M 109

‘ General Oh Seon-ran??’ Sehwa unconsciously stared at Ki Tae-jeong’s watch. Belatedly realizing he may have upset him, he awkwardly lowered his head, but Ki Tae-jeong made no comment. He didn’t sharply tell him to take his medicine like before. 

He simply said, “Just add more security personnel and let them in.”

He casually instructed Lieutenant Park while helping Sehwa up from the cold floor.

– But, Brigadier General…

“There’s nothing to gain by showing hostility towards someone who’s come this far after drawing a line with Colonel Kim.”

– …Yes, understood.

As Lieutenant Park’s voice cut off, the sound of people bustling about could be heard. Perhaps the commotion outside seemed louder because the hospital room was so quiet.

Ki Tae-jeong abruptly picked up Sehwa and sat him on the bed. It happened so quickly he had no chance to refuse.

“I asked why you’re not taking your medicine.”

And surprisingly, instead of scolding him for being happy to see someone else, he continued to press on why he was refusing the medication. Though his domineering aura was still palpable, the direction of his questioning was somewhat unexpected given Ki Tae-jeong’s usual temperament.

“If something’s bothering you, you need to tell me so I can change it.”

“…”

“It’s not like I’m forcing a spoon into your mouth, or making you accept an expensive gift you don’t want.”

“…”

“Don’t you want to get better quickly? That way…”

‘You could take care of the child you love so much.’

Ki Tae-jeong, who had intended to coax and persuade Sehwa without thinking too deeply, realized a beat too late that he had made a mistake. He was about to bring up the child again. It wasn’t his intention to pressure him. He wasn’t trying to threaten him like at the port, but Sehwa might have found it sufficiently intimidating.

But Sehwa didn’t respond. Even though he could surely guess what he was about to say, despite him quickly closing his mouth. It seems unbelievable now that he once cried and angrily asked if it wasn’t his child too.

“…Lee Sehwa.”

Feeling frustrated, Ki Tae-jeong pulled over a nearby stool and sat in front of Sehwa. He was close enough that his shins almost brushed against his body. With nowhere to escape from the man filling his entire field of vision, Sehwa curled up, rounding his back.

“I’m not trying to get angry.”

“…”

“…At first, it’s true I took you lightly, and treated you as Lieutenant Kim’s accomplice. No, even apart from that… I’ve never been serious about anyone before. The idea of taking responsibility? I’ve never even joked about it.”

This was something he had been holding back, constantly gauging the mood. He didn’t want to blurt it out clumsily, so he kept choosing his words carefully, but it seemed he couldn’t delay any longer. He had already missed the timing several times. If things got worse from here, what use would there be in offering a well-polished confession?

Would anything change by saying this now? He wasn’t sure. He had resolved to keep explaining himself until Sehwa accepted it once he was in his right mind, but right now he was refusing even beneficial medicine if it came from him.

But in this situation, there was nothing else he could do. To move that face that had hardened like a mask, he had to do something.

It was a first for him. Entering a battle where victory wasn’t certain, even thinking it wouldn’t matter if he lost….

He just wanted Lee Sehwa to show any reaction at all. Rather than that blank, dazed expression, he’d prefer if he cried or got angry.

“Yes, it’s true I’ve treated you harshly before… but you already know.” Ki Tae-jeong gently placed his hand over the back of Sehwa’s. “That you’ve become my only exception.”

“…”

“About the video… it’s a misunderstanding. It’s true I embraced you knowing there were CCTVs, but I never installed equipment with the aim of getting leverage on you.”

However… on this topic, he could only tell a half-truth. It wasn’t that he was trying to casually deceive Lee Sehwa for his own peace of mind this time. Though he might see this as an excuse too if he knew, Ki Tae-jeong didn’t want to shock someone who had closed off their heart and couldn’t even speak. It didn’t seem right.

It was true that he had thought having a record of Sehwa enjoying himself while having sex with him would prevent anyone from calling it coercion. But as he had hurriedly explained just before Sehwa collapsed, installing CCTVs was standard procedure when occupying a facility. He had simply put the entire house under surveillance in case any of Lieutenant Kim’s people showed suspicious movement. It wasn’t a plan targeting Sehwa from the start.

Though he was the only one who knew about and could access this server, such details wouldn’t matter to Sehwa.

“So I…”

Ah. Ki Tae-jeong swallowed hard and closed his eyes tightly before opening them again. He felt like he was trapped in a labyrinth with no exit.

He couldn’t casually deceive Sehwa like before, and forcing him was even more impossible. Though he wanted to confess everything truthfully, Sehwa now looked so fragile, as if he might break if touched, that he couldn’t be recklessly honest either.

The lies he had carelessly told in the past had snowballed beyond Ki Tae-jeong’s control, and were now rolling down a slope of their own accord.

“Lee Sehwa. I’m only weak for you.”

“…”

“To the point where I’m practically shouting to everyone that you’re my weakness by staying here at the hospital all this time.”

“…”

“You’ve become the weakness of a monster like me who couldn’t be killed by guns, knives, or any poison.”

For Ki Tae-jeong, this was a confession where he laid all his cards on the table. He had carefully chosen these words after much deliberation, feeling that cliché expressions like “I’m sorry” or “I like you” wouldn’t sound sincere. He also wanted to avoid saying “I like you” casually, as he had done before when mocking Sehwa in the bunker.

Above all, Ki Tae-jeong liked the moments when Sehwa conveyed his feelings weightily without saying “I like you.” Like when he asked if he could call him by name, or when he smiled brightly saying he was glad his hole didn’t seem like a rag to the Brigadier General…. Sehwa often whispered his feelings in a language only he could interpret, and each time, Ki Tae-jeong felt an indescribable sense of fullness.

So he tried to imitate Sehwa’s way in his own manner. He believed Sehwa would understand how significant it was for him to say he was the weakness of someone who couldn’t be killed even if he tried.

But Sehwa remained silent. Even after he had bared his soul, he just waited with a tired expression for what would come next. As if he didn’t believe the conversation could end with just those kind words. He seemed to think he might be about to attach some condition to torment him.

“…”

Ki Tae-jeong’s lips moved slightly. If he had followed his usual nature, he would have been glad when Sehwa lost his memory. He would have pretended not to know anything, treating him well, perhaps even hoping he would never regain his senses. After all, there’s no fresher start than a clean slate.

But Ki Tae-jeong didn’t do that in the end. While he did try to treat the ailing Sehwa well in his own way, he didn’t act as if nothing had happened. As he had boasted when bringing Sehwa back, he didn’t put a leash on him or shackle him.

Of course, he wasn’t trying to appeal to Sehwa by claiming this was a good deed. He wanted to tell him that he had become that weak.

“…Then what do you want me to do?”

The hand touching his twitched slightly.

“What would you like me to do?”

He grasped Sehwa’s index finger and pulled it onto his palm.

“I can do anything for you, so tell me.”

“…”

“Anything except you not wanting to be by my side or hurting your body.”

Sehwa’s lowered eyelashes fluttered slowly. He could almost feel the sensation. The ticklish feeling of his eyelashes brushing against his cheek or eye area during a kiss, the soft rustling sound his eyelashes made against his clothes when he held him tight and he blinked…

“Lee Sehwa.”

When he urged him again to write on his palm if he couldn’t speak, Sehwa finally raised his eyes with difficulty. Then his slender fingers twitched. Ki Tae-jeong stared intently at the movement of his calloused fingertips, not even daring to breathe. Yes, even if it’s cursing, write anything. Say something.

Knock knock.

Just as Sehwa closed his eyes tightly and was about to draw a line on his palm, a polite knock was heard. Already on high alert, he was startled and pulled away from him, and Ki Tae-jeong barely swallowed a curse as he stood up.

“…General Oh Seon-ran?.”

When he opened the door, the expected visitor was standing there. With various items neatly stacked in his arms, he barely managed to step inside. Ki Tae-jeong politely took a few items from the top, finally revealing General Oh Seon-ran’s face.

General Oh Seon-ran?’s face was utterly expressionless as he looked directly at him. However, unable to hide his seething anger, blue veins stood out prominently on his forehead and neck. His fingertips holding the items were white from the force of his grip.

“…Sehwa.”

General Oh Seon-ran? took a deep breath and tried to put on a gentle expression, awkwardly lifting the corners of his mouth. Then, ignoring Ki Tae-jeong, he approached Sehwa directly.

“I heard you regained consciousness, but I had some urgent matters to finish up so I couldn’t come right away. I thought you needed enough rest too….”

Given that he didn’t seem surprised by the lack of greeting or response from Sehwa, he probably knew the general situation… But watching General Oh Seon-ran?’s behavior, he also seemed like someone who knew nothing about what had happened so far.

That’s how well he was hiding his emotions. He didn’t fuss, asking if Sehwa was hurting anywhere or how this had happened. He simply placed the items he had brought next to Sehwa with a calm demeanor.

“I thought you might find paper books more comfortable since you don’t have a tablet. They might be out of fashion since an old person chose them, but….”

The first thing Oh Seon-ran offered was a book on childcare basics. Sehwa, who had been curled up in a different way than when looking at Ki Tae-jeong, opened his eyes wide. He reached out his hand unsteadily to open the book, then craned his neck to look around the bed. It seemed to be the first time since bringing him from 2-Hwan that life returned to Sehwa’s eyes.

“This book explains how a baby grows in an incubator and what processes it goes through… And this one tells you how to care for a newborn after leaving the hospital.”

“…”

“Ah, this book is about postpartum care for mothers, make sure to read it thoroughly and don’t just skim through. Of course, professionals will help you, but there’s a big difference between having some basic knowledge yourself and knowing nothing at all.”

“…”

“You need to be healthy to take care of the baby. Right?”

Sehwa nodded frantically. He even smiled slightly while stroking the pastel-colored book cover depicting a mobile. It was a very faint smile, barely noticeable, but he was definitely smiling.

Ki Tae-jeong stared blankly at Sehwa with a face like he’d been slapped. It was a stark contrast to how he had been with him just moments ago.

“There are many ongoing matters… But hearing too much at once will only give you a headache, so I’ll explain in detail later.”

“…”

“For now, you’ll have your hands full just thinking about your health and the baby.”

Sehwa nodded slightly. It seemed like a gesture to show he was doing his best to respond to Oh Seon-ran’s voice.

Ki Tae-jeong bit his lower lip hard. Though he felt petty for thinking this way, he too had tried to make him take medicine somehow, wanting him to take care of his health first. Of course, he had also planned to take him to that special exhibition event.

But Sehwa was only listening to Oh Seon-ran’s voice. As if he hadn’t heard at all the difficult confession he had made just minutes ago about how nothing but him could kill him, or his promise to do anything for him.

“When we talked on the phone before, you said you didn’t want to trust anyone anymore.”

“…”

“I understand completely. Just think of me as your father’s friend who belatedly throws money around to ease his conscience, just some uncle you know. You just lean on the baby to live. Understood?”

“General Oh Seon-ran?.”

Ki Tae-jeong, feeling he could no longer contain himself, called out to General Oh Seon-ran?

“Let’s talk outside for a moment.”