59

At first, Ha-gyeom thought the figures might be monsters, but soon he recognized them as Park Ha and Yeo Jin-joo. He quickly shifted the flashlight away, relying on the dim ambient light to make out their forms.

‘…No way?’

It didn’t take long for Ha-gyeom to notice the syringes scattered around them. He crept closer, hiding behind a wall to observe more carefully.

‘Are they insane?’

It was clear now: Park Ha and Yeo Jin-joo were engaging in some form of guiding without even seeking consent from him or Baek Sa, and they were doing it under the influence of drugs. But whatever they were doing in their intoxicated state could hardly be called guiding—it was more like just having sex.

Shocked, Ha-gyeom turned and sprinted back to where Baek Sa was. His sudden rush made Baek Sa immediately stand up.

“Why are you running?”

Ha-gyeom shook his head without answering, rushing back to his spot on the blanket and trying to catch his breath. Naturally, Baek Sa’s gaze shifted toward where Ha-gyeom had come from. Now that Ha-gyeom was back, the faint sound of what could only be described as catlike wails could be heard even from here.

“Aah.”

Baek Sa let out a knowing sigh, realizing what was happening. He must have already guessed that they had started engaging in such acts.

‘They’re acting like animals—what are they thinking?’

Ha-gyeom quickly turned off the flashlight. The darkness was a relief; it hid the embarrassed flush that had crept up his face after witnessing such a scene.

Just in case Yeo Jin-joo was neglecting her wave, Ha-gyeom kept his own expanded, not wanting to lower it. As he absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck, Baek Sa patted the spot next to him, inviting Ha-gyeom to sit closer.

“The temperature’s going to drop more.”

Already feeling embarrassed, Ha-gyeom instinctively resisted the idea of sitting closer. It was chilly, but not unbearable.

“I’m fine. For now.”

Ha-gyeom spread the blanket that had been lying nearby over his lap.

It was his first time on an operation outside, but he had learned well that the conditions could be harsh. Even though he was confident he could handle anything without complaint, Baek Sa pulled him closer until they were sitting side by side.

Their shoulders, arms, and thighs touched. While the cold air persisted, warmth began to rise within Ha-gyeom. It wasn’t just a matter of physical desire; something deeper stirred within him. He fidgeted with his hands under the blanket, trying to distract himself.

This kind of closeness was unfamiliar. Even if Baek Sa had been just another esper with no personal connection, having to be physically close to someone would have felt just as awkward.

To make matters worse, the occasional lewd moan echoed from where Park Ha and Yeo Jin-joo were. While the sounds didn’t arouse him, they made it hard not to think of intimate acts, especially the nights he had spent with Baek Sa.

More specifically, it brought back memories of Baek Seung-woo, the man who still lingered in his thoughts. Seeing Baek Sa in combat gear, dealing with the surrounding threats, reminded Ha-gyeom of the version of Baek Seung-woo he had imagined during past operations.

Ha-gyeom secretly wondered: what if this weren’t a mission for District 0 but rather an operation for the Center? What if he were participating as a colleague and guide, rather than as a victim? He imagined himself beside Baek Seung-woo, no longer a helpless figure.

Just as he was protecting Baek Sa with his wave now, he would have been overjoyed to protect Baek Seung-woo in the same way. The thought alone brought a faint smile to his lips.

He even dared to imagine what it would have been like if Baek Seung-woo had remained by his side into adulthood. Given their matching compatibility, they might have become partners, no matter their feelings toward one another.

Baek Seung-woo, not Baek Sa, had always been gentle and considerate. If they had to guide together, Baek Seung-woo would never have hurt him. There would have been no threats, no coercion—just clean, efficient teamwork. He would have gone to great lengths to ensure Ha-gyeom understood the situation clearly, perhaps even finding another way to avoid guiding if possible.

They had been closer than blood brothers.

But here, Baek Seung-woo no longer existed. The man beside him was Baek Sa, living with no memory of his past, and in that ignorance, Ha-gyeom had crossed a line. They had kissed and shared intimacy multiple times, something he could barely classify as guiding.

“……”

The smile faded from Ha-gyeom’s face, replaced by a sinking feeling in his chest. What if Baek Seung-woo’s memories returned? Would he find their relationship revolting? Or worse, what if his memories never returned? What would Ha-gyeom do then? And if they did come back, how could he possibly make amends for what they had done?

Ha-gyeom unknowingly clenched his fists. His palms began to sweat as the enormity of the situation hit him. Breathing became difficult as he realized just how deeply he was entangled in this mess.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Baek Sa’s low voice cut through his thoughts. When Baek Sa acted in a way that reminded him of Baek Seung-woo, Ha-gyeom’s mind sometimes came to a halt.

When Ha-gyeom didn’t immediately respond, Baek Sa, seemingly unconcerned by his internal struggle, reached out and gently nudged him.

“If you’re tired, you should get some rest.”

At Baek Sa’s light touch, Ha-gyeom’s head, which had been held stiffly upright, began to tilt slightly. His eyes fluttered as he leaned against Baek Sa’s shoulder.

“It’s not like that.”

Ha-gyeom mumbled, trying to pull away. But Baek Sa, predictably, didn’t let him. His hand gently brushed the exposed skin on Ha-gyeom’s neck above the loose collar of his combat uniform, playfully flicking at the fabric. The sensation of Baek Sa’s well-manicured nails grazing his ear made Ha-gyeom’s stomach flutter.

“…Don’t.”

Ha-gyeom protested softly. Already overwhelmed by the swirling emotions inside him, even this light teasing felt too harsh. It was as if Baek Sa’s boldness stemmed from his lack of memory, making it easier for him to act without restraint.

‘Because he doesn’t know.’

Ha-gyeom repeated the thought to himself. He had momentarily forgotten that to Baek Sa, he was just a guide with a high compatibility score whom he had only recently met. Unlike Ha-gyeom, who couldn’t separate the man before him from Baek Seung-woo, there were no shadows of the past in Baek Sa’s words or actions.

“You’ve got some bad habits,” Baek Sa remarked.

“What habits?”

Ha-gyeom asked, bristling.

“Just because I’m your assigned guide doesn’t mean you can touch me whenever you want or do whatever you please.”

Without the presence of Baek Seung-woo in his mind, there weren’t many clear facts Ha-gyeom could use to define Baek Sa.

An S-rank esper, thirty-one years old, probably closely connected to leadership. Sometimes bored, sometimes cold, sometimes kind. Unlike Baek Seung-woo, Baek Sa was inconsistent and difficult to read.

“Is that something you read in a book?” Baek Sa asked.

“…What?”

“I’ve heard that’s how they teach you at the Center.”

It was as if he was accusing Ha-gyeom of learning about relationships from a textbook. Ha-gyeom felt indignant. Even though he was ten years younger, he was still an adult and had been a formal guide for a year.

“It’s not something I learned; it’s just common sense.”

There was no end to the conversation if they delved into the sensitivities surrounding guiding. The fact that guiding often involved physical contact made it a tricky issue, and Baek Sa didn’t seem to grasp the fundamental problem.

“Common sense?”

Ha-gyeom was ready to drop the subject and move on when Baek Sa gestured toward the wall behind which Park Ha and Yeo Jin-joo were.

“If you think common sense will work on me or on people like them, you’re mistaken.”

So, he had no intention of stopping? Baek Sa’s blatant disregard left Ha-gyeom speechless. It was one thing to ignore what someone said, but this was too much.

“I figured as much.”

Ha-gyeom muttered, finally brushing Baek Sa’s hand away from his neck and sitting up straight.

The intermittent moans from the other side of the wall had stopped entirely.

In the cold silence that followed, only the distant howls of monsters occasionally broke the stillness. The eerie sound, like that of a wolf howling at the moon, added to the strange atmosphere. It felt almost like they were deep underwater, with the dark and muted surroundings enhancing the illusion.

Ha-gyeom’s gaze drifted back to Baek Sa, not out of any specific intent, but because he felt drawn to him. As soon as their eyes met, Ha-gyeom felt his breath catch. Baek Sa had been watching him all along.

In the quiet, the sound of Ha-gyeom swallowing felt impossibly loud. Even in the dim light, Baek Sa’s sharp features were clearly visible. Ha-gyeom quickly looked away, sensing the shift in the air between them.

‘Is this how things usually are between an esper and a guide?’

The thought struck Ha-gyeom suddenly. He had never felt this kind of tension with any esper at the Center. Whether or not he had an intimate relationship with them, there was no significant emotional change after guiding.

If anything, he might have felt a sense of camaraderie, but he had never socialized with espers outside of professional settings, never dated one, and certainly never been involved in any romantic entanglements. This constant tension and the way things always seemed to turn suggestive were confusing and unfamiliar.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

Ha-gyeom finally asked.

“Don’t you know?” Baek Sa replied.

Ha-gyeom’s heart skipped a beat at the bluntness of Baek Sa’s response. The weight of their unspoken connection, the complicated feelings tied to who Baek Sa had been and who he was now, all seemed to hang in the air between them.