RSL Ch 106

‘Sit. I’ve eaten bibimbap before, but this is my first time with this. Tell me what to eat first.’

Gisella sat at a Korean restaurant in a hotel near Yeouido, confidently holding his spoon. On the table were grilled bulgogi, fermented soybean stew, braised hairtail, and other side dishes.

‘This is sudden. No contact beforehand.’

As Jae-yi sat opposite her, a server immediately handed him a menu.

‘I don’t need to eat, just coffee. Espresso.’

He had rushed out, only wearing a jacket. His hair was also hastily done, so his bangs kept falling down. Gisella stared at him, propping his chin on his hand.

‘Aren’t you eating lunch?’

‘I don’t feel like it. What’s going on?’

Jae-yi repeatedly asked her why she was here. He had been completely unaware, so he was quite surprised when he received his call.

‘I’m trying to get to know Korea better too. It’s a good opportunity, since you’re here. I came at a time that wouldn’t interfere with your schedule. To come together.’

An exaggerated smile played on her lips. It was as if she meant no harm. She also mentioned that she had made dinner plans with his parents for the coming weekend.

Hmm.

Jae-yi subtly raised his eyebrows, but then nodded nonchalantly.

‘Okay, good job.’

She didn’t seem to be acting strangely at all, so he couldn’t say anything. However, it was now difficult to postpone the schedule any longer. For now, he thought he had to go back to Germany with her. He rubbed his chin and smiled bitterly.

The coffee arrived, and Gisella started eating. Watching the food in front of her, he slowly leaned back on the sofa.

‘You arrived yesterday?’

‘Yes. I slept through the night, so I couldn’t contact you. Anyway, you haven’t been answering your phone lately.’

‘It’s the middle of the night here. And it would disturb Maxi.’

As she said, he had missed a few calls recently. It couldn’t be helped. He felt sorry for Seo-jin, who had to go on early morning flights, but he also couldn’t understand why she kept calling every night as if checking up on him. He usually called back the next morning, but she seemed to have forgotten that.

‘How was the room? Was it comfortable?’

‘Not bad.’

‘I’ll upgrade you to a suite, so go shopping after you eat.’

‘Alone? What about you?’

‘I’ll pick up my things from Maxi’s place.’

At those words, a bright smile spread across her face. Gisella continued her meal with a satisfied expression. Her voice, as she praised the food, was a little excited. She showed him her list of restaurants she had found, saying she would visit them all while she was here.

Jae-yi’s mind became complicated as he looked at her.

He wondered why she looked so satisfied.

It was hard to understand Gisella’s intentions. It was nice that she was trying to get to know Korea, but her actions felt somehow awkward. She wasn’t the type to have so much free time for sightseeing.

Why was she doing this? It felt like his fiancée was testing him, following Woo Seo-jin. It felt like something was happening somewhere that only she didn’t know about.

The next day, that feeling turned into certainty. At the meeting where the three of them met, Gisella’s expression was very strange. She wasn’t angry, but she certainly wasn’t smiling either. She stared intently at Seo-jin the whole time.

Afterwards, she asked me why he hadn’t told Seo-jin. She said that she was surprised that Maxi didn’t know about the entire process of them dating and getting married, even though they were such close friends.

It was a bit difficult to explain briefly. It was mainly because, somehow, it became an unspoken rule between Seo-jin and him not to talk about women. It wasn’t a particularly interesting topic.

‘It wasn’t because you didn’t want to hear it, was it?’

Gisella gave a meaningful smile. It wasn’t a pleasant tone, so they had a somewhat unproductive conversation. Even though Jae-yi had already explained it at length, she kept asking similar questions.

‘So what’s so special about him? What’s so different about him from other friends that you’re making such a fuss? I don’t understand.’

He didn’t entirely understand what she meant. Looking back, he had heard similar things many times over the past 15 years. He had heard it from his ex-girlfriends, his friends, and even his coworkers.

You seem to really like that friend one-sidedly. Was he a guy? Of course I thought he was a girl. Are you in a relationship like that? Jae-yi laughed it off when he heard those cautious words, but this time, he felt a little off, as if he was getting tired of it.

‘So, every time something happens to Maxi, you’ll rush to Korea? And I’m supposed to understand that?’

Gisella’s strangely aggressive tone made him stop answering. He thought it was jealousy. It’s common for a lover to feel that way towards a close friend. He thought it would naturally resolve as they got closer. They weren’t strangers, and he thought things would get better if they had a drink together over dinner.

But someone else wasn’t cooperating.

‘Actually, I don’t feel well. Can you two eat together?’

Seo-jin refused to have dinner with the two of them. His wish for them to see each other often and become close was facing difficulties from the start. After hesitating, Jae-yi went to his house. He wondered if Seo-jin was really unwell, so he bought him dinner that was good for digestion. And he  encountered an unexpected scene.

The first officer he had seen at the housewarming party was at his house. At the entrance to the living room, Seo-jin was examining his hand, and the man was looking at Seo-jin with a strange gaze. The slightly raised corner of his mouth felt ominous. It was unpleasant. He almost grabbed the first officer by the collar to ask what he was doing. He stopped himself when he saw Seo-jin’s face.

‘You said you were having dinner. Why are you here?’

He wanted to ask him what he was doing with this man, since he said he would be resting at home.

‘Hello.’

The first officer greeted him with his characteristic sly smile. Seeing the broken wine glass rolling on the living room floor, it seemed he had cut his hand. Why did he come, and what was he doing that led to breaking the glass? Jae-yi was both curious and irritated. However, letting him stay in this house just to hear those circumstances was even more disagreeable.

Jae-yi briefly acknowledged his greeting and looked at Seo-jin with eyes that said to send him away quickly. Then he went inside and started cleaning as if he were the homeowner.

It was a clear display of territory aimed at the first officer. It meant that while he was a guest, I was not. He wanted to show that all of these furniture and household items, the arrangement of the table, and even the broken wine glasses, were all things he had filled in.

Jae-yi knew it was a childish reaction. He had often acted this way since his school days. He couldn’t bear to see Seo-jin with people he didn’t know. He would interfere and cause trouble, then scatter everyone, or he would say things Seo-jin couldn’t refuse, and sneak him out.

No friend could go out alone with Maximilian Schmitz. Jae-yi had monopolized all such opportunities. Since Seo-jin didn’t seem particularly displeased, he considered this somewhat of a mutual agreement. However, thinking it would still be valid after 15 years was Jae-yi’s misconception.

‘I asked first why you came.’

After sending the first officer away, Seo-jin’s reaction wasn’t very welcoming. It had the nuance of asking why he came without permission. Even when told about bringing medicine and soup, his uncomfortable expression didn’t soften.

‘Why come here when you have Gisella? I didn’t even complain about being sick, so why are you making things difficult?’

Jae-yi was momentarily stunned. Seo-jin was angry. Or rather, it was more accurate to say that he couldn’t hide his already existing anger. Jae-yi hadn’t expected that coming to check on him while he was sick would be such a grave mistake. Seo-jin seemed extremely displeased. Though he usually wasn’t one to show his emotions, today was different. Since this wasn’t a common occurrence, Jae-yi first tried to calm him down. He sat him at the dining table and offered the soup.

‘I couldn’t find tomato cream soup. I bought the closest thing, but eat it even if you don’t like it.’

After calmly handing him a spoon, he also took a spoonful of soup. The best way to get Woo Seo-jin to eat is for Han Jae-yi to eat first. Then he would automatically start eating.

Seo-jin reluctantly stirred his spoon. Then he brought it to his mouth a few times.

Jae-yi was relieved. He had been momentarily tense, wondering what he would do if even this method didn’t work. Warm soup went into his thin lips. Occasionally, he chewed thoughtfully. Seeing Seo-jin eat made his unpleasant mood subside a little. Before leaving, he thought he should meet him more often and feed him more.

‘What are you doing tomorrow? If you don’t have any plans…’

‘I have plans.’

Jae-yi, who had been caught off guard before he could finish speaking, looked at Seo-jin for a moment. The intention behind his blunt statement of having plans without even asking what time was clear: a definite refusal. He could see the tension in his hand gripping the sofa armrest.

‘Okay, I understand.’

He didn’t ask any further. Jae-yi calmly picked up his spoon again. Seo-jin’s gaze was still on him. As if he was concerned about his reaction despite having rejected him, he remained motionless for a long time.

Jae-yi continued to silently eat his share. This is how Seo-jin finishes his meal. After a long wait, he saw him slowly pick up his soup bowl again. At the same time, his gaze fell on Seo-jin’s swollen knuckles.

Where did he get hurt? His excuse about getting injured during exercise might be a fabricated excuse. Seeing the broken wine glass, it was clear something had happened. His uneasy demeanor and actions since the morning had been bothering him, and he didn’t want to leave like this.

‘If you’re not feeling well, should I stay the night?’

Jae-yi roughly cleared his dishes and sat down next to Seo-jin. He could see a fleeting look of relief cross his face. But he quickly tensed his jaw and pursed his lips.

‘I’m fine, so there’s no need.’

No, he didn’t look fine. If he was in pain, he could have just said that, but he turned his head away so as not to make eye contact. But Seo-jin couldn’t be too harsh, so he occasionally looked in this direction. It was an action he couldn’t understand.

Even on his way back to the hotel after being practically pushed out of his house, Jae-yi remained concerned. He didn’t want to leave him alone, but Seo-jin kept telling him to leave him be. Even when he tried to have a serious conversation, he wouldn’t give him the chance. Jae-yi returned to the starting point of his thoughts once more.

Had I done something to make him angry?

Otherwise, Seo-jin wouldn’t be building such a wall. Thinking back, it had been like this from the beginning. From the start, Seo-jin hadn’t been happy about him coming to Korea. He had repeatedly told him to go back. Later, Chris joined in and nagged him. He asked what he was doing there. He told him to stop bothering people and come back to Germany right away.

At the time, it had only slightly annoyed him, but now that he thought about it, wasn’t it absurd? That his presence here was bothering Seo-jin. If that was the case, he had been incredibly insensitive. He was embarrassed. Jae-yi couldn’t accept that he had become such a person to Woo Seo-jin.

An indescribably complicated feeling began to well up inside him. Something had been wrong from a certain point. And Jae-yi vaguely sensed that point was right after his engagement.

Was it that significant to you?

Seo-jin’s face appeared in his mind, as if arguing back. The imagined Seo-jin questioned him. He had said terrible things, asking what he thought he would do if he had announced his marriage.

That’s nonsense…

Jae-yi’s brow furrowed slightly as he muttered to himself. Even imagining it felt suffocating.

‘Will you be checking in?’

Jae-yi turned his head at the sound from outside the car window. A hotel employee had cautiously approached and knocked on the window. He realized it had been a while since he had parked the car.

‘No, valet parking, please.’

After handing over his keys, he entered the lobby. He stood in front of the elevator going to his room and waited his turn. As the elevator doors opened with a chime, he received a message on his phone. It was from Seo-jin.

[I’ll probably come home after dinner]

Jae-yi frowned after reading the message. His request to meet tomorrow had been rejected again. The elevator doors, having missed its timing, closed again without anyone boarding. Although the elevator was ascending, his mind was elsewhere.

Jae-yi shoved his hands into his pants pockets and remained motionless for a while. Then, he bypassed the elevator and headed towards the bar in the lobby. He drank alone until dawn.

***

Seo-jin tossed and turned in his sleep. Jae-yi, who had been lost in thought, quickly turned his head back to reality. He checked his forehead; thankfully, his fever had subsided. It was already past 2 AM. In the dark room, only the screen of the laptop on Jae-yi’s lap glowed.

He quietly got up from his seat, grabbed an empty glass of water, and went to the kitchen. He filled up some water, placed it on the table, and cleaned up the place. He went into the warm blanket and laid down. Then Seo-jin’s body turned slightly and came into Jae-yi’s arms.

“…What were you doing?”

He had woken up. Jae-yi tucked his arms around Seo-jin’s upper body and pulled him closer. Then, as if trying to put him back to sleep, he buried his face in his chest.

“Checking emails. Sorry, was it too bright?”

“No, I guess I woke up because I slept during the day. Are you very busy?”

“Just a little. I can take a break using the weather as an excuse.”

“The timing was good. I’m home, too.”

Jae-yi’s lips gently touched Seo-jin’s forehead in agreement.

“It reminds me of when we were stuck in Switzerland because of a blizzard.”

Seo-jin brought up an old memory. A story from their youthful days. On their way back from a ski resort during winter break, they had been delayed for a day due to a blizzard. Seo-jin, who had flight training the next day, was pacing anxiously, but Jae-yi wouldn’t let him go down the mountain. He hid his car keys and waited with Seo-jin for the night, and only came down in the morning.

“You were unexpected back then. I thought you’d naturally say let’s have an adventure, but I was surprised you said absolutely not.”

“I’m not that crazy.”

Seo-jin laughed incredulously at that answer. ‘You’re the type who would do that.’ He looked at him with that expression. Jae-yi calmly accepted his harsh assessment and shrugged.

Come to think of it, considering his usual behavior, he should have been fussing about putting chains on the wheels and going down. If Jae-yi had been alone, he might have actually done that. But he didn’t want to risk Seo-jin’s life.