M 187

Lee Sehwa roughly wiped away the tears flowing down his ear. This should be enough. All the jealousy and resentment he had been harboring… He had vented it all on Ki Tae-jeong, so it was right for him to back down now.

“I don’t have any pent-up feelings anymore. I really don’t need a second child. Really.”

“……”

“But Lieutenant General, I hope you won’t take too much medicine on your own in the future.”

“……”

“It really upsets me whenever you do that.”

You said the mere thought of me on the operating table again made your blood run cold, but my heart aches when I think of you, who couldn’t even get on the operating table

Sehwa’s voice, whispering as if complaining, was endlessly fragile and precarious, as if it would disappear at any moment.

Irreversible. Lee Sehwa, embraced in Ki Tae-jeong’s arms, recalled a word from a Buddhist book he had seen before. He thought the sound of the word was somehow cool, and wondered if he could write it in his diary, so he looked it up in the dictionary and found that it meant ‘something that does not easily change according to changes in the surrounding environment.’

After knowing the meaning, it was too grand a word to use just anywhere, so he had kept it in his heart ever since, but now it seemed he had found the right use for it. This love, this heart, is irreversible.

“…I won’t.”

Ki Tae-jeong, who had been speechless for a moment, only opening and closing his mouth, licked away Sehwa’s tears that had burst like a dam and nodded. At first, the nod was slight, but then it became so vigorous that Sehwa’s cheek was pressed and pushed.

“I won’t take medicine according to my own guesses anymore. I’ll get my shots exactly on schedule, too.”

“You promise…?”

“Yeah.”

So don’t cry because of me, darling. With Ki Tae-jeong’s voice gently soothing him, his vision became dizzy and tangled. While they were mixing tongues as if they would die if they didn’t kiss, Sehwa unknowingly took a position on top of him.

“Ungh, mmph…”

Whenever he felt like tears would burst out even while kissing, Ki Tae-jeong gently soothed him. The method was so intense and lewd that there was no time to cry and wail. Ki Tae-jeong played with the wet flesh like a shaft. He was shoving his tongue so far into his mouth that it was hard to tell whether they were kissing or having sex.

“Hmmph, Lieutenant… General, slow… down…”

“You think I can?”

“Ah…!”

Ki Tae-jeong, who bit Sehwa’s lower lip slightly, chewed onhis tear-stained, flushed cheeks and the nape of his neck. It hadn’t been long since they had last been intimate, but the heat that swept savagely below his belly couldn’t be explained by that reason alone.

He felt like he was losing his mind because of Lee Sehwa, who had thought of a name for their second child while thinking of him, and because of Lee Sehwa, who was shedding thick tears while worrying about his condition, which even he didn’t care about.

“Con, doms…”

Sehwa wriggled his body, having regained a little reason while panting like a dog with his lips buried in the hollow of his collarbone.

“Maybe over there… Heu, eungh…!”

He pressed down on Sehwa’s soft body, which was reaching for the side table, and greedily grabbed his dry chest. As he rubbed the entire breast while touching the nipples between his fingers, Sehwa seemed to climax lightly just from that.

“I… don’t know either.”

When he twisted the plump, raised nipples as if pinching them and then swept them with his thumb, Sehwa’s head snapped back. Seeing him go limp and tremble, it was clear this was a more intense reaction than usual. The fact that he wasn’t the only one on the verge of going crazy made Ki Tae-jeong very happy.

“I know it’s not something to decide recklessly, swept away by emotions, but—”

Ki Tae-jeong carelessly massaged the white skin, smooth with sweat, and pressed his lips close to Sehwa’s ear.

“…Should we just try it today?”

“Try… what?”

A different kind of light flickered belatedly in Sehwa’s eyes, which had been somewhat dazed by the rising sensitivity. He understood what Ki Tae-jeong meant by those words a beat late.

“Really… really?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay? Really? What if a second child, a baby… is born….”

“Well. I know I’ll definitely regret it tomorrow, but….”

Ki Tae-jeong pressed his lips firmly against Sehwa’s red, sore eyes as if stamping a seal.

“It’s strange. Today, I just want to do whatever you want.”

“……”

“…I feel like I have to.”

Sehwa unknowingly tried to smile broadly, but then pressed his lips together as if he shouldn’t. Still, he seemed to be excited, his cheeks flushed with rose color, and he looked up at Ki Tae-jeong, hesitating and asking several times. Was he really okay, wouldn’t he regret it? If Sehwa had a tail, it would have been spinning loudly like a propeller.

He wasn’t usually one to express his emotions so directly. Was it because the alcohol hadn’t worn off yet? Sehwa was so happy, like a young puppy who had stepped on the first snow, that he didn’t know what to do.

“What are you so happy about? It’s not like you’re guaranteed to have a baby just because we do it without a condom now.”

“That’s true, but….”

Sehwa mumbled and pondered for a moment, then opened his mouth as if to say something and snuggled into Ki Tae-jeong’s arms. His pressed white cheek squished slightly. It wasn’t a selfish desire, it wasn’t a plea, it was pure joy itself.

Perhaps he was excited because he could imagine having a second child, or perhaps he was touched that Ki Tae-jeong had listened to his words.

Ah, this is really unfair. Ki Tae-jeong barely swallowed his heated breath. Still, he believed that nothing would happen because of the medicine and shots he had taken so far. He had just wanted to indulge him since Sehwa wanted it so much… but seeing him so happy, Ki Tae-jeong, who had to keep his balance, kept tilting his heart.

Wouldn’t it be okay? Captain Na and the military doctors were sure that nothing would happen, so should he try for a second child… once?

“…Just in case, keep going to the hospital diligently in the future.”

Ki Tae-jeong’s lips, which had been pursed in a straight line as if he was in trouble, eventually collapsed. Well…. How could he ever win against Lee Sehwa?

“Don’t get sick.”

“Yes…! I will. I’m really healthy. Really.”

“If it doesn’t happen, you’re giving up right away. Got it?”

When he threatened him not to even dream of IVF or anything like that, Sehwa smiled with a clear face, saying that he didn’t want that much. Truly, oblivious to the turmoil in the other’s heart.

“I’ll eat a lot, take my medicine well, and exercise every day. If necessary, I’ll go to the hospital every day and show you the records….”

“Okay. Then, honey.”

“Yes?”

Ki Tae-jeong lifted Lee Sehwa’s chin with his index finger, as if he’d completely forgotten they had been panting with their tongues entwined just moments ago. Then, he lightly bit his ear, which was flushed with a different kind of excitement, and whispered with a bit of mischief.

“We should try using those things you bought, shouldn’t we?”

It was time to sternly punish his young spouse, who always loved him, cherished him, and yearned for him, but who had surprised him by listening to the nonsense of some random guy.