RSL Ch 90

Along with those words, the rainwater from the puddle splashed up to waist level.

I took a step back in surprise, but the problem wasn’t me. Han Jae-yi’s clothes were soiled with muddy water. We stood still, looking at each other with dismayed expressions, and ended up getting soaked by the pouring rain.

“Damn it.”

“Shit.”

We both cursed in German at the same time. With the sudden downpour and the inconsiderate vehicle, I blamed the latter, but I’m not sure which one he cursed at. Either way, it was already spilled milk.

We came to our senses and got into the car. Upon closer inspection, the problem was quite serious. Not only were we wet, but there were mud stains on our clothes. We had dressed up so well, but now we looked miserable. I regretted arrogantly refusing the umbrella just a moment ago, and I laughed in vain.

“I’ll take you to the hotel. You’ll catch a cold if you stay like this.”

He immediately started the engine and turned on the heater. The intense hot air quickly began to warm up the interior. The vehicle quickly entered the road, and I took off my wet jacket and muffler and threw them onto the back seat.

Then at some point, I realized an even bigger problem. If I go to the hotel, he’ll go home. Then our date will end here. There were still three hours left until 6 o’clock. I felt upset at the thought of it ending so soon.

When I remained silent for a while, Han Jae-yi, who was driving, turned his head to look at me. Then he quietly took out some tissues from the console box and handed them to me.

“Wipe yourself first. Your hair is wet too.”

Without answering, I took the tissues and wiped the moisture from my face and around my neck. He was soaked more than me, but I couldn’t touch him, which was frustrating. Now I even started to resent the weather.

Perhaps because of the heavy rain, Han Jae-yi was driving very slowly. Only the sound of rain and the incessant wipers cleaning the windshield echoed inside the car. I rolled up the used tissue into a ball and held it in my hand.

Thinking about it again, the winter weather in Germany is really the worst. It pours rain like this, but it’s obvious that it will stop cleanly after just an hour or two. I turned my head towards the car window resentfully. I could feel him glancing at me from time to time, but I kept silent. Then Han Jae-yi quietly spoke up.

“… Or do you want to go to my place?”

I looked at him, and our eyes met briefly.

“In case you didn’t bring a change of clothes. I can lend you some.”

Of course, I had brought three sets of clothes to change into, but I didn’t hesitate to take the excuse he had created.

“Okay. Lend me some.”

At my answer, he quietly changed lanes.

Han Jae-yi’s apartment, which I returned to after a month, smelled a bit more lived-in. A small coffee tree I hadn’t seen before was placed at the entrance of the living room, and the soil was wet as if it had been watered in the morning. I shook off the mud from my shoes and handed my wet jacket and muffler to Han Jae-yi.

“Take a shower first. I’ll find some clothes and bring them to you.”

He shook off the jacket I gave him and hung it on a hanger, then spread the muffler wide on the sofa.

Han Jae-yi’s apartment doesn’t have a separate guest bathroom, so we have to shower one at a time. He gave me the first turn and went to his room to find clothes to lend me. I quietly entered the bathroom.

As I was unbuttoning my shirt inside without thinking, he came into the bathroom with a T-shirt and cotton pants for me to change into.

“These are your clothes. You left them here when you stayed over before. The pants are mine, but if they’re uncomfortable, I can give you something else.”

“Thanks. I’ll shower quickly and come out. You might catch a cold too.”

“Take your time.”

He took a towel from the cabinet and hung it on the rack.

Suddenly, I remembered the times we bathed together. I often stayed until the water got cold because I enjoyed talking with him in the bathtub. Han Jae-yi, who liked skin-to-skin contact, always barged in like an uninvited guest when I tried to take a bath. That way, one hour would turn into two, and two hours would often become three.

The reason I suddenly thought of those times was because Han Jae-yi now, like then, had burst in and seemed to have no intention of leaving. However, while he was providing necessary things, he didn’t seem interested in me, so I also pretended to be nonchalant as I took off my clothes and hung them over the bathtub. Fortunately, before my suppressed feelings could burst, Han Jae-yi closed the door and went outside.

I immediately took off my pants and underwear. It felt strange to be naked in the same space as him, separated only by a door. As I felt the hot shower water, it seemed to make me even hotter, so I lowered the water temperature and calmed my excitement.

After washing away my dirty thoughts, I neatly changed into the clothes he had prepared for me. Then, as if nothing had happened, I came out of the bathroom with my rain-soaked clothes.

“I made tea. Have some.”

He called me from the kitchen and handed me some herbal tea.

I wiped my unkempt hair with a towel as I brushed past him. I sat down at the dining table, inhaling the pleasant herbal scent. Then I suddenly realized that Han Jae-yi was still standing there.

“Thank you.”

I lifted the teacup to express my gratitude, and only then did he move. Is he uncomfortable because I’m here? Of course, I would return to the hotel before his dinner appointment time. So this was just a claim for the gift I was supposed to receive originally, and I decided not to mind too much.

Soon, the sound of the shower came from the bathroom. This time, he would be naked in there. Since it had been quite a while since we had s3x, this kind of atmosphere made me uncomfortable again.

If I didn’t know at all, it would have been difficult to imagine, but I also knew every corner of his body. Where to touch to excite him and what expressions he made when that happened. Because I remembered every little detail, my thoughts seemed to have no sign of stopping. I took a breath while drinking the herbal tea.

The rain had subsided a little. I noticed a box of chocolates placed next to the small window in the kitchen. Like a stray cat, I helped myself to one. Next to it was some leftover pasta that had hardened, and there were unwashed dishes piled up. These were traces of Han Jae-yi living alone. Without realizing it, I cleaned everything up and started the dishwasher.

“What are you doing?”

Han Jae-yi, who had finished showering, approached. Compared to earlier when he was all dressed up, he was now in a simple knit outfit. I wonder if he’ll change again later. He came up next to me and made his share of herbal tea. It was difficult to calmly ignore him as he smelled of shampoo from his wet hair. I slightly moved aside and sat down at the dining table.

“How’s the business going? Have you wrapped everything up?”

“I’m planning to leave the investment as is, without withdrawing it. I feel bad for Lawyer Choi too. I’ve just been wrapping up the existing cases we took on, but a few are still being handled here.”

He answered, pointing to the scattered documents on the living room table. I had guessed that being a responsible person, he would be finishing things up. I wondered if he would work in Germany again once everything was settled.

I asked about his personal circumstances without pushing too much. Han Jae-yi calmly told me about the ongoing events.

He said the place he worked at before moving to a large law firm wanted to contract him again. Also, a senior lawyer he was close with had offered him to join his company. Of course, this was good news for him, but I felt a bit sad. He could take a break for a while. It seems Han Jae-yi is trying to build a life without me, step by step.

The tea time on this rainy day continued quietly. Then his phone on the table rang.

“Yes. Did you receive the message? I see, it’s raining a lot, isn’t it?”

Han Jae-yi briefly left his seat, avoiding me. It seems to be the person he had an appointment with. I wonder if I’m getting in the way. Looking at the clock, it’s already almost 6 o’clock. They say the perception of time is relative, and today it really flew by surprisingly fast. Although I’m reluctant to part with him, I’ve already pushed my luck once, so I should back off now.

Han Jae-yi came back after ending the call. I hurriedly spoke first.

“Don’t you have to leave now? I can call a taxi, so don’t worry about me.”

“It’s okay. Have dinner before you go.”

“What am I supposed to eat alone in a house without its owner?”

I laughed and lightly brushed off his words.

“I cancelled the appointment. It wasn’t an important schedule.”

For a moment, I looked at him with a slightly surprised face. If it was important enough to dress up like that, wasn’t it a significant appointment? As if reading my expression, he pointed outside and added:

“Because it’s raining a lot.”

He put down his phone nonchalantly. The rain, which had weakened compared to earlier, quietly tapped on the railing, substituting for our silence.

“Yeah. It’s raining a lot.”

I repeated his words like a mantra and listened to the sound outside. Hoping the sound of the rain hitting would be a little louder, I put my lips to the cooled teacup again.

Did the other person cancel first? Or did he cancel to be with me? I hope it’s the latter. No, I should believe it is. If I don’t want to get tired quickly, shouldn’t I indulge in this kind of delusion as much as I can? Lost in a happy illusion, a good idea suddenly came to me.

“Shall I make some Korean food for you?”

Han Jae-yi looked at me at my sudden suggestion. He must have been surprised for two reasons. First, I’m very bad at cooking, and second, the menu is Korean food. However, I calmly ignored his reaction and persuaded him again with a confident expression.

“There was an Asian supermarket nearby, right? Isn’t something like Army Base Stew easy to make?”

“Well, that’s true.”

Han Jae-yi likes spicy food. Seeing his brightening expression, I knew it had hit the mark. He must have been missing Korean food. Actually, I didn’t care what we ate. I just wanted to enjoy doing something he liked together.

“Do you know how to make it?”

He asked me with a doubtful expression.

“Um. Sort of.”

“Do you know what ingredients are needed?”

“Um. I’ll look it up.”

As I kept receiving specific questions, I vaguely evaded them. Han Jae-yi smirked as if he had expected this. He said he would buy the ingredients himself and told me to make rice in the meantime. I had done that once or twice before, so it shouldn’t be a problem. We got up quickly after dividing our roles.

In fact, I don’t know how to make Army Base Stew. However, I had seen a video clip about it a few days ago, and they said that adding ramen soup makes everything tasty. So I planned to roughly follow the recipe and if it failed, I would add ramen soup. Having a Plan B is always important to me.

Han Jae-yi went out to buy ingredients, and I made rice. There was no measuring cup in his house, so I had to estimate the amount of water by eye. It felt very uncomfortable and uneasy. I thought I should buy some measuring tools for him in case this happens again.

“How is it?”

Han Jae-yi tasted a spoonful of the bubbling stew and made a puzzled expression at my question.

“It doesn’t taste bad, but it’s too familiar.”

I snatched the spoon from him and tasted it myself. It wasn’t bad, but a bit bland.

“Let’s add more soup.”

I had already been caught with my secret plan from the start. Han Jae-yi had seen through my plan as if it was obvious. He stopped me as I kept trying to add more soup and pushed me aside.

“Give me some soy sauce. It’s in the second compartment.”

Before I knew it, I was following his instructions. I was wearing the apron, but Han Jae-yi was doing all the cooking. Come to think of it, this was the first time we were cooking together. It was surprising that there was still a first time for something after spending so many years together. We had been going back and forth in the kitchen, focusing on adjusting the seasoning.

“I think it’s good now.”

He held out a spoon of broth to me with a satisfied expression. I carefully blew on it to cool it down and tasted it.

“Mm.”

It’s perfect. It was really delicious. He smiled brightly, pleased with my compliment. It was a clean smile without any trace of worry, something I hadn’t seen in a very long time. I liked that expression so much that I smiled along with him.

Time had already approached 8 o’clock. We hurriedly finished our late dinner. Han Jae-yi was eating so deliciously that I was a bit distracted watching him. Although there were no other side dishes, we didn’t feel like anything was lacking thanks to the homemade sausages we had sliced into the stew.

However, the kitchen had become a mess. I felt sorry about leaving it like this since it seemed to have been messed up because of me. I rolled up my sleeves and stood up, gathering the dishes we had used.

“Just leave it. I’ll clean up.”

“Let’s do it together. It’ll be quick that way. I’ll just help clean up and then go.”

I casually let him know that I didn’t intend to stay longer. I had already received two strokes of luck, so I didn’t want to push it. Han Jae-yi silently watched me as I stacked the dishes and cutlery and cleaned the table. I continued tidying up, pretending not to notice. But I was a bit curious about what he was thinking.

“What?”

He sighed.

“Just… I’m wondering what we’re doing.”

Well, from his perspective, it might seem absurd. At first, I said we should stop, then started contacting him again, and now we’re talking every other day. Plus, today we spent much longer together than planned. I liked all of that, but it seems he found it all difficult.

“Is it very uncomfortable being with me?”

I asked him calmly as I put the dishes into the dishwasher.

“It’s not that, it’s just… my heart is in pain.”

I see. That I can understand. If he doesn’t dislike being with me, it must be quite difficult to defend his heart while spending time together like this.

“Then stop being in pain and come back quickly.”

I added soap and pressed the button. This was already the second time today.

I turned around and checked on Han Jae-yi, who wasn’t responding. His gaze was fixed straight at me. His eyes were so serious that the long silence was becoming awkward. It was meant as a joke, but did he find it too burdensome?

“I’ve cleaned up roughly. You can take care of the rest.”

I broke the awkward atmosphere and left the kitchen. Then I gathered my clothes that had been wet from the rain. I picked up a paper bag that was lying around at the entrance and put them inside. Fortunately, the jacket and muffler were dry. As I was finishing getting ready to leave, Han Jae-yi came out.

“I’ll drive you.”

I blocked his way.

“The rain has stopped, so I’ll walk. It’s not that far.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? I just want to walk a bit. I’m going, get some rest.”

“I said I’ll drive you.”

“Yeah, thanks. But I really want to walk. I’m going.”

I saw a fleeting look of regret on his face. That was enough consolation. I hoped that this regret would grow larger by the next time we meet. I hoped it would pile up and erase the curse of fear that was blocking his vision. I closed the apartment door without looking back.

The rain had stopped, and it had gotten dark. I walked down the dark alley and thought about how good the day had been. I walked slowly because the alley was slippery due to the rain. I didn’t get lost because I knew exactly where I was going.