RSL Ch 47

Elza Schmitz was born as the third daughter of a farm owner in the east of Beierkman-Schweiler. Her father converted part of the farm into a restaurant after the war to sell food to the people. She met and married Hermann Schmitz in her early twenties while still helping out in the family restaurant, and they had two sons and a daughter. Her second son, Karl Schmitz, met Angela Schmitz, and they had Christian. Ten years later, they adopted me.

The Schmitzes were a large family. As wealthy southern Germans, they were conservative and proud. Though the siblings seemed close, they rarely met.  After Hermann Schmitz’s death, Elza Schmitz became the head of this large family, and her power grew with the size of the assets Hermann left behind.

“Happy birthday, Grandma.”

“Maxie, I haven’t seen you in a while. Come here. Give me a hug.”

I bent down to hug her and lightly kissed her cheek. She held my hand and asked about my life, to which I recounted some mundane details.

She loved hearing stories about flying. When I first mentioned becoming a pilot, she mistakenly thought I was joining the Air Force, reminiscing about watching fighter planes fall from the sky in her youth. Her home still had Hermann’s old military uniform in the warehouse, which she had never thrown away.

The warehouse was like a museum to me. I found pre-reunification Mark coins and commemorative stamps issued the year the Berlin Wall came down. On the site of the old house, which hadn’t been renovated, there was still a large building that had been used as a stable.

Her land was very large, and now it was worth a lot. The Schmitz brothers didn’t know the contents of the will, so they still celebrated her birthday like filial piety. They threw her a party with their children, and I was more than happy to oblige. I wanted my stepfather to inherit a lot of land. Not for me, but for Chris.

“Would you like more salad?”

Chris accepted a salad bowl from across the table and offered it to me. I didn’t have much of an appetite after lunch with Han Jae-yi. I shook my head and declined. The birthday party had started at 6:00 and was moving slowly, and we were just getting to the main course.

More than thirty people sat around a large table in the middle of the garden behind Elza Schmitz’s mansion. No one was cooking exclusively. Everyone brought a little something to eat, and Sylvia had baked a cake for dessert.

It was a Schmitz family tradition to compliment every dish, even if insincerely, at least five times. I particularly praised the cheese noodle dish, smiling twice at my cousin, who looked pleased.

Today, I saw some relatives I hadn’t seen in a decade. Having only heard news about them, it was awkward but nice to reconnect after graduation. Most of them didn’t know I had moved to Korea.

“Are you going to continue living in Korea now?”

A cousin asked.

“I don’t know, I might have to come back in at the end of the contract.”

“Maxi, I wish we could all go to Korea while you’re there. Julius, could you pass the pepper?”

“Didn’t you say you were going to a friend’s wedding?”

“Oh, I was, but…”

“It got canceled. Now, he’s traveling alone.”

“Really? Where to? Dominic, could you grab this?”

“Sit down. Sit and eat first. Maxi, pass the sauce, please.”

“Oh, sure.”

I was lost in the back-and-forth conversation, barely able to respond. Every once in a while, I would make eye contact with my adoptive mother and force a smile. I had to force a smile whenever I made eye contact with my adoptive mother because I wanted her to constantly hear that I was fine and that I was doing well in Korea.

By nine o’clock, my grandmother began to feel sleepy. After roughly clearing the dishes, we started the gift-opening ceremony with only dessert and wine glasses left on the table. As each gift was unwrapped from the stack, I had to praise the giver for their discernment and hard work.

“Open this big one, Mom.”

My adoptive father pushed the large box I had brought toward her. The elegant silver wrapping paper was peeled away to reveal an expensive-looking English tea set. It was not just the price; the choice was impeccable.

“It’s so pretty, Maxi. I love it.”

“Do you remember Professor Han’s son? The one I was close to?”

“Yes, I know him.”

“It’s a gift from him. I brought flowers.”

“Oh my… please thank him.”

“Did you meet Jae-yi?”

While she was tearing open the next gift, my adoptive mother leaned over and cautiously asked me.

“We met briefly at lunch.”

“Is he okay? What happened to him?”

My adoptive mother was also close to Han Jae-yi’s mother. I wasn’t sure if they still kept in touch, but from the intensity of her questioning, she seemed very curious about the details. As I hesitated on how to respond, Chris interrupted.

“You’re not supposed to gossip about other people, Mom.”

Mrs. Schmitz fell silent at her eldest son’s reproach. I kept quiet by eating a piece of cake. Chris whispered to me.

“I’ll pretend not to know anything until you’re ready to talk. Take your time.”

I nodded, swallowing my cake.

The birthday party was almost over and people didn’t seem to want to get up from their seats. We drank wine and had heated discussions until almost twelve o’clock at night. Usually it starts with small talk about the town, then taxes, then refugees, and eventually politics. I just hoped there wouldn’t be any shouting tonight.

My cell phone rang on the table. Apparently, someone else was tired of waiting.

[Are you done yet?]

I quietly rose from my seat. I slipped out of the house around the back of the garden without anyone noticing and walked down the dark street. I pressed the call button.

“Are you still up?”

-Yeah. I got off work late and had a late dinner. Do you think it will take much longer?

“Uh-huh. Grandma Elza’s already gone to bed, but the others are talking nonstop.”

-The Schmitzes are known for their parties. Waiting for a bored Maxi Schmitz has been my job for 15 years. Are they talking politics again?

“Oh well. Right now, they’re trying to find out who voted for the Green Party.”

Han Jae-yi laughed and admitted it was him.

“Grandma loved your gift. She said to thank you. And thanks for my gift too. I’ll use it well.”

-Do you like it?

“Yes.”

What he gave me was a fountain pen. I always needed a few pens when I went flying, and receiving one with my name engraved on it was special. I wasn’t sure why he gave it to me. He claimed he bought it on a whim, but that felt like a lie. His second explanation, that he just wanted to do something nice, seemed closer to the truth.

“Dad’s a little drunk, and I think they’re going to get into another fight, so I’m going to keep an eye on him and go home first.”

-Still the same. It’s an Easter repertoire every year. Your dad and uncle get into a shouting match and then don’t talk to each other for the rest of the year.

“Yeah. We got tired of it and went home first.”

-Then you’d call me and vent all night. Whenever there’s a party at your house, I end up staying awake, waiting for your call.

I laughed at his comment. When I was younger, it was a struggle to stay seated while listening to adults talk about things that didn’t interest me. I couldn’t even show my displeasure because they were so particular about table manners. As soon as I got home, I would call Han Jae-yi to complain. If the call dragged on, we’d decide to meet up and talk in person, riding our bikes to meet halfway.

-We used to meet halfway.

“That wasn’t exactly halfway. You just insisted it was.”

-Whatever. It had benches and was a nice place to hang out.

“Yeah, the bus stop in front of the bakery.”

We laughed, reminiscing about old times. It was a 15-minute bike ride from home to the bakery with the large birch tree in front of it. Sneaking out at night to play there was a thrilling adventure.

As we got older, those late-night meetings became later and more mischievous. By the time weI graduated, we would meet up and drink or smoke. Most of the time I would walk in drunk at dawn, but my parents would be asleep, unaware that I was gone. It didn’t matter if they found out; he was a trusted friend, so I was very good at making excuses. “I was out with Jae-yi,” I’d say, and they’d understand.

-If it were like the old days, we’d already be meeting there.

“But you don’t live here anymore.”

I faced reality and calmed myself.

Before I knew it, I had circled the neighborhood and returned to Grandma Elza’s house.  The big apple tree in the corner of the garden had been planted by Hermann the year I was adopted. The tree, which had grown with me, gave off a pleasant scent. I leaned against its sturdy trunk and closed my eyes. Han Jae-yi’s voice sounded dreamlike.

-Do you still want to meet?

It was an hour’s drive away. Even if we met halfway, it was past midnight. He had to work tomorrow, and I had to go to the airport. But it was still closer than Korea. I laughed at his persistent reasoning. Han Jae-yi didn’t give up.

-I want to see you, can’t we?

I eventually gave in. I opened my physical eyes and closed my eyes of reason.  Fine, let’s meet. For old time’s sake, I’d join in his crazy idea.

More than half the people were still enjoying their wine in the lighted garden. I sneaked up behind Chris and asked if I could borrow his car. He immediately pulled his car keys out of his pocket and handed them over. He didn’t ask where I was going.

It’s been a while since I’ve driven a real autobahn. The speedometer fluctuated between 150 and 160. Han Jae-yi called.

“I’m on my way.”

-Take the exit from Abschtadt to Heilbronn. It’s faster.

I could hear the Porsche’s engine over the phone. I could imagine him racing down the empty autobahn.

“Another 10 minutes.”

-It’s okay, take your time.

The moon was visible. My heart was pounding as I turned onto the road to Heilbronn. I slowed down quickly and turned onto a narrow field road. On either side were endless fields planted with wheat. The road got narrower and narrower, and I was alone. I drove a little further into it.

We came to the ruins of an abandoned monastery that looked like it had been built in the 17th century. A familiar vehicle stood there, and Han Jae-yi stood under the moonlight, waiting for me.

I parked my car a short distance away in case of passing traffic. I got out and walked toward him. The surroundings were silent and dark.

A summer breeze blew through the wheat fields, making an occasional sound. Han Jae-yi was watching me walk by with a cigarette in his mouth, his expression a little different than when we met earlier in the day. He quietly turned off the tail light of his car as I pulled up beside him.