M 138

General Oh Seon-ran briefly wrinkled his nose as if swallowing something bitter. As he traced faded memories, he looked both pained and happy.

“I promised to find his child by any means necessary, to cherish and love them like my own son… That’s the promise I made.”

It was a strange thing. General Oh Seon-ran, who seemed to be both crying and laughing, somehow felt similar to Sehwa. Although it was certain the two weren’t related, looking at him now, they really did seem like parent and child.

Does focusing attention make faces look alike? Or was this an expression he had learned from looking at that person who was said to resemble Sehwa, still remaining…

“That’s why I still can’t forgive you. The very mindset of wanting to do right by Sehwa now after damaging him to that extent, I can’t understand and don’t want to understand you, who seems to have thrown away all conscience. However…”

General Oh Seon-ran looked at his own empty hands hanging down, then clenched them tightly.

“When Sehwa is withering away day by day… what does my personal grudge matter?”

“…”

“If he had been an immature child who just threw tantrums, I could have insisted he’d meet someone better in the future… But because that’s not his nature, Sehwa…”

General Oh Seon-ran, who had been recalling the recent Sehwa with a face full of regret, soon lit up his eyes with a cold fire and firmly drew the line, saying, “That’s not to say Sehwa has been suffering, longing only for you all this time.” 

“Don’t have any delusions.” He said, “Sehwa was truly doing his best to live on his own. If it weren’t for the attack incident, if he hadn’t gotten entangled with you again, he would have forgotten smoothly.”

“He tried hard to get healthy for Hae-rim’s sake, and he really did get much better… Yes, because he’s such an upright and strong child.”

But once, General Oh Seon-ran said, exhaling a long breath. As if very displeased to be telling this story with his own mouth.

“Before it got deeper… I thought both of you needed a chance to talk openly once, or it might remain as a lifelong regret for Sehwa later. There was no other reason, and let me say again, I really dislike you.” General Oh Seon-ran said with a shudder.

“I understand what you’re saying.”

“…”

“Thank you.”

Ki Tae-jeong made no excuses. He wasn’t someone who would be swayed by flattery, and General Oh Seon-ran wouldn’t want that either. Still, he was someone Sehwa relied on a lot. Regardless of his original personality, without General Oh Seon-ran’s help, Sehwa’s wounds wouldn’t have healed this much. That much couldn’t be denied. He had received all sorts of help too, so he just thought he should at least express his gratitude someday.

At Ki Tae-jeong’s brusque thanks, General Oh Seon-ran rubbed his nose and sighed.

“Sometimes, you know, I’m really amazed. That I can wish for Sehwa’s happiness this purely, that these children really feel like my own child and grandchild…”

Although the inner thoughts General Oh Seon-ran suddenly revealed after being upset were a bit surprising, they weren’t incomprehensible. Rather, it seemed like something he could say because the listener was Ki Tae-jeong, not Lee Sehwa. He couldn’t voice such doubts to Sehwa, whom he considered like his own child.

“I, who still like thi and can’t forget that person, well… Sometimes it feels more… ugly than pure love. Yes, ‘ugly’ is exactly the right word. This isn’t pure love but obsession. A very desperate and pathetic one at that.”

“…”

“But the more painful fact is that I can’t ask the other person anything.”

Is it wrong that he still misses him now? Would it be too burdensome? But he loves him. He still loves him.

“I don’t even hope to hear ‘I love you.’ I want to ask if he is not in pain anymore, to tell him I didn’t want to leave him alone then, that I really didn’t know such a thing would happen… If I could just convey those words, I…”

‘I could die without regrets right now. No, even if I had to live a long time alone without being able to die, I feel like I could somehow endure it.’

General Oh Seon-ran, who seemed consumed by the longing that burst out without warning, soon shook his head briefly and came to his senses. The focus returned clearly to the old soldier’s eyes, which had been darkening and fading bone-dry.

“Ahem, anyway… as I said before, I have no desire to get along cordially with you in the future. If you ever hurt Sehwa and Hae-rim again, this time I’ll use whatever means necessary to separate you forever, so keep that in mind.”

It might hurt a bit, but in the long run it would be much better for Sehwa, General Oh Seon-ran clicked his tongue.

“Be grateful that at least the person you need to ask forgiveness from is alive, that Sehwa is enduring so well without breaking. Not to me, but to Sehwa.”

After that, he brusquely admonished him not to stop him and ask personal questions like this again, and walked steadily towards the protective room.

Ki Tae-jeong watched as he pulled his facial muscles several times, trying to smile brightly before grasping the doorknob of the protective room, then turned away. General Oh Seon-ran’s advice to be grateful that Sehwa was alive, that there was still a chance to apologize, stirred heavily inside him.

***

“Welcome, Major General.”

One of the resident sitters rushed out to the entrance of the protective room and bowed in salute. Ki Tae-jeong slowly surveyed the empty living room and froze his softening expression. He had been smiling to look good for Sehwa, not pretending to be nice to make some other guy feel good.

“Where’s Sehwa?”

There was no sign of Lee Sehwa, who would usually poke his head out hesitantly when he visited. Is he sleeping? But there wasn’t even a hint of movement from inside.

It’s not time for exercise, nor time for counseling… What’s going on? Ki Tae-jeong’s gaze instantly turned cold. Although security had been greatly enhanced since the last incident, they never knew.

“He just left for an examination,” the sitter reported politely, fidgeting.

“Examination?”

Have these bastards lost their minds… Of all things, Sehwa left for that reason and they didn’t tell him? As he was about to turn around to deal with the guys outside, the sitter shook his head and held Ki Tae-jeong back.

“Dr. Park urgently called him in for something related to his constitution. Captain Na personally escorted him, and it didn’t seem to be anything bad, so if you could just wait a bit…”

“You bastard, now…”

“It’s, it’s not a complicated test, but it wasn’t scheduled… and if Sehwa gets startled or stressed, it might be difficult to get accurate readings, so Captain Na strongly requested that if you came, we should definitely keep you here…”

The sitter had his eyes tightly shut as he said words he knew the already difficult person before him wouldn’t want to hear.

“I’m sorry, Major General.”

Ki Tae-jeong stood askew, rolling his tongue inside his cheek, then reluctantly entered the protective room. What could he do? The goal was a smooth examination, so they told him not to come barging in.

But still, damn it, they could have at least sent an alert. If it’s not complicated and not a bad thing, how hard is it to send a short report?

Ki Tae-jeong habitually checked his appearance while washing his hands. Fortunately, he looked neat. He had been busy the past few days with fighter jet and weapons inspections. It had been almost a week since he last visited the protective room.

He had sent Sehwa a few messages despite being busy, but there were no replies. Seeing that they were marked as read, it seemed he was still keeping the phone he had thrust into his hand…

As he came out of the bathroom and headed for the living room sofa, that sitter from earlier was still suspiciously lingering around the entrance. Constantly fiddling with his radio and fidgeting, it was obvious to anyone that he was hiding something.

“What are you doing?”

“Pardon?”

“I asked what you’re doing there.”

Closing the distance in an instant and grabbing the guy’s collar, Ki Tae-jeong made the sitter turn pale and tremble.

“M-Major General, that’s…”

“It’s true that I act like an idiot when it comes to Sehwa, but you’re not Sehwa, are you?”

“Ack, Major General…!”

“You little shits, I let things slide a few times and now you’re getting out of line…”

“Th-that’s not it… The radio is broken, that’s why.”

The sitter detached the thumbnail-sized receiver from his earlobe, looking wronged.

“It’s time to receive diapers and sterilized bottles for the baby, but I can’t make contact…”

The sitter stammered excuses, saying that without prior procedures, contact with the protective room was strictly prohibited, so if he didn’t make contact first, the person in charge wouldn’t even bring the supplies.

“I think I’ll have to go get them myself… If you don’t trust me, there’s General Oh Seon-ran’s direct adjutant outside, so I can go with them.”

The sitter begged in a dying voice, saying he’d go with three or four more monitors. Ki Tae-jeong clicked his tongue and released his grip on the guy’s collar.

“Th-then I’ll go quickly-“

“Wait. Then what about the baby?”

“Ah, he’s sleeping. It’s his nap time.”

‘Hey, you bastard, you call that an explanation…!’ Ki Tae-jeong, who was about to spew harsh words according to his temper, swallowed his rising irritation and asked in a small voice. It would be a big problem if the baby woke up.

“The baby could wake up. What if there’s no one here?”

“Um… He’s very calm and has a regular sleep pattern… At this time, you don’t need to worry particularly. Of course, he might wake up if his diaper gets wet, but that’s why we’re trying to replenish supplies in advance…”

The sitter timidly offered his opinion that it would be better to quickly change to a new diaper and soothe the baby even if he cried alone for a bit, rather than fretting the whole time without necessary items.

With the sitter explaining to that extent, Ki Tae-jeong had no choice but to chase him away with an indifferent nod. He didn’t forget to order Captain Park and General Oh Seon-ran’s adjutant to reinvestigate that guy’s background.

There are currently three resident sitters in the protective room, working in three shifts. He had heard they were selected talents from a professional agency, but seeing today’s incompetent behavior… he wondered if they would be of any help when Sehwa was struggling.

Ki Tae-jeong stared at his wristwatch, still showing no notifications, then buried the back of his head deep in the sofa’s headrest.

Sehwa is scheduled to be discharged in three days. The mansion General Oh Seon-ran had requisitioned was not far from the hospital and major government offices, and was famous for its excellent security system and various amenities. He knew it was a popular residential area where there were no available units even if one offered extra money, but with the Major General himself stepping in, nothing was impossible.

“…Now that it’s come to this, should I go all the way to the top?”

A promotion to Lieutenant General was guaranteed. It was originally scheduled for next year, but it looks like he’ll be changing ranks once more within the second half of this year. He had been so active everywhere before meeting Sehwa again that, regardless of his own intentions, the military’s dignity would not be upheld if they didn’t show their appreciation to him.

An early discharge was out of the question anyway…. He’d have to work even harder and seriously aim for the Lieutenant General position.

Even now, he lacked for nothing in terms of money or power, but becoming a Lieutenant General would open up a whole new world. Even if he became an elder statesman later, the influence itself would be different… Above all, since he had no family backing him up, if he climbed to the highest possible position, in the future, Sehwa…

“…Huu, uung…”

Ki Tae-jeong, who had been lost in thought while tapping the armrest with his index finger, suddenly froze.

From inside the bedroom came a presence that was impossible to ignore. Whether it was crying or laughing, it was undoubtedly the sound of a child waking up from sleep.