M 170

I bought a new diary to celebrate the New Year.

I flipped through my old diary, and although it’s embarrassing, I think I’ve improved a lot compared to before. (Spelling and spacing are still difficult, and I often get things mixed up)

Anyway, I went to visit General Oh Seon-ran’s residence on January 1st!

Thanks to the rice cake soup he made himself, my stomach felt warm.

And while we were eating dessert, Hae-rim, who has recently become interested in electronic devices, took pictures of the adults with the Lieutenant General’s phone!

I was worried it might be too heavy for a baby, but maybe it’s because his development is extraordinary…?

Hae-rim easily gripped the phone and played with it well the whole time.

Well, who would see Hae-rim as his age… He really is big, even to me.

After returning to our residence, the three of us sat on the sofa and took time to say at least one goal we wanted to achieve this year. (Of course, Hae-rim was a wildcard)

The Lieutenant General said he would find a new hobby other than exercise, and Hae-rim said he would become a dinosaur.

At first, I just thought it was cute because he didn’t seem to understand what the Lieutenant General was asking, but after writing in my diary and thinking about it carefully, maybe Hae-rim really wants to become a dinosaur.

My goal this year is to gain about 3kg.

And I’m going to live hard in the new year so that I can fill my diary with things I’m grateful for and happy things every day!

While we were eating dinner, Hae-rim suddenly called the Lieutenant General ‘Big Dad’!

Then he called me ‘Little Dad’!

He usually just calls us both ‘Dad’ and we’ve been distinguishing who he’s calling by guessing, but maybe he’s a little older now?

Maybe it’s become inconvenient for him.

Anyway, I was curious, so I asked if there was a reason he started distinguishing us like that, and he said Big Dad is this big, and Little Dad is a little smaller than Big Dad.

Was he worried that I would be upset because he said I was small?

He narrowed the space between his thumb and forefinger, saying Little Dad is only this much smaller, so don’t worry, and his eyes crinkled as he did so, making it look like he was winking, which was so cute.

The Lieutenant General didn’t show it, but he seemed quite touched by Hae-rim’s calling him that.

Before, he seemed to think, ‘Does he even know what he’s saying when he calls me Dad?’ but now that he clearly pointed him out as Dad, he was visibly excited.

I felt a little emotional for some reason.

♥Today’s grateful thing: Hae-rim is smarter than I think, and I’m so grateful that he doesn’t get frustrated with his foolish dad and loves me.

♥Today’s happy thing: I was happy to see the Lieutenant General excited by Hae-rim’s calling him that!

There was nothing special today.

The Lieutenant General also had a day off, so he was going to go out and play with Hae-rim, but it was so cold that the whole family just lazed around at home from morning till night.

The Lieutenant General made breakfast, and the Lieutenant General bought delicious food for lunch and dinner, so I didn’t do anything.

He just went out with Hae-rim to buy ice cream, so I’m reading a book and writing in my diary in the quiet house.

Later, I’ll peel tangerines and cut apples for the Lieutenant General and Hae-rim.

After we finish eating snacks, we’ll stand in a row and brush our teeth, then snuggle up in the blankets and fall asleep.

I spent the day so lazily that when I think about what I did today, I don’t really remember anything, but still… no, that’s why, it was a happy day.

♥Today’s grateful thing: I’m grateful to be able to be with my family in a warm house on such a cold day.

♥Today’s happy thing: I was really happy to hear Hae-rim laughing and giggling while hanging on the Lieutenant General’s side.

For Hae-rim’s third birthday, we all went to General Oh Seon-ran’s cherished garden.

Like we did at his first birthday party, I brought a lot of bread and cookies that I baked, and Hae-rim’s dinosaur doll, and felt like we were on a picnic.

He didn’t tell me, but I roughly knew that the place was related to Lee Jin-woo… that is, the person who gave birth to me.

And that he and General Oh Seon-ran were very close….

Anyway, after singing Happy Birthday to Hae-rim, I called General Oh Seon-ran… Father, for the first time.

The General, no, Father, opened his eyes wide and just swallowed his breath for a long time, then shed tears.

I vaguely expected that he would like it, but I didn’t think he would cry so much….

And I was sorry.

Why did I hesitate so long with such an easy call?

I should have called him sooner if I had known he would be so happy that he would cry.

I was also going to tell him that I wanted to do anything together for the memorial service or prayer for the person who gave birth to me, but Oh Father cried so much that I decided to postpone this conversation.

Now that I think about it, it doesn’t seem like mourning is my place.

Because Father is the only person in the world who remembers him, I just want to be by his side when he is ready.

And I’m going to ask Father to tell me a lot about him.

If I hear it often, I think it will feel natural to call him Father, just like Oh Seon-ran, instead of ‘that person’ or ‘the person who gave birth to me’….

♥Today’s grateful thing: Hae-rim is healthy and strong and celebrated his third birthday!

♥Today’s happy thing: General Oh Seon-ran, no, Father, was so happy to be called ‘Father’….

From today, Hae-rim will receive gifted education operated by the Three Services Academy.

They said it’s a kindergarten-like institution, so they don’t do anything great, but still… Hae-rim is only four years old….

He’s a little taller than his peers and speaks well, but he’s still a baby.

When I first received the recommendation, I was worried that he was too young to receive such education. (Actually, I’m still a little worried)

However, Hae-rim has outstanding talent, and I accepted the advice of many people that such a child can grow more stably when he is with experts who are at his level, so I decided to send him once.

Father showed a positive reaction to Hae-rim’s admission from the beginning, but surprisingly, the Lieutenant General strongly opposed it.

If Hae-rim wants to become a soldier of his own will later, he will actively support him then, but he is too young to set foot in the military now, and there is no need to do so already….

As a result of several consultations with experts, including military doctors, the Lieutenant General also admitted that receiving gifted education at the academy was the way to go for Hae-rim (he already knew what was right rationally, but he seemed to be blindly opposed because he was worried about Hae-rim), but I’m not sure either.

Will the training center really help Hae-rim?

Hae-rim seemed happy, not knowing how his dad felt.

He said he was excited to wear clothes similar to the Lieutenant General’s and spun around in front of the mirror several times.

For the time being, I’ll have to carefully check whether Hae-rim is adapting well to the training center.

♥Today’s grateful thing: With the help of the Lieutenant General and many other grateful people, I was able to find an educational course that suits Hae-rim, who is a little more special than other children.

I’m still thinking a lot about whether sending him to the training center was the right thing to do, but apart from that, I’m really grateful that I was given the opportunity and that I didn’t miss it.

If I had raised him alone, I wouldn’t have been able to take care of him so meticulously.

♥Today’s happy thing: When Hae-rim stopped before entering the training center and ran back to me and the Lieutenant General and hugged us tightly….

I don’t think I’ll ever forget Hae-rim’s hug, his warm body, as he ran to me with all his might.