M 100

A warm breeze blew gently through the open window. Despite it being night, the sky was remarkably clear. The gray clouds, stretched out as if syrup had been spilled, flowed in a way that made even the thumbnail-sized moon floating in the sky clearly visible. Even the sound of insects chirping on this summer night in the 5th star system had such charm.

Sehwa sat leaning against the bed’s headboard, gazing intently at the hologram of his Saessak that he had received today. It was an ultrasound image of the baby, now much bigger than when he last saw it but still bean-like, and a growth projection image that still resembled him exactly.

Saessak’s heart always beats vigorously. He loved the sound of it racing quickly, as if eager to grow. Every time he looked at it trying to form a human shape by diligently rounding its tiny body not even a hand-span long… he found it unbearably adorable.

At first, he said he would get rid of it, and later he always started with denial saying he wasn’t sure, but in truth, from the moment he first heard that delicate heartbeat, his heart was completely stolen by Saessak. He just wanted to cherish it preciously, to the point where he felt sorry for only now admitting it.

But the image of Saessak in today’s hologram was utterly miserable. He couldn’t believe its slow and depressed pulsing, at first thinking the device must be broken.

Saessak showed almost no movement. The baby in the growth projection had also lost its rosy complexion and had its eyes tightly shut.

Lieutenant Na, who examined him, couldn’t even offer empty words of comfort and just told him to rest well. Should he be relieved that there were still no signs of miscarriage?

After that, Sehwa endlessly stroked his belly. He couldn’t even call out “Saessak” because he felt so sorry. He worried that he might be bothering the tired baby who just wanted to rest.

As he sat there like a still life, Sergeant Major Choi would bring him meals without being asked. Needless to say, nothing appealed to him. No, the thought of any food just made him nauseous. It wasn’t that he was stubbornly refusing, he really had no appetite at all.

If it weren’t for Sergeant Major Choi’s earnest plea that he needed to eat something for the medicine to work and for the baby to be healthy, he would have just starved himself.

He managed to swallow a few spoonfuls of porridge, vomiting several times, and took one permitted treatment pill… Sehwa spent the rest of the time alone until nightfall. On the spacious bed big enough for several people, only an unlocked collar lay empty beside him.

In the center of the custom-made bed’s headboard was a menacing black stake, with a chain attached to it that connected to the ring on the thing Sehwa had been wearing.

When he first put this around his neck yesterday without properly checking it, he thought it was extremely heavy. But now that he actually saw it, it was thinner than he expected and not that heavy.

He still wasn’t sure what material it was made of. It didn’t seem to be just a lump of iron…. In any case, it did feel like considerable effort had gone into crafting it. If it weren’t for the large ring prominently placed on the back, one could almost insist it was an ordinary necklace. Even the long trailing chain was beautiful on the surface.

But Ki Tae-jeong used this glittering object like a dog collar. He locked it in front of people and literally dragged him around like a dog. In such circumstances, what did it matter what this object looked like or how much it was worth? To ki Tae-jeong, he was not a person but merely an animal.

Sehwa stared blankly at the necklace for a while before losing interest and resting his forehead on his raised knees.

When he briefly regained consciousness last night, he was dumbfounded to see that he had even attached the chain, but amusingly, when he woke up again after another nap, all the restraints had been removed. He was startled and felt around beside him, but there were no signs that anyone had been lying there. It seemed like someone had just come in while he was sleeping, unlocked what was choking his neck, and tossed it aside in their own way before leaving.

What could it mean? To put such a dreadful thing around his neck, then sneak in while he was sleeping to remove it and leave. Yet not completely removing that terrifying stake and objects….

Sehwa wiggled his still uncomfortable right foot. The good medicine he had taken was improving his condition, but as Lieutenant Na had warned, while his body was getting better, his mind still didn’t know which direction to go and kept stumbling.

Even though he had been dragged here like this, he had tried not to give in easily. He had been determined to do even worse things than when he had urged Ki Tae-jeong to drink the sleeping pills when the opportunity arose. But… the moment he mentioned Saessak, all his motivation disappeared.

Instead, his mind was filled with problems he had never considered before. He had forgotten, but Ki Tae-jeong was still the biological father of Saessak. Even if he became the adopted child of General Oh Seon-ran, it wouldn’t remove his parental rights. Even after the trial was over, if things went wrong, he could take Saessak away from him.

If he insisted on confining Saessak to the 4-Star system and making it struggle at the bottom of society as he had… What should he do then?

As he was tracing the knot of the bandage with his eyes, pondering these unanswerable questions, suddenly there was the sound of a doorknob turning. Sehwa instinctively shrank back. Given the time and everything else… the only person who could so casually open the door to this most private space would naturally be the owner of this official residence.

“…”

Indeed, the large shadow cast in the doorway was so familiar that he felt he could draw it with his eyes closed. The shape of the combed-back hair, the silhouette of the clothes he wore… everything about the man had become all too familiar to Sehwa.

Ki Tae-jeong stood still for a moment with his hand on the doorframe. Maybe it was because he was backlit by the sensor light in the hallway, but today the man’s figure felt even more threatening than usual. The bedroom was eerily quiet, so even the tiniest breath he exhaled when he seemed about to say something resonated clearly.

After a while, Ki Tae-jeong moved his steps unhesitatingly as if nothing had happened. As if his earlier hesitation had been a mistake, as if he wasn’t even conscious of his presence, he headed straight for the bathroom attached to the bedroom.

Only after hearing the heavy uniform fall to the floor with a thud, and then the sound of water hitting the floor, did Sehwa snap to attention.

There must have been a reason he confined him to the bedroom rather than a storage-like place. Why would someone who had run away after being given strong sleeping pills let his rest comfortably on a nice bed? It was obvious – after he finished showering, Tae-jeong would embrace him. Sehwa felt pathetic for only now realizing this.

“…Ah.”

Sehwa breathed heavily, cupping his hands. Even though it was just a sigh, his throat that made a sound for the first time today felt stiff as if it was burning. But this pain was nothing compared to what Ki Tae-jeong was about to do.

Previously, he hadn’t engaged in penetrative sex for the sake of his body, but now the situation had changed. Ki Tae-jeong wanted to hurt him. Now that everything had been exposed, there was no need for unnecessary hypocrisy… He might even force penetration this time. He would likely try to fully satisfy his pent-up desires while keeping him on a leash like a dog.

Sehwa would be fine with being hit. As long as he didn’t kick his stomach, he didn’t care if he broke his wrists or ankles again, but… Ki Tae-jeong knew exactly which point to target to make Sehwa crumble. If he didn’t do as he said, he might threaten Saessak this time.

His own emotions weren’t the priority. The thought of just opening his body to receive him, and eventually sobbing that it felt good… It was painfully suffocating even to imagine, but he didn’t care as long as Saessak was okay.

Chanting that he was his fuck toy or hole? Saying shameful and obscene things? He could do all of that. But… he wanted to avoid at all costs anything irreversible happening to the barely alive Saessak due to deep penetration.

Sehwa shook his wrists where the swelling had gone down. They still tingled but he could move them. His ankle wasn’t completely healed yet, but he thought he could kneel. So… should he beg to use his hands or mouth instead?

Or… or should he tell him to hit him until his anger subsides? Ah, what about suggesting they write a contract? Saying that he could do whatever he wanted with him after he gives birth to Saessak, so couldn’t he hold off on sex until then…

After frantically racking his brain, Sehwa fell into deep despair. There was no answer. Why would Ki Tae-jeong bother to listen to him? He could fuck and cum inside him as he pleased even now; he wasn’t the type to consider others’ circumstances and hold back.

‘What should I do?’ 

While Sehwa could think of nothing but that sentence, Ki Tae-jeong walked out of the bathroom. He pressed a button and the cream-colored reading light attached to the headboard turned on… Only then could they see each other.

Ki Tae-jeong was roughly drying his wet hair with a towel. He was wearing only black drawers below, so the prominent movements of his muscles and bones all over his body were fully visible. He said nothing, but Sehwa trembled slightly, needlessly attributing sexual implications to each of the man’s actions.

“…I heard you didn’t eat properly,” Ki Tae-jeong muttered, roughly brushing back his still damp bangs. “That you barely managed some porridge, and threw up most of even that.”

Sehwa bowed his head low and silently endured his gaze. Meanwhile, one side of the mattress sank slightly. Sehwa shrank even more at that weight. Ki Tae-jeong was trying to approach his side, lifting the edge of the blanket.

“You remember I promised to give you a new identity once this is all over, right?”

“……”

“The reason I put your name on the trial despite knowing it would put you in danger was… because I thought it would be better to reveal it since anyone who stirred up this matter would inevitably discover your existence anyway. I thought I could clean up your past actions as well.”

“……”

“If we emphasize throughout the trial that you were a 4-Star system resident who had no choice but to follow the orders of a superior, especially a soldier, we can even get official recognition that your previous illegal activities were not prosecutable.”

Despite saying he would give him the resident certificate for inside the fortress that he had so desperately wanted, and even erase the past he wanted to shake off, Sehwa showed no reaction. Ki Tae-jeong bit his lower lip in impatience, then continued speaking.

“Anyway, you won’t have to be called to the courtroom, so keep that in mind…. General Oh Seon-ran also sent his aide today to notify that they’ve started the adoption procedures.”

Even when he brought up the topic he would be most curious about, all he got in return was silence.

Ki Tae-jeong thought Sehwa would ask various questions once he opened the conversation. He even thought he might cry and shout like yesterday… He didn’t mind either way. He was prepared to continue the conversation somehow, but….

Sehwa remained silent. He didn’t even ask about the whereabouts of Aunt Song. With his eyes darkened and lifeless, he just stubbornly stared at his own feet.

The afterimage of his softly smiling and whispering “Saessak” yesterday lingered. He hadn’t expected him to show such a gently melted attitude, but getting no response at all left Ki Tae-jeong at a loss as well.

“…Come here for now.”

Though he had managed a few spoonfuls of porridge during the day, Sergeant Major Choi said even that had not been easy. There was no need to hear Lieutenant Na’s opinion. Even at a glance, Sehwa’s condition didn’t look good.

So he intended to hold him in his arms and comfort him for now. To let him breathe a little. Despite everything, Lee Sehwa had only been alive in his arms. He would inhale his scent, relax, and close his eyes in relief. However,

“…Can we not do this?”

Instead, Sehwa stiffened and held Ki Tae-jeong back. Blocking his outstretched arm with his trembling hand, he kept muttering something in a small voice. Cold sweat was even dripping down his forehead and nape.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurting somewhere?”

“S-sex… couldn’t we do it after I safely give birth to the baby…?”

“…What?”

The reflexive question came out before he could properly understand the meaning of his words. A few seconds later, when Ki Tae-jeong grasped the meaning of what Lee Sehwa had said, he was dumbfounded. 

“Did you think I was going to hold you down and fuck you even though your body is in this state?”

“Lieutenant Na gave me medicine. So I can use my hands properly now.”

However, Sehwa seemed to interpret Ki Tae-jeong’s question as a denial, and clung to him even more desperately.

“Or… should I suck you off with my mouth? I think that would really be no problem…”

“…Lee Sehwa.”

Ki Tae-jeong looked at Sehwa, who appeared almost dead, with a face as if he had been slapped. No, hadn’t he clearly said before that he was worried about the baby’s position dropping a little, so he wouldn’t do anything like penetration for a while? And he had actually kept to that.

But Sehwa seemed to have forgotten all about that. He was trembling, convinced that Ki Tae-jeong was going to r*pe him at will, that he would end up hurting the child in his womb.

“When I had an ultrasound this morning, the baby’s condition was really not good…”

“……”

“It’s okay if you don’t give me things like a resident certificate.”

“Things like a resident certificate?” Ki Tae-jeong asked again out of disbelief. 

After all, he had endured so stubbornly until now, wanting to become a resident inside the star because he wanted that so badly. It was bewildering to hear Lee Sehwa say “things like a resident certificate.” Lee Sehwa, who valued their child so much that he was willing to give up even that long-held dream, who no longer placed any weight on the promise he had made… he seemed as if he truly placed no meaning in life anymore, and that… became a little frightening.

“I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way… I really meant that I don’t need anything at all…”

Sehwa’s stammering tone resembled the time when he first interrogated him at the house. The childish sulking he had shown only to him, the softly trailing endings of his sentences, were nowhere to be found anymore. All that remained in place of his tears was only fear of him.

“Ah, from now on I won’t threaten you with my body, and like yesterday… I won’t speak at length, and also… I won’t shout.” Lee Sehwa awkwardly knelt down due to the splint on his ankle and kept pleading. No, he was begging. “I’ll… try my best to satisfy you sufficiently with my hands or mouth.”

Sehwa, who had considered the misunderstanding of selling his body more horrifying than anything else, was now offering up his own body to negotiate for one night.

“Please… I beg you…”

Ki Tae-jeong’s coldly frozen fingertips twitched, then clenched his fist tightly, enduring the painful sensation.