#046

Being treated like a small animal wasn’t exactly pleasant, but Ha-gyeom silently crawled into the blanket. Baek Sa naturally lay down beside him. Lying on his side, Baek Sa casually brushed away Ha-gyeom’s disheveled bangs, causing an unbidden warmth to rise to the back of his neck.

At times, he had an unexpectedly gentle side. Even if he had lost his memory, habits ingrained over many years don’t reset so easily, Ha-gyeom thought.

Although he often acted casually, Baek Sa would suddenly sharpen his attitude, making it impossible to completely relax. Still, the feeling of alienation towards Baek Sa subsided for a moment. Ha-gyeom looked up at him with a gaze that seemed to momentarily see Baek Seung-woo.

The relationship between an esper and a guide was truly strange and ambiguous. Before their hearts could grow closer, their bodies had to be in sync first.

Ha-gyeom was confused because he had never experienced romantic relationships, only feeling affection for someone. Unlike the ease of separating work and private life at the center, everything here was just chaotic.

Perhaps the confusion wasn’t coming from within himself. Even though he knew the Baek Seung-woo hidden under Baek Sa, he should have been a complete stranger to Baek Sa. Yet, it was difficult to tell whether Baek Sa’s relaxed attitude towards reaching out to him was due to being accustomed to guiding, his personality, or a habit from past romantic experiences.

Baek Sa’s eyes, deeper than those of Baek Seung-woo, revealed nothing beyond their dark color. Familiar, yet unfamiliar. Watching the changed Baek Sa always made Ha-gyeom feel like he was at a crossroads of giving up.

Baek Sa, who had been silently staring at him, slowly sat up. He took off his T-shirt and got back under the blanket. Ha-gyeom, who wasn’t used to sleeping without clothes, grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and curled up.

“They say the purification wave resembles its guide.”

Baek Sa’s voice had dropped to a lower tone. Following Baek Sa’s gaze, Ha-gyeom looked at the wave he had created.

The wave was now fairly solid without conscious effort. Its surface glowed blue like the sea under sunlight.

“Resembles its guide?”

He had never thought about it that way. Ha-gyeom looked at Baek Sa with questioning eyes. Then Baek Sa, taking his eyes off the wave, examined Ha-gyeom’s features with a peculiar gaze.

Especially his eyes.

Ha-gyeom had often been told his eyes were as dark as Baek Seung-woo’s, as if they were real brothers. Ha-gyeom belatedly realized that the faint blue tint in Baek Sa’s eyes was due to his wave. He thought that if Baek Sa’s eyes looked like that, his own wouldn’t be much different.

“You mean the wave is pretty?”

“Yeah.”

Baek Sa’s immediate response to what was meant to be a provocative question made Ha-gyeom scowl, though he couldn’t hide his flushed face. Watching Baek Sa quietly wet his lips, Ha-gyeom made the wave’s color disappear out of sheer embarrassment.

“…No way.”

Ha-gyeom spoke curtly and turned his back to Baek Sa. His ears and neck were burning hot. As he was feeling particularly uncomfortable and irritated by this change, Baek Sa’s cool hand touched the back of his neck.

The hand that stroked his straight neck and shoulders eventually invaded under the blanket. Ha-gyeom, with a bewildered face, felt Baek Sa’s hand tightly wrap around his stomach.

“What are you doing?”

“Just following Dr. Cha’s advice.”

Even as Ha-gyeom tossed and turned, Baek Sa firmly pressed his bare chest against Ha-gyeom’s back. Ha-gyeom could feel Baek Sa’s strong heartbeat. His own heart was beating so fast it felt like it could stop at any moment.

“If you can’t handle this much and lose your mind, how will you control your energy in the future?”

The mocking tone in Baek Sa’s voice was unmistakable. But there was nothing Ha-gyeom could do. Having no romantic experience and harboring a one-sided love, it would be stranger if he remained unaffected.

Ha-gyeom responded with a scoff, burying his head deep into the pillow. His body felt as if it was on fire.

---

The morning after spending the night with Baek Sa, Dr. Cha’s reaction was far from satisfying.

“85 percent. Not bad. Not bad at all, but… was this really the best you could do?”

Unlike Baek Sa, who just checked the numbers and left, Ha-gyeom felt obligated to tell Dr. Cha the truth.

“Well, we didn’t have sex together.”

“What? You were hugging each other the whole time and you didn’t have sex?!”

“Damn it. No one said anything about hugging or have sex. You just said we had to be touching somewhere.”

“Is it normal for an esper and guide with such a high matching rate to be in the same room, touching, and not have sex? I get it from you, but what about Baek Sa? Ugh, this is really frustrating.”

Annoyed by Dr. Cha’s accusatory tone, Ha-gyeom impatiently removed the sensors stuck to his body.

“85 percent is already more than enough. Why are you so dissatisfied?”

Growling in a way that wouldn’t back down, Dr. Cha rested his forehead on his hand and shook his head.

“At this rate, if I don’t personally intervene in your cohabitation…”

“Don’t even dream about it. If you try, I’ll beat you up so bad you won’t even have time to get to Baek Sa’s ear!”

Despite Ha-gyeom’s rather threatening words, Dr. Cha, lost in his own world, didn’t respond. Watching him mutter endlessly and lament his situation, Ha-gyeom couldn’t shake off an uncomfortable feeling.

‘Is it strange that we didn’t sleep together?’

Come to think of it, there were plenty of opportunities to move to the next stage. If the kiss had lasted a bit longer, if he hadn’t acted so conspicuously embarrassed in front of Baek Sa, if he hadn’t responded so curtly to his words….

Even if he was constantly confused, he wondered why Baek Sa hadn’t moved to the next step. Baek Sa didn’t need to appease Dr. Cha, and he seemed more than skilled at seducing someone.

They had even gone as far as full insertion before. It was odd. With less than a week until the operation, it would have been more efficient to maximize last night’s performance rather than receiving another guiding session.

“We still have one more chance. You have to do it then. Understand?”

“Whatever. We’ll see how it goes.”

Not believing Baek Sa would call him again, he replied insincerely.

“I’m leaving. Don’t bother me unless it’s really, really important.”

Ignoring Dr. Cha, who was fidgeting anxiously, Ha-gyeom quickly left the infirmary.

Finally alone, he could breathe. Last night, he really couldn’t sleep at all. Even when he turned his back or lay facing the other way, being in Baek Sa’s arms, his breath and body heat were too overwhelming to bear.

With his eyes closed, Baek Sa looked exactly like the Baek Seung-woo of the past. Watching his face, Ha-gyeom spent the night with half-open eyes. Baek Sa didn’t seem to sleep soundly either.

Whenever their eyes seemed about to meet, he quickly looked away, so his half-awake state went unnoticed.

Even though they had already broken up, the warmth of his body lingered. If the warmth that enveloped his body had disappeared, his body should have returned to its usual temperature. Ha-gyeom struggled with his own excessive sensitivity.

Pressing the back of his hand to his heated face, he headed towards the barracks. Passing mercenaries occasionally shot him sharp looks. Even before arriving, he noticed more movement than usual among the mercenaries.

Sensing something unusual, he opened the barracks door and found an atmosphere akin to a funeral. Something must have happened while he was gone. Seeing a guide lying under the covers on the adjacent bed, Ha-gyeom climbed onto his bed with a skeptical look.

Amidst the commotion, several espers’ gazes landed on him. They seemed aware he had spent the night in Baek Sa’s room.

While he could easily ignore their annoyed looks, he couldn’t disregard the guides who were sobbing or wiping away tears. Even if he was usually oblivious, he couldn’t ignore the unusual atmosphere.

“……”

Now that he thought about it, the guide on the adjacent bed occasionally trembled under the covers. Sensing something ominous, Ha-gyeom gently shook his shoulder.

“What happened?”

No matter how many times he asked, there was no answer. Looking around, he saw many guides looking depressed, though not crying.

Ha-gyeom didn’t want to cross the invisible line between espers and guides, but the unusually stern expression on Seo Jae-yul’s face made him cross over and ask.

“Did something happen?”

“Yeah, something did.”