M 175

‘And since my birthday is in March, there were so many people who teased and tormented me using flowers. So, I ended up hating flowers for no reason, too. But you know….’

His voice grew softer towards the end, and I couldn’t hear the last sentence, but I felt like I knew what he wanted to say. That he didn’t anymore, that he liked flowers now. I remembered the day I was captivated by the fluttering colorful petals that mirrored Sehwa’s lips, unable to tear my gaze away from their delicate movements.

Shit, am I really going to get all sentimental about Lee Sehwa over just a few flower petals? Ki Tae-jeong thought to himself that he was really in deep as he opened Sehwa’s secret diary. And… he stood there rooted to the spot for a long time.

Sehwa’s simple wish to have more people he cherished and loved, Sehwa’s innocent affection that he would be brave because Lieutenant General was by his side, stirred up emotions that Ki Tae-jeong couldn’t describe.

How can you be so kind?

How can you be so lovable?

And how can you love… me so much?

Since then, Ki Tae-jeong had been uncharacteristically wavering. He didn’t want to allow any variables that would risk Lee Sehwa’s life, so he shouldn’t even consider a second child. But Sehwa’s excitement and anticipation, which he could feel even in the neatly written letters, and his fluttery wish to start a family with him, kept shaking Ki Tae-jeong’s heart.

‘Lieutenant General, I heard you were looking for me.’

‘Ah, yes. It’s about… Sehwa.’

‘Yes.’

Captain Na, looking extremely nervous, rummaged through the tablet and opened Lee Sehwa’s chart. It was the first time he had seen his superior speak with such a troubled and hesitant expression.

‘It’s nothing much, but recently Sehwa… wants to have a child, a second one, that is.’

‘Oh, the Madam does? Really?’

‘Yeah. I cut him off, telling him not to say ridiculous things and to think about his own body. If Sehwa grabs you later and starts talking nonsense, talk him out of it nicely.’

‘Ah… should I talk him out of it?’

‘Should you talk him out of it? Are you crazy? Think about Lee Sehwa’s body.’

‘But actually, the Madam’s condition is much better than when he had Hae-rim, um, I’m sorry…. Anyway, it’s much better than back then.’

‘Shit, I’m telling you it’s not good enough just because it’s much better. Let’s say he has a child, how are we going to do the surgery? Are we going to use A7 again?’

‘Ah, yes. Of course, I’m considering that part as well. Since there are no other cases, I’ve been observing the Madam’s condition with great care in various situations and in various ways….’

The wavering heart returned to square one. Captain Na’s words, ‘Since there are no other cases,’ felt like a hard slap on the back of his head. He was a fool for wavering even for a moment.

‘I don’t need to hear any more, don’t fill Sehwa with false hope. Got it?’

‘Yes, I understand.’

Ki Tae-jeong shook his head firmly and stood up. It was absolutely impossible. Lee Sehwa was the only person in the world whose body had a rare constitution that filtered out toxins, and who had been changed into an ordinary person by injecting A7. How could he trust the optimism that there would be no problems even if he had abdominal surgery? Besides, the data hadn’t been accumulated for decades. It had only been a few years since they started tracking and observing him….

‘Lieutenant Na.’

‘Cough, Lieutenant… Sorry, Lieutenant General. I didn’t expect you to come so suddenly…. Have you had dinner?’

‘When should I quit smoking and drinking?’

‘…Pardon?’

‘When having a child.’

‘I… I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you’re talking about….’

‘I think I heard that you should refrain from drinking or smoking for at least a few months before trying to have a baby, or something like that.’

‘Ah, yes… It’s good if you don’t, but those are old wives’ tales, so you don’t have to worry too much about it. After all, there’s an independent immune system inside the incubator, and also—’

‘So, it’s better to quit, right?’

‘Well, that’s true, but….’

But.

‘Captain Na.’

‘Lieutenant General? What brings you here….’

‘I think I need to adjust the cycle of my injections.’

‘Are you talking about the contraceptive injections?’

‘Yeah. My body doesn’t seem exactly normal either, so I can’t just rely on that. I think I’d feel safe if I got them twice a day.’

‘Um… but you haven’t had any problems so far, and you’re taking the medicine separately, aren’t you? More than that, getting injections more often doesn’t make them more effective. You know that.’

‘What if something happens?’

‘I guarantee that won’t happen, but if you’re still worried, the Madam could also….’

‘Are you kidding me? Are you telling me to have Lee Sehwa get contraceptive injections or take birth control pills right now?’

‘…I’m sorry.’

‘Draw my blood, tear off my flesh, do whatever you want, but find another way.’

‘What other way… Are you perhaps talking about a new method of contraception?’

‘Then what the fuck, would I be asking for a way to get Lee Sehwa pregnant?’

‘…Yes, I’m sorry.’

After that, Ki Tae-jeong.

‘It’d be better to tie it up.’

‘Yes? Who?’

‘The vas deferens.’

‘The vas deferens who… Ah…. Ah, yes….’

‘I looked into it roughly, and it seems like it would be okay if I kept getting the injections as usual and even tied it up completely, right?’

‘Considering Lieutenant General’s recovery ability, well. There are often cases where a vasectomy is reversed. More than that, a vasectomy also requires the spouse’s consent.’

‘I’m a general, you know? Does a Lieutenant General need such consent?’

‘Yes? So, you’re going to have the surgery without the Madam’s consent?’

‘Then should I ask Sehwa about something like that?’

‘Um… well, the consent itself can be omitted in various ways, but if the Madam finds out later, he’ll be very upset. No matter how simple it is, surgery is surgery, and if the spouse proceeds without consulting….’

‘How would Sehwa know? He’s so kind that he says it’s okay to hand over his phone or watch for me to look at my records.’

‘Well, even if the Madam is like that, it might reach General Oh Seon-ran’s ears, wouldn’t it? No, I’m sure it will. An officer’s unusual history is permanently stored on the military server.’

‘What the fuck….’

‘Still, I’ll look into it once.’

Uncharacteristically unable to get a grip.

‘Captain Na.’

‘Yes, Lieutenant General.’

‘What’s the probability?’

‘Yes, the research institute is currently working on this biochemical weapon—’

‘No, not that. What’s the probability that Lee Sehwa won’t get hurt even if he has a second child?’

‘…Pardon?’

‘You have the data, right?’

‘Ah… uh, yes. But I can’t guarantee that he won’t get hurt at all….’

‘What? You said Sehwa would be okay?’

‘That’s true, but—’

‘You said Sehwa’s body is much better than before. Didn’t you say he could have surgery without using A7?’

‘Yes, that’s right. But Lieutenant General, no surgery can guarantee 100%…. If you ask me the probability that his body won’t get hurt at all, I can’t answer as a medical officer. I’m sorry….’

‘…Shit. Yeah, that’s why I’ve been….’