86

    Even if Ha-gyeom was given a private room, the fact remained that the only truly safe place here was his room. Among the espers in District 0, there were very few who were free from restraints, and Baek Sa was one of them. That meant, in this place, he could say or do anything he pleased.

    In other words, this was the only place where one could expose their true self, hidden beneath layers of their shell. Ha-gyeom, who had quickly grasped that fact, responded.

    “Then, at least in this room… can’t you be the person you used to be?”

    He had said he could call him Baek Sa forever, yet here he was, sounding vulnerable again. Despite that, his voice was so impossibly soft that Baek Sa’s ears turned red without fail. Baek Sa brushed back Ha-gyeom’s sweat-drenched hair and, with an unusually gentle gaze, asked, “What do you mean?”

    “Are you sure you won’t get confused?”

    Ha-gyeom looked utterly drained, but he nodded quickly, as if he had been waiting for the question.

    “I’m sure.”

    Even though Baek Sa was certain he wouldn’t be able to manage it, for some reason, he didn’t feel like arguing. As he gazed steadily into Ha-gyeom’s trembling eyes, he buried his nose against the long line of Ha-gyeom’s neck. The sweat clinging to him made everything sticky, but there wasn’t even a hint of discomfort.

    For a brief moment, he followed the sensation of the vaguely comforting scent of skin. Was it truly so repulsive to revisit the Baek Seung-woo of the past in front of this child—this person who could summon even the parts of himself he thought he had completely forgotten?

    After a day filled with witnessing, ignoring, and ultimately turning a blind eye to the endless denials and cruelty of the world, why did breathing in this child’s scent and holding him bring such profound relief? Could it be because this boy was the only one who could recall even a trace of the Baek Seung-woo who once shone with a sense of justice?

    A time when, even in a ruined world, there had been someone worth protecting.

    A time when saving a single life felt like saving an entire universe….

    The vague sensations that had always been elusive surged like a powerful current, overwhelming and unstoppable. Baek Sa couldn’t continue speaking; instead, he wrapped Ha-gyeom’s damp body in his arms with a force that seemed like it might crush him. Since coming to this place, everything he had faced had turned to ash, and the days when he had been indifferent even to the light that could brighten him came flooding back.

    The pounding of Ha-gyeom’s heart against his own suddenly felt almost unbearable. As though he might suffocate from the mere heat trapped between their bodies, he was on the verge of being overwhelmed when a soft touch followed. Trembling fingers slid from the back of his head to the nape of his neck, as though they were tracing his entire being. The faint breaths brushing against his ear felt as sacred as the breath of life itself, reviving deadened nerves and sending a tingling, fiery sensation through him.

    It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

    Naturally, he couldn’t move at all.


    1. Underground Kingdom

    On his first night moving from Baek Seung-woo’s room to the dormitory, fourteen-year-old Ha-gyeom was consumed with anxiety. Not only did he feel the sharp gazes of the other children, who were in the same situation but hadn’t received Baek Seung-woo’s care, but he also struggled with being a broken person who couldn’t fall asleep alone without him. The moment he lay down on the new bed, his heart pounded so wildly that it was unbearable.

    After lights out, he spent an hour under the blanket, desperately trying to sleep, but it was no use. Still, he didn’t want the other kids to find out that he was still dealing with such issues. Getting caught up in gossip would be a hassle, and above all, he couldn’t bear the thought of tarnishing Baek Seung-woo’s reputation in any way.

    Two hours passed, and his body was drenched in sweat. He was certain he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all that night. While it would affect tomorrow’s schedule, he felt he could endure that much. However, as the night grew deeper, memories of the past kept surfacing, and the waves of anxiety flowing through his body became impossible to bear.

    Though some kids were snoring, the room—shared by about twenty others—was relatively quiet. In the end, Ha-gyeom slipped out of his assigned bed, moving like a sleepwalker as he slowly turned the doorknob of the dormitory.

    The quiet, dark hallway was dimly lit by a single faint bulb. Even though it was a cramped space, it felt brighter and less stifling than inside the dorm. Ha-gyeom sat on a bench in front of the dormitory, hugging his knees and pressing down on his trembling legs. If the dormitory supervisor caught him, he’d probably get scolded, but since he was sitting right by the dorm entrance, he figured he wouldn’t be warned for leaving.

    You have to make it through this. He repeated the thought over and over, trying to pass the time. Then, he heard footsteps approaching from the distant hallway. Ha-gyeom quickly folded his recently lengthened legs and shrank into himself, watching the corridor as if holding his breath.

    As the footsteps drew closer, his vision suddenly went white.

    ‘Shin Ha-gyeom.’

    Baek Seung-woo appeared, looking as though he’d just finished his day and taken a shower. He held a towel in his hand, having just pulled it down from around his neck, and approached the bench with his sharp eyes fixed on Ha-gyeom. Feeling utterly insignificant for not being able to endure even the first night and ending up here, Ha-gyeom dropped his head in shame.

    As expected, Baek Seung-woo didn’t scold him with a “Why can’t you even manage this?” Instead, he sat down next to him, radiating the lingering warmth of hot water from his recent shower. Ha-gyeom glanced at his clear skin, which made his striking features even more radiant, and instinctively crumpled the fabric of his pants in his hands.

    “Can’t sleep?”

    Baek Seung-woo asked casually, as if he didn’t already know better than anyone what Ha-gyeom’s symptoms were. That refreshingly simple question made Ha-gyeom nod just as simply in response.

    “It’s just a little stifling. But why are you here, hyung…?”

    “Thought I’d check in, just in case. It’d be boring to be alone, right?”

    “It’s not because you don’t trust me, is it?”

    “I trust you. Why wouldn’t I?”

    Turning slightly toward Ha-gyeom, Baek Seung-woo reached out with his large hand and gently patted the back of his head. Ha-gyeom reflexively scratched at his nape, but when his hand brushed against Baek Seung-woo’s, he flinched in surprise.

    …What was that? Was it like getting shocked by electricity?

    The spot where they touched ached with a tingling sensation, as if it had been electrified. Ha-gyeom’s heart, already racing due to his anxiety, now felt like it was about to explode, as if he had been sprinting at full speed. His face burned, turning red in an instant as though it had caught fire, and his mind grew hazy to the point where he didn’t dare meet Baek Seung-woo’s gaze.

    When Baek Seung-woo rubbed the back of his neck, Ha-gyeom grew uneasy, wondering if the heat radiating from his hand would transfer to him. The anxiety that had dominated his mind and body now shifted to a new focus, making falling asleep seem like a trivial problem in comparison. Ha-gyeom barely managed to open his eyes and, feeling a little drained, let out a sigh as he leaned back against the bench.

    Every small movement he made felt overwhelming with Baek Seung-woo’s presence looming so heavily in his thoughts. Yet, as if nothing had happened, Baek Seung-woo naturally pulled his hand away and simply looked at him with calm eyes. Whether he had noticed Ha-gyeom’s unease or not was impossible to discern. Ha-gyeom forced a sheepish smile, trying to mask his discomfort.

    At that moment, Baek Seung-woo’s previously serene gaze flickered, shifting slightly from side to side for the first time.

    “……”

    “……”

    The brief disturbance quickly subsided, and since Ha-gyeom wasn’t particularly adept at reading other people’s emotions, he couldn’t decipher what that fleeting reaction meant. The air between them grew awkward. Such moments were rare when it was just the two of them, leaving Ha-gyeom slightly unsettled.

    “You’ll adapt eventually. You’re grown up now, after all,” Baek Seung-woo finally said, breaking the silence.

    Ha-gyeom nodded in agreement. As long as he stayed within the Center, none of his fears would ever become reality. He knew very well that even without Baek Seung-woo’s care, he wouldn’t face any immediate life-threatening danger or unbearable suffering.

    “I trust you, but I still worry. I’m your brother, after all.”

    As always, Baek Seung-woo didn’t place the blame on Ha-gyeom but instead found fault with himself.

    “That’s why I came. But starting tomorrow, I won’t come anymore.”

    Although Baek Seung-woo was usually composed, in that moment, it was clear he also felt some measure of unease, and Ha-gyeom found unexpected comfort in that. Ha-gyeom nodded as he stared at Baek Seung-woo’s profile. Crossing his arms, Baek Seung-woo narrowed his eyes playfully, casting a teasing glance his way. As always, things were calm and steady in his presence, so Ha-gyeom responded with a quiet smile.

    Time passed. Although Ha-gyeom hadn’t kept track of it, Baek Seung-woo stayed by his side for what must have been well over two hours. Despite saying he wouldn’t come again starting tomorrow, Baek Seung-woo returned every night for a week, then for two weeks.

    Their conversations were mostly trivial, and one night they even got caught by the dorm supervisor. Still, in his own way, Baek Seung-woo provided steady care for yet another week.

    Three weeks later, when lights-out came around once more, Ha-gyeom, overwhelmed by fatigue, crawled into bed with heavy, drooping eyes for the first time in a long while. His vision blurred as if his eyelids were weighed down, and his body felt like it was soaked and sluggish. It felt as though he’d only blinked once, but when he opened his eyes again, the room was as bright as noon.

    That’s when he realized he had slept soundly through the night. He scrambled out of bed and ran outside, only to find that dawn had already broken and the bench was empty.

    “……”

    Whether Baek Seung-woo had come the night before or not, Ha-gyeom was struck by the sudden realization that their nightly meetings on that bench had come to an end.

    It was only the first step. He had finally managed to sleep on his own, so he should have felt proud. Yet, instead, an overwhelming sense of loss seeped into his heart, and Ha-gyeom found himself bedridden with melancholy for several days.

    🌸 Hello, lovely! If you’d like to support me, feel free to check out my Ko-fi! 🌷💕

    Note

    This content is protected.