M 123

Interest bloomed on the faces of the watching elders. Sehwa stood firmly in place, enduring their malicious gazes as if they had found something amusing. Like a parrot, he kept repeating the same words – take me instead of the child, take me away.

“I request a brief recess,” Ki Tae-jeong said, springing up as if his waist had a spring attached. Just as he felt a hand slip behind his knees, his body was lifted up. The man’s touch, holding his body tightly as if not to allow any stray thoughts, was incredibly firm.

The courtroom door, looking antiquated enough to be in a history book, opened. In contrast, a cutting-edge sensor scanned the bodies of the two people who had become one.

“Who in their right mind would listen to talk of taking away a newborn child?!” 

Just before completely exiting, he heard General Oh Seon-ran hiss a threat under his breath. his tone was more cautious than ever, as if judging that nothing good would come from it reaching his own ears.

“Director Cha, if you’ve found your voice, say again what you said earlier. What? Draw the child’s blood? A child still in the incubator?”

“General, as I explained, according to Brigadier General Ki Tae-jeong’s claim, it’s a necessary procedure-“

“Why do you keep harping on irrelevant people at a hearing to determine Lieutenant Kim’s wrongdoings? Do you think it sounds good for someone related to Lieutenant Kim to be saying such things?”

“General Oh, please calm down a little.”

“Calm down? Do I look calm right now? Moreover, wasn’t that drug something Lieutenant Kim manufactured while recklessly pushing forward with the ‘Harvest’? What are you going to use an unapproved project’s byproduct for after testing it? What are you planning to report to the higher-ups?”

“…”

“Hey, Director Cha. Why are you silent? You were so aggressive earlier, like you were going to kill someone.”

The door closed slowly, and the words that had been stabbing at his ears disappeared as if sucked inside.

The various ornate decorations on Brigadier General Ki Tae-jeong’s chest swayed before his eyes like a mobile. Stars, flowers, and birds. The national flower, only permitted to soldiers, the symbol of the Air Force, and the insignia of a Brigadier General. Perhaps these were Ki Tae-jeong’s everything, the goals of his life….

Sehwa closed his eyes. Perhaps because his capillaries had burst, there were several blotchy spots even behind his closed eyelids.

***

The infirmary in the annex was much larger and more modern than the place he had previously been in. As soon as the brief examination was over, Lieutenant Na and his subordinates quietly left, watching Ki Tae-jeong’s expression. In a space as large as a small playground, to exaggerate a bit, only the sound of saline dripping echoed.

Sehwa kept smiling with his dry lips, while Ki Tae-jeong checked the speed of the liquid flowing through the tube hung on the IV pole with an expressionless face. It’s natural for him to be angry. Despite his repeated earnest requests to say nothing and stay quiet, he had acted on his own…

Still… it wasn’t out of ignorance that he had made the bombshell declaration to take his instead of the child. Even knowing Ki Tae-jeong would be furious, even knowing how long he had waited for this day… He wanted to protect the child, even if it meant doing so in that way.

Just as nothing was as precious to Ki Tae-jeong as his rank insignia, nothing was as desperate to him as Hae-rim’s well-being. That’s all.

“I told you to stay still, didn’t I?”

“…”

“I said I’d take care of everything, so you just needed to stay still, to not react no matter what nonsense those bastards spouted.”

“…”

“I made you promise that before bringing you here, so why on earth…!”

Ki Tae-jeong, about to reprimand Sehwa for his impulsive action, bit his lip slightly as he realized how agitated his own voice had become.

“…I’ll say you fainted from shock and couldn’t stay any longer, so keep that in mind.”

“Brigadier General.”

“Go back once you’ve finished the IV. I’ll have Lieutenant Park accompany you.”

“B-brigadier General…! Just a moment… please!”

As he called out urgently, the man turned back. Surprisingly, what filled his face was not fierce anger. If one had to interpret that expression, it was closer to… concern for him.

“That, the Director… anyway, what he said about taking my child to ch-check, that…”

“…”

“That, is it… is there really a p-possibility of that happening…?”

Ki Tae-jeong stood with his hands on his hips, staring at the floor for a moment. It didn’t seem like he was trying to control his anger, but rather like he was pondering how to explain something to him.

Apart from his own messily tangled feelings, Sehwa could now roughly read the man’s inner thoughts just by watching him close and open his eyes. Before, he couldn’t guess at all what this person was thinking, but at some point, it had become like this.

“That’s not something to be discussed here, and… hah, I won’t let it come to that in the first place, so don’t worry about it.”

“Then does that mean it’s a topic to be discussed somewhere else, cough, someday?”

“I said that won’t happen.”

How could he believe that? Sehwa shook his head and blindly grabbed Ki Tae-jeong’s sleeve.

“Then, rather… if you take me from the start, they won’t be able to turn their eyes to the child…”

“Lee Sehwa!”

“It’s true, isn’t it? My body is actually strange, so if the people who take me become interested in me, they won’t pay attention to Saessak, no, Hae-rim anymore,”

“Yes, that’s exactly the problem.”

Ki Tae-jeong’s Adam’s apple moved greatly as if suppressing rising anger.

“The fact that your constitution is strange, that the person who gave birth to you was also a test subject for similar reasons… that’s the biggest problem.”

A constitution that no drug works on, or more precisely, one that filters out only harmful components to the human body. Hadn’t Lieutenant Na mentioned it before, that it would be material the military would drool over? Of course, with him standing firm, they couldn’t arbitrarily drag Sehwa or the child to a laboratory, but for Sehwa, whose body and mind had weakened, even suffering from this anxiety would be poisonous.

“I don’t care about any of that…”

“I do.”

“Brigadier General.”

“No.”

“…”

“This is not allowed. Don’t think about stepping forward anymore.”

What filled his empty eyes was disbelief. There was no room for resentment or hatred to creep in. Sehwa seemed to hear nothing. Unable to bring up his recent habit of asking for a contract to be written, he just bowed his head deeply.

Seeing him unconsciously rubbing his chest area, he must be feeling stifled. Or having inner turmoil. Or both…

Ki Tae-jeong loosened the tie that was choking him. The suffocating feeling was the same for him too.

“You were a department head-level player, you know.”

“…”

“So why are you shaken by such shallow tactics? It’s obvious they’re doing it on purpose to provoke you.”

Sehwa, who had been blankly staring at his own feet, smiled slightly. It was a smile like a candle flame that might go out at the slightest breeze.

“Back then… I had nothing I wanted to protect.”

There were countless things he wanted to have. Enough food to eat his fill, a 1-Star citizen ID, a clean house in his own name even if it was small, enough money to clear all his debts…. But he didn’t cherish such things like his life. He had never thought about wanting to protect something so it wouldn’t be taken away by anyone, so it wouldn’t be hurt by anything.

“In the past…”

Looking at the same snow-white bedding that had covered his body on the day he learned of Ki Tae-jeong’s lie, his tongue moved on its own.

“…I had such thoughts even when looking at you, Brigadier General.”

“…”

“At that time, really…”

His voice kept sinking, making his words trail off. Still, Sehwa didn’t cry. He was just quietly ruminating on that hot and warm time of the past. Admitting that he liked Ki Tae-jeong and deciding to accept the child were decisions made after much deliberation on his part. And once he made up his mind, he loved passionately as if there would never be another chance.

As if there would never be another chance… Was giving his heart away like that the problem? Is that why it hurts so much now?

“Why… am I like this?”

‘Why did we end up like this, you and I?’

“I don’t understand… You must be tired of me… constantly being like this.”

“…”

“Well… Since it’s known as your child, Brigadier General, you probably won’t… easily hand it over to others… even if it’s just for your reputation.”

Thinking he had been short-sighted, saying sorry… such additions would have been better left unsaid.

Now Sehwa didn’t believe any promise without justification. He strangely belittles himself and can’t find his worth in anything other than taking care of the child.

He had been harshly aggressive, hurting him by bringing up the child he said he wanted to protect so much… He was sorry for that, and only after almost losing him did he realize his method was completely wrong… So these days he was trying to treat him normally. And now Sehwa can’t even freely hate him, just suffering like this.

Ki Tae-jeong looked at Sehwa’s hand sprawled on the sheet with a devastated feeling. The veins spread like leaf veins are infinitely thin and delicate. His skin is so white it’s indistinguishable from the white bedding. He wasn’t this thin before. He wasn’t this pale before…

“…What are you thinking?”

Swallowing the heat that kept rising, he overlapped his hand on top of Sehwa’s neatly placed fingers.

He wouldn’t let go. He couldn’t let go.

‘You say you once had such blind feelings for me too. That there was a time you wanted to protect me, just like you do the child now. So hang on a little longer. Stay by my side. Until all the bad things dilute and you like me again, endure it. Then, maybe someday, feelings like before might sprout again.’

“I won’t get angry, tell me.”

“…The day will surely come when you tire of me, Brigadier General… and if my physical condition is like this… I’ll be even more useless…”

“…”

“Then, what should I do… How can I make sure Hae-rim doesn’t hear such scary things in the future… That’s what I’ve been worrying about…”

Ah…

“But… now that I’m General Oh Seon-ran’s adopted child, it’ll be okay, right?”

Ah, haa. Ki Tae-jeong let out a small sigh. Nothing was reflected in Sehwa’s eyes, which were carelessly thrown somewhere in the infirmary. It was as if a pitch-black curtain had been drawn.

Looking at Sehwa muttering incessantly like a madman… Ki Tae-jeong decided to admit it. That it was all over already.

It was this very building. The place where Sehwa learned all about the lies he had casually uttered, where Sehwa had collapsed bleeding after receiving a great shock…

On that day when he cried loudly and wanted to hear the truth from him one last time, as if grasping at straws, when he ignored his plea to be honest and brushed it off pretending not to know as always… Everything about this beautiful, affectionate, and precious person shattered. 

He broke it all.

That brilliantly shining heart, that lovely thing – he realized too late how precious it was… No matter how much he floundered, he couldn’t grasp the fine sand slipping through his fingers. Trying only made it slip away faster.

After ruining everything beyond repair, he stubbornly held onto Sehwa. Let him stay by his side, let him see the sea with him, he wants to hear him say “our family of three”, smile at him again like before… He had such shameless and futile imaginings. Hr begged him, who was always kind, to give him another chance this time too. Selfishly, cruelly, again.

“Sehwa!”

His throat stinging, unable to even swallow properly, General Oh Seon-ran flung the door open without knocking. His neck was flushed red, as if he had just been raising his voice.

“General. I have something to tell you.”

“…What is it?”

“Could you spare me a moment?”

General Oh Seon-ran, who was about to ignore him as if he didn’t matter at all, ended up nodding reflexively at Ki Tae-jeong’s somehow ominous expression. With eyes full of worry, he looked at Sehwa sitting askew on the bed, then followed Ki Tae-jeong out into the hallway.

“What is it? Has something happened to Sehwa?”

“It’s not quite that…”

Ki Tae-jeong stared blankly at the gray door of the infirmary. Then suddenly, as if suppressing something, he clenched his teeth. The muscles in his jaw stood out prominently and veins bulged on his neck.

“Brigadier General Ki Tae-jeong?”

Seeing a moist gleam suddenly appear in Ki Tae-jeong’s eyes, Oh Seon-ran pulled his chin back in disbelief. Is he crying? As he blinked his eyes wide in disbelief, Ki Tae-jeong was staring at him with the same arrogant face as usual, as if mocking him for thinking it was an illusion.

“…If I let Sehwa go, if I give up all parental rights to the child.”

“…”

“Then will you, General Oh Seon-ran, become their guardian in the future?”