suggested going to the lodging right now to have sex, Jae-chan would not ask why. He would simply agree and say let’s go to the hotel. He had been like that from the beginning.

It seemed he regarded their relationship as purely contractual. There was no room for emotional contemplation.

Woo-jin recalled the conversation between Yoon Seo-mi and Seon Jae-chan that he unintentionally overheard in the lobby on the first floor of the guide bureau.

‘Woo-jin said you were just a sex partner?’

As expected, the stepmother was revealing the contents of her conversation with him. When Woo-jin thought he should use a superpower or something to shut her mouth before Jae-chan could hear those words, Jae-chan responded first.

‘Yes, that’s right.’

That dry voice.

‘We’re indeed a sex partner.’

Woo-jin awkwardly squeezed the steering wheel and covered his face with his hands.

There was no lie in Jae-chan’s words. The two of them did have that kind of relationship…

A small sigh escaped from his lips. By reviewing the situation like this, he could vaguely realize why he had been so shocked by Jae-chan’s words, and why he felt this way.

He was the only one hurt by the definition of their relationship as “sex partners.”

“…”

Woo-jin cursed at himself. ‘Aren’t you curious about me?’ From the start, he didn’t even have the right to ask Jae-chan something like that.

A self-mocking laugh burst out. Suddenly it felt like a huge fireball had hit him squarely in the chest. Like a victim of a sudden accident, Woo-jin remained motionless for a long while, simply ruminating in silence. It was a burning, numbing realization.

*

That night, after returning to his officetel, even before Woo-jin could sort out his turbulent feelings, he received a message. It was from Jae-chan.

[(Voice message)]

[This is a recording of the conversation I had with Director Yoon. 8:45 PM]

Woo-jin, who was observing in the silence in the living room with no lights on, slowly played the file.

It contained a thorough recording of the situation at the Guide Bureau lobby, beginning even before his arrival, with the chaotic background noise. Woo-jin inwardly hoped he had misheard, but the latter part of the conversation was exactly as he remembered.

The roughly 5-minute voice message automatically ended with a rustling sound. Still tense, Woo-jin checked the final message Jae-chan had sent.

[Sponsor, I kept my promise to you haha 8:47 PM]

Jae-chan’s playful voice seemed to be heard clearly. It was truly an overly neat attitude.

‘Sponsor.’ Go Woo-jin looked down at the title. Until now, whenever Jae-chan had called him that, he thought it was cute, but now it felt like his stomach was turning over.

While Woo-jin was at a loss for what to do, Jae-chan was simply objectively clarifying his innocence as the sponsored party, as if their relationship was merely contractual.

He covered his left cheek with his palm. That was where Jae-chan’s kiss had landed just an hour ago. That affectionate contact, which had already felt ticklish and delicate, now seemed like a mirage.

Even though he received such a friendly kiss, Woo-jin felt like there was a thick wall between him and Seon Jae-chan. A steel wall that could never be broken through.

Unable to just stay still, Woo-jin immediately grabbed his car keys and headed to the training grounds. He recklessly expended his abilities in matches against the Espers who were already training there.

It was to schedule a guiding schedule.

*

However, the next morning at the start of the weekend, despite Woo-jin’s efforts, he could not get any emotional hints from Jae-chan at all.

“They use the lounge like it’s their personal bathroom or something. One guy was even waxing his legs…”

As he guided, Jae-chan recounted an absurd story about the male apprentices of Team 2, but his face showed not a trace of sentiment or curiosity related to yesterday’s events.

The only emotion that could be felt from him, just like the single previous time, was simply warmth and gentleness. There was no sign of the cornered desperation, the sticky lust that Woo-jin himself felt.

After the guiding session ended, Woo-jin forced a smiling expression as he left Jae-chan’s lodgings, but his heart was heavy with unspoken words.

He was even confused now whether Jae-chan’s warm affability stemmed from caring for Woo-jin, or was simply the same warmth as admiring a passing cat.

If it was the latter? Wouldn’t that be indifference?

Days passed in that gut-wrenching way.

While Woo-jin suffered through emotional turmoil he had never experienced before, time flowed on, and Wednesday – the day before their deployment to Zone Z – eventually arrived.

“Do you know where Guide Team 2 is?”

Go Woo-jin, who was completing formal joint training with E-SOF team members at the training base outside District 1, heard that Guide Teams 2 had arrived for on-site support. Wondering if Jae-chan had also come, he headed towards the F barracks, where guiding sessions were being held.

Sure enough, he spotted Guide Team 2 amidst a row of about ten military tents. Two familiar apprentice Guides were huddled in discussion in front of an amplifier, while Jae-chan was focused on guiding a young female Esper beside them with his back turned.

Woo-jin froze for a few seconds.

‘…Did he really guide that diligently with other espers like this?’

He glanced over at Jae-chan, who was guiding another Espers. His animated profile, the affectionate way he patted her slender shoulders – those gestures expanded unnecessarily in Woo-jin’s eyes.

The dark thoughts he had barely suppressed were resurfacing. Doubts that to Jae-chan, he himself was simply one ordinary esper among many.

Unable to bear the feeling of not just being gutted but having even the last shreds of his sanity disintegrate, Woo-jin hurriedly walked to another tent.

And Nam Hae-sol, glancing back and forth between the visibly unwell Woo-jin and her senior, followed with a determined expression.

*

[Auntie, if I don’t hear from you by today, I will come visit you in the evening. I’m worried.]

After finishing his guiding session, Jae-chan took a brief moment to check his messages. However, there was still no reply to the text he had sent in the morning.

“Are you all done?”

The Esper he had just been guiding asked. Meeting her pale complexion, Jae-chan felt a pang of regret. In case it was another Esper, he should have waited a little longer and checked the contact.