RSL Ch 25

I was unlucky. There were no flights for three days after Han Jae-yi moved into Gisella’s hotel. He said he’d call me back, but I didn’t hear from him all day yesterday. The feelings of hatred that had bubbled up out of nowhere had swelled to the point where I couldn’t help but call him first. No one was at fault, but one person was hurt. Again, I was unlucky.

Early in the morning, I headed to the fitness center where Co-pilot Cho Min-woo told me about. After registering as a member, I immediately got on the treadmill. I ran until I was exhausted, unable to muster the strength to get up. Drenched in sweat, I still felt inadequate. I then moved to the swimming pool. I never left the water, as if I had rented a rail.

It wasn’t a workout, it was abuse. Muscles that suddenly received stimulation writhed and convulsed. Even after swimming until my whole body tingled, my mind was still confused. In the shower room, a man with a reddened body stood in front of the mirror. I covered my face with both hands, feeling suffocated.

On the way home, my phone rang, but I didn’t answer. It was the best I could do at the moment, but I knew that anything more would make things uncomfortable, so I planned to answer the next time he called, but he left a message instead.

[Seo Jin-ah, do you have a flight today? Let’s have lunch] 

I read it but didn’t reply. I wished he would care about me. Feeling childish and sulking, I lit a cigarette. Although I tried to mimic an adult’s composure, an obscene curse slipped out unintentionally. An elderly lady at the convenience store stared at me, her expression furrowed. I must have looked like a gibberish-speaking vagrant to her.

After finishing the cigarette, I casually replied.

[Sure. Where should we meet?]

Soon, I received a reply from him. As expected, it meant the three of us would meet. Opening the front door and entering the living room, I angrily threw my bag. I punched the living room wall in frustration. As a result, a wine glass fell from the kitchen shelf due to the recoil. It was a disaster in many ways.

Gisella Weber was ruining my plans. She was making my reason for fleeing to Korea meaningless. I wasn’t ready to see them together yet, and she was asking for it too soon. It’s not even time for a drink. Having lunch with someone I disliked felt like torture.

Nevertheless, an hour later, I found myself heading to the Yeouido hotel where they were staying. Throughout the journey, I mentally prepared myself. After all, I had to attend the wedding. Perhaps it would be better than cutting the first tape in a wedding dress and tuxedo. Maybe it would surprisingly turn out okay. Seeing Han Jae-yi with his fiancée might make me give up cleanly.

…Give up? Damn it. Was I secretly hoping again? It was clear that I had been trying to fill the void of the past three weeks with unreasonable expectations. It needed to be quickly dispelled.

* * *

I arrived at the hotel and got out of the car. Handing over the valet parking, I entered the lobby. It was one of the higher-end five-star hotels. It was easy to spot the striking blonde in the cafe on the first floor. I stood at the entrance and took a moment to compose myself.

Gisella was sitting alone. Her loose white shirt revealed glimpses of her slip and neckline. Her neatly extended legs under short shorts reached up to high heels. It was a fitting appearance for a former model.

I was probably looking at her with my hands in my pockets and a sulky attitude. Even though it had been 11 years since we graduated, Gisella recognized me at once.

“Maxi!”

She welcomed me with open arms. We shared a deep hug and a kiss on the cheek. Her hospitality exceeded my expectations, softening my heart a little. After all, she was also my former classmate and a long-time friend. Just as all human relationships are not simple, despite my feelings towards Han Jae-yi, I couldn’t deny a sense of warmth.

“Wow, you haven’t changed at all.”

She laughed coolly as she took her seat.

“Neither have you. I’d recognize you anywhere. Where’s Jae-yi?”

“He’s in the restroom. It’s been ages, Maxi. How have you been? How’s Korea? Is it livable?”

“It’s better than I expected. How about you? Congratulations on your marriage. Sorry for the late wishes.”

“Thank you. It feels different receiving congratulations from you.”

She sipped her sparkling water with a long pout. She showed me the menu and invited me to order a meal. I ordered a club sandwich and asked for water. I was about to get thirsty.

“Is there something going on in Korea? Jae-yi said you came without even contacting him.”

“I just wanted to come and see. I think it’s time for me to figure things out.”

Gisella swirled her straw and laughed. She seemed at a loss for words regarding reasons she could confidently present. Han Jae-yi’s nationality is German, but he’s still Korean. She had a good attitude. I couldn’t blame her.

“Hey, you’re here?  We haven’t seen each other in a while.”

Han Jae-yi approached the table. His short Korean was directed at me, while his lengthy German was for all of us. He pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. Gisella looked up at him as he did, her expression smiling but her gaze subtle.

She seemed to instinctively put back the bag that she had previously moved from the chair next to her. Technically, Han Jae-yi just returned to his original seat. They must have been sitting facing each other before I arrived. He picked up the coffee cup he had been drinking from.

“I wanted to have dinner at a nice place together, but Gisella’s feeling tired because of the jet lag. Let’s have dinner with just the two of us.”

It seemed like they had already discussed today’s schedule. Han Jae-yi responded with a smile, agreeing not to come too late due to her request not to be bored when she wakes up at night. His affection made me realize once again that it wasn’t my own.

My ordered sandwiches arrived, and we started eating. I had quite an appetite after exercising. Gisella lifted her long hair to eat her share of the salad. Han Jae-yi glanced at her as she tied her hair with the band she had around her wrist. Revealing her beautiful neckline, she smiled coolly again.

“Let’s eat.”

We talked about school for the first time in a long time. I hadn’t had much contact with Gisella, so there were a lot of things I was hearing for the first time. I didn’t realize that they had dated briefly.

“We didn’t date, we just saw each other a few times. I was doing pretty well back then, so maybe it was time for me to date Han Jae-yi?”

“But then we went on a date and we were both disappointed. I guess I had too many expectations.”

It was like a kind of formality between the most popular kids at school. A relationship where meeting the other person boosts your reputation. They continued to grope for memories that I didn’t know.

“But haven’t we been seeing each other for a couple months? I’m surprised you didn’t tell Maxie. I guess it wasn’t that big of an event for you?”

“We don’t usually talk about that.”

“What, about girls? Really?”

Gisella’s gaze fell on me. I had to swallow the sandwich I was eating. Well, I had never really introduced a serious girlfriend to anyone. I told her that this was her first time seeing me like this. That’s probably why I look like this now.

“I’m not the only one, right? Who was that girl you were dating around fifth grade? The tall, skinny British girl with big eyes.”

Han Jae-yi brought up a story that made it seem like I was also an accomplice. It was amusing how he was comparing things.

“We weren’t dating.”

“What do you mean, ‘weren’t dating’? You said you had to go home, then I found you kissing some girl behind your house in the garden. It was really ridiculous.”

“When did you see that?”

“Does that matter? You were a complete traitor. I almost ran over there to punch you.”

It was funny. I wasn’t kissing her that day, I was just looking at her bee-stung face, and it was kind of funny to imagine him clenching his fist because he misunderstood. So, I didn’t feel the need to correct the truth.

“You guys are kind of… funny.”

Gisella crossed her arms and looked at us. It’s a familiar reaction. Again, our relationship with Han Jae-yi made people around us tired. But since I had no intention of competing with his fiancée, I changed the subject.

“Have you set a wedding date?”

It was a bit of self-flagellation.

“It’s July 17th. We barely managed to schedule it before the city hall employee went on vacation.”

“Just a month left.”

I chuckled bitterly. I tried hard to keep my expression from showing, but I hoped no one noticed.

Maybe I would be dragged out of there like a cow to the slaughterhouse. Instead of shedding blood and having my throat cut, I would sign as a witness to the marriage vows of the person I love. I would have to vouch for the validity of this marriage with my name. Young Werther fled from Lotte’s wedding. Even that wasn’t allowed for me; I was pathetic for being so fearful.

Gisella met my eyes. She scrutinized my actions of tearing at the sandwich dryly. Her long eyelashes drooped down as she looked at my swollen, reddened knuckles and asked,

“Are you hurt?”

At her words, Han Jae-yi followed her gaze and looked at my hand.

“What’s wrong with your hand?”

“I bumped into something.”

“Where?”

“Well, I think it happened while exercising.”

I brushed it off as if it wasn’t a big deal. The sound of the wine glass breaking inside the house echoed in my mind once again. I felt embarrassed because I didn’t want to be found out.