RSL Ch 10

After a short flight, we arrived at the hotel and each went up to our rooms. We decided to have dinner together and agreed to meet in the lobby by 7 PM.

When we were young, we always shared the same room during our trips. Firstly, because we didn’t have much money, and secondly, it was more convenient to stay together. Due to such precedents, when I made a reservation for a hotel in Jeju Island, I hesitated a bit. Still, two grown adult men sharing a room seemed abnormal.

When we checked in and he realized that we had two rooms, Han Jae-yi didn’t react much. He might have thought it was natural, so I kept silent.

We were both up before dawn and tired. We didn’t know where to go, so we decided to have dinner at the hotel restaurant. We chose Japanese cuisine. Han Jae-yi, who had changed into a comfortable knit, was the first to enter the restaurant. He had taken a shower and smelled faintly of cologne.

“Would you like some wine?”

As both of us liked wine, the drink order was quickly settled. After choosing our favorite sushi, I left the rest to Han Jae-yi’s choice. Various dishes were placed on the table, and chopsticks moved busily. Both of us were jet-lagged, but the conversation didn’t stop.

“Speaking of bungee jumping, was the bungee jump at the dam the first and last time?”

“When the two of us went, it might have been the case. I did it once more when I went on a flight to Australia.”

After completing the Abitur (German university entrance exam), we went on a road trip to Switzerland. At the Verzasca Dam, featured in the 007 series, nineteen-year-old me and Han Jae-i jumped fearlessly from the 220-meter dam. It was such a dizzying height that even for me, it felt like quite a feat. Since then, any extreme sports attempts seemed trivial.

“I kept thinking about it after the first thrilling experience. I even suggested we do it without any fear. But when I stood in front of it, it was terrifying. I think I forced myself to jump because I didn’t want to lose to you.”

“Yeah, I felt the same way.”

When the staff asked who would run first, Han Jae-yi curiously raised his hand. I must admit, I was a little jealous of him. We were good competitors and had similar athletic abilities, so we were always in the same group at the after-school club.

“But I was better than you at tennis.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I had the upper hand with the ball.”

“I’ll only concede basketball. Because you’re taller.”

“Man, we used to be crazy about the NBA.”

“Remember when you showed up at my house all packed up to go to America?”

“Yeah, that was really impulsive, even for me.”

After secretly stealing money from his parents to see Kobe Bryant, he came to my house in the middle of the night asking to go to America. I remember the look of excitement on his face as he ignored me as I stood there dumbfounded, telling me to pack quickly and crumpling my clothes into the trunk.I don’t remember how I managed to stop him.

We used to get into fights all the time. Once, when we were playing basketball with our friends, Han Jae-yi took off his shirt and charged at them. I tried to intervene but ended up throwing more punches, escalating the situation.

Han Jae-yi was me and I was Han Jae-yi. His schoolmates would call me when they wanted to find him, and vice versa. It was amusing.

“I still remember your mother’s bewildered expression.”

“They were arrogant. I should have beaten them up more.”

As we delved into nostalgic stories, we became a bit excited. Throughout the evening, one expensive anecdote led to another.

He laughs, revealing neat teeth and lifting the corners of his mouth. Brushing back his disheveled hair, his handsome eyebrows become visible. Leaning his chin and listening to my story, he smiles and nods, occasionally interjecting with his laughter. It was nice. Pushing the plate towards me instead of answering, he showed a tender gesture.

Once I realized what I was feeling, I found myself endlessly refilling my wine glass in a rush of excitement that I had never felt before.

“Would you like more wine?”

“Just give me another glass of the same. My friend here will stop now.”

Han Jae-yi pushed my glass toward him. The server took the emptied plates. Once the table was cleared, he pushed a glass of water toward me.

“You’ve been drinking a lot. But you should stop drinking now.”

“Yeah, I was worried if I could walk straight even without being carried.”

“Don’t worry; I’ll carry you up if needed. By the way, remember that one time I carried you?”

“Don’t exaggerate with just one time of support.”

“Do you remember?”

He laughed, bringing up a story from seven years ago. No, it was eight years ago. I was in Munich. It was my birthday, and there were four of us, Han Jae-yi, Chris, and one other classmate, having a drinking party.

Han Jae-yi’s inability to get drunk when he drinks brings out a useless sense of competition in anyone who drinks with him. The idea of trying to get him drunk at some point in the day is a common theme among the Schmitz brothers, and Chris and I have been scheming and trying to bring him down. What my brother didn’t consider was my extremely limited alcohol tolerance.

I drank half a bottle of cheap Jagermeister and collapsed on the table. Unable to get up, I found myself in the awkward position of having a clear mind but a body that wasn’t listening. It was Han Jae-yi who claimed to have carried me from the bar to the parking lot, and I was the one who claimed to have needed a little help. I don’t know the truth.

I looked at Han Jae-yi’s wine as it was sparkling and muttered to myself. I loved those days.

“I’m still happy now.”

I lifted my head. Han Jae-yi was looking at me with a faint smile on his face. He lifted the wine glass he was spinning. His lips parted at the corners, and the red liquid spilled out of the clear glass. He’d ordered red wine today, for some reason. He held it in his mouth for a moment, savoring the aroma, then slid it down his throat in one swallow. I saw his throat move.

What am I staring at? I took a glass of water and, making a sound, finished it in one shot. Warmth surged within me.

Han Jae-yi raised his hand and summoned the server. He asked for more water, then offered me his own glass.

“It didn’t touch my lips.”

Even though it didn’t matter, the thought of his hand touching it made me want to be greedy. I brought the water glass to my lips and took a sip, making a sound.

He was right, I was a little drunk. It’s natural to look at the other person when you’re eating across from them, but I felt like his gaze on me earlier was too much. I envied my past self, who had 100% purity of morals. I was spending time like a hippo drinking water, trapped in Han Jae-yi’s gaze.

“If you’re not feeling very well, should we go up?”

I didn’t want to. I really didn’t want to, but I said yes. In fact, I wanted to go up to his room with him as it was. I regretted booking two rooms. Shall I pretend to be crazy and suggest having another drink in my room? Should I ask for support again, using being drunk as an excuse? While having various messy thoughts, he finished paying and stood up.

“Is everything okay?”

He laughed when he saw me standing up. I felt ridiculous. Even while passing through the lobby and waiting for the elevator, Han Jae-yi seemed to have no intention of turning his gaze away from me. Leaning against the wall next to the button, he continued to look at me with a faint smile.

“Why do you keep staring at me?”

“Because you’re cute. When you drink, you always close your mouth and mumble to yourself like a puppy. It’s worse today. Your face looks really pale. Let’s go up.”

I was about to reply, but the elevator arrived just in time. Han Jae-yi pushed the button, indicating for me to enter first, with a tone that said I should get in. Standing behind him, he entered, the door closed, and the elevator started to go up slowly.

We leaned against the walls on either side of this square box. Silence flowed, and only the mechanical sound vibrated. Han Jae-i, leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his knit pants, kept looking at me. His gaze was directed towards the reddened area around my neck.

Even if I regret it later, should I suggest having one more drink? It was too regretful to part like this. The dinner today was truly enjoyable. The desire to possess him in a more secluded place arose.

My two egos were fighting in my mind as I watched the number of floors climb inexorably. Try it. You can at least ask casually, ‘Wanna come to my room?’ It’s not like your relationship is so distant that you can’t say that. No. It’s a cop-out to ask for more drinks when you know you’re already drunk. If I’m going to drink more, I should do it at the restaurant, not saying let’s go up now and saying this now.

Just then, Han Jae-yi, who had been leaning against the wall, stood up and approached me. He’s so close that my back is pressed against the wall, as if his sense of space has been lost in his drunkenness. The sweet red wine he drank mixed with the scent of shower cologne tickled the tip of my nose.

“What on earth are you thinking that makes you like this?”

I blinked my eyes and admired his broad nose and long eyes from a distance of 10 centimeters. I wanted to answer that today, you seemed so likable that I wish we could spend more time together, or more honestly, I wish we could roll around together in bed just like this.

Ding-

The elevator doors opened. There was silence for a few seconds. Amidst the churning waves of emotion, I tugged at the strings of reason that were sinking deep.

“Get out of the way.”

I stepped out, pushing him aside, and the elevator door, about to close, opened again. Han Jae-yi had to go up one more floor. From inside, he still gazed at me with a smile, an expression that I couldn’t decipher.

“Can you find your room?”

“Don’t treat me like a kid.”

“Ha… that’s cranky. Okay, get some rest, I’ll call you tomorrow when I wake up.”

I slightly raised my hand to bid farewell. As the elevator door closed, the door of my desire was also firmly locked.

I walked quietly down the corridor and entered the room. I craved a cigarette. Looking at the hotel information booklet, I found the smoking room. I went back down to the first floor alone.