71

Ha-gyeom found himself floating in the slow, thick flow of time, as if submerged in deep water. His consciousness and senses dulled, leaving him adrift.

The place Baek Sa had saved him from… it was District 0. The very place they had left just days ago.

Even though it was a clear fact, it didn’t immediately make sense to him, and his face twisted in confusion. His eyes trembled wildly, but Baek Sa’s gaze remained unwaveringly steady, without the slightest hint of disturbance or confusion. It felt as though Ha-gyeom was the only one overwhelmed by the situation, on the verge of breaking down, while Baek Sa stood unaffected.

“…Do you remember me?”

The strong wind on the rooftop brushed heavily against his body. Despite the chaotic surroundings, Baek Sa remained the only clear figure, standing out in sharp relief. Ha-gyeom struggled to speak, finally opening his tightly clenched throat and calling him as he once did.

“…Hyung?”

It should have been a strange way to address him, but Baek Sa didn’t deny it. There was no sign of confusion in his eyes. His attitude was the kind that only Baek Seung-woo—not Baek Sa—could have had.

“When did you regain your memory?”

“……”

“Don’t tell me… Losing your memory was a lie too?”

He neither confirmed nor denied it. Ha-gyeom’s hand, gripping Baek Sa’s collar, trembled uncontrollably.

“Hyung….”

“……”

“Answer me… Are you really Hyung?”

Baek Seung-woo clenched his teeth, the muscles in his firm jaw tensing and then relaxing. At that moment, Ha-gyeom saw a slight flicker of emotion in his eyes. The deep black pupils seemed to ripple as if struck by a giant wave, and Ha-gyeom’s eyes burned with heat.

Ha-gyeom couldn’t hold back the tears that filled his eyes. Relief washed over him, but as the memories of all that had happened flashed through his mind, he was overwhelmed with a surge of resentment that he could barely endure.

Boom!

Even with the deafening noise, Ha-gyeom remained focused solely on Baek Seung-woo, his breath hitching as though someone were choking him. He couldn’t say anything, only letting the thick tears fall as Baek Seung-woo whispered lowly.

“You can hate me and resent me as much as you want.”

“……”

“But don’t ever think about going back there, Ha-gyeom.”

Even as he spoke in a comforting tone, he wasn’t the same Baek Seung-woo from the past. Looking into his eyes, which remained as desolate as ashes even after tearing down the barriers between them, Ha-gyeom realized that the five years had irreversibly changed him.

Would he ever see the clear, bright eyes of Baek Seung-woo again? Even though his voice still carried the same gentle tone as before, Ha-gyeom couldn’t help but bury his face in the hands that held Baek Seung-woo’s collar.

“How… How could you do this to me….”

“……”

“How could you do this to me, Hyung!”

His cry was swallowed by the howls of the monsters around them. The words that couldn’t echo back settled heavily in his heart.

As he trembled uncontrollably, Baek Seung-woo stepped closer, placing his hands firmly on Ha-gyeom’s shoulders. Leaning in close, he whispered softly into his ear, a whisper meant for only the two of them.

“Why do you think I wouldn’t do this?”

It sounded less like a reproach and more like a genuine question. As Ha-gyeom tried to steady his breath and clear his tear-blurred vision, Baek Seung-woo continued in a voice tinged with regret.

“No matter how close we were, there was no reason for me to share a classified mission with you. It’s my job, and my responsibility.”

…A classified mission? An assignment?

…So it wasn’t just a simple disappearance after all?

Suddenly, Ha-gyeom recalled Director Kim Hye-jeong from the meeting room. She had given him a solo mission without providing any information, but now, he was certain that she had known everything. There was no way the events could have unfolded as they did unless she had been aware of Baek Seung-woo’s actions and had sent Ha-gyeom with that knowledge.

The conclusion of the secret mission she had assigned him was clearly an intentional abandonment. How could he be sure that he was the only one who had been placed in such a situation?

Missing in action.

As he thought of the last phrase likely recorded in Baek Seung-woo’s file, a chill spread through Ha-gyeom’s entire body. Even though his situation might have been different, Baek Seung-woo’s records could have been just as easily manipulated. The belated realization struck him like lightning.

“Did the Director know everything?”

Baek Seung-woo didn’t respond, but he didn’t deny it either.

“What kind of mission was it? Why did you deceive me… and live like someone else?”

“I told you, it’s classified.”

Baek Seung-woo spoke clearly, then stepped back to meet Ha-gyeom’s eyes. Ha-gyeom understood that Baek Seung-woo wasn’t wrong. The more powerful an Esper was, the more likely they were to be assigned to dangerous missions, and they were bound by confidentiality. But still….

“When I went there… You should have told me then. I didn’t know anything, and when I saw you acting like someone else….”

Ha-gyeom couldn’t finish his sentence. He knew Baek Seung-woo understood how confused and hurt he had been. So he had to say it.

“…Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you over the past five years?”

As Ha-gyeom took a step closer, Baek Seung-woo’s gaze wavered momentarily. Even if others couldn’t tell, Ha-gyeom knew. Feeling a surge of anxiety, he instinctively grabbed Baek Seung-woo’s arm and pulled him closer. Baek Seung-woo complied, leaning in to whisper into his ear once more.

“I did everything to you, even things I shouldn’t have.”

“…….”

The deliberate way Baek Seung-woo pointed that out made Ha-gyeom’s heart sink.

“And you know that better than anyone.”

The guiding to quell Baek Seung-woo’s rampage—that was where it all began. Before Ha-gyeom could even grasp the situation, they had already shared a physical connection. And it hadn’t ended with just that; their relationship had continued in a physical realm beyond guiding. Ha-gyeom knew this better than anyone.

A flush of red spread across Ha-gyeom’s face as memories of Baek Seung-woo’s touch, his breath, and the intense sensations of him entering his body vividly resurfaced. But it wasn’t just those moments. The bullet that had grazed his ear, the blood of another person splattering onto him in an instant, the intense days of being torn between Baek Seung-woo and Baek Sa… These were all things he could never simply put behind him.

“Why shouldn’t we have done it? Why should I—why should we—hold back?”

His heart pounded loudly in his ears. Ha-gyeom finally lifted his head to meet Baek Seung-woo’s eyes. There was a sharp edge in his gaze, which made Ha-gyeom hesitate to speak.

Reasons why they shouldn’t have done it? Ha-gyeom felt like he could list a hundred. But at the same time, he couldn’t find any answers. Facing the real Baek Seung-woo, whom he had longed for so deeply, only left his thoughts in turmoil, far from being resolved.

“Because I cared about you?”

As Baek Seung-woo’s rough voice, laced with raw emotion, whispered against Ha-gyeom’s ear, his breath brushed past it.

“Because I saved you?”

Baek Seung-woo’s hand slid down his neck, like a snake, until it reached the back of his head, fingers gently threading through Ha-gyeom’s hair before softly caressing the nape of his neck. A shiver ran down Ha-gyeom’s spine.

Still in a voice that only the two of them could hear, Baek Seung-woo whispered again.

“I still care about you more than anyone. So don’t even think about going back to that hell, no matter what orders you receive.”

His words were firm. It was unfathomable to Ha-gyeom how Baek Seung-woo could remain so composed, even after doing things he would never have done at the Center. How could he feel no guilt, when Ha-gyeom was overwhelmed by it? Ha-gyeom couldn’t understand Baek Seung-woo’s mindset; he had never imagined finding himself entwined with Baek Seung-woo in such an intimate way.

“…You want me to go back alone?”

Despite the overwhelming confusion that clouded his mind, he couldn’t simply let those words pass.

Even if Baek Seung-woo had chosen to stay there for a mission, the idea of returning to the Center alone was unthinkable. To Ha-gyeom, wherever Baek Seung-woo was, that was where he belonged. It was a conviction that had been engraved into his consciousness since the day Baek Seung-woo had rescued him.

“…Of course I’ll resent you. And I’ll hate you too.”

Tears welled up in Ha-gyeom’s eyes as he spoke. He had trusted Baek Seung-woo more than anyone, and that trust made the betrayal all the more painful. No matter how much it was part of his mission, if the roles were reversed, Ha-gyeom knew he would never have abandoned Baek Seung-woo.

But resentment and hatred were secondary. No matter what form Baek Seung-woo took now, the fact that he had saved Ha-gyeom would never change. Thanks to him, Ha-gyeom had gained a new life and had lived in relative peace, even in this harsh world. The feelings he had nurtured secretly since adolescence wouldn’t simply fade away.

“But I’m staying by your side. That’s where I belong.”

Ha-gyeom hastily wiped the tears from his cheeks. He used his sleeve to dry his eyes, but the tears kept welling up, rendering his efforts futile. Yet he didn’t back down, and Baek Seung-woo’s brow furrowed.

“You don’t care about my feelings… You won’t explain what happened… All the pain and hardship you put me through… I can endure all of that. I can endure it all.”

Ha-gyeom thought back to what Baek Seung-woo had said to him the night before, about the many days spent in District 0.

‘Forget the person you said you liked. You won’t see them again anyway.’