RSL Ch 54

I was flying to London. From the moment I landed at Heathrow in the rain, I felt the chronic gloom of this place spreading through my body. Watching the drizzle, which was too light to warrant an umbrella, I was reminded of cigarettes, something I hadn’t thought about in a long time. I had cut back considerably, but the moment I breathed in the London air, I started to experience nicotine withdrawal. It was a strange country indeed.

“Captain Schmitz.”

I was buying cigarettes at a kiosk when I heard a voice calling out to me. I assumed it wasn’t someone I knew because of the rudeness of calling someone’s name so loudly.

“Herr Schmitz!”

This time, I heard German. I turned in the direction of the sound and saw an unexpected person giggling.

“Joachim!”

I was so excited that I almost forgot to pay for my cigarette. As I rushed to pay, the cashier asked me to pay £11. It must have gone up again. I swiped my card and quickly put the cigarettes in my bag. Then I turned around and hugged my long-lost friend.

“How did we end up meeting like this? Did you have a flight?”

“Yeah, I just got here. I went to Korea and here I am. I’m so happy to see you.”

We hugged each other again and expressed our delight.

Joachim Meyer was a friend and colleague from my flight training. He was one of my closest friends at the time, and the best person to talk to for relieving stress during my co-pilot days.

Without hesitation, I suggested dinner tonight, and he agreed without a second thought. We agreed to meet on Liverpool Street at 7:00pm and split up to our respective hotels.

Back in my hotel room, I shared trivial flight details and the story of meeting Joachim at the airport with Han Jae-yi. Fortunately, the Joachim he remembered was quite macho and hippo-like, which didn’t offend the jealous man. We don’t want to turn every man in the world into a closeted gay man just because we’ve been there.

When I walked out of the hotel, the rain had stopped. I hailed a taxi waiting outside the lobby. I wanted to burn off a cigarette before meeting Joachim, so I stopped a little further than our meeting point. I stood in a graffiti-covered spot on a cement wall that was haphazardly stretched and lit a cigarette.

A shabbily dressed man approached me and begged for a cigarette. Not wanting to make a scene, I gave him a cigarette without asking. He put the cigarette in his pocket, which he didn’t even smoke, and walked away. He seemed to be collecting cigarettes that way. I walked in the opposite direction from where he disappeared.

I walked into a pub on the first floor of a Victorian building that was lit by low, gas-like lighting. It was so dark that I couldn’t even tell where the tables were and where the counters were. Servers and customers mingled together, and I stood there for a moment, not sure who to ask for directions. Luckily, my eyesight soon adjusted to the darkness and I had no trouble finding Joachim.

He sat hunched over like a snail, sipping a pint of ale at a small table that barely reached his thighs. He was nearly back-to-back with the person sitting behind him, and next to him was a couple drinking standing up. It felt more like a rave party than a pub.

“Is the owner here a hobbit?”

I walked over to him and pulled out the chair next to him. It was too small even for me. Giggling, Joachim grabbed a server who happened to be passing by and ordered a beer for me. The server, who wore a ridiculous hat, nodded as if listening and disappeared. I doubted he’d remember.

“Things aren’t quite right in the UK these days.”

Well, true. I fixed the little iron stool to which my ass was uncomfortably glued once more and sat down. Joachim rocked the table from side to side a few times with his thick hands to steady it, and then, with a bang, the tabletop came apart. We stared at each other in stunned silence until someone came by and took the tabletop.

“It’s part of the concept.”

The server secured the table and set a mug of ale down in front of me. At first, I was surprised that he remembered my order correctly. I clinked glasses with Joachim and sipped the ale, which tasted excellent. He read my expression and showed off his discernment by calling me a big shot.

“How’s work? Anything new?”

“Flo finally passed her captain exam.”

“See, I told you she would be fine.”

“Sasha moved to a new company.”

“Oh, I saw her post about it.”

“They didn’t do it like someone do, just leaving without saying anything.”

“Come on, not again.”

“Because. None of us knew until you wrote your resignation. Why the hell did you do that?”

I knew it would come up whenever I saw my friends. Now that the reason for my impulsive decision had disappeared, it was just a topic I wanted to avoid.

“I’ll explain slowly. I’m hungry, let’s order some food. Even dried-up fish and chips would do, I just want something to eat.”

“You have to go over there and order food. It’s self-service.”

“Is that a concept?”

Joachim chuckled and rose from his seat. He pushed his way past the crowd and made his way to the counter. I pulled out my phone and saw that there were no messages back. Proof that Han Jae-yi had fallen asleep. It was purely my fault, but the feeling of a long-distance relationship hadn’t completely gone away, and I felt bad.

“What is it, a lover?”

Back at the table, Joachim caught me looking at my phone. He gave me a look that said you’ve been caught red-handed today, and then began to shake the fragile table and question me.

“Are you dating? Are you in a relationship?”

“Don’t shake the table. You’re spilling beer.”

“How long are you going to nurse that beer? Who is she? Is she Korean? Is that why you went to Korea?”

Half right, half wrong. The order was also reversed, but it was easier to just accept it.

“If I say yes, will you let it go?”

Joachim gave me a look of incredulity, but nodded. He was always lenient when it came to relationship issues, so I decided to let it slide. It wasn’t entirely a lie, so I might as well admit it.

“Weren’t you dating someone from your previous company’s crew? Did that not work out?”

“It didn’t go well.”

“She was really pretty, though.”

“Yeah. That’s why it didn’t work out.”

A server passing through the narrow aisle accidentally dropped a french fry onto our table. As she apologized, Joachim laughed and ate the fallen fry. This place was a complete mess. I felt like Alice in a chaotic, disorderly world.

“What does the new person you’re seeing do? Are they in our field?”

“No, not at all. They’re a lawyer.”

“A lawyer? You must have a lot of lawyers around.”

I was deciphering his words as I emptied my ale glass.

“Wasn’t that friend who used to show up unexpectedly during our training and take you away also a lawyer?”

“Oh, right.”

“Didn’t you say he joined Niel & Yan, he must be making a lot of money.”

“Well… yes.”

I raised a glass to Han Jae-yi’s abandoned career. I wondered if I could have made up my mind so quickly. I always left the questions that couldn’t be easily answered blank and annotated them with the excuse that I only respected his choice. In any case, everyone should be responsible for their own actions. Lately, I’ve been seeing more of this self-help book mentality, and it’s starting to bore me.

As the night wore on, the pub became more crowded, with more people standing than sitting. The tables moved every time someone walked by. Later, we gave up and let it wobble.

The server who brought us the ale leaned against the wall and sighed with exhaustion.  Despite feeling sorry for him, we needed more drinks.

“I’ll be back in just a minute to get it for you.”

“Take your time. Nice hat, by the way.”

I pointed to his pointed red woolen hat. Was wearing something out of season also part of the concept? Suddenly, he took off the hat and placed it on my head.

“Hold on, I’ll get you a beer.”

I glanced back at Joachim. He chuckled and stood up to get the food, leaving me with a sense of duty to keep the hat on as if it had become a landmark on our table. Not ten seconds after Joachim left, someone came over and asked if the seat was available. I understood why people were wandering around. It was truly chaotic.

Joachim returned to the dwarf chair he had so meekly guarded and sat down. He held up a plate of fried fish and potato cutlets that looked like they had been fried for hours, slathered with mayonnaise.

“You know, in-flight meals have been getting worse lately. If they were even as good as this, I’d consider bringing my own lunch box.”

“I thought you said they were switching vendors?”

“Yeah, it’s been talked about, but nothing’s changed yet. How’s the new company? It’s a national airline too, right? Do they give you a relaxed schedule?”

“Well, it’s all reasonable and fine, but the layover is a little on the short side.”

“It’s better that way. When I was a Co-pilot, I traveled around a lot. Nowadays, I just want to get home and rest as quickly as possible. Do you live with your girlfriend?”

He forked furiously at the potato cutlet heavily slathered with mayonnaise, while I tried to restore the flesh of a fish that had separated from the batter.

“Yes, we live together.”

“She doesn’t complain? This job looks glamorous from the outside, but it’s the worst for a partner.”

“Well, it seems okay for now.”

I took a bite of the restored fried fish. With flavors this good, I can’t complain in London.

“She’s very understanding. I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakup again. Being apart for more than half the month makes it hard; we argue a lot. Don’t you guys fight? How long have you been dating?”

“Uh, about a month?”

“Heh. You’re in the best phase.”

I smiled and nodded at his words, but the word ‘best’ had a comparative connotation that I avoided using as much as possible. Because from the moment we’d kissed in Rome, every day had been equally as good.

Thinking about the memories I had with Han Jae-yi in his absence made me miss him. I wanted to eat, drink coffee, and tell silly jokes with him. I didn’t look forward to flying anymore. When I got back, I’d spend every second with him. Joachim chuckled.

“I can see the excitement on your face. You’re in love. But why hasn’t the beer come yet?”

Now that he mentioned it, it had been a while since we ordered. We looked around for the server who’d disappeared after leaving me with his hat, but he was nowhere to be found. We waited another ten minutes, and even when we placed the order with another server, he didn’t reappear—not even when we paid.

What the hell, is this a concept, or did he just run away from work? With the hat we couldn’t return, Joachim and I left the pub. We looked at each other in disbelief and laughed.

The noise inside was replaced by the damp, cool night air. I turned back once more to look at the pub’s window. With the dim lighting inside, it felt like peering into a shadow puppet show. Silhouetted figures were drinking and laughing, their movements monotonous and repetitive.

I licked my lips, recalling the distinctly savory taste of the ale.

“Let’s go.”

At Joachim’s words, we walked away together. It had been a strange night.