DI Ch 183

Suddenly, I had the illusion that his eyes had become clouded when we made eye contact. I thought it might be my imagination since he had been joking around until just now, but soon even his smile faded away, leaving me feeling somewhat mixed up. I’m indeed been through so much, from being stranded to all sorts of other troubles.

“You’re right. I wonder if I did something wrong.”

“You’re someone who deserves to enjoy only good things, and even that’s not enough. There’s no room for you to do anything wrong. Not at all.”

A shower of kisses rained down on my head. I had neither the strength to stop it, nor was he the type to stop if I did. As I let him be, he lowered his head to touch our noses together.

“Why do bad things keep happening to someone who’s busy growing up and busy being in love with me? They should come to me instead. Right?”

The way he gently rubbed our noses together, full of affection, was ticklish. I felt a pain in my chest and wanted to comfort him, so I tried to place my hand on his cheek. But as always, his actions were faster.

“You’re so young. They should all come to me instead.”

I wanted to tell him that I’m not a child and that I’ve grown up, but instead, I chose to hug him. Hugging was the most awkward and embarrassing form of skinship for me, so I didn’t even do free hugs. It was a bit surprising how this too became familiar with practice.

I wanted to see his face, but he didn’t seem to have any intention of letting go, so there was nothing I could do. I decided to be satisfied with just patting his back. The back of the man, who earnestly believed that everything I was going through was unfair.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. Just as I thought I might doze off in this warmth, he suddenly spoke.

“I’m sleepy.”

Startled, I thought I had spoken out loud.

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah. Let’s eat something simple and go to bed early.”

“Just the two of us?”

“Just the two of us.”

He was speaking in a dry voice saying he was sleepy until just now, and now he’s trying to seduce me with an incredibly sweet voice. Being sleepy must have been an excuse. I almost fell for it.

“Talk to your sibling tomorrow. Stay with me longer.”

He was indirectly expressing that he was lonely, but in the end, he was saying this because he wanted me to rest. It was obvious, yet surprisingly nice to hear. The one who seemed more childlike wasn’t me, but him. The way he pressed his lips against my bandaged skin was cute like he was whining and begging. So, pretending not to notice, I nodded slowly, wanting to go along with it.

“Okay. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Good decision.”

He said this as if praising me and then firmly pressing his lips against my eyelids.

“Then I’ll go tell him we’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll show him my face.”

“…”

“He must be worried. I should at least show him my face.”

He seemed displeased, but seeing him nod obediently, it didn’t look like he was going to stop me. It would have been troublesome if he had told me not to go, so that was fortunate. Well then, would they be in that room from earlier? Which room was it again? As I got up and headed to the hallway, my eyes suddenly went towards the garden. Someone was there. Tae Seong-je must have seen him too, as he spoke first.

“Does he think this is his house, taking a stroll like that?”

Seeing his sarcastic tone, it seemed to be my sibling. Tae Seong-je didn’t seem to like him much when he saw him earlier, so I guess it’s true. This isn’t like him though. Did my sibling do something wrong?

“He’s just like someone else I know, doing as he pleases while pretending to be considerate.”

“That’s not a compliment, you know.”

“It’s not an insult either.”

“…Anyway, I’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll go with you. It won’t take long.”

He clings to me affectionately as if he hadn’t just been grumpy. As much as I’d like to go together, it’s obvious that putting them in the same place would make both of them uncomfortable, and it would make me uncomfortable too. Besides, as he said, it won’t take long.

“I’ll be right back.”

“…”

“I’ll just talk to him and come right back to you, so wait just 1 minute, no, 5 minutes.”

“Just come back quickly.”

His hand on my shoulder slowly fell away with each step I took back. It’s only a few minutes, but his inability to bear it seems both cute and pitiful, as it doesn’t suit him.

“Come back quickly.”

“I’ll be back soon.”

He seemed so mature, yet at times like these, he appeared incredibly childlike, making me feel unexpectedly soft-hearted. While looking at him, I walked backward about four steps before turning around and approaching the pond.

Rather than admiring the lotus flowers, the guy was just standing still in front of the pond like a statue. Judging by the worry on his face, it seemed he had fought with the friend he had come with but hadn’t made up. He must have sensed my presence, but the fact that he wasn’t even looking this way showed how dejected he was.

How could I just say a word and leave in this atmosphere? Especially when he’s supposed to be my sibling. I quietly turned around and gestured to the person waiting for me. I signaled that it might take some time, so if he was going to wait, he should go inside.

I felt like he might be glaring at me for a moment. I said it would only take a moment, but I immediately changed my words, so I couldn’t complain even if he really did glare. But he probably understands and that’s why he’s not saying anything, right? I put my hands together above my head to show I was really sorry. He seemed to get the message as he finally left his spot where he had been standing like a statue.

And then, instead of speaking to the guy, I…

Chose to look at the lotus flowers with him. The leaves of the lotus flowers were large enough to cover the entire water surface. I knew they were originally large, but being more than twice that size made me feel like I was looking at something that defied nature. I felt a bit uneasy thinking that the flowers might grow as big as a human head.

“…”

“…”

With someone else, I could have casually made a pointless comment about how creepy the leaves were. I tried to shake off the awkwardness and slowly spoke.

“Are you okay?”

He was visibly startled when I suddenly spoke without even looking at him. It seemed he hadn’t realized it was me standing next to him.

“When, when did you get here?”

“Just now.”

“Ah.”

His voice trailed off, sounding a bit dazed. The guy awkwardly scratched his neck and fidgeted with his hands, unable to keep them still. Seeing him nervous oddly made me feel more relaxed. I stared at his hands for a moment before finally looking at his face. He seemed ordinary.

At first, I was so surprised, but he was more ordinary than I had expected, making me feel embarrassed for being so shocked.

“So, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. How about you? How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright.”

I swallowed the last words, not wanting to break the quiet night. The guy nodded as if he understood. Then, as if by agreement, we both fell silent. I watched the snow falling on the pond with him for a long time.

“Why.”

The guy cautiously spoke up. I waited for him to continue, but it took quite a while.

“Why didn’t you contact me?”

“I was just… busy…”

“Tell me honestly.”

“…”

I flinched at his words.

“Just be honest with me.”

His eyes, unable to hide the sadness, glistened with tears. They looked innocent. Had Tae Seong-je not seen those eyes? If he had, how could he say such things about me being childish? Lying would make me a bad brother.

I had nothing to say, but my lips moved on their own. I really had just been busy and forgot… But that was only for a moment. Just for a very brief moment, and then…

“I didn’t want to.”

“…”

His eyes welled up with tears, and before I knew it, big teardrops fell from them. I still wasn’t sure if this kid was really my brother, but I knew I had done something wrong.

“…I’m sorry.”

“You always do this.”

He spoke with a hint of resentment.

“Shouldn’t you have at least contacted me? You knew I’d be worried, but you didn’t because you didn’t want to? You should have at least contacted me! How can you only think about yourself? Even if you don’t remember…”

He told me to be honest and then got angry. It felt unfair, though I knew I deserved it. Still, I wasn’t in a position to say anything. The guy’s face, which had been seething, crumpled as his words trailed off. I wondered why, and soon he burst into tears.

“No, sob… It’s my fault… I’m sorry for overreacting, hyung…”

“Uh. Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Ah, I said I’m sorry!”

Is it some kind of special day today? Everyone’s crying. I was going to leave him alone, but since he was sobbing so hard, I awkwardly tried to comfort him. How old was he? If he was really my brother, he’d be a high school student.

“It’s okay. All kids your age overreact.”

“Sob… If that’s how you’re going to comfort me, don’t bother.”

Ah, he’s so funny. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was cold or because he was crying, but he had a runny nose and looked quite a sight.

“You look really ugly when you cry. I guess you must be my brother after all.”

“Damn. Stop it.”

“What?”

“Stop being so annoying!”

“Just stop crying. Hey, but why are you a guy?”

“…Sniff”

My condition must be pretty bad if I couldn’t even remember my brother’s face properly, but I do remember this much. My brother didn’t dislike not being a girl. What bothered him was people making a fuss about it. It didn’t seem like this change was something he chose.

But it was strange that he wasn’t shocked or confused about suddenly becoming a boy. From his perspective, his gender had suddenly changed, but he wasn’t freaking out or scared. I really couldn’t understand. As expected, trying to reason through something so abnormal wasn’t my strength.