M 208

Side Story 3 Episode 11

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“And Lieutenant General’s wishes are unrealistic from the start.”

“Why?”

“Lieutenant General is eight years older than me, you know?”

“Ah, shit. That’s right.”

“Of course, my body is much… no, that’s not it… There’s no order in who goes first, but…”

There was an unsettling hesitation between ‘much’ and ‘no.’ It was obvious. Lee Sehwa probably meant to say that Ki Tae-jeong’s body is older than his, but swallowed it down. Not because he was reluctant to mention that Ki Tae-jeong would die sooner this time, but because he didn’t want Ki Tae-jeong to be hurt by a thoughtless joke.

“Don’t you dare talk nonsense again.”

So Ki Tae-jeong also decided to act as if it were nothing. He playfully pinched and released Sehwa’s cheek, and only then did he smile slightly, as if relieved. It was a clear, transparent face that seemed like it would shatter at any moment.

“I’m serious. You can’t leave me alone, Lieutenant General.”

“Alright. I’ll go the day after you’re gone.”

At Ki Tae-jeong’s arrogant attitude, as if he were making a great concession, Sehwa was momentarily dumbfounded. What is he even saying…?

“Yeah, this seems like a better plan.”

The way he added that, as if admiring it, was also infuriatingly annoying. Still, Sehwa obediently nodded for now. Ki Tae-jeong was the type to jump at a joke and make a big deal out of it. Sehwa knew all too well now that it was better to end the conversation appropriately before Ki Tae-jeong, who would take things seriously if he responded with things like ‘Don’t say that’ or ‘I don’t want to,’ presented him with another troublesome document like a certificate or something.

“So, did you finish writing the letter?”

“I have to write a new one. Lieutenant General smudged it when you turned around… Oh, no! It’s torn?”

“Let’s write it again. I’ll wait.”

An unidentifiable emotion swirled on Ki Tae-jeong’s face as he offered his broad back again without complaint, and Sehwa was mesmerized, blinking for a while. It was clearly a fleeting moment, but he couldn’t pretend not to notice. Love, pity, affection, regret… How could he ignore those eyes, where all the feelings Ki Tae-jeong could give Lee Sehwa were carefully selected and contained, only the harmless ones?

“Hey, Lieutenant General.”

“Yeah.”

“…Thank… you.”

“For what?”

“For saying you’ll die after me.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Smiling weakly at the nonchalant reply, Lee Sehwa carefully put away the previous letter, ruined by an unexpected accident, and took out a new piece of paper. He knew it was beyond human control, but he liked that he would at least say such things.

As he gently stroked the ink stain, where unsightly streaks were drawn across the shirt, the muscles that had cracked like mountain ranges along the path of Sehwa’s fingers flared up. Watching Ki Tae-jeong’s solid torso, which repeatedly rose and fell in a steady rhythm, Lee Sehwa suddenly realized that he had become accustomed to even this man’s way of breathing.

He was a little surprised that he suddenly brought up not dying first… but somehow, he didn’t dislike the feeling. He had never once doubted that they loved each other. He was also certain that the depth of their feelings was the same. But he didn’t know that this love would become so colorful, to the point where he wanted to decide the order of closing their eyes in advance, to the point where his body remembered even the other person’s breath.

How much more, and in what ways, will he live, loving and being loved? Sehwa pressed down on his chest, trying to calm his heart, which was pounding foolishly with a new expectation.

“Honey.”

Perhaps noticing that he was only thinking about other things instead of writing the letter, the man, who was like an unshakeable mountain and would be fine even if he begged to write letters all night long, called Sehwa softly.

“Yes, I’ll write it now. Please wait a little longer.”

“No, not that, but Hae-rim and Haet-sal… I mean, Hae-rim and San-ho.”

Ki Tae-jeong said in a whisper, with a cozy voice as if he were having a good dream. Perhaps it was because he realized that the man’s laughter, which was deeply embedded in every word, had also become very familiar. For some reason, Sehwa felt like he was about to burst into tears.

“Let’s just keep them even when we become grandfathers.”

“Haha, should we?”

“Yeah. What marriage for those little ones? We should just keep them with us.”

“Yes. I like that.”

A dreamlike happiness was also present in Sehwa’s giggling voice. Blood droplets dripped from his lips, which had dried out from his unintended long hospital stay, but Sehwa was no longer in pain or tormented by nausea. It was a day when he was glad to be alive, because Ki Tae-jeong, who he was sure would somehow stop this bleeding, was by his side.

***

“Daddy….”

“Okay.”

“Put me down, pwease. I wanna get down..”

“Do you want to walk?”

“Uh-huh…, yesh.”

Normally, he would have teased the child for a while, asking if he didn’t like being held by his big dad, and playfully kissed his cheeks and chin. But now, there was even a sense of determination on Hae-rim’s face as he demanded to be put down from his arms so he could walk on his own, and Ki Tae-jeong willingly complied with the child’s wishes. Was he trying to look brave in his own way because he was about to meet his little dad?

“Big Dad, it’s today. We’re going to see Little Dad today, right?”

“That’s right, Little Dad is being discharged.”

Today was finally the day Sehwa was coming home. It took over a month and two weeks to receive a diagnosis that he was well enough to be discharged.

Starting from the day he said he wanted to write a letter to Hae-rim, Sehwa gradually regained his appetite, and his retching also decreased significantly. He was still very sensitive to certain smells, but it wasn’t enough to significantly interfere with his daily life. Of course, he would have to be carefully cared for in the future, but compared to when he first collapsed, Lee Sehwa was flying these days.

“Discharged…”

Hae-rim mumbled a few times, trying not to pronounce ‘dis’ as ’tis.’

“Tis, no no, dis-charged, tis, not tis, dis-chaaarged…. Little Dad, tis, dis-charged, conglatulations….”

Every time he took a small step, the lights on the shoes that the child cherished most flashed brightly. He suddenly declared that he would dress nicely because he was going to pick up his little dad, and when told to do as he pleased, the first son, whose self-assertion was gradually growing stronger, had left the house in a ridiculous combination. He wore the uniform of the gifted education center, wore the beret, hung the badges he received from the education center on both sides of his chest, and carried a yellow dinosaur bag on his back, and the sneakers lit up in various colors with every step he took.

It was an outfit that couldn’t be called harmonious even as a joke, but Hae-rim, who had carefully selected his favorite things because he wanted to look pretty to his little dad, whom he was meeting after a long time, was admirable and lovely. Above all, Ki Tae-jeong and Lee Sehwa were hedgehog dads who would shower Lee Hae-rim with praise that he looked like a model even if he showed up wearing only his underwear.