RSL Ch 72
by SoraiOur conversation in front of the entrance door echoed down the villa building staircase. Han Jae-yi, looking like he didn’t want to hear it, silently entered the passcode instead of me and opened the door.
He tried to push me inside forcefully and go back out, but I grabbed him. I was sorry, but it seemed he wanted some time alone to think, and I felt like I would wither away waiting for that. I wanted to know the real reason why he was so upset, whether he got angry or hit me.
“Did you talk with Co-pilot Cho Min-woo?”
At that, Han Jae-yi’s expression became calm. His exhaled breath grew louder and louder until it turned into sighs. He nodded.
“Why, what did he say? Surely not…”
I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence I had unconsciously started. It’s absurd. Even if he’s someone who exceeds expectations, how could someone who clearly knows I like Han Jae-yi say such a thing? And of his own accord? Please say it’s not true.
“I couldn’t avoid greeting him since he was waiting outside, supporting you. Since he’s not someone I like, my words came out a bit stiff, but he laughed it off good-naturedly, saying there was no need for that. Something felt odd, so I probed a bit. It was quite shocking to learn that he knew about our relationship.”
He seemed to have given up on going out for fresh air now. He turned towards me again and came closer. His expression was more relaxed than before, but he looked somewhat lonely.
“Of course, I don’t think you told him. I pretended not to know and talked with him for a bit. As you said, he does have a nice personality.”
“…”
“He said he was rejected before he could even confess.”
I was being pushed back a step or two by Han Jae-yi’s approach. Soon, I felt the cold marble wall behind my back, with nowhere else to retreat.
The worst possible situation involving Co-pilot Cho Min-woo had occurred. Although I hadn’t deceived anyone, the fact that I had hidden his feelings for me and tried to maintain a good working relationship as colleagues was now exposed to Han Jae-yi. I really hadn’t expected this.
Since having feelings for someone isn’t a crime, I couldn’t blame Co-pilot Cho Min-woo, and since I had never been swayed by him for a moment, I wasn’t at fault either. Han Jae-yi, who had heard about our story through someone else’s mouth, was also in a position where he could justifiably be angry. It was truly the worst-case scenario. Everyone had to waste emotions even though no one had done anything wrong.
What should I do? While I was carefully choosing my words, Han Jae-yi spoke again.
“Don’t make that face. I’m not doubting you. Don’t I know you? You probably cut him off so perfectly that he was taken aback. You would have tried to wrap everything up neatly on your own and act as if nothing had happened. Right?”
“Nothing really did happen.”
He smiled as if he had expected that answer too, and as if that made it all the more empty.
“If nothing happened, why did you hide it so much?”
It wasn’t an excuse, but I thought it would turn out exactly like this. I thought it would lead to unnecessary fights. I didn’t want to have this kind of tense conversation with Han Jae-yi because of someone who meant nothing to me.
The issue had been almost completely resolved with the person in question, but I didn’t expect things to go wrong like this in the end. I never imagined Co-pilot Cho Min-woo would confess on his own. This was beyond my predictions. It was clearly my mistake.
“I’m sorry. You must have felt bad. I just didn’t want you to worry. It wasn’t even worth mentioning. It’s really not a big deal. It’s not even worth arguing about in this atmosphere.”
“Not a big deal? Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if someone had been chasing after me, and I acted like nothing happened with that person, not telling you and being friendly with them?”
“I would feel bad. But what could I do about it if they’re your work colleague? I can’t force you to do anything just because I feel bad. That’s for you to decide.”
Han Jae-yi looked at me with a hardened expression. And right here lies our opposing viewpoint. My separation of work and personal life, and his habit of always setting absolute priorities in everything. I understand his feelings as a lover, but he needed to be more rational. We’re no longer fifteen-year-old kids.
“Co-pilot Cho Min-woo didn’t try anything either. He didn’t even confess. Now he’s just treating me as a colleague without any feelings. You saw that too.”
“How can you be sure he has no feelings?”
I didn’t like this either. Doubt would spread like ink, and I had no way to resolve it. I wasn’t confident I could fight this endless battle every time until I quit my job.
“Okay, let’s say he still has feelings. So what? What more should I do here?”
Do I need to forcibly distance myself from him and isolate myself just to make Han Jae-yi feel better? Does he really not know me, the person who was about to file an avoidance request if he crossed the line even a little more? Now I was getting a bit annoyed.
Noticing my expression, Han Jae-yi lowered his tone and continued.
“I know. As I said before, your behavior was perfect. I’m not criticizing that. But if you had told me when that person showed signs of liking you, I wouldn’t have felt this hurt.”
“It would have been silly to make a fuss based on my own misunderstanding if it wasn’t true.”
“So what if it’s a bit silly? I’m hurt that you’re trying to save face with me.”
An argument that seemed like it would never end. My head was hurting more and more because of the alcohol, and although I tried not to say this as much as possible, I had no choice. I had a weapon I could use anytime. A weapon with omniscient power that could shut Han Jae-yi’s mouth in just one second.
“Ha… I had to save face.”
“So that’s what I’m saying is disappointing…”
“Because back then, you had someone you were going to marry.”
“…”
Han Jae-yi closed his mouth. He chose silence, unable to be angry with me anymore.
Our beginning wasn’t particularly beautiful, so there are parts that hurt both of us the more we dig into them. Red scars revealed when we clear away the clumsily buried mound of earth. Traces of the life on the other side that he forcibly cut off.
Even knowing that all of this was done for my sake, I reminded him that the original sin lies with him. It was cowardly, but I couldn’t help it. Confronting and clashing with Han Jae-yi was another fear for me.
To try and resolve the situation, I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.
“Let’s go in first. This doesn’t seem like a conversation we should have in front of the entrance.”
My gait was unsteady due to the persistent effects of alcohol. Han Jae-yi caught me as I almost tripped over the threshold of the entrance.
“You can’t even walk straight, but you sure can talk well.”
At those words, I sighed and sat down on the entrance threshold. I tried to untie my shoelaces but couldn’t quite reach them properly. Han Jae-yi, seeing this, untied the tightly knotted Oxford laces for me. Then, like a limp rag doll, we sat on the floor and stared at each other blankly. The sight made me laugh emptily.
72
“Is this… are we fighting?”
I said this while leaning against the wall, feeling drained. Han Jae-yi rubbed his face dry and let out a long sigh.
“Fight? What fight? How could I ever win an argument against you?”
His act of pretending to be weak in front of me was so amusing that I playfully hit his outstretched leg.
“Then what was all that grumbling about? You did it all yourself, being sarcastic and sharp.”
“Rebellion.”
He answered like that, and even he seemed to find it absurd as he burst into laughter.
Only then did I notice how tired Han Jae-yi looked. Covered in fatigue and stress, he looked like a drooping clown doll with his head bowed. You don’t need to force yourself to smile. I reached out and held his limp hand.
“I’m sorry. For letting you hear about that through someone else.”
It would have been better if I had just apologized from the start. Even though I understood that he could be rightfully upset, I had put up my defenses because he didn’t react as composedly as I had expected. Looking at his hurt face, I felt belated regret. As the embers of our fight began to die down after burning everything that could be burned, both he and I started to take a step back.
“I don’t want to see you two alone together. Just keep that promise. I won’t touch on this anymore.”
“That won’t happen. You know me.”
“Yes, I know.”
You know me better than anyone in the world. He looked at me with that expression.
As the tension eased, the drunkenness I had been holding back hit me again. I crawled towards Han Jae-yi and wrapped my arms around his waist. Then I buried my face in his chest and closed my eyes.
“Looks like you drank a lot. You still haven’t come to your senses. Are you feeling unwell?”
He massaged my shoulders and stroked my back. Enjoying the sensation, I slipped down and lay with my head on his leg. Looking up, I saw his expression had softened considerably from earlier.
“You’re leaving for your business trip tomorrow? How long will you be gone?”
“A week. If I can resolve things quickly, I’ll come back earlier.”
“Will you visit home?”
“Hmm, no. I won’t go.”
While it would have been natural to meet his parents since he was going to Germany where his family home is, he said the situation wasn’t good right now. Rather than meeting and hurting each other, it would be better to leave things be. Watching him seemingly having made up his mind about this, my heart wasn’t at ease either.
“You can’t avoid seeing them forever.”
“I know. I’m just giving them time.”
“If it drags on too long, it might become irreversible.”
“Yeah, I get it. Be quiet now.”
Han Jae-yi lowered his head and pressed his lips against mine. Our tongues slowly intertwined in our gently parted mouths. At first, I savored the soft, languid sensation of his tongue, but as the heat rose, I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer. Responding to my more active attitude, the kiss became a bit messier. Stretching my neck long and receiving his tongue as if in courtship, I was already letting out low moans, perhaps due to the alcohol.
Han Jae-yi’s hand had somehow invaded my shirt and was fondling my chest. Feeling his d1ck growing heavy against the nape of my neck, a different kind of lust arose than usual. I stopped kissing and raised my upper body. Then I immediately undid his belt and lowered his zipper. I lay face down, taking his d1ck, exposed with minimal undressing, into my mouth.
“Mmm…”
Han Jae-yi, supporting himself on his elbows, threw his head back and let out a languid sound. The sight of him receiving fellatio while still in his outerwear was quite incongruous. I took his firmly erect d1ck into my mouth and sucked hard, giving strong stimulation. It was an outpouring of my desire to excite Han Jae-yi and my s3xual urge to have his d1ck in my mouth and svck it.
Perhaps because of this, although he was the one receiving fellatio, it was my breathing that was becoming increasingly ragged. I gripped his d1ck, which barely fit halfway into my mouth, and used the glistening saliva as lubricant to pump it. Yet my desire was far from satisfied.
“Try taking it deeper.”
He gently pressed down on the nape of my neck, pushing his d1ck towards my throat.
“Ugh…”
“Good. Deeper.”
If I hadn’t been gripping the base with my hand, it might have slid all the way in. Slowly, as if training, I tried to increase the depth little by little. Saliva that couldn’t be swallowed properly dripped from the corners of my mouth.
Han Jae-yi’s hand pressing on my nape gave a strangely coercive feeling. I was gradually reaching my limit. After mentally counting to ten, I pulled out the d1ck I had been sucking to catch my breath. Han Jae-yi’s d1ck had hardened, but showed no signs of ejaculating.
“Haa, haa… It’s hard.”
“Come here.”
He pulled me close and kissed me again. The soft tip of his tongue swept across the mucous membrane of my mouth, which had just been accommodating his heavy d1ck.
“Shall we do it in the bathroom?”
I immediately accepted his proposal, his tongue rolling as if he could hardly hold back. Actually, I was the impatient one. It felt like the broken-down alcohol had turned into particles of pleasure, accumulating somewhere. Han Jae-yi was already unbuttoning my shirt. Clothes were thrown one by one from the entrance to the bathroom, and as the last piece of underwear fell to the bathroom floor, the shower stream hit our bodies.
“Slowly… Ah!”
After cleaning my body and loosening me up, Han Jae-yi immediately began to insert himself. I leaned my back against the shower stall wall and hung my arms around his neck. For a better angle, I wrapped one leg around his waist and offered my h0le. Although I asked him to go slowly due to the intense feeling of penetration, I closed my mouth after seeing his expression of extreme excitement.
“Haa…”
Instead, I bit my lip and focused on the pleasure rising like a heat haze from somewhere in my body. I imagined his d1ck repeatedly entering and exiting, touching the prostate in the narrow passage, though unseen. Han Jae-yi’s body, wet and slippery all over, and his eyes filled with excitement. As I entered the initial stages of slowly spreading desire, the feeling of impending orgasm began to surge as if it had been waiting.
I gripped and shook my own d1ck. Responding to my instinctive action, he increased his speed and bit my earlobe. Perhaps due to the alcohol, I lost my self-control and immediately ejaculated. Han Jae-yi then quickly pulled out and stroked himself to ejaculation.
We kissed, filled with a long afterglow, and embraced each other. Pressing our naked bodies together, I could feel his body temperature, skin, the breathing lungs and moving heart of my lover who had just finished making love. I buried my face in Han Jae-yi’s firmly held shoulder and closed my eyes. He quietly turned on the shower. The falling water washed away the byproducts of lust and the remnants of distrust.
The next day, Han Jae-yi left for his business trip to Germany.