RSL Ch 6

The co-pilot communicating with the control tower also seemed quite tense. Rain wasn’t the issue; airplanes aren’t like cars, so there’s no risk of skidding accidents in the rain. The real concern was the wind. Wind blowing directly onto the runway during takeoff could cause wind shear, a sudden change in the wind’s direction or speed. It’s a situation that every pilot fears.

A report came from the cabin manager stating that all passengers had completed boarding. The aircraft doors were closed. From now on, I had to handle everything on my own.

‘Maxi, try to stay calm!’

It felt like the voice of the instructor who used to poke at me eight years ago. Kiyok, don’t worry. On days like this, I get really nervous too.

-Coreana Airlines Flight 803, line up and wait for runway 21.

Following the control tower’s instructions, we entered Runway 21. Since it was an airport I had been to many times before, taxiing was not difficult. Raindrops hit the cockpit window. The co-pilot on the right, after receiving takeoff clearance from the control tower, gave the okay sign. I gradually increased the speed, sliding along the runway.

50, 80, 110, 130…

The spoilers on the wings of the plane were shaking vigorously due to air resistance. At 130 knots, I hesitated whether to lift the nose further. If there was any chance of wind shear, it was risky. Should I abort takeoff? The runway was almost coming to an end.

I accelerated the speed up to 150 knots. And then, we took off.

The aircraft, making a rumbling sound, found stability. Fortunately, the wind didn’t blow too strongly. Once we broke through 20,000 feet, the shaking stopped completely.

Phew… All three pilots sighed simultaneously. For a while, none of us spoke.

The passengers in the back probably didn’t know. To them, it might have been just another overseas trip, but in reality, today’s takeoff was quite dangerous. Many pilots were sending signals on the common communication channel, indicating they would give up takeoff and wait at the gate.

“I thought you were going to give up, but you’re amazing.”

In the silence, the rookie co-pilot spoke first.

“I thought about that.”

“The speed was already over 100, so there wasn’t much you could do, right?”

“Yes, exactly.”

Another captain sitting in the observer seat, with a tone suggesting he knew, chimed in with an explanation. After smoothly climbing to an altitude of 35,000 feet, I switched to autopilot. I grabbed the microphone for the in-flight announcement.

“Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking, Coreana Airways. Welcome to flight number 803 non-stop Frankfurt to Seoul…”

Grateful for taking charge of the takeoff, two pilots offered me the first choice for in-flight meals.

“Well, then, let me try the Korean meal.”

It wasn’t something I particularly favored, but having lost the meal choice several times before, I wanted to try it once. Perhaps due to a bit of tension, I also felt like having coffee. Just then, the cabin manager appeared in the cockpit camera. I thought I should ask for coffee right away, but when she opened the door, I heard some commotion from outside. I wondered if a complaint had come in, so I asked.

“Oh, yes. There’s a very influential figure among the business class passengers. Our crew is a bit excited about it.”

“Haha. Did a celebrity board the flight?”

The relatively youngest co-pilot was curious.

“No, it’s not like that. Captain, I’ll bring your coffee right away. Co-pilot, what would you like?”

“I’ll have some coffee too.”

“Sure.”

She went out again, but each time she opened and closed the door, the noisy chatter of cabin crew members could be clearly heard. Flight attendants are human and often talk about passengers when they are amongst themselves. I’ve heard that it’s not uncommon for a passenger to express interest in you on a flight and end up giving you their number. I envied those who could easily start dating that way.

The cabin manager returned. She brought the coffee and dissolved a bit of sugar in it. The noise from the back still continued. When the cabin manager, sitting in the observer seat, asked again who it was, the manager smiled and answered.

“Do you know Daniel Lee? There’s a passenger on board who looks a lot like him, and they’re both saying they’re going to serve him.”

“Oh, that American guy from the movie. I remember him because my wife was crazy about him.”

“Even though it’s just someone who looks like him and not the actual person, you guys are going crazy? Haha, interesting.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. This one’s more handsome, from what I can see.”

The three of them laughed, thinking it was funny. As I listened to their conversation, I kept getting a chill down my spine. I learned the actor’s name for the first time. There was only one person I could think of at first when they mentioned the resemblance.

‘Let’s talk in person about the details.’

The phone call from Singapore last week resurfaced in my mind. No way. It seemed absurd, but if the other person was Han Jae-yi, it was possible. He was impulsive in everything.

“Manager, can I see the passenger list?”

“Huh? Oh, sure.”

I needed to confirm with my own eyes since I didn’t want to continue the flight with this uncomfortable feeling. I scanned through the passenger list she brought. Looking at the J-row, I felt a sense of despair.

(Jae-yi Han (B) ST Diamond – 21A).

Sure enough, Han Jae-yi was on the plane.

After completing the 5-hour first leg of the flight, I handed over the controls. When the co-pilot asked if I was going straight to the rest area, I shook my head. There was someone I had to meet. I opened the cockpit door and approached the business class.

The cabin was in complete darkness for passengers to sleep, but the sound of the engines filled the air, creating an eerie silence. There was no need to find a seat. In the dark cabin where everyone was asleep, one man, alone, had turned on a reading light and was working with a laptop.

On the tray, a half-empty bottle of white wine was placed, and the face, with the chin resting on it, was reflected in the laptop screen’s glow. I approached and stood silently beside him.

After a short while, he slowly lifted his head. “Why are you here?” My expression probably conveyed that question. Just as if we had met yesterday, he casually uttered the first words.

“Isn’t it fascinating?”

“What.”

“I just asked for the fastest ticket to Korea, and I got it, but of course I went out of my way to buy a ticket from your company in hopes of getting lucky.”

“Is that so.”

“I figured we’d have a hard time getting off the ground.Thanks to you, I know a bit about flying. Watching you calmly climb up, I thought, ‘This captain has some skills.’ But then I heard your voice in the in-flight announcement, and I was like, ‘Wow’.”

After receiving such a heartfelt compliment, I was at a loss for words.

“Did you switch places with the pilot?”

“Yeah, but leaving that aside, I’m curious why you’re here.”

A German lawyer like him wouldn’t have any business coming to Korea. When I asked if it was a vacation, he denied it.

“I said I’d work from home for about a month. Lately, there isn’t much need to go to court, so I thought it would be okay.”

“Why would you do such useless things?”

“Because of you. Where else could there be another reason?”

“Why because of me…”

I quickly shut up, as the sleeping passenger in the seat in front of me lifted his head and glanced over at us. Apparently, our ongoing conversation had disturbed his sleep.

“Come out here for a minute. We need to talk.”

He organizes the tray and stands up. A figure that was a little taller than me, followed me to the back catering cart compartment and closed the curtain. I leaned against the door to the crew restroom and crossed my arms. I asked again. So, why because of me.

“When I asked you to come with me every time, you always refused. Suddenly, you decided to live in Korea permanently, and I just couldn’t understand. It seems like you have no intention of telling me over the phone… so I thought if you were by my side for about a month, I might find out.”

“What.”

“The reason you ran away.”

I felt a bit puzzled and secretly delighted. Even if it’s selfish, isn’t that how human emotions work? Hearing that someone I like came to Korea for me, skipping ten days of work, I couldn’t help but feel a subtle sense of happiness.

“Anyway, we’ve got some time before the wedding, and I’ve barely had time to be with you in recent years, so I thought it would be nice. Kind of a bachelorette party.”

The moment he mentioned a month-long bachelor party before his wedding, the initially happy feeling shattered into pieces. A complicated mix of emotions surged within me. I’m no saint, and I didn’t want to spend an entire month celebrating his marriage. My conclusion was that I had to send him back to Germany with a modicum of defense.

“Captain, you’re here. Oh?”

Suddenly, the curtains opened and two cabin attendants entered. They had come to get the catering cart and were surprised to see me and Han Jae-yi. One of them said, “I know him,” and the other said, “I can’t believe the captain asked him out.”

Seeing them struggling to take out the cart from the upper compartment, I reached out to help. It appeared someone requested a late-night snack.

“Captain, would you like something too?”

“No, thank you.”

“If there’s anything you need, please let us know, sir.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Then have a good chat.”

After they left, I looked at Han Jae-yi again. Where were we in our conversation? Right, a reasonable defense and patience. Next, there were realistic issues to address.

“Does Gisela know you came to Korea like this?”

“Well, sort of.”

At least she knew. I suddenly felt like a test subject exploring how immature a person can become. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Was it the thought that Han Jae-yi suddenly read my mind, gave up on the wedding, and came to see me? Feeling a sense of disappointment, I sank into endless bleakness.

“The uniforms are better at this company. Or not, are they all the same? Seems like you’ve lost some weight.”

Han Jae-yi grabbed my shoulder and squeezed on my forearm. My arm, gripped tightly by his heavy hand, crumbled out of shape. In fact, I’ve lost six kilograms in a month. I hadn’t been able to afford to exercise regularly, so I had lost some muscle, and the fact that he noticed it right away made me wonder where our 15-year friendship had gone.

It was hard to tell in the dark, but Han Jae-yi had a bit of a tan. He loved the sunshine and had a habit of laying out wherever he could when summer came around.

I have many memories of riding my bike along the Neckar River in search of Han Jae-yi, who disappeared during class. I could still remember lying down next to him and falling asleep, only to wake up and see him looking up at me and smiling. Then we would wait for the ice cream truck that would ring its bell every afternoon around 3 p.m. We would tease each other that we would end up choosing the same flavor and that we would always struggle in front of the truck.

My youth was filled with everyday life that couldn’t be drawn without him.

“Seo-jin-ah.”

At thirty, he pulled me back into the real world.

“You’re not doing this because of me, are you?”

I turned my distant gaze back to him. With barely enough room for another person to pass, he and I stood in the darkness, both craving different answers. My friendship with him bruised me.

“No.”

I had to take responsibility for my words, so I forced myself to feign sleepiness. I sent Han Jae-yi back to his seat and headed to the sleeping quarters. I squeezed into a space barely enough for an adult man to lie down, propped up a makeshift pillow, closed my eyes, and tried to sleep. My condition was not great.