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    Loves Balance

    61

    It was undeniable that the guiding on the bed had been confused with sex. Shin Ha-gyeom’s face flushed with heat. However, his voice dropped low.

    “Whether it was guiding or not, it doesn’t matter to you, does it? Either way, the levels have risen as much as the matching rate, and besides… it wasn’t something I could choose to guide you in the first place.”

    Becoming Baek Sa’s dedicated guide was due to being dragged to Zone 0 and having an inexplicably high matching rate. Even if Baek Sa wasn’t connected to Baek Seung-woo, there would have been no other choice.

    “Moreover, even if what we did wasn’t guiding… what difference does it make? It’s not like I’m the only one who got what I wanted.”

    As Ha-gyeom spoke with deliberate clarity, the pressure intensified. He glared at Baek Sa, his hostility obvious. It was frustrating how Baek Sa could exert such power without even trying.

    “It’s heavy and it hurts…!”

    As Ha-gyeom repeatedly pushed and scratched at Baek Sa’s firm shoulders, Baek Sa whispered with a contemplative expression.

    “So the reason you got excited under me was….”

    “…I wasn’t particularly excited.”

    “Whether it was because of sex or guiding, should I take it to mean that you don’t care either way?”

    Confusion swept over Ha-gyeom. He couldn’t recognize Baek Sa and Baek Seung-woo as the same person, yet he still often confused the two, and sometimes he was even stimulated by the opposing dynamics they embodied.

    No matter how much he was controlled, he could act as he pleased in front of Baek Sa. On the other hand, in front of Baek Seung-woo, he couldn’t even relax while just breathing.

    The fact that he was so aroused he forgot about guiding was neither because Baek Sa was solely Baek Sa, nor because he saw him only as Baek Seung-woo. Ha-gyeom hesitated, unable to push the image of Baek Seung-woo out of his mind.

    “…Yeah. It’s not that difficult.”

    He then quickly tried to act cool before he looked too pathetic. While Baek Sa’s eyebrow twitched, Ha-gyeom pointed with his finger beyond the wall.

    “Just look at Dr. Park and Yeo Jin-joo. Even in a place like this… it doesn’t seem like they’re distinguishing much between guiding and sex.”

    “Ha….”

    Unlike Baek Sa, Ha-gyeom found it embarrassing to utter the word “sex” in front of him. Still, he thought he’d given a fairly logical response, but Baek Sa just sighed as if he couldn’t believe it.

    Baek Sa loosened his hold and lowered his upper body further. Though the force holding him down had subsided, Ha-gyeom was still trapped within his arms.

    “I’ve never been particularly interested in other people’s personalities.”

    “Your personality isn’t that ordinary either.”

    Even though Baek Sa didn’t seem intent on overpowering him, Ha-gyeom was still very aware of his solid thighs. As he belatedly recognized the subtle sensations, he averted his gaze. While he was momentarily distracted, Baek Sa’s fingertips touched the hair that had grown a bit longer on Ha-gyeom’s forehead.

    “I’m questioning you, not trying to silence you.”

    “…What do you mean?”

    Ha-gyeom frowned as he asked, and Baek Sa brushed his bangs back and tapped his forehead.

    “I mean exactly what I said.”

    Then, his hand moved to Ha-gyeom’s chest.

    “I’m curious about this. I never intended to fight with a kid 10 years younger than me.”

    At the softened tone, Ha-gyeom suddenly felt his ears tingle. He reflexively touched the area around his ear as he retorted.

    “…Then you should’ve said it nicely. How could I respond kindly when you act like a villain?”

    “Who made you get so worked up? You can’t belittle guiding, but it’s okay to belittle sex?”

    “What…!”

    “Then stop looking at me like you’re about to lose your mind from confusion.”

    “…….”

    “You’re the one who said it wasn’t that difficult.”

    Ha-gyeom flinched at Baek Sa’s sharp remark. Every time he saw him, Ha-gyeom felt a tumult inside, as if he couldn’t hide his turmoil. Especially when they were physically close….

    “What’s so unfair, and what’s so complicated?”

    Baek Sa wasn’t wrong. Ha-gyeom was frustrated that Baek Seung-woo didn’t recognize him, and he was going mad trying to deal with Baek Sa, who was both him and not him. But Ha-gyeom wasn’t the only one whose actions didn’t match their words.

    “You said you’re not trying to silence me? Then why did you kill that man….”

    Ha-gyeom couldn’t finish his sentence. No matter how inexperienced he was, he couldn’t be unaware of why Baek Sa had killed the man. It was more about showing Ha-gyeom what would happen than merely lecturing him.

    And yet Baek Sa claimed he wasn’t trying to silence him…. As Ha-gyeom looked at him with unconcealed defiance, Baek Sa’s eyes instantly grew cold.

    “If this is going to be a repetitive conversation, let me make it clear.”

    Despite his cold gaze, Baek Sa’s warm hand slid along Ha-gyeom’s cheek and chin. His fingers trailed up from Ha-gyeom’s chin to his lips, pressing down on the lower lip with a firm touch.

    “You’re beautiful.”

    The unexpected words made Ha-gyeom’s eyes tremble involuntarily.

    “But you’re not someone I’ll compromise with. The only place we’re going to compromise is on the bed. Make sure you remember that clearly.”

    Baek Sa tapped Ha-gyeom’s temple as he issued another warning. The words that Ha-gyeom had hoped to hear from Baek Seung-woo ended as words from Baek Sa. The rudeness of it all made Ha-gyeom’s brow furrow deeply.

    “Not someone to compromise with? Then at least try to understand me. Not as a highly compatible Esper and guide, but as a person.”

    Ha-gyeom didn’t want to compromise with him; he just wanted to be treated as a person with thoughts and feelings. The understanding that Baek Seung-woo would have naturally given, Ha-gyeom had to demand from Baek Sa himself, which only added to his confusion….

    Baek Sa’s eyes flashed with renewed interest as Ha-gyeom refused to back down. Seeing those eyes that, despite their coldness, still left room for possibilities, Ha-gyeom couldn’t hold back the words he had suppressed for so long.

    “Do you really want to know why I collapsed after watching that man die? Why I obediently followed your orders despite not agreeing with your operation? Why last night, I mistook you for my hyung?”

    At the moment the word hyung escaped his lips, Ha-gyeom didn’t miss the brief flicker in Baek Sa’s eyes. Though he didn’t know what kind of emotions that word evoked in him, Ha-gyeom felt certain that he didn’t need to stop here.

    “You just said it yourself. You’re curious about what’s in here,” he said, pointing first to his head and then to his chest.

    With that, Ha-gyeom’s hand slipped between their chests, moving downward. His hand trailed from his heated sternum and abdomen down to the center, where it softly encircled Baek Sa’s still semi-hard member.

    “Is it just because of this that you’re spouting all this nonsense?”

    As Ha-gyeom openly stroked the shaft, Baek Sa’s lips curled into a smile. It was a different smile from Baek Seung-woo’s—one that wasn’t entirely kind—but it made Ha-gyeom involuntarily hold his breath.

    Baek Sa glanced down at the space between their tightly pressed bodies and replied.

    “Interesting.”

    “Answer me.”

    Ha-gyeom urged, barely letting Baek Sa finish speaking. He expected mockery or contempt in response, but instead, Baek Sa pulled Ha-gyeom’s hand off his member and pressed it down against the floor, pinning his other hand as well.

    “You wouldn’t know, but I’ve never particularly enjoyed having conversations with other guides.”

    Baek Sa’s hand intertwined with Ha-gyeom’s, his arm, twice as thick, easily covering Ha-gyeom’s. Their bodies, now even more closely pressed together, radiated heat. Ha-gyeom bit his lower lip, waiting for what Baek Sa would say next.

    “I think I’m being quite kind to you, considering.”

    “Ugh…!”

    Ha-gyeom couldn’t even respond as Baek Sa abruptly kissed him. The skill with which he entwined their fingers and naturally spread Ha-gyeom’s legs left him defenseless once again.

    Without any chance to catch his breath, Baek Sa’s tongue invaded his mouth. This kiss was nothing to be scared of. Refusing it would only make him seem weak, so Ha-gyeom accepted it willingly. He swallowed the saliva that flowed down his throat and endured the pain of his lips being harshly rubbed, suppressing his groans.

    Eventually, his breathing became labored, and veins stood out on his neck. Just as he reached his limit, Baek Sa broke the kiss and whispered with a growl.

    “And, in case you’re mistaken, I haven’t even satisfied half of my desires yet.”

    “…….”

    “It means I’m holding back. A lot.”

    As Baek Sa straightened up and sat on his knees, he pointed with a glance to his bulging center. Though covered by his combat uniform, the menacing size was still visible, sending a chill down Ha-gyeom’s spine.

    “If this had been the issue from the start….”

    Baek Sa’s hand suddenly reached out, gripping the inside of Ha-gyeom’s thigh. With his face flushed red, Ha-gyeom endured the pressure lifting his thigh and the blatant gaze directed at his rear.

    “You’d already be too broken to do any guiding.”

    Ha-gyeom didn’t immediately grasp what exactly Baek Sa meant by being “too broken.” He blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend. Quickly wiping the saliva from his lips, he looked up, still on edge.

    Baek Sa’s expression briefly faltered before he added.

    “It’s fine to act as you please. But don’t think about stepping outside my boundaries.”

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