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There was no sense of relief in simply being able to see and feel him again after his return from training. Every time he caught the shallow rise and fall of Ha-gyeom’s breath, his chest sank again. The anxiety was so overwhelming that even his fingertips trembled as they brushed across his skin.

Even so, as he ran his hand down Ha-gyeom’s smooth waist and gently licked up the sweat-soaked line of his neck, he could feel the heat rising to his own ears. When he gripped Ha-gyeom’s slack thighs and pulled them closer, his penis throbbed painfully from how hard it had become. Unlike his calm mind, his arousal had risen in an instant, and there was no way to cool it down.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d felt shame in the heat surging through his body like flames. Baek Sa let out a quiet, bitter laugh at himself—but didn’t stop. Slowly, he continued to caress Ha-gyeom’s body. The tight pressure of his belt became suffocating, so he undid the buckle and took out his penis. Its head was already slick, and when he rubbed it against Ha-gyeom’s perineum, his chest pounded so hard it felt like it might burst.

“Haa…”

He barely managed to let out a moan before spreading Ha-gyeom’s thighs and groping his private area. Though Ha-gyeom was unconscious and couldn’t feel any pain, he carefully and gently caressed the opening so the muscles wouldn’t tense up.

He slid his finger in and touched the inner walls, but the usual reaction didn’t come. Even if he was only satisfying his own desires, it might have been just as effective as Ha-gyeom guiding him himself. Still, Baek-sa never dared to skip steps or act without restraint, not even when no one was watching. Like meeting a child’s gaze, he kissed his body with utmost care and devotion, gently digging into him more tenderly than ever before.

Gritting his teeth, he exercised as much patience as he could and slowly pushed his penis in. He hadn’t expected anything, knowing Ha-gyeom couldn’t feel anything in this state, but the overwhelming tightness defied that resignation, making it impossible to breathe steadily.

In the past, every time he entered, Ha-gyeom would cling to his neck, but now that desperation was absent, so he filled his desire with memories. Ignoring the phantom sensation of the nape of his neck tingling, he pressed his lips to Ha-gyeom’s tightly closed mouth and pushed in deeper—until a faint moan, like a cat’s whimper, escaped.

But his eyes remained tightly shut. Even when he moved his lips and kissed the soft eyelids, the long lashes only trembled faintly before falling still again.

He hadn’t even moved much inside when the urge to release surged up. Gasping with minimal movement, Baek Sa grabbed Ha-gyeom’s hips and began to move slowly. The area near his navel lifted with each smooth roll of his waist. Watching that sight with eyes now slightly bloodshot, Baek Sa suddenly thrust his hips upward with force.

“Haa… ah…”

The slow, deep movements didn’t last long. Instead of thrusting hard, he came with a low, swallowed moan. As he released the cloudy fluid into the tight inner walls wrapped snugly around his penis, he moved his hips in a slow, circular motion, feeling the inside clench to an almost uncomfortable degree.

It was a body far too sensual to believe it belonged to someone he had once cared for like a child. Even with an almost uncontrollable, destructive urge that surfaced only in bed, he barely held back as he pulled out. From the narrow opening, smaller than a fingertip, sticky semen slowly began to seep out.

“……”

He wet his dry lips as he watched it trickle down the pronounced curve of the tailbone. Overwhelmed by guilt, his flushed ears couldn’t regain their color for a long while.

---

When Ha-gyeom still hadn’t regained consciousness after a week, the weariness on Baek Sa’s face grew heavier by the day. Dr. Cha, who was checking Ha-gyeom’s vitals on the monitor, kept clearing his throat nervously after days of walking on eggshells.

“His internal injuries have definitely improved. It clearly helped, so why hasn’t he woken up yet?”

Baek Sa, who had stayed by Ha-gyeom’s side around the clock, even ignoring orders, was now only able to visit in between his duties. It was only after the sun had set that he finished everything and returned to the lab, freshly showered and looking polished.

Thanks to his naturally striking looks, he still looked presentable, but to Dr. Cha, it was obvious he wasn’t doing well.

“It’s a painkiller. You know it works on the heart too, right?”

A painkiller for an Esper—it was almost laughable. Even so, Baek Sa, his brow deeply furrowed, obediently took the pill and swallowed it without water. The thirst and headaches never stopped. Unlike him, who felt more withered with each passing day, Ha-gyeom remained peacefully asleep, his face calm every single second.

Since Ha-gyeom had arrived here, they had been physically intimate every day, so Baek Sa, as if by routine, took off his T-shirt. Seeing the signal, Dr. Cha also moved with practiced familiarity—he removed Ha-gyeom’s IV and quietly left the room.

Even though it was time to begin, Baek Sa, just for today, didn’t turn off the light right away. Instead, he sat by his side, simply looking at the innocent face fast asleep. The memory of long ago—back when he had rescued this boy from hell and let him sleep in his own bed—resurfaced. Ha-gyeom, tormented in both dreams and waking life.

He wasn’t that small, tear-stained child anymore, but Baek Sa still felt that same aching pain. It had only started with a hand extended to a helpless child. And yet, back then and even now, he couldn’t understand why this boy’s pain felt like it was carving into his own flesh.

…No. Maybe now, he did understand.

Due to the layers of accumulated exhaustion, Baek Sa’s own consciousness was starting to fade. He absentmindedly stroked Ha-gyeom’s cheek for a long time before finally getting up to turn off the light.

Rather than taking off all his clothes, he only pulled up the shirt slightly to expose the abdomen. When he removed the pants, the sight of the painfully thin hips made him sigh without thinking.

Though Ha-gyeom’s internal injuries had greatly improved, the fact that he remained unconscious was an unbearably critical issue for Baek Sa. Because of it, he even prepared a lubricant he usually didn’t use, warming the slick liquid in his hand before gently applying it around the anus.

He pressed soft kisses to Ha-gyeom’s lips, neck, chest, and stomach, then used his hand—slick with lubricant—to briefly stroke his own pnis. Just from watching the parted legs and running his hand over the shaft, he hardened to his limit in an instant.

Baek Sa let out a strained moan. But this kind of reaction from his body was already familiar, something that had happened many times. He wasn’t a guide, so he couldn’t perceive any energetic harmony—but even so, just through close contact and exchanging fluids, Ha-gyeom’s condition was clearly improving.

The act was for Ha-gyeom’s sake—but still, Baek Sa felt a sense of relief from the warmth of his body. At the very least, with Ha-gyeom in his arms and within reach, he could endure it.

He slipped his hand between the sheet and Ha-gyeom’s back, gently tracing the deeply curved spine. Rubbing his pnis repeatedly against the slick perineum, he aligned their lower bodies perfectly. With each motion, he recalled the soft moans Ha-gyeom used to make when it felt good, and he exhaled shakily. Grasping the curve of his waist and the round swell of his backside, Baek Sa moved his hips, and a wave of heat surged through his body.

“Haa…”

Just then, a long sigh was heard. It clearly wasn’t his own. Wondering if it was a hallucination brought on by desperate hope, Baek Sa lifted his head from where it was buried against Ha-gyeom’s neck. Instead of jumping to conclusions, he pressed a kiss to Ha-gyeom’s jaw and cheek, and when he looked at his eyes—he saw the eyelids trembling violently.

“…!”

His heart pounded so hard it felt like it might burst. The limp thigh he had been holding up suddenly tensed, and he felt the faintest twitch of movement in Ha-gyeom’s body. Eyes wide, Baek Sa brought his ear close to Ha-gyeom’s nose and lips to check his breathing. Then, scanning his whole body, he reached for the trembling hand resting on the sheet and pulled it toward him.

“Ha-gyeom.”

Not long after finally speaking the name he had held back for so long—

Ha-gyeom slowly opened his eyes.

Though he must have seen nothing but darkness, he blinked as he looked straight into Baek Sa’s eyes.

Baek Sa, finally realizing what he had been doing to someone who was unconscious, felt a deep flush spread over the back of his neck. And yet, he couldn’t turn away from the sudden rush of joy and relief in those watery eyes finally meeting his.

He leaned in, heart pounding loud enough to echo in his ears, and gently pressed his nose to Ha-gyeom’s. Even as he bit down on Ha-gyeom’s dry lips, feeling the heat of his breath, he didn’t close his eyes—so he could see those trembling, beautiful pupils up close.

As if needing time to comprehend what was happening, Ha-gyeom’s glossy eyes darted around. As if to reveal what he had been doing, Baek Sa pushed a finger into Ha-gyeom’s ass and rubbed the slick perineum with his palm. When he curled his finger upward, Ha-gyeom let out a soft grunt and trembled in the shoulders.

Then, weak arms wrapped around his neck. It was undeniable proof that his worst fear—that Ha-gyeom might have lost his memory—had not come true.

Baek Sa, whose own eyes trembled as intensely as Ha-gyeom’s, quickly pulled his finger out and pressed their bodies together. He thrust his pnis deep into the swollen opening, and Ha-gyeom couldn’t even moan—he just threw his head back.

“…!”