RSL Ch 73

Two days later, I was taking off on CR713 bound for Moscow. The co-pilot sitting next to me was a veteran who had already flown with me a couple of times.

The old A380, over 15 years since its production, entered the taxiway with its massive body. The scheduled departure time was 9:10 AM. We were set for a 9-hour flight with 350 passengers and over 10 tons of cargo.

We received information that turbulence and lightning were expected at various points along the route to our destination. The cabin crew’s expressions were gloomy as they listened to the flight briefing. Everyone’s face hardened when I mentioned that we might have to completely suspend in-flight service if necessary.

Crosswind 20 knots with gusts up to 35 knots. Even taking off from Incheon Airport wouldn’t be easy. If there was any consolation, it was having a skilled co-pilot with me. As we slid down the runway and reached V1 (takeoff decision speed), I pulled the control stick at the co-pilot’s call sign. The 500-ton aircraft lifted into the air, and we received a farewell from the control tower.

-Contact Departure on 131.8. Coreana 713 heavy. Good day.

Even as we continued to increase altitude, the aircraft shook unstably. The fact that this massive body was shaking meant that the air currents were quite unstable. We received approval from the Departure Center, which manages route adjustments, to increase altitude to 35,000 feet. The aircraft immediately broke through the troposphere.

“Hmm, looks like there might be more bumping ahead?”

The co-pilot muttered quietly, looking at the shape of the clouds visible through the windshield. We had entered the planned route and activated the autopilot, but we still couldn’t turn off the seatbelt sign. Should we have lowered the altitude instead? I felt a bit of regret about the flight plan we had made before departure. It wasn’t until 10 more minutes had passed that the aircraft’s shaking completely subsided.

“I thought I wouldn’t get assigned to Moscow for a while. Oh boy.”

The co-pilot sighed as he turned off the seatbelt sign on the ceiling.

“Seems like it’s a route everyone tries to avoid.”

“It’s notorious in our company. Most of the aircraft assigned are old, it takes 9 hours with no crew change. The airport facilities are poor, and in winter, the runway often freezes. It’s been a headache, unable to turn a proper profit since establishing the direct route.”

Here’s the English translation of the provided text:

“This is only my second time flying from Korea. I feel uneasy, perhaps because I’m not used to it.”

“The routes were often arbitrarily drawn by the Russians during the Soviet era, so we can’t fly in a straight line. It feels completely different from entering Western Europe.”

I completely agreed with his words. Moscow from Germany was considered a short-haul flight, so it wasn’t a demanding route. Moreover, I really wanted to avoid routes like today’s with thunderstorms scattered everywhere.

Statistically, every airplane is likely to be struck by lightning about once a year. However, this doesn’t mean it will immediately crash or be electrocuted. Aircraft are designed to channel electrical current to the exterior. In other words, even if 1 billion volts of electricity flow, it’s immediately discharged through the wing tip’s discharge devices, so passengers may not even realize they’ve been struck by lightning.

However, this is only when luck is on our side. It’s obviously better to avoid lightning, and if possible, to fly in areas without thunderstorms. Aircraft always have the potential for unpredictable accidents, and aging parts increase that probability many times over. We must never forget that ‘accident-free’ is merely luck obtained by doing everything possible.

“But we should be able to eat, right?”

Saying that, I checked the cabin manager captured on the cockpit’s external camera and opened the door.

“Captain, can we start in-flight service?”

She asked with an anxious expression.

“Yes. But let’s skip hot beverages, just in case.”

“Understood. What would you like for your meals? We have braised beef for Korean, and lasagna prepared for Western.”

“I’ll have the Western meal. The co-pilot can have the Korean if he likes.”

At my words, the co-pilot’s face lit up with happiness.

“Ah… This is why I love being paired with you, Captain. Then I’ll have the Korean meal, please, Manager.”

“Certainly. I’ll prepare it right away.”

As she left the cockpit, the co-pilot looked back at her with an ambiguous expression. After the door closed and we were alone again, he spoke to me cautiously.

“I heard it’s her last flight today.”

“Ah, so you knew her. Is she switching to ground duty?”

At my words, he shook his head with a somewhat bitter smile.

“She’s quitting altogether. Says it’s too difficult because of the kids. She’s almost my batch mate, so we often flew together. It’s a shame. She’s been with the company for over 12 years.”

“I’m not very knowledgeable about these things, but can’t the children be sent to kindergarten or school? Her husband must be there too, so why does the manager need to quit her job?”

I had actually been curious about this for a while. At my previous company, there were many crew members in their 50s with 30 years of experience, but this company uniquely had many young colleagues among the cabin crew. I hadn’t quite figured out the reason for this.

“Raising kids in Korea requires a lot of hands-on care. If you neglect them, they fall behind. There’s a lot to manage, like academies and private tutoring. Parents need to be there to pay attention, but it’s tough when you have to leave home for days at a time for flights.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen any male flight attendants or captains quitting for the same reason.”

“Haha. That’s right. Well… it’s still like that. I guess I have nothing to say to that.”

I recalled the phone conversation of another cabin manager I had flown with to Bangkok recently. I had unknowingly felt guilty listening to her lament about needing to switch to ground duty because of her twin children, but finding it difficult due to her passion for the job.

On the other hand, I remembered Captain Park Chong-dae, who had made a grand retirement after his last flight to Osaka. The image of him leaving happily, receiving applause from passengers after flying the planes he loved for 40 years, overlapped in my mind.

It felt bitter that people with the same professional calling could have such different endings. The world was changing in many ways, but the pace of change still seemed to vary.

It wasn’t a sense of superiority or pity. I too had faced discrimination where I came from, and as someone with a same-sex partner, I belonged to a marginalized group in this society. So I didn’t want to question her about why she made such a choice. I just felt sad, as a colleague, about her 12 years of experience, and thought about the social cost that someone else would have to build up again in her place.

* * *

The engines of the A380 that had safely arrived at Moscow airport with the co-pilot’s landing came to a stop. Fortunately, there were no accidents like being struck by lightning, but many passengers complained of headaches due to severe turbulence during the last hour before landing. The cabin team, who had been running around dealing with the worst complaints, looked completely drained after landing. Moscow already seemed to have a touch of winter’s chill.

“Let’s move our show-up time 10 minutes earlier.”

I informed the purser and deputy purser who entered the cockpit after landing that we would change the pre-return flight briefing schedule. As they left, the co-pilot handed me the flight log, guessing the reason.

“Is it because you think the Russian maintenance will take time?”

“Well… that’s part of it. Let’s have dinner together when we get out.”

“Sure, then.”

After leaving the airport with him, we ate Russian meat dishes in the city. I listened to various personal stories from the co-pilot and then discussed what I had been thinking about. The co-pilot readily, or rather more enthusiastically, agreed to my plan.

After returning to the hotel, I checked my unusually quiet phone to see if I had missed anything. I checked the call history and message inbox, but there were no contacts from Han Jae-yi. He was in Germany, I was in Russia. Although we had flown thousands of kilometers for our respective duties, I thought of him from time to time.

Han Jae-yi insisted that we hadn’t fought, but we had become defensive towards each other because of Co-pilot Cho Min-woo. Should I have told my partner about the embarrassing story of a work colleague seemingly liking me? Yes, perhaps that really would have been the right thing to do.

But to be completely honest, I was having quite a despicable thought. I had been jealous all along of that one year Han Jae-yi spent with Gisela, their narrative that I could never know. That was why. The biggest reason I didn’t want to tell him about the co-pilot was because of the base desire to create a secret of my own that he didn’t know about.

So when I realized that it had finally been revealed in the worst possible way, along with dismay, a small thrill seeped in. I even felt a strange catharsis seeing Han Jae-yi’s expression distorted with jealousy.

It’s nauseating, but that was who I was. I hadn’t dreamed of being a morally perfect human, but it took quite a bit of courage to look at the very bottom of my consciousness from time to time.

‘Because you had someone you were going to marry back then.’

It was an accusation bordering on a threat. Had Han Jae-yi noticed when he heard those words? Is that why he didn’t say anything more and let it go?

Suddenly, I measured the depth of the inner thoughts I could confide in him. It was deeper than anyone else’s, but there were still parts I couldn’t show. Was Han Jae-yi also maintaining such areas from me? If we were to see each other’s ends, would our love cool and we turn our backs on each other?

The boundaries drawn in our relationship are vague. After erasing all the lines we had as friends, it became even more confusing. How far can I claim territory under the name of lovers? If the day comes when I unknowingly reach out and get rejected by him, I would be hurt too. If life is about repeating breakups and reunions like that, my life seemed like it would end too short.

“Hello everyone. I hope you’ve recovered from your fatigue despite the short layover. I have something to say before the flight briefing.”

Two days later, it was time for the full briefing before the flight back to Korea. Thanks to moving the show-up time 10 minutes earlier, we had some time to spare. I greeted the crew gathered in a circle around me and threw a glance at one person.

“Manager.”

“Ah, yes.”

I pointed to her with her neat updo and slightly flushed expression, and revealed the original purpose for which I had moved up the show-up time.

“I heard it’s your last flight today. Actually, I wanted to greet you separately, so I asked everyone to gather early today.”

“Oh my. Ah, yes…”

She looked surprised and flustered by this unexpected development. She also seemed puzzled that I, who had no close relationship with her, knew about her resignation.

“I thought it would be too regrettable to end like this after flying for 12 years. There was severe turbulence on the incoming flight, but thanks to you, Manager, we were able to land without any safety incidents. Thank you. You’ve probably been with the company much longer than I have, but since I have CRM authority today, I’ll speak on behalf of the company. Thank you for your hard work. As a captain and a colleague, I’m glad to be part of your last flight today. I look forward to working with you until the end.”

After saying that, I gave a nod to the deputy manager. She then took out a gift she had prepared in advance and approached the manager.

“Thank you for all your hard work, Manager. This is what we were originally planning to prepare, but the captain and co-pilot chipped in some money, so it got upgraded quite a bit. Haha.”

A smartwatch, beautifully wrapped, which the deputy manager and some crew members had bought at a Moscow shopping mall yesterday, was handed to the manager. I had heard from the co-pilot during dinner on the day we arrived that they were preparing a separate gift. It was supposed to be a secret that we added money to buy the best model, but it was casually revealed.

The manager, holding the gift, tightly grasped the deputy manager’s hand and tried to say something, but swallowed her words as if choking up. The two seemed to be originally close.

“Thank you, Manager.”

“You’ve worked hard.”

“Manager, thank you for your hard work.”

Other cabin crew members also said a few words each and applauded. She must have been their captain and leader until now.

“Ah, um. Thank you…”

She hesitated once while trying to greet everyone. The manager, who was increasingly struggling to maintain her composure, began to get teary-eyed.

“Oh my, what should I do? What’s happening? Oh, I’m about to cry…”

The manager turned slightly and wiped her eyes to prevent her makeup from smearing. Then she regained her composure, cleared her throat, and adjusted her clothes.

“Ahem. Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Captain. I didn’t expect this at all, so I’m a bit tearful. But since we’re on duty, I’ll save my personal reflections for after the flight. Let’s start the flight briefing.”

The manager showed professionalism until the end, setting an example for her juniors. This made me confident that she would do well in whatever new endeavor she was about to undertake.

As the general briefing ended and we were moving to the gate, the co-pilot came up beside me and spoke. I laughed out loud when he said my personality seemed much nicer than it appeared.

“I wasn’t like this originally, but a lot has changed since coming to Korea.”

Is it the influence of someone who likes kind events? Still, all I did was spare about 10 minutes of time.

“I remember when I first flew with you, Captain. The atmosphere has changed a lot since then. What is it, your tone of speech seems to have become more flexible too.”

“Ah, that’s really good to hear. I’ve been trying to improve.”

“Hahaha. I think you still need to work on it a bit more. But anyway, it’s nice.”

Nodding at his words, I glanced outside the gate where our A380 was showing its massive body, ready for us to board. I hoped the return journey would also be a safe flight without incidents.