RSL Ch 62

After completing the Taipei flight, I had a day off. Han Jae-yi was unavailable all day, so I ate dinner alone and packed for my flight to Amsterdam. The layover was two days, but since we’d arrive at dawn local time, it would feel like we were spending about three days there.

Like other European airports, I had passed through Amsterdam Schiphol Airport countless times, but surprisingly, I had never had a personal itinerary there. Even though it’s one of the countries bordering Germany, I never seemed to have had a chance to explore it. Almost as if it was meant to be saved for this journey.

‘What nonsense am I thinking? I absolutely hate this.’

I had suggested to Han Jae-yi that he stay with me at the company-provided hotel, but he flatly refused. He said it would be awful to be in a place full of crew members where we couldn’t even hold hands and had to act formal. After hearing his reasoning, I couldn’t disagree, so I didn’t stop him from booking a separate hotel.

He returned home past 10 PM and held onto me for a long time, not letting go. Even though he was the one who had been away, he complained about how little time we had together. I know very well that Han Jae-yi always expresses his affection in such a way. As he collapsed on the couch, showering me with kisses, I could smell the same whiskey scent as before.

The next day, we left the house together. I was heading to work, and Han Jae-yi was going on vacation, so I let him take the wheel to the airport. After parting ways at Incheon Airport’s Terminal 1, I went to the company’s operations office while he started the check-in process.

It had been a while since I last participated in a long-haul flight with a crew of two pairs. These days, most flights were operated with three pilots to save labor costs. Among the two co-pilots, one had already flown with me before. So, he and I agreed to take the first half of the flight, leaving the second half to the other two.

After the briefing, I casually asked the cabin manager if there were any open seats in First Class today. She said there were, and I felt relieved just thinking about getting out of the cramped cockpit bunk.

“Captain, have you had your regular flight evaluation?”

One of the co-pilots seated in the cockpit started a conversation.

“Not yet. Now that you mention it, I heard it’s around this time of year. Have you had yours?”

While entering the flight route information into the FMS (Flight Management System), his question reminded me of something I had completely forgotten.

Pilots undergo periodic flight evaluations, and failing one can be quite troublesome. According to the explanation I received when I signed my contract with the company, penalties accumulate based on your score, and if you exceed a certain number of penalties, you’ll have to undergo retraining and refrain from flying for six months. It’s a big deal—similar to how Korean men often say it’s like going through military service twice.

“I’m scheduled for my next flight. It’s partly a matter of luck who you’re paired with, so it’s really great if you’re with a captain who you sync well with. It would have been perfect if it were today, but it’s a shame. Haha.”

He laughed as he made a flattering remark, but I didn’t mind.

“If you’re saying that to flatter me, you’ve succeeded. How about taking off from Schiphol?”

“I’d love to.”

He laughed and took the checklist. It goes without saying, but I especially like co-pilots who are eager to fly. Many co-pilots are intimidated by European airports, so I appreciated his willingness to take the challenge. I made a mental note of his code name, hoping to remember more co-pilots I’d like to work with in the future.

* * *

“I have control.” (This is the call sign used when transferring control of the aircraft.) “Thank you for your hard work. Get some rest.”

At 31,000 feet over Russian airspace, I handed over control to the second half captain who had entered the cockpit for the shift change. Just then, the cabin manager, who had come in with him, turned to me with a somewhat urgent tone.

“Captain, could you come with me for a moment? There’s an emergency.”

I glanced at the co-pilot beside me, wondering what was going on, and quickly followed her out. Given that we’d recently experienced an emergency situation, I was already thinking of contingency plans for a possible diversion. She drew the curtain of the First Class section and pointed to an empty seat.

“Captain, please have a seat here for a moment.”

“What?”

Perplexed, I looked around, but before I could figure out what was going on, the cabin manager hurried off, saying she’d be back soon. The co-pilot and I tried to assess the situation, scanning the dim cabin.

Had a lithium battery exploded? I wondered if it was an issue with the water pressure system in the A350’s restroom, something I had heard was a common problem. While I was trying to predict the situation, the curtain dividing the section was pulled open, and she returned. Behind her were two crew members holding up their phone flashlights and a man carrying plates with cakes in both hands.

Oh no… I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t lift my head.

Han Jae-yi pushed a cake with lit candles towards me and started singing a birthday song, wearing a mischievous expression and a relaxed smile.

I didn’t know where to look and awkwardly cleared my throat. Thankfully, the noise of the airplane engines masked the sound, or else I might have already fled the scene out of sheer embarrassment.

It seemed that everyone was in on it, as even the two First Class passengers were clapping silently and looking in our direction. I felt like offering a reward to anyone who could stop this man.

When the song ended, everyone gathered around me, urging me to blow out the candles.

“There’s no fire, but just pretend. Blow on them and make a wish.”

“What do you think you’re doing? I might just have you arrested for causing a disturbance on the flight.”

I threatened Han Jae-yi with a frown. But the cabin manager sided with him.

“Your friend asked us as soon as he boarded because it’s your birthday, Captain. We’ve already got permission from the other passengers. Go on, blow out the candles.”

“Cabin manager….”

“Oh, what’s the big deal? It’s your birthday. Captain, you’re really shy, aren’t you? Hahaha.”

Even the co-pilot chimed in, nudging me to blow out the candles on the cake. Left with no choice, I blew out the candles sitting alone on the cake. Everyone clapped and wished me a happy birthday. Embarrassed but grateful, I thanked them and sent them back to their seats. After everyone had returned to their places, I scolded Han Jae-yi.

“This is my workplace. You’ve gone too far.”

“If you’re so upset, you can come to my workplace on my birthday and throw a party.”

He tapped my leg, signaling me to move to the seat next to him. It seemed the seat I had been sitting in was originally his. Once I moved over, Han Jae-yi sat down and handed me the cake plate again.

“Eat it. If you don’t have at least a bite of your birthday cake, you’ll have bad luck all year.”

He turned on the dim light attached to the seat, illuminating the plate. It was a cherry cake topped with almond powder and cream. I cut a piece with the plastic fork the cabin manager had provided and put it in my mouth. It tasted good.

“I’ll give you your gift once we land.”

“There’s another gift besides this?”

He shrugged with a smile, as if to say he didn’t know. Then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear.

“Happy birthday, Seo-jin.”

As he said this, he briefly kissed my lips and then took the hand holding the fork and kissed it as well. Instinctively, I glanced over at the passenger in the opposite window seat, but he seemed to think the show was over and had already reclined his seat, apparently trying to sleep.

“Thanks. Now I feel pressured about your upcoming birthday.”

I always made sure to celebrate his birthday too, but because of my job, I often showed up a few days late.

Celebrating the birthday of someone you’ve known for a long time can be challenging. You can’t give the same gift every year, so I often find myself wondering what to get this time.

I mostly gave him work-related items, while he usually gave me clothes or shoes. We had already accumulated fifteen gifts between us, but today, I received a kiss at 31,000 feet as my present.

“Oh, that reminds me—I do have one gift in mind that I’d like.”

Han Jae-yi leaned his upper body towards me and spoke in a voice only I could hear. I asked what it was.

“Joining the Mile High Club with you.”

His unexpected comment made me blush without realizing it. Seeing my reaction, Han Jae-yi laughed and playfully smacked my thigh. That was a mistake. He immediately grabbed my hand and placed it between his thighs. Even over his pants, I could feel the heat of his already heavy arousal.

“Can’t we work something out under the captain’s authority?”

“It’s not your birthday today.”

“So, that means you’ll do it when my birthday comes?”

“If we get caught, it won’t just be a disciplinary action. It’s grounds for contract termination.”

“Such a shame.”

I pulled away from his teasing and opened a blanket wrapper to cover his now conspicuous lower body.

Checking the time, it seemed I could stay by his side for the next four hours or so. I carefully reclined the seat, making sure my uniform and hair didn’t get too disheveled, then aligned my gaze with Han Jae-yi’s. I knew I should sleep, but I’m not always rational.

I enjoyed spending time quietly chatting with him in the darkness. Even if it got marked as poor work conduct, I felt like I had a good excuse. After all, today was my birthday.

“Do you get more nervous when someone you know is on board? When you’re flying, I mean.”

“Well, when it’s family, I tend to be a bit more careful.”

“How was it today?”

Han Jae-yi compared himself to my family, asking how I felt about being responsible for the life of someone I love.

“I was nervous. I tried not to make any mistakes.”

He slowly took my hand and intertwined our fingers.

“I was at ease. Even if we crashed, we’d die together. I was relieved, thinking I wouldn’t be left alone.”

Han Jae-yi rambled on with his unnecessary thoughts.

“Your job is amazing, but sometimes I worry so much that I check your company’s flight information page dozens of times a day. Even when it says the plane has already landed, if I haven’t heard from you, I get anxious by the minute. Ever since we started dating, I’ve been more worried and anxious. Isn’t that funny?”

I looked down at our warmly clasped hands. Then I reassured him, telling him not to worry so much. Maybe he’d just watched too many movies. Compared to a car accident, the odds of dying in a plane crash are astronomically low. Yet the reason it seems more dangerous is because the end is so dramatic.

I suddenly recalled the black box recording from a B737 crash a few years ago. Until the moment they crashed into the sea, the captain and co-pilot did everything they could to save the passengers, but they were simply unlucky.

A pilot can instinctively sense the end of a plane. When they realize there’s nothing more they can do, instead of a callout, they often leave a final message.

“It’s over. Tell my wife I love her.”

With those words, the B737 plummeted into the sea and was lost forever.

If I ever face such a moment, I vowed to remember today. I would leave my final words to my lover, my longest-standing friend, who has made my life worth living.

“Thank goodness you’re not on board today.”

For some reason, that thought alone made me feel like I could leave with half the burden lifted. Like the protagonist in a disaster movie trying to hold back overwhelming emotions, I remained silent for a while.