SOG Ch 180

Jae-chan’s heart sank, thinking Woo-jin was already preciously carrying around a photo. Woo-jin, slightly frowning, gently shook Jae-chan’s shoulder.

“Look closely. It’s not Guide Nam Hae-sol.”

Only then did details start to enter Seon Jae-chan’s vision, which had darkened from shock.

The oval face and features of the eyes, nose, and mouth were identical to Nam Hae-sol’s, but looking very closely, almost close enough for his nose to touch it, there seemed to be some differences. The eyebrow shape seemed slightly different too.

‘A mint-colored dress…?’

Suddenly, Jae-chan realized that the color of the dress worn by the woman in the photo was the same as the dress that Woo-jin from before the regression and he himself after the regression had gifted to Nam Hae-sol.

“What you saw in the basement of Research Building 2 wasn’t a photo of Guide Nam, but of my mother. My biological mother.”

Woo-jin, who had raised the bedroom’s lighting with a remote, approached and pointed to the person in the photo.

“I remember being a bit surprised when I first saw Guide Nam too. Because she resembled my birth mother.”

Jae-chan, having heard such unexpected words, processed the information a bit slowly.

Mother… Woo-jin’s birth mother?

“It’s true, I noticed the resemblance when I saw her at the New Guide Welcome Ceremony. That day, I thought she looked strikingly like the woman in this picture.”

As he listened to Woo-jin’s explanation, Jae-chan met eyes with the woman in the photo again. Suddenly, he clearly recognized the short hair fluttering in the sea breeze. Come to think of it, before the new guide welcoming party, Nam Hae-sol had also cut her hair short.

“I’m sorry for making you anxious.”

Woo-jin murmured sincerely. But Seon Jae-chan was still confused.

“Then why did you two date in the future?”

Jae-chan, unable to recover from his shock, blurted out.

“And for several years at that… Even giving expensive dresses as gifts-“

Jae-chan, half in panic, belatedly remembered that after the regression, he himself had gifted Nam Hae-sol an expensive dress.

There’s a limit to being unreasonable. Seon Jae-chan shut his mouth, which had been interrogating like a jealous husband. Besides, this wasn’t a question for the current Woo-jin who knew nothing about it.

“Don’t worry about it. …I’m sorry for doubting you needlessly.”

Sorry. Jae-chan whispered softly, repeating it. He gently patted the back of Woo-jin’s hand with his hand pulled out from under the blanket.

Meanwhile, Woo-jin felt like he was going crazy.

‘Then why did you two date in the future?’

Even though it wasn’t something he had actually done, he felt like he knew the answer to Jae-chan’s question.

He felt he could see clearly as if looking into a transparent fish tank, why his future self, whom he didn’t want to acknowledge as himself, had made such a choice. As if he had actually reflected on his own thought process.

“…No, there’s no need to apologize.”

After a silence, Woo-jin decided to be honest. Rather than Jae-chan being anxious and apologizing… It was better to confess that he was a worthless person.

“I probably used that person… Guide Nam.”

Woo-jin carefully spoke. He thought it was inappropriate to keep mentioning a third party in their relationship, but it was unavoidable.

“You saw the experiment contents.”

Woo-jin was referring to the high-level Esper production experiments led by the founder of J Pharmaceuticals. Jae-chan nodded slightly at the sudden change of topic, and Woo-jin’s voice continued.

“What use is artificially producing S-class Espers if there’s no means to control them?”

It was useless to create powerful Espers if they couldn’t be controlled. So, the J Pharmaceuticals research team artificially taught weaknesses to control even the most powerful Espers. From infancy.

Woo-jin calmly explained this process to Jae-chan.

“The existence of a mother is an artificially implanted control method for me.”

The weaknesses of produced Espers, including Woo-jin, were literally cultivated. ‘Incubated’. The process even included brainwashing by psychic Espers. According to a bribed researcher, each child’s weakness was designated differently according to their innate nature. For some, it was material things, for others, fear of animals, and for Woo-jin, the existence of a ‘mother’ was adopted as an appropriate control method.

“I’ve been sick of seeing that photo since I was young.”

After training, when receiving meals. During rest times. Whenever he had even a slightly positive experience, he had to look at that photo. He heard stories drilled into his ears about how much his mother loved him, and how unlike other siblings, he was born from his mother’s affection.

At one point, he really blindly worshipped the existence of a mother. Even now, due to the influence of professional suggestions he was exposed to from birth, he couldn’t deny feeling a sense of stability when seeing that photo. However-

“Actually, it’s been quite a while since I broke free from the control of ‘mother’.”

He didn’t want his father, Go Young-chang, or Director Yoon Seo-mi to realize this. Woo-jin wanted them to mistakenly believe they still held his leash.

“You asked if I remember the Mentosa Island incident. At that time, Director Yoon Seo-mi told me. That my birth mother was still alive and in the Siren Village.”

Jae-chan’s gaze lifted briefly. Indeed, he remembered being slightly puzzled when he heard that Woo-jin had single-handedly invaded the Siren Village, thinking it was uncharacteristic behavior. Woo-jin’s explanation continued.

“At first, I was really furious, like my concept of ‘mother’ was exerting a powerful force over me. But then I calmed down, to the extent I could control it.”

Woo-jin was able to control his emotions sufficiently when Yoon Seo-mi mentioned his mother. However, he shouldn’t have revealed that fact.

“If I had acted rationally, I would have aroused Director Yoon’s suspicion in many ways.”

Yoon Seo-mi wouldn’t have stopped there. She would have also raised Chairman Go Young-chang’s suspicions, whispering that Woo-jin might be harboring an unleashed fighting dog.

“But… you said that in your future, they never fully revealed Director Yoon’s connection to the terrorist organization, right?”

The current Yoon Seo-mi was cornered, with her connections to the terrorists behind the bomb planting incident, as well as the Universal Park and Han Roy incidents, exposed. At the time, Jae-chan had pinpointed the location of the ledger detailing Yoon Seo-mi’s dealings with the Black Shadow Group hidden in the Terra Art Museum, pushing her to the edge. The recent District 5 terror incident had thrown her off the cliff entirely.

However, in Jae-chan’s future, they couldn’t prove that Yoon Seo-mi had been supporting terrorist groups. Go Woo-jin would have had to engage in a drawn-out power struggle with her, as she continued trying to harm him. If he had discovered Nam Hae-sol, who resembled his mother, in that situation…

“Probably the ‘me’ of that future…”

Woo-jin could guess what choice he would have made to keep Yoon Seo-mi in check.

“I would have pretended to be in a relationship with Guide Nam Hae-sol, with her cooperation. To avoid suspicion from Chairman Go and to lower Director Yoon’s guard.”

Woo-jin confessed to being a shameless and inadequate person who would have used an innocent guide like Nam Hae-sol.

It was frustrating even as he said it. Why should he feel ashamed for a crime he didn’t commit?

Yet he continued his confession, caught in a mix of emotions—he couldn’t deny that his future self, without Jae-chan by his side, might have done just that.

“You mentioned earlier that I had given her a dress as a gift.”

Maybe it was because that future self was indeed him. Woo-jin could understand all too well why he’d chosen that mint-colored dress that Jae-chan had seen.

“I would have tried to make it resemble the photo of my mother and Guide Nam as much as possible. To appear like a child still unable to escape his mother’s influence.”

Listening to Woo-jin’s words, Jae-chan suddenly recalled the phrase ‘feigned cowardice’. A courageous person might act like a coward. The pre-regression Woo-jin pretended to be concerned with small fears, like a child scared of thunder, thereby lowering his enemies’ guards.

“I admit that seeing the face of my biological mother brings comfort. But I could never have loved her as a romantic partner.”

Woo-jin couldn’t be sure if Jae-chan understood his words or not. He kissed Jae-chan’s small chin. He pressed his lips firmly against Jae-chan’s soft lips that still had no answered, then pulled away and asked:

“Could you date someone who resembles your family members? …Do all this with them?”

As he slipped his hand under the blanket and asked, Seon Jae-chan’s eyes trembled slightly. Woo-jin brushed his lips against the thin, quivering left eyelid not covered by the eye patch, trying to touch the warm, moist inner part. Jae-chan gently pushed his hand away. Woo-jin complied and withdrew his hand, only embracing Jae-chan’s waist again.

Now it was Woo-jin’s turn to ask.

“What about you? Have you dated anyone before?”

No matter how much Jae-chan had confessed to liking the future version of him, given the story of Guide Nam Hae-sol, with whom he had pretended to be in a relationship for years, it was clear that the future ‘Go Woo-jin’ and Seon Jae-chan were not lovers.

So, did Jae-chan have a lover?

He recalled how experienced Jae-chan seemed in bed. Just the thought of someone else spending nights with him, even though Woo-jin didn’t know their face, sparked a smoldering jealousy. But like a well-trained hunting dog, Woo-jin hid his hostility and waited for Jae-chan’s answer.

“No. You’re the first person I’ve ever dated in my entire life.”

Jae-chan, still struggling to process the unexpected and overwhelming information, answered robotically. Feeling a fragile satisfaction, Woo-jin posed the next important question.

“Then what was our relationship like?”

“…?”

“I’m asking what our relationship was like in the future you came from.”

A moment of silence passed between them.