RLS Ch 14

The summer weather in Thailand isn’t kind to outsiders. It feels like being trapped in a sauna with unbearable heat making it difficult to breathe. Enduring the radiating heat from the ground, I waited for the shuttle bus from the airport to the hotel.

Some distance away from the crew I was flying with, the cabin stewardess had been on the phone the entire time. I never intended to overhear.

“It’s only because your mom said she’d babysit. Why does my mom have to do it all the time? Why do you have to do that to me? If she wants a vacation, then take one herself. What do you want me to do, get back on the plane and fly to Seoul? Why are you talking about that again? What do you mean by that, then?”

Even just listening to it made me feel guilty. She chewed her lips and couldn’t hide her frustrated face. The shuttle bus arrived, but she seemed hesitant to get on. After some deliberation, I decided to wait for her. After she finished her call, I pointed out the taxi stand to the cabin manager who had been looking around.

“Let’s share a taxi. I’m also running late.”

“Oh, sure. Thank you.”

She hopped into a local taxi, a converted old Japanese passenger car, and showed the driver the name of the hotel. She was still busy sending messages on her phone, but after a while, she let out a small sigh and leaned back in the seat.

“They’re twins, so this happens every time.”

She brushed away the stray hairs. Her shoes were already halfway off, indicating how exhausting the non-stop six-hour flight must have been. With many family travelers on board, the in-flight service would have been demanding.

“Normally, at this point, they’d rotate us to ground duty, but I’m still here because I’m ambitious.”

She had spent 11 years on airplanes. With that level of experience, she’d be treated like royalty in Germany. No one pressures her to switch to ground duty. It seemed burdensome to fight alone.

“Are you free later tonight around 8:00?”

“Wow, that’s exciting to hear from the captain.”

“I’m having drinks with the Co-pilot who deadheading today, if you’d like to join us.”

“Oh my God. Am I really included? The kids would go crazy if they found out.”

I chuckled at her nonchalance and replied, “Sure.” I thought I should have asked the Co-pilot first, but it was just a casual gathering among colleagues, so it should be fine.

The taxi noticeably sped up as we entered downtown Bangkok. By the time we arrived at the hotel, it was already past 7 o’clock. I dropped off my uniform for laundry service and took a shower. While drying my hair and checking my phone, I noticed a message from Han Jae-yi. Well, saying “noticed it” was a bit of an understatement. I should rather say it “bothered” me.

[Call me after the flight].

I pressed the call button right away. After a few rings, I heard Han Jae-yi’s voice.

-Have you arrived?

“Yeah, I’m at the hotel. What’s up?”

-Oh, nothing much. Just felt awkward being alone in the empty house.

“You? Who would stay in my room by yourself when I was at Sunday school camp?”

My adoptive parents were devout Christians. As a result, the Sunday church schedule was strictly followed. On those days, Han Jae-yi would stay alone in the unoccupied room. His excuse was that he was waiting for me, but it was so he could read comic books away from the prying eyes of his professor’s parents. It was ridiculous that he had grown up and was now putting on a show.

-Dinner?

“Just some in-flight meal. The time is vague, so we’re only meeting for drinks.”

-Don’t drink too much.

“I got this.”

-I actually got a call from Chris.

Oh, Lord. I could only hope that my brother hadn’t caused any trouble without my permission. Chris, with his uncontrollable temper and impatience, was someone who could easily lose his cool.

-I don’t know why he suddenly started nagging at me, telling me to stop bothering you and go back to Germany. Now, even my brother is joining in the persuasion, taking turns. I’m starting to feel annoyed.

Now I understood why he was feeling awkward in the empty house. It must have been embarrassing. We were closer than biological siblings. Chris’s words, telling him not to bother me and to go back to Germany, would have sounded bitter. He must have felt sorry for being left alone in the house like an unwelcome guest.

“Don’t worry about it. You can stay as long as you want. You know our home is practically yours.”

-Oh, really? Still?

Han Jae-yi was suspicious. He asked questions that were never answered.

I had distanced myself too much. My affection for him was causing him distress. He was now receiving unwarranted resentment from Chris without any reason. Realizing this, I felt sorry.

“Yeah, still. There’s a spare key at the bottom of the drawer by the front door. You can take it. You probably won’t need it, but it was always yours.”

I wanted to reassure him with such evidence. Han Jae-yi had every right to be anxious. Don’t worry. Nothing has changed in our friendship.

“So just stay there.”

I omitted the phrase “as long as you want.” Another call came in on my phone. It was from Co-pilot Jo Min-woo. Checking the time, it was a little past 8 o’clock. The cabin manager would be waiting in the lobby. I waited anxiously for Han Jae-yi’s answer.

“I will, as long as possible.”

He uttered those words without skipping a beat.

Han Jae-yi’s deflated voice filled me with a sense of duty as a friend. I asked him what he wanted to do for the next three days. He suggested camping. Of course, I agreed.

I hung up the phone with him and rode down the elevator, thinking again. What did he mean by “as long as possible?” Did he mean the next three weeks, or did he mean to postpone the wedding? If the latter, it doesn’t make sense. There’s no correlation between his postponing the wedding and his staying here.

His desire to stay here, personal arrangement—everything pointed to his marriage being a hindrance. But he had no issues with Gisella. If there were, he would have told me. I was even having clumsy dreams about him wishing to get closer to her.

Desire, it seemed, was something that filled up every time I emptied it. I needed to clarify my position.

I went down to the lobby and apologized to them for being 10 minutes late. I had already called the Co-pilot to let him know that the cabin manager was joining them. The destination was a bar in the hotel.

“I’ll just go with beer, I’m a weak drinker.”

“Oh, you don’t seem like that.”

The cabin manager chewed on a peanut and flipped through the cocktail menu. I opted for the bartender’s signature, based on the Co-pilot’s recommendation. The Co-pilot seemed knowledgeable about alcohol.

“I also have an assistant master brewer’s license.”

“You must like to drink.”

“Yes, I’m always sincere about what I like.”

Maybe that was why his piloting skill was also good. He looked a little younger as he changed into comfortable clothes. I asked how Co-pilot Jeon Sung-wook was doing. He mentioned the house party, saying he was going to mention it anyway.

“Sung-wook told me that you’re going to have a house party soon?”

“Oh, yes. I guess that’s what it’s called. Cabin manager you can also come.”

“Ah… Captain, just your words alone mean so much to me. As a mother of twins, I can’t go out during days off.”

“Oh, I see. That’s too bad.”

“Well then, it will be just the three of us including Sung-wook? We can order some chicken.”

“I have friends over at home. There will be four of us.”

“Ah! Is it that guy who looks like Daniel Lee?”

Come to think of it, the manager saw Han Jae-yi waiting at the arrival hall that day. She might have heard him asking why they were going to a hotel instead of going home. Two drinks, one beer and one cocktail, were served. The manager took out his phone and snapped a picture.

“But your friend has been here for quite a while, hasn’t it only been a week?”

“Yes, he said he’ll stay for about a month. Maybe it’s because he’s before marriage, he seems a bit uncertain.”

I didn’t realize it, but it was a plausible reason. Ah, I wondered if it was really the case. Maybe he’s here to clear his mind for a moment, feeling conflicted about marriage. I’ve heard of such cases before.

“I know, I know, I’ve been there, wondering if I’m doing the right thing, wondering if I’m making a mistake, wondering if I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him, wondering if the good times are over.”

“Women tend to feel that way, especially.”

“Men are similar. I felt the same way too.”

“Wow, Co-pilot, I didn’t realize you were married.”

“No, I’m not, I just got divorced.”

Divorced. It was a resonant term. I became quite curious about the circumstances that led to his divorce. Asking might be rude. It seemed like the cabin manager had the same thought as she suddenly fell silent. The Co-pilot laughed at the awkwardness, said it was nothing serious, and poured the cocktail down his throat. He ordered another one of the same, and the cabin manager cautiously returned to the topic of her own experience.

“Well, marriage is something you regret whether you do it or not. That’s why I did it.”

“How did you meet your husband-to-be?”

“Oh… it’s a common story. He was a passenger.”

It was the path of ‘easy dating’ that I had envied before. Asking for numbers, showing interest, meeting up. Getting closer, pouring out feelings. That’s how they dated, she said.

“I was quite popular back then. Got a lot of numbers from celebrities too, hehe. Captain, you’re still single, right?”

“Yes, marriage isn’t something you do alone.”

“Ridiculous. You don’t have a girlfriend? Shall I introduce you?”

The cabin manager said that she had two such good blind dates and wanted to set up a date immediately. The Co-pilot and I simultaneously waved our hands and told her no, we weren’t interested in a romantic relationship. We graciously accepted her offer to let us know if we change our minds. Considering the Co-pilot had an early flight the next morning, the drinking session ended early in consideration of him.

“I’ll go up after having a smoke,” I said as I stepped out of the lobby, and the Co-pilot followed. It was comforting to see another smoker. The outside air was still hot. Lighting up, I felt the temperature on my skin hotter than my body temperature. Trash piled up in plastic bins haphazardly placed outside the hotel. The stench of decay mixed with the scent of incense. Now, the smell of cigarette smoke was added to the mix.

We chatted about the newly discovered defect in the Boeing 737 Max. One pilot known to the Co-pilot had to land again just five minutes after takeoff. If they had gone more than a thousand feet, it would have been a catastrophic failure.

We talked about how he ended up choosing to fly for Airbus. He started with the A320 and was considering a move to an LCC (low cost carrier) until last year, when he decided to stay with the company. I enjoyed the conversation. I asked for another cigarette.

“You know that 24 hour convenience store at the end of the alley from the captain’s house? Take a left there, Suseong Apartments, I live there.”

“Oh, that’s really close.”

“I bought it as a newlywed home, but I’m living alone. Haha.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I blurted out something along the lines of, ‘I see.’ I wondered if it was the same way I felt when I casually blurted out that I was adopted. The Co-pilot smiled, apparently enjoying my reaction.

“It’s nothing. About one in ten couples break up during wedding preparations.”

“I didn’t know that, I’ll have to tell my friend.”

“Oh, come to think of it, is your friend on vacation or something, isn’t he a worker?”

“He says he’s working from home, so whatever.”

I exhaled cigarette smoke and looked directly at him. But there was no continuation of the conversation. Turning my head, I saw the Co-pilot smiling at me with an amused expression.

“It seems like you’re quite close. Not even on vacation, yet he’s here for a month, and to a friend’s house thousands of kilometers away.”

If one didn’t know about me and Han Jae-yi’s relationship, such a reaction wouldn’t be unreasonable.

I couldn’t find a Korean phrase that could express the idea of being very close at once. The word “special” seems too meaningful, and the number “15 years” lost objectivity. By that logic, all middle school classmates would be friends for 15 years.

As I rambled on and on, Co-pilot Cho Min-woo nodded his shoulder in understanding, and then laughed. Somehow, I felt a little embarrassed that my disrespectful thoughts toward Han Jae-yi were exposed. I took the last sip and extinguished the flame with my hand.

Before heading upstairs, he asked me to let him know when I set the date for a housewarming party. I wished him a good flight tomorrow and parted ways.