M 98

“It’s time to go now.”

A long car glided in, weaving between the densely packed containers like a forest. It looked similar to the car they took when first coming to the 5-Star hotel, but slightly larger.

“To our home.”

Long fingers stroked the nape of Sehwa’s neck. Ki Tae-jeong rubbed his skin with his nails raised as if making scratch marks, then lightly tapped the collar around his neck as if satisfied.

“Our home.” 

The heavy weight of the metal, and his feather-light voice, echoed through Sehwa’s empty insides.

***

“I’ll administer the mildest vitamins, sedatives, and painkillers. The effects may be minimal, but… it’s safer to take stronger recovery drugs like H3 after a thorough examination.”

Lieutenant Na, whom he hadn’t seen in a while, was momentarily speechless upon seeing Sehwa. Especially when he noticed the suspicious object constricting his neck, he seemed ready to confront Ki Tae-jeong immediately.

It was Sehwa who stopped Lieutenant Na. He shook his head slightly, signaling with his eyes not to intervene. Regrettably, it was for Sehwa’s own sake rather than Lieutenant Na. If a scene unfolded where Lieutenant Na was threatened right before his eyes, he didn’t know what it would do to his mind.

“Do you have a splint?” Ki Tae-jeong, sitting beside him and watching Lieutenant Na’s busy movements, abruptly asked. 

It wasn’t a question of availability, but an order to produce one immediately.

“Ah, yes. Here it is. And Sehwa, while we’re on the topic, even if it’s determined you can take recovery drugs, it’s best to keep the cast or splint on.”

Ki Tae-jeong received gauze, some medications, bandages, and a splint, then firmly grasped Sehwa’s calf. As if mocking him for trying not to meet his gaze despite being so close, he turned his body sideways and placed his leg on his solid thigh.

“You know from previous experience, right? Even if the body heals, the brain might not accept it. Especially since Sehwa isn’t a soldier used to these experiences… the actual perception of recovery will be much slower.”

Lieutenant Na cautiously advised that phantom pain isn’t limited to amputation patients. It wasn’t wrong. Even if twisted bones realign and wounds heal with new skin… the memory of pain doesn’t disappear.

“Oh, and keep the patch on for now. It’s not uncomfortable, is it?”

“I thought you said to minimize wearing time before.” Ki Tae-jeong looked displeased as he sprayed disinfectant.

“Normally, it would be better to leave it off, but given Sehwa’s current condition…. Of course, we’ll know for sure after tests, but it’s clear he needs frequent medication, so we should give his body time to get used to that flow.”

The man stared intently at Sehwa’s patched arm with his almond-shaped eyes. It was a gaze mixed with distrust and dissatisfaction. Lieutenant Na rambled on about how his prescription couldn’t be helped even if Ki Tae-jeong was dissatisfied, but Ki Tae-jeong didn’t seem to be listening much. He just clicked his tongue softly, as if annoyed by the patch itself.

Perhaps Ki Tae-jeong was… recalling the moment when he had almost blackmailed him in an attempt to escape. When he had wrapped his entire forearm in patches and forced him to take drugs by jabbing him with needles.

“Make sure Lieutenant Na administers the drugs no matter what nonsense our baby might say while under the influence.”

“Understood.”

Ki Tae-jeong’s brow furrowed, as if he really was reminiscing about three weeks ago. His thick, sculpted eyebrows twitched noticeably.

Sehwa was tense, wondering what he might say next, how he might upset him this time… but Ki Tae-jeong continued tending to his body in silence. He focused solely on cleaning the wounded areas, soaking gauze with bottled water until the car seat and even his uniform were drenched, seemingly unconcerned. When he involuntarily flinched from the stinging disinfectant, he dabbed at the wounds more gently than before.

In the past, he might have been moved by this. He might have foolishly believed that he was growing fond of him, that he was treating him preciously… He would have certainly been fooled and elated.

But now, Sehwa was not touched by such small acts of kindness. What Ki Tae-jeong was doing now was no different from his earlier arbitrary kiss. It was just manipulation for his own pleasure, nothing but deception.

“Brigadier General.”

“Ah!”

Despite his guard being up, Sehwa couldn’t help but startle at the sudden sound of Lieutenant Park’s voice. The movement caused his swollen ankle to collide with the splint Ki Tae-jeong was holding, and Sehwa doubled over with a groan of pain.

“Oh no. Are you alright?” Lieutenant Na approached in alarm.

“…Ah, well…” Sehwa quickly shook his head while wiping cold sweat from his forehead. 

The pain was bad, but more than that, he felt awkward and embarrassed. He was ashamed of showing how much he had shrunk back.

“Lieutenant Park is in the front passenger seat.”

Contrary to his expectation that he would mock him, Ki Tae-jeong showed no reaction. He just carefully observed the injured area to see if there was any further damage.

“There’s a partition so you can’t see him. We can also make it so no sound reaches the front seats with just the press of a button back here.”

‘… Who said what?’ 

Sehwa stubbornly kept his head turned away. He felt even worse hearing the slight amusement in the voice instructing Lieutenant Park to continue. However, at Lieutenant Park’s next report, Ki Tae-jeong’s face hardened coldly.

“Ah, yes. I apologize, but General Oh Seon-ran is requesting a communication link.”

‘General Oh Seon-ran?’ 

As Sehwa unconsciously perked up his ears and leaned forward, Ki Tae-jeong gave a small snort as if in disbelief.

“If you like news about that bastard more than me, baby. It makes me feel like shit.”

“That wasn’t my intention, but… am I not allowed to?”

‘Why can’t I do the same when you treat me like shit?’ Conveying that meaning with a fixed stare, Ki Tae-jeong blinked for a moment before breaking into loud laughter.

“Right. There’s no reason you can’t.”

“Then I’ll connect the call right-“

“Baby.” Ki Tae-jeong interrupted Lieutenant Park while gently stroking Sehwa’s twisted ankle. 

“Why don’t you tell General Oh Seon-ran directly this time? That you chose to stay by my side because you wanted to. So he should stop talking nonsense now.”

“…I don’t tell lies like that.”

Unlike some people. Sehwa barely restrained himself from childishly adding that.

“Why would that be a lie?”

“You’re really-“

“Hey, I’m just saying.”

“…”

“You appeared before me on your own feet and got into this car voluntarily. Didn’t you?”

His insides… never had a chance to settle. There were already so many things he should rightfully be angry about, yet Ki Tae-jeong kept piling new wounds on top. As if to remind him who was the source of this turmoil.

“Sehwa, calm down. You’ll hurt yourself.” As he clenched his fist, trying desperately to fight off the dizziness, Lieutenant Na intervened with a worried look. “And Brigadier General, please stop pressuring someone who’s unwell.”

Lieutenant Na earnestly advised that the situation was already precarious, asking if he didn’t know that Sehwa shouldn’t be stressed.

“…Is this why you called Lieutenant Na?” Ki Tae-jeong glanced over as if to say, “What nonsense is that?” 

Lieutenant Na, who had just begun to relax as the atmosphere calmed slightly, looked alarmed and awkwardly signaled with his eyes. 

‘Don’t do this. Don’t talk back, just stay quiet.’

“Are you planning to kill Lieutenant Na too if I don’t do as you say?”

“That’s not it. The Brigadier General was worried about your condition-“

“Worried? If he was capable of such a thing, he wouldn’t have thought to kidnap and threaten an innocent civilian.”

It’s not like he needed immediate surgery or any extraordinary treatment. Yet he had insisted on having Lieutenant Na in the same car – surely it was for the purpose of tightening his grip on him.

“Lieutenant Na, you said you were classmates with him at the camp.”

“…”

“How could you, as a fellow soldier- ah no, I guess it was easier because you’re both soldiers. You said soldiers have to follow all orders from superiors.”

Lieutenant Na held his breath, watching Ki Tae-jeong’s reaction, while he… said nothing. He just briefly looked up at the ceiling, then bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to hollow his cheeks. As if to say he would tolerate his childishness.

Sehwa felt even more provoked and backed away slowly, jabbing his elbow into the seat back. But shuffling backwards on his bottom, especially inside a car, was futile from the start in terms of distancing himself from him.

“Lieutenant Na, check Sehwa’s heart rate and give him more sedatives if he’s too agitated.”

Ki Tae-jeong grabbed Sehwa’s leg and pulled it back down. Though he was already breathing heavily from just that small movement, he effortlessly negated his efforts, as easily as twisting a child’s wrist. As he always did.

‘Why am I the only one who has to hurt? Why am I always the only one getting wounded and crying?’

Wanting to inflict even a small blow on Ki Tae-jeong, he tried throwing stones, but it was always him who got hurt. The only one pricked, cut, and bleeding from the jagged edges of the stubbornly held stones… was himself alone.

“What are you doing?”

Sehwa bit and tore at the patch wrapped around his forearm. After peeling off the sealed part, he randomly pulled at the black lines tangled like electrical wires with his swollen hand.

“Sehwa!”

“I’m curious too. What made you think you could trust me with this patch?”

‘You seem to think that you can act terribly, then make everything okay by being a little nice, but I can’t do that.’

“What did you think I was going to do?”

Once, Sehwa had felt a strange satisfaction when Ki Tae-jeong looked caught off guard by his words. But that was only momentary, and he had quickly backed down, thinking it wasn’t right to burn with revenge, wanting him to experience the same pain.

Now that he thought about it, how ridiculous and arrogant that judgment had been… Back then, he could afford such complacent thoughts because it was still bearable. But now, even if his own wounds festered and burst, even if he sank into the mire, he wanted Ki Tae-jeong to feel this pain too.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I told you. Rather than staying by your side, I’d-“

“No. You can’t die.”

This time, instead of his calf, he grasped the soft inside of his thigh as if massaging it, and Ki Tae-jeong leaned forward. He had been prepared to do worse than biting his lip if he tried to kiss him arbitrarily again, but he just smiled quietly with his face right in front of him.

“Because even if you die, I’ll definitely save the baby in your belly.”

‘…What is he saying now? If I die… how can the baby live?’ 

As he blinked in confusion, unable to understand his meaning, Ki Tae-jeong calmly laid out various possibilities.

“We live in a world where a baby that should have been carried for ten months can be safely extracted in four or five months, and even given more perfect genes.”

“…”

“Even if the mother stops breathing, if we hurry, we can save the child.”

“What… are you…”

Kissing the tip of Sehwa’s stunned nose, Ki Tae-jeong whispered in a handsome voice, “And with you gone, how do you think I’d treat that child?”

“…”

“I’d make it live exactly like you.”

Locked up in 4-Hwan, not given anything. Just as he lived.

“You wouldn’t want that, would you, baby?”

“…”

“So fix that bad habit of trying to threaten me with your life at every turn.” Ki Tae-jeong pulled Sehwa’s frozen body close again. “I feel like I’ve said this several times today, but you should know, I don’t give second chances.”