M 128

He shook his wrist a couple of times. He tried flexing his fingertips and rotated his arm to check its range of motion. Even though he had used the weakest one, it seemed the medicine had taken effect as everything had healed already.

Ki Tae-jeong moved with an expressionless face. Several new elaborate decorations added since before clinked as he walked. Among them, the most eye-catching was the symbol of a Major General attached to the golden nameplate.

On the shoulders of his dress uniform were two stars and a chrysanthemum, while badges symbolizing the military and air force hung from the collar and above and below the pockets.

To think they’d make him command combat operations wearing such impractical clothes. This is what happens when someone give decision-making power to bastards who’ve never seen actual combat. Of course, there were separate combat and utility uniforms, but given his rank, he found himself having to wear the dress uniform much more often lately, which was extremely inconvenient.

“Welcome, Major General.”

Ki Tae-jeong clicked his tongue softly and nodded.

He was no longer a Brigadier General, but a Major General now. It seemed like he’d been called to various places wearing this rank insignia for quite some time, but the title used to address him still felt unfamiliar. He usually adapted well within a day, but what was the problem this time? Was it because he was getting older?

Lost in idle thoughts, Ki Tae-jeong smirked and cast his gaze down the empty corridor. It was a foolish question with an obvious answer. He didn’t want to forget the voice that used to call him “Brigadier General” with that unique intonation that slightly trailed off at the end. Fearing that if he got used to the new title of Major General, even that memory would become as if it never happened, Ki Tae-jeong remained stiff despite finally achieving the additional star he had longed for.

“Where’s Kim Seok-cheol?”

“He’s been confined with Boss Son.”

“Has the treatment been administered?”

“Yes. He’s back to normal. He’s showing mild seizure symptoms, but it’s within the usual range.”

The seizures were probably due to the difficulty in coping with the body’s seemingly perfect condition after the treatment, as if nothing had happened.

The sensation of his wrist being cut and his abdomen being torn was still vivid, but his skin had smoothed over and the bleeding had stopped completely, as if all that pain had been a lie. It would be strange not to go mad. Even Kim Seok-cheol, who was relatively accustomed to taking the treatment, had half-lost his mind and wailed when his body began to regularly burst open.

“Have you eaten, sir?”

“Yeah.”

He slept only as much as necessary and ate the bare minimum. That was what it took to stay alive and keep moving.

The flimsy windows of the House rattled, unable to withstand the gusting winter wind. Just as he thought it was getting a bit chilly, winter had arrived in an instant, and another year had passed. It felt like an eternity had gone by, but when he counted, it had only been five months since Lee Sehwa left.

The old corridor creaked with every step. The 4-Hwan’s House, now with only guards and no caretakers, was little more than a ruin. Unidentifiable weed-like plants had begun to grow in various parts of the already dilapidated building, and the damp smell of mold spreading like water on ceilings and walls wouldn’t go away.

Add to that the smell of iron, bleach, and the musty odor of old paper, and anyone entering for the first time would start to retch.

Still, the stale smell of ledgers and blankets would dissipate somewhat if the windows were left open, but the pungent odor of the bundles of banknotes hidden in every corner of the building wouldn’t go away no matter what. He knew that old money had a pretty strong smell, but somehow even that seemed to stem from the pitch-black desires of those who frequented this place.

“Major General! We just received news that Colonel Kim’s bankruptcy application has been rejected,” Sergeant Major Choi, now a Warrant Officer, chimed in with a beaming face.

As everything was wrapping up, his staff officers were given choices. He had expected them to choose complete name changes over promotions, but to his surprise, they all picked rank insignias as if it were obvious. They reasoned that with the frequent criticism of the chaotic system among concentration camp origins, it wouldn’t do to have the aides of a Major General lacking in experience, as it would only reinforce such assessments.

Normally, he would have scolded them to stop talking nonsense and look out for themselves first, but this time Ki Tae-jeong just nodded silently. He simply acknowledged their loyalty gruffly, saying that they would soon accumulate achievements anyway, and he would give them new names and higher positions then.

Now, even Ki Tae-jeong was paying some attention to outward appearances. Because that was what it would take to keep Sehwa from getting hurt.

‘About the people you took when you first occupied the House. Was there any selection criteria?’

Not long after sending Sehwa off at the beach, he had encountered General Oh Seon-ran in the Ministry of Defense building. He thought he would ignore him and pass by, but he unexpectedly asked him something out of the blue. What were his criteria for keeping people close, how did he punish them, he could understand that, but what about his reward system, did he keep in touch with anyone separately after the trial… such useless things.

‘I chose people who wouldn’t be a problem if they died right away.’

‘I can understand weeding out spies, but what about the rest? Why did you judge them that way? It’s much easier to work with tight-lipped guys than to kill everyone.’

‘It’s more convenient to use them and discard them than to carefully select and examine each trustworthy person.’

Those who could be killed didn’t just mean spies. Among them were some who unnecessarily ran their mouths, lowering morale within the unit, dissatisfied with the strict treatment, and some who subtly looked down on those from the concentration camps.

There were also some he brought along for no particular reason, and these returned to their units without major issues. There needed to be some who made it out alive, after all, to spread rumors about how miserable things could get if they didn’t listen to him.

But General Oh Seon-ran shook his head after hearing this.

‘You saw Colonel Kim bringing in and manipulating people who would be worthless by your standards while preparing for the trial, right? Like that doctor, or parents desperate about their child’s school district… Although it may not seem like an impressive selection of personnel, being able to mobilize such people whenever needed is certainly a weapon that can’t be ignored.’

‘…’

‘You’re a Major General now, aren’t you? If you’re going to postpone your discharge anyway, I’d recommend you start changing how you handle your subordinates. If you don’t want to repeat what hurt Sehwa.’

‘…’

‘It’s convenient to use people or weapons as much as you need and then discard them right away. I suppose that’s the kind of judgment that led you to push Sehwa too. You didn’t intentionally single him out to torment him, but wanted to use him efficiently as Kim Seok-cheol’s accomplice, right?’

‘…’

‘However, I think you’ve realized through this experience that such an approach isn’t always the right answer.’

He wasn’t giving advice because he saw any redeeming qualities in him. General Oh Seon-ran was telling him to change for Sehwa’s sake.

‘You don’t want Sehwa to hear any nasty words, right? Then you need to change too. Wouldn’t it look more natural if you at least pretended to try to change your mind? That way, people won’t think you just achieved your goal and discarded Sehwa.’

Those words snapped him to attention.

Although he probably wouldn’t be able to meet Sehwa again and thus couldn’t repeat his mistakes, he still needed to be different from before. He could no longer act alone as he always had. Having someone he wanted to protect meant just that.

Honestly… he wasn’t really following General Oh Seon-ran’s advice. He undoubtedly admitted that he had wronged Sehwa. But he still didn’t know why he should be merciful to other people.

It’s not like other bastards would truly admire him if he acted generously. Fuck, it would be fortunate if they didn’t look down on him just because he loosened up a bit.

But he couldn’t bear the thought of Sehwa being treated poorly among the elite. Just imagining it made his blood boil. How dare they talk behind someone’s back.

So Ki Tae-jeong was making small efforts. He would say “good job” when his subordinates completed their tasks well, and he even gave appropriate rewards to lowly soldiers. That was all he had done so far, but even that was enough to make Lieutenant, no, Captain Na, cry tears of emotion, saying that he had changed a lot.

He was even enduring the nonsense from the boomers who started spouting off as soon as he showed signs of softening. He occasionally met with military personnel or businessmen who were at odds with Colonel Kim. Though it was just simple lunches without even a drink, for those who clearly remembered the old Ki Tae-jeong, it was a drastic change.

“Major General, will you be going to the front lines this time too?”

“I have to.”

Well… despite everything, what Ki Tae-jeong put the most effort into was maintaining his reputation, which meant rolling around on the battlefield.

He deliberately chose only the most treacherous heights to deploy to. He would devise reckless operations that even his staff officers were appalled by, and he would go alone to places that didn’t even need to be occupied, just to plant a flag of victory before returning.

Naturally, his appearance was a mess. Nearly losing an arm, crushed under a massive fighter jet, didn’t even qualify as a heroic tale. If it weren’t for the treatments available these days, he would have long since been laid to rest in the national cemetery.

“I feel like this charade is reaching its limit, though.”

No matter how dangerous, the battlefield where he could wield weapons mindlessly was rather comfortable. It wasn’t difficult at all to pilot a fighter jet according to the manual and drop weapons on target points.

But recently, concerns had begun to surface about his behavior. People were gossiping here and there that it didn’t look good for an officer, now a Major General, to take on everything alone.

To Ki Tae-jeong, that was just an excuse. It was all too clear that those who had barely entered military academies through family connections and only dabbled in a few mock battles couldn’t handle him when he came at them with determination.

Meanwhile, now that he was a Major General and soon to become a Lieutenant General, the forces under his command would reach a significant level. The military brass had started to worry unnecessarily about what would happen if this monster-like man, who wouldn’t die even if killed, were to stage a coup.

Ki Tae-jeong tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. Everything felt precarious, like walking a tightrope. He wished someone would give him a signal. Telling him that Sehwa was safe no matter how he acted now, that he was living cleanly and peacefully, having shed all filth like him… If so, he felt he could throw everything away without any lingering attachment.

“I’ll open the door.”

Captain Park, who still called himself Lieutenant Park, took a short breath and opened the door to the room where Boss Son and Kim Seok-cheol were confined. A pungent odor, incomparable to the smell in the corridor, assaulted his nostrils.

“Get up. It’s time to eat.”

The two figures slumped at the bar stirred and rose.

Ki Tae-jeong took Kim Seok-cheol along on most battles. He would push him to the brink of death, and when things got truly dire, he would shove a treatment into his mouth. He deliberately left one leg damaged, but always reattached his hand properly.

After finishing their work and returning, he would dump him in the 4-Hwan’s House and make him fight with Boss Son at every meal. To be precise, he didn’t order them to fight. He just gave them one tray and told them to share it between themselves. They could have shared it amicably, but it was entirely their choice to attack each other viciously every time.

“You know this is the precious menu that Boss Son used to give Sehwa while racking up 100,000 won in debt each time, right?”

“Ugh, ugh, ugh…”

“Still, I’m giving it to you for free. I’m not asking for money.”

As he tapped the end of the food tray with his foot, telling them to eat gratefully, the two lumps that no longer looked human struggled and reached out for the food.

“Watch them closely so they don’t die.”

“Yes. Shall I take you to the official residence?”

“…No, go to 2-Hwan.”

“But… nevermind, sir. I’ll escort you.”

Ignoring the suddenly gloomy gazes of Captain Park and Warrant Officer Choi, Ki Tae-jeong walked away with heavy steps.

He hadn’t been able to stop by the official residence since Sehwa left. He kept staying in the same place, making excuses that he’d get a new residence when he was promoted to Lieutenant General as scheduled, but somehow he couldn’t easily open the front door and go in.

It was because Sehwa’s traces remained intact. Ki Tae-jeong felt he could draw the trajectory of Sehwa walking around the residence, his pitiful and pretty face that cried and laughed there, even with his eyes closed.

The first floor reception room was especially a sight to behold. Originally, it was where various emergency equipment had been brought in for the sick Sehwa, but all that had been moved to the bedroom and the entire space had been decorated as a baby room. Even though he knew he was being foolish to have someone clean it thoroughly every time when he couldn’t even set foot in it, even though he knew it was a space he’d never use… Still, he ended up avoiding it because he didn’t have the courage to face it properly.

Sehwa, who had refused to see him, gradually began to look at him with a smiling face, the sweet smell of formula milk spread throughout the room, he helped with this and that in place of Sehwa who was flustered not knowing how to handle the equipment, and then suddenly remembering past events, he apologized to Sehwa who sternly reprimanded him… He had vaguely dreamed of such days. Not knowing that Sehwa’s insides were in such a terrible state.

“How’s the situation in 2-Hwan?”

“Fighter jet operations have recovered to a level that’s not difficult, but it’s still challenging for large cargo planes carrying freight to move normally.”

“I bet the old men are still wailing. Did you find that person?”

“Ah, you mean Ms. Song from the restaurant? Yes. She’s still working at the same place.”

“How much debt did that person have again?”

After hearing the amount from Captain Park, Ki Tae-jeong gave instructions as if it wasn’t a big deal. It was to anonymously gift Ms. Song a lottery ticket. It wasn’t just about handing over a piece of paper and being done with it, but an implicit order to make sure the number on it wins first prize no matter what.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just pay off her debt instead? Blind money like lottery winnings might attract greed from those around her, and she might unintentionally spend it elsewhere…”

“That’s none of my business. How can I stop her from wasting money?”

Though somewhat misguided, this was the maximum kindness and apology Ki Tae-jeong could offer.

‘Sehwa, what would you have said if you saw this…? Would you have been dumbfounded, saying why on earth am I like this, telling me not to be spiteful if I’m going to help anyway? You might have interfered, telling me to apologize properly for the past instead of glossing over it with money.’

‘But whatever it is, Sehwa, I’m clearly a bastard who just can’t do it right. Even in this situation, I still want to hear some praise from you, saying I did well.’

Ki Tae-jeong lit the cigar he had been handed and took a step. Something sticky and unidentifiable clung to his military boots like lingering attachment, making an unpleasant squelching sound.

Somehow not dying, recovering when injured, taking care of his subordinates little by little, exchanging insincere greetings with military personnel, and constantly overlaying memories with Sehwa… That’s how Ki Tae-jeong was living. He might not have been perfectly fine, but he was at least breathing and alive.

***

“Hmm, how should I explain this…”

General Oh Seon-ran’s aide, who was still unsure of what to call himself—military doctor? Doctor?—stroked his chin, looking troubled.

“Anyway, I think it’s good news… Mr. Lee Sehwa.”

“Yes.”

“We got quite meaningful results from your recent blood test.”

Sehwa fiddled with the thickened patient gown that changed with the season, looking at the screen the military doctor had pulled up. It was now a familiar cross-section of his body, but the movements of his heart and blood vessels were visibly sluggish at a glance.

That wasn’t all. The counseling sessions weren’t yielding much either. He was taking his psychiatric medication faithfully and diligently attending counseling therapy at set times… but he was still at a standstill. He wanted to get better, wanted to change. That much was clear, but his weakened mind couldn’t keep up with his will.

The counselor told him to speak freely about anything, but he just couldn’t get the words out. There were days when he wanted to pour everything out. But to bring up the words that were weighing on him, there were too many things he had to explain to the doctor beforehand.

Where should he even begin to unravel this depression and worry? Sitting there blankly like that, when it was time to get up at the end of the session, an even greater sense of self-loathing would suddenly overwhelm him than before. It was rather fortunate if it just ended with him fumbling around. There were many days when he would leave the counseling room crying loudly like an idiot, his face turning pale blue.

This morning too, as he walked down the hallway to the recovery room, Sehwa had absently thought about what it would have been like if he had been just a bit older.

If he had experienced all sorts of things already. If he had already been through a few relationships. If he had met Ki Tae-jeong after becoming a bit more of an adult… What would it have been like then?

He wouldn’t have been so swept away and excited, wouldn’t have been at a loss with his mood changing a dozen times a day, and with some experience, he might have been able to sort out his time with him less painfully than now….

Everything seemed to have happened too quickly with Ki Tae-jeong.

“It seems Mr. Lee Sehwa’s constitution is trying to return to normal. We’re assuming it might be due to the side effects of A7.”

“…What? What do you mean…?”

What kept Sehwa from falling into another deep pit was a story he had never even imagined. A normal… constitution?

“If my guess is correct, you probably won’t need to wear a patch when taking medication anymore. The current reactions in your body are very similar to those of ordinary people.”