M 184

Lee Sehwa puffed out his cheeks and exhaled a long breath. His face was buried in the blanket, making sounds like a child playing.

He shouldn’t keep thinking like this. Should I write in my diary today? But… there’s nothing to be grateful for today. Nothing happy either….

He tried screaming into the blanket, but his mood didn’t improve in the slightest. If anything, the smell of the alcohol he’d spilled earlier wafted up, making him dizzy. After struggling alone for a while, Sehwa felt a cool breeze on his bare legs. He rubbed one calf against the other, then chuckled at the contrast of his body being warm on top and cool below.

“What’s so funny?”

“…Nngh…”

His eyes wouldn’t open properly, so he kept burying his face in the bedding and rolling around. Every time he opened his mouth, the fabric of the duvet crunched between his teeth. Feeling like a goat, Sehwa nibbled on the blanket a few times before quickly growing tired and turning his head.

With one cheek pressed against the bed, he breathed heavily, and sleep started to come. The vibrating dildo was still buzzing. The large hand patting his thigh was warm, and the sharp scent of perfume, like it carried the outside wind….

“…Huh?”

Huh…? It’s not the smell of alcohol, it’s perfume… why?

“Hah…!”

His eyes snapped open. Sehwa tried to sit up, but he almost fell forward when his knee pressed down on the hem of his shirt.

“Lee Sehwa.”

Fortunately, a familiar hand caught him, preventing him from smashing his nose. …No, not fortunate, but unfortunate.

“You’re currently….”

Sehwa, who had been frozen like someone had pressed the pause button, belatedly scrambled to his feet.

“Lieu, Lieutenant General…? When, when did you get here?”

“…When you were screaming into the blanket with your mouth covered.”

“Th-that’s….”

Why did he have to come in at that moment? And if he came home, or at least opened the door, he should have made some noise. Sehwa couldn’t bring himself to scold him out loud and instead tried to fix his disheveled appearance. He wiped the drool from his mouth and frantically pressed down on the unruly side hair that stood up like dandelion seeds. But Ki Tae-jeong didn’t seem to notice any of that.

“Haa….”

With his long fingers, Ki Tae-jeong pressed hard on both of his temples with one hand, then swept back his hair. His fiery gaze swept over the plastic wrappers and various adult products scattered on the bed, the bottle of alcohol on the bedside table, and Sehwa’s bare legs.

Ah…. Crouched on the bed like a four-legged beast, Sehwa’s mind racing. Only then did he realize that his messy appearance wasn’t the problem, and he shrank back slightly. He didn’t mean to, but his hips gradually lowered until he was kneeling.

Ki Tae-jeong, his mouth set in a firm line, flipped up a corner of the blanket and rolled up the alcohol soaked part. He also easily turned off the buzzing dildo. Watching Ki Tae-jeong find the small button on the bottom so easily, Sehwa felt a surge of spite.

Unaware that the shape of the dildo would be fully visible from his angle, he replayed the words that Second Lieutenant Kwon had been spouting. His alcohol soaked brain turned vague suggestions into certainties and assumptions into established facts.

“…It’s because of you, Lieutenant General.”

“What?”

Sehwa managed to pinpoint the flow of his gaze just from the slight tremor in his body. He felt a surge of emotion at the sound of Ki Tae-jeong’s long sigh and ended up raising his voice.

Everything was ruined. He had meticulously planned for this moment, even watching videos and taking notes, but it was all ruined.

“Why won’t you do it?”

Warning lights were flashing in his head, telling him to shut his mouth, but unrefined, immature words poured out before he could stop them.

“Is it because I said I wanted a second child that you’re not trying to do it these days? Are you avoiding it because you’re worried something might happen, because you’re worried about having a baby, is that right?”

“…You seem a little drunk right now, so after you sober up tomorrow-.”

“You used to just do it before.”

Sehwa bit his lip and resolutely raised his head. He didn’t like his polite kneeling posture, so he tried to stretch out his legs but lost his balance and ended up falling flat on his back. He would have fallen to the floor if Ki Tae-jeong hadn’t quickly caught him again.

“Wait a minute. Isn’t this H1?”

“……”

“Lee Sehwa, did you drink alcohol and take medicine?”

“……”

“Are you crazy? Where did you get the medicine-.”

“Yeah! I took it, so what!”

His tongue was twisted, so the pronunciation was closer to ‘yea’ than ‘yeah,’ which bothered him a little, but Ki Tae-jeong didn’t seem to notice. He was a man who would have teased him a hundred times for talking like a child, but he was silent, so he must not have noticed. Or maybe he was so lost in thought that he didn’t even pay attention….

“Let’s go to the hospital first.”

“No! I heard everything from my father!”

“From General Oh Seon-ran? What?”

“Every, everything!”

Ki Tae-jeong, who had been rolling his tongue around the inside of his cheek as if contemplating something, wore a look of exhaustion as if he had belatedly realized something.

“You misunderstood.”

“……”

“The vasectomy, I wasn’t really going to do it… I was just throwing the idea out to Captain Na because I had a lot of concerns-.”

“…Surgery, you said?”

Sehwa’s eyes widened as if they were about to pop out.

“Why…? Are you sick somewhere…? Wait a minute.”

Wait, wait a minute. A deep frown furrowed his fair brow. Sehwa tilted his head, his face etched with lines. Vasectomy? I know that word, right? I definitely know what it means….

“Vas… vasectomy…?”

Ah, now I remember. That….

“…Wasn’t that what we were talking about?”

That thing, completely cutting off, tying up that area, so that you don’t get pregnant even if you have sex without taking medicine or using condoms…. Sehwa’s face turned pale and then flushed red. He felt even hotter than before.

“Sehwa, calm down.”

Finally realizing his mistake, Ki Tae-jeong sat beside him and tried to soothe him, but Sehwa just pushed him away stubbornly. He felt betrayed and shuddered. Surgery? Surgery…!

“As if not following the dosage for the pills and injection wasn’t enough… you were going to get surgery, too?”

“Ah, the medicine….”

Ki Tae-jeong swallowed a low groan, finally realizing what Sehwa had heard from General Oh Seon-ran.

“Um, that’s….”

“Shut up!”

A stinging sensation welled up in his nose, and Sehwa covered his face with his sleeve. He didn’t realize that the fabric was so thin that the tear stains were still visible, and he tried to contain the tears that had burst out after a long time.

“You told me… that just imagining me on an operating table made your blood, hiccup, run cold….”

Sehwa had planned to buy some reasonably good alcohol, set the mood, and lead the conversation like an adult. He had read books and watched videos, practicing several times… but that wasn’t the important thing. This man was looking into surgical methods without even telling him….

“Lee Sehwa.”

“Why do you keep calling me that…, eugh!”

He was annoyed by the way he was calling his name like he was scolding a child, so he raised his head to protest, only to headbutt Ki Tae-jeong, who had suddenly approached. He was sure he was the one who had rammed him, so why did it feel like only he was hurting? Sehwa rubbed his throbbing forehead and sniffled.

“Stay still. You fall over so easily….”

Ki Tae-jeong firmly held Sehwa’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. So persistently and resolutely that even Sehwa, who had been constantly averting his gaze out of embarrassment and sadness, gave up on escaping.

“When you said you wanted a second child, I also had a lot of thoughts, and I changed my mind several times a day.”

Ki Tae-jeong wiped away the tears that had welled up in Sehwa’s eyes with his bent index finger. Sehwa grumbled inwardly, feeling somewhat embarrassed. Did he think that if he looked at him like that, he would just let it go, saying, “What, did I do something wrong?”

“I asked Captain Na how to plan a pregnancy, then I asked if the contraception methods I’ve been using so far were correct… but then, when I thought about your health, it seemed like something that should never happen, so I even said that it might be better for me to get the procedure.”

Sehwa, who had been breathing heavily, his shoulders rising and falling sharply, opened his eyes wide again at the last part. If you call surgery a procedure, does that mean it’s not surgery? Does this man think I’m stupid because I’m uneducated…!

“I had no intention of doing it without telling you. And we’re married anyway, so I can’t hide it. You need your spouse’s consent to do anything at the hospital.”

“……”

“And the medicine… yeah, I was short sighted.”