M 145

“You scared me…”

Glancing at the clock, exactly 5 minutes had passed since the last message.

– What were you doing that you weren’t even looking at your phone?

“I was making bread and tasting it…”

– So you’re going to open the door after you finish eating all that?

“Oh, sorry! Right now… ah, no! Wait! Really just a moment!”

Sehwa hurriedly hung up and cleaned up the cooking area. True to being a soldier, Ki Tae-jeong was quite neat and couldn’t stand seeing things scattered around the house. When there was no one to clean up, he would personally organize things himself, which made Sehwa feel unbearably uncomfortable each time. He wished he would at least scold him to clean up, but he just told him to sit still and relax instead of following him around…

Sehwa shoved all the cooking utensils into the dishwasher and roughly wiped away the flour dust with a dishrag. As he ran to the entrance, brushing his palms on his pants, Sehwa glanced at the controller panel on the wall with an “oh no.” He had told him to check before opening the door… Fortunately, he could see Ki Tae-jeong standing crookedly in front of the door.

“Sorry, sorry. I was just cleaning up a bit…”

Controlling his breathlessness from moving so quickly, he flung open the front door.

“You didn’t even ask who it was?”

Ki Tae-jeong frowned his handsome brow and scolded him.

“What? I just called you. I checked the panel too…”

“You should have asked once more anyway.”

He clicked his tongue briefly while unbuttoning his jacket.

“Did you check the vehicle number I told you about in the lobby?”

“…Ah, um… no.”

“Don’t you know that things like faces can be disguised easily?”

Did he really need to give such a terrifying example? Feeling a bit intimidated and grumbling inwardly, Sehwa suddenly remembered an incident and glanced at Ki Tae-jeong. Wait a minute. That thing just now… was he referring to when they raided the shelter together in special disguise?

“Make sure to check properly next time.”

Sehwa pressed his mouth with the back of his hand and nodded quickly. It seemed like Ki Tae-jeong was bringing it up lightly because he didn’t want to get too serious about it. He now knew well that he made this kind of prim face when he was joking.

Recently, Ki Tae-jeong would deliberately bring up past events and act casually about them, which he thought was as much a military trait as his fastidiousness.

Just as Sehwa had a slight obsession with perfect happiness, Ki Tae-jeong had a desire for restoration. Having never lost a battle, he seemed to believe that if he magnificently covered past events in a different way than before, and if Sehwa accepted it, this relationship would gradually improve.

So Ki Tae-jeong deliberately brings up the past and constantly ruminates on it, like now. At first, he thought he was doing it for him to hear. But seeing him bring up stories that even he wanted to avoid mentioning, Sehwa belatedly realized that this person was fighting with himself. That he also wanted to appeal to him that he had changed this much, that he was thinking differently.

Soldier Ki Tae-jeong’s combat method was difficult for Sehwa, a mere civilian, to understand and was somewhat overwhelming. Awkwardly smiling and turning his head away like now was Sehwa’s best response.

However, every time he brought up the past like this, the deep emotion that flickered in Ki Tae-jeong’s eyes, one that only he could read,somehow helped him endure. If stabbing thorns into his own body while dreaming of distant restoration was this man’s way of apologizing after living as a soldier his whole life, if this person who knew nothing else was doing his best in his own way, then he wanted to respect him a little too.

“Is Hae-rim not here by any chance?”

Ki Tae-jeong, who had come out after washing his hands, looked puzzled and glanced toward the bedroom. It must seem strange since there was no sign of the child, unlike usual.

“Ah, General Oh Seon-ran took him this morning.”

“Took him? Where?”

“To the General’s quarters.”

“Why? Is Hae-rim sick?”

“Oh, no. He seemed happy to spend time with Hae-rim after so long. He said he wanted to keep him for just one day…”

General Oh Seon-ran would want to keep Hae-rim for a month, not just a day, as he was absolutely smitten with the child. But actually, the reason he took the child for the day was different.

‘Even if the babysitter comes in shifts, you can’t do nothing…. Aren’t you having a hard time?’

‘I’m not having a hard time. I really don’t do anything.’

It wasn’t just a casual remark, Sehwa seriously did absolutely nothing, which was worrying. Having sitters made things physically comfortable, but he kept thinking this might not be the right thing to do. The sitters took good care of Hae-rim, but they seemed to prioritize not offending the adults, specifically Ki Tae-jeong or General Oh Seon-ran, above all else. While they were treating the child carefully, he had been thinking lately that this wasn’t necessarily all good.

Just being devoted to employers and doting on the baby wasn’t everything… Childcare wasn’t doll play where you only interact with the child when you feel like it and put them away when they cry. He wished the sitters would assist with childcare rather than taking full charge, and teach him more actively. He also wished they would boldly give harsh feedback to Ki Tae-jeong, who visited daily as the biological father…

‘Still, I thought something was wrong because you said that. You’re saying you want to reduce the number of sitters when we should be increasing them.’

General Oh Seon-ran had stopped by today because he was surprised by Sehwa’s request to use fewer people.

‘Nothing’s wrong. Everyone is doing well…. It’s just that I’m the dad, but I don’t do anything, so I felt bad.’

‘Hmm… Have you been going out lately?’

Though he had been to the hospital yesterday, Sehwa smiled awkwardly, knowing that wasn’t what General Oh Seon-ran was asking about.

‘What about baking ingredients? You’re getting all of those delivered too, right? Not going out to buy them.’

‘Oh, yes… that’s true but…’

As soon as he heard that, General Oh Seon-ran instructed the sitter to pack.

‘Sehwa, I understand what you’re worried about, but I think you should practice having your own time before reducing staff.’

‘What? I already have plenty…’

‘Taking care of Hae-rim, baking delicious bread. You’re only obsessing over those two things lately, so you think you’re not doing anything.’

So today I’ll take my grandson and play with him all day, General Oh Seon-ran said as he picked up Hae-rim.

‘I won’t watch him alone, so don’t worry. I’ll have the evening sitter come to the quarters instead of here.’

‘But still…’

‘I need to know what aspects of the sitters make you uncomfortable so I can help you.’

General Oh Seon-ran said he’d keep the child overnight at the quarters and bring him back tomorrow afternoon, and told him to rest up. General Oh Seon-ran pushed his back, telling him to please eat out.

‘Is Major General Ki Tae-jeong coming tonight?’

Knowing that General Oh Seon-ran deliberately avoided visiting during dinner time because he hated encountering him, Sehwa just nodded awkwardly.

Sehwa had cried and made all sorts of fuss in front of General Oh Seon-ran, but in the end returned to Ki Tae-jeong’s side. Every time General Oh Seon-ran pronounced his name, he felt like he was the sinner. The person in question didn’t seem to care whether General Oh Seon-ran hated him or not.

‘Right. Later, ask Major General Ki to take you somewhere nice. By the way, it seems like you two eat dinner together every day, who prepares the meals?’

‘The housekeeper prepares everything in the morning before leaving. We just have to heat it up and eat.’

‘Heating it up and putting it on the table is also work. You’re not the one doing it, are you, Sehwa?’

‘Oh, no. The Major General does it all…’

If Sehwa had said he prepared the meals, or even that they took turns, General Oh Seon-ran would have flown straight to the Air Force headquarters.

Ki Tae-jeong actually was doing it all. Even knowing that standing in front of hot burners and ovens was his hobby, Ki Tae-jeong couldn’t stand seeing Sehwa wandering around the kitchen for reasons other than baking.

‘He says it’s dangerous and does all that work himself. He’s much faster and neater at cleaning up than me, and also…’

‘Even so, heating things up is just something smart machines do automatically. He should be personally cooking and serving rice if anything. Tsk tsk.’

General Oh Seon-ran clicked his tongue disapprovingly. While not letting Sehwa even touch those smart machines that do everything automatically.

‘Anyway, today go to a nice place, no, it doesn’t have to be nice, just eat near home, and on your way back, buy me some chocolate. Getting older makes me crave sweets.’

He said to always buy some for when he visits Hae-rim, and pressed a credit card into his hand.

‘No, it’s okay.”

Sehwa naturally tried not to accept it. Even if he went somewhere with Ki Tae-jeong, he didn’t want to receive spending money for their meal.

‘Take it. I don’t want to eat chocolate bought with Major General Ki Tae-jeong’s money. I freely spend that slippery guy’s money on other things.’

But he couldn’t pretend not to notice General Oh Seon-ran’s consideration in making various excuses to make him feel as little burden as possible, so Sehwa had no choice but to accept the credit card.

‘Then… I’ll look around and buy the most delicious chocolate.’

‘Good. Buy the most delicious and expensive one.’

General Oh Seon-ran smiled, saying he’d look forward to it. Then he asked Hae-rim in his arms, ‘Your daddy is really kind, isn’t he?’ The baby, who could now hold his head up well and recognize people, laughed happily at the kind grandfather’s voice.