#050

Ha-gyeom stood under the hot stream of water, looking down at his pale, trembling hands. Though the shaking had subsided, his wet hands still lacked any color.

He had grown somewhat immune to seeing monsters die, but witnessing a human’s life extinguish was something he could never get used to. The shock he felt when he saw a boy’s life fade a while back hit him just as hard. The fact that it was practically an execution triggered his long-dormant trauma.

Ha-gyeom’s family had been brutally murdered before his eyes—his mother, father, and even his brother. How could he forget their helpless bodies taking bullets meant for him?

‘I hope your trauma treatment went well.’

It was almost laughable how boldly he had faced Director Kim Hye-jeong, only to be haunted by his family’s last moments. He hadn’t forgotten, and likely never would. He knew this, but admitting his weakness was still difficult.

Since adolescence, he had not experienced a panic attack. He was anxious that he might not even manage his tasks properly, let alone his mission.

“Phew…”

He sighed deeply, running his hands over his body, which had just warmed up from the water’s heat. When he glanced down at the floor, he saw a faint red tint in the pooling water. Although he had washed off all the blood, the sight still made his eyes well up and his stomach churn.

For some reason, tears seemed imminent. When he closed his eyes, the image of the man’s head pierced by a bullet flashed in his mind, causing his heart to sink repeatedly.

He hadn’t found Myeong-yi or his sister, and it was possible they were in danger because of him. The tragedy of Jang Young-jun weighed on his heart, and he was already overwhelmed by Baek Seung-woo’s situation. Tomorrow, he had to leave for a collection mission.

And…

Ha-gyeom glanced towards the shower room door. Baek Sa hadn’t returned yet. However, they needed to engage in proper guiding tonight.

‘What happened to Myeong-yi?’

Questions cascaded one after another.

‘Why did he kill the man?’

Despite the man’s uncontrollable madness, there was no immediate threat to life. Ha-gyeom had subdued him and could have escaped easily.

He remembered the smoke rising from Baek Sa’s gun barrel. His instincts told him that Baek Sa didn’t kill the man to save him. It felt more like a warning or a punishment.

‘You shouldn’t have poked around.’

Even in his fragmented state, Ha-gyeom remembered Tae-seong’s words clearly. If Baek Sa killed the man to control him…

The thought sent chills down his spine, sinking his mood. Such actions were cold-blooded, incomparable even to Baek Seung-woo.

The more he thought about it, the more his body trembled. His heart pounded so hard it felt like it might burst from his chest. He couldn’t bear another horrific attack, so he focused on steadying his breath.

As he groped through his dark consciousness, his eyelids heated up, and tears finally began to fall, washing away with the water. His confused mind refused to calm down.

Creak—

The bathroom door opened, but the sound of the water masked any approaching footsteps.

A rush of cold air entered through the door, but Ha-gyeom didn’t turn his head. He didn’t want to face Baek Sa, didn’t want to guide tonight.

Moreover, he was completely naked. He was too mentally exhausted to worry about his nudity. Still, the approaching presence behind him made his senses tingle.

“Ugh…!”

When a firm hand grasped his waist, Ha-gyeom flinched, startled. To be honest, he was scared. Baek Sa had just killed someone and now intruded on his space without a care.

Baek Sa didn’t stop there. His hand moved up, pressing against Ha-gyeom’s shoulder blades, kneading the stiff muscles in his neck and shoulders.

Ha-gyeom should have pushed him away, but he felt paralyzed, unable to move as if under control. Despite the warm shower, he felt a constant chill. He kept his eyes fixed on the air, helplessly following Baek Sa’s touch.

A sense of foreboding told him that tonight might be forceful, possibly violent. He might try to dominate him, like the other espers. Baek Sa’s touch was gentle, but Ha-gyeom still didn’t fully know him. There was always the possibility of sudden change.

“Why are you being disobedient?”

Baek Sa asked, his body pressed close under the water. He too was completely naked. Feeling his unnerving warmth, Ha-gyeom could only blink in response.

“Answer me.”

A command followed shortly. Ha-gyeom bit his trembling lips before finally speaking.

“I had no other motive. I was just worried about Myeong-yi….”

“I know.”

…He knew? Before Ha-gyeom could process his surprise, Baek Sa continued.

“No matter your intentions, don’t expect the results to align with your hopes.”

His tone was firm, but his voice was unusually soft. He spoke calmly, as if discussing mundane matters. His touch, sliding over Ha-gyeom’s chest and around his waist, was not devoid of tenderness.

However, he didn’t let go. Baek Sa turned him around, and Ha-gyeom, meeting his eyes, felt his throat tighten. Despite having just killed a man, Baek Sa’s gaze was eerily calm.

“What happened to Myeong-yi and his sister?”

The calmness made Ha-gyeom anxious, prompting him to ask. Baek Sa grabbed his chin, inspecting his lips.

“It’s not something you should concern yourself with.”

“If I hadn’t gone there….”

“They might have lived on, struggling but surviving.”

His vague answer made Ha-gyeom’s heart pound. Anxiety overwhelmed his mind. If anything had happened to Myeong-yi and his sister because of him, he would never forgive himself.

Baek Sa offered no further explanation. His silence alone made it clear Ha-gyeom wouldn’t get answers. Anxiety was an easy emotion to exploit, and Baek Sa wasn’t likely to miss an opportunity to remind Ha-gyeom of who held the power between them.

Recalling the horrible smell and weight of the man who had attacked him, Ha-gyeom asked,

“Why did you kill him? You didn’t have to. I could have handled….”

“Handled it?”

Baek Sa showed no sign of remorse.

“You knew it was only a matter of time.”

His matter-of-fact tone was chilling.

“Ending it before he suffered more might have been a mercy.”

Baek Sa traced Ha-gyeom’s injured earlobe. The touch was so sharp it made Ha-gyeom hold his breath.

“It’s best not to attract attention.”

Whose attention?

Swallowing his words, Ha-gyeom noticed the cold glint in Baek Sa’s eyes. Was it just his imagination, or did the warning feel more severe than the man’s death? As he realized the pain in his abdomen was due to Baek Sa’s touch, Ha-gyeom asked,

“Why?”

There was no response. Baek Sa, who usually refuted immediately, remained silent. He pressed harder on the torn earlobe, pushing Ha-gyeom against the wall.

“Ugh…!”

Then he covered Ha-gyeom’s mouth. Ha-gyeom struggled to breathe as Baek Sa’s hand covered half his face. His wet skin made it hard to get enough air.

Fearing another sudden change, Ha-gyeom’s tension returned.

Seeing his eyes tremble, Baek Sa lowered his gaze and kissed Ha-gyeom’s shoulder. Holding him close, he began to caress him without warning. The heat from Baek Sa’s lips almost made Ha-gyeom’s tension melt away.

Why shouldn’t he attract attention? As an S-class from the center, rumors would inevitably follow him.

He needed to stay focused. To get answers, even if he had to feign compliance.

His trembling persisted, but Ha-gyeom mustered the courage to embrace Baek Sa’s back. He dug his nails in hard, eliciting only a long exhale from Baek Sa, who didn’t seem displeased.

“…Why?”

Ha-gyeom asked, struggling. This time, Baek Sa impatiently kissed his forehead.

“Be patient. You’ll be grateful for what I’ve handled someday.”

TL/N: Someone please buy me volume 2 of this novel so I can tl more