DI Ch 171

Honestly, if it were anyone else saying such things, I would have ignored them and left immediately. But since it was him, I couldn’t easily avoid it. No, I don’t know why I become so weak only in front of him. It can’t be because of his face since I’m not even looking at him now, so why am I like this? Could he really be a devil? Is that why he’s so skilled at weakening people’s hearts and exploiting those gaps?

I scratched my skin impatiently. Saying I don’t have a high s3x drive doesn’t mean I have none at all. I had only recently left my parent’s house, and the newfound independence and freedom felt so unfamiliar that I buried myself in studying and exercising to the point where people asked what was keeping a freshman so busy. It was because it was my first time being largely free from my father’s control.

That sense of disconnection made me feel very strange. So, I intentionally kept myself busy. I didn’t give my brain any time to rest, and living like that, I even forgot about masturbation. It might sound unbelievable, but I had always held back even when I was at home. Actually, it was more accurate to say that the environment wasn’t conducive to it. In my father’s house, locking doors was generally discouraged, and since my mother and younger sister tended to avoid going out, I felt self-conscious.

Anyway, his temptation to someone like me…

“Why are you so tense? Don’t overthink it. It’s no big deal.”

“No, how can this not be a big deal?”

I couldn’t calm down because I wasn’t mentally prepared at all. I wish I had studied at least a few things. If asked what I should have studied, I wouldn’t know what to say, but still.

“I’ve been touching your d1ck  for years, how could it suddenly be a big deal?”

He said it hadn’t even been a year since we met, so what’s with the ‘years’? He was exaggerating because I didn’t remember anything. I grumbled internally and slowly lowered my gaze. It was still hard, even harder. It wasn’t like I was expecting anything.

I didn’t know if Tae Seong-je had actually helped me with his hands or not. So, of course, it was a big deal to me, and since we weren’t in a relationship now, it was right to refuse. But he kept saying it was nothing and that I shouldn’t feel pressured, which made my reason waver. His confidence made me even more curious. How could he be so sure of himself?

However, the idea of someone else, a man at that, touching my thing made me uncomfortable in many ways, so I couldn’t readily nod in agreement. As I was thinking we should stop after all…

“Seo Seung-won.”

“Yes?”

As I unconsciously met his eyes and answered, Tae Seong-je suddenly spoke.

“Would you like me to use my mouth instead of my hands?”

“No.”

This is crazy. I forgot my hesitation and answered immediately. When I refused with a straight face, he asked back as if surprised.

“No? Why?”

“I just don’t like it because I don’t. …Forget it. I don’t want to do it.”

Feeling burdened by his probing, I backed off completely, and he started stroking his chin with an expression of genuine incomprehension. Did he think I’d eagerly agree? How easy did he see me?

He seemed to think for a moment, then stretched out his hand and gently wrapped my ankle. I almost kicked him. It wasn’t just that, my face and that part were still hot, yet he touched me so casually again.

“What is it that you don’t like?”

But as he pressed my muscles with a pleasant pressure like the earlier massage… He only firmly massaged my soles and Achilles tendon without moving higher, which even made my sharp and sensitive mind slowly relax.

“Please don’t ask about such things…”

“Do you usually not like insertion?”

“What? What are you saying now?”

“If we’re being specific, there’s no hole to put it in other than my mouth, but you said you don’t like it. Do you hate insertion itself? Ah, is that why you never say you wanted to do it? No wonder. I thought it was strange that you, also a man, never say you wanted to do it.”

“No, come on.”

Just as I was thinking he was really good at massaging only the stiff spots, he irritated my nerves again. He had a serious face as if deep in thought, but what came out of his mouth was vulgar talk. He looked serious, but the words coming out of his mouth were vulgar. It was embarrassing and even made me angry, raising my voice roughly.

“We agreed not to make such jokes. Stop playing around. I just don’t feel like it, that’s all.”

It was funny to push away his hands after receiving everything, but I hid even my toes under the blanket and distanced myself again. He showed his palms as if to say he wouldn’t come closer. I tried to regain my composure, clearing my throat as I calmed down a bit. Rather than his suggestive mouth satisfying my curious desires, I just… didn’t want to see him burying his face between my legs. I didn’t know why, but it felt off-putting and somewhat unsettling.

It wasn’t cool. It was just not appealing. Imagining it even made me cool down a bit. It was still the same, and my excited feelings were still there, but somehow it didn’t seem like it would properly stand up. It was because my desire had diminished a bit. Then there was no reason to do it.

My thighs, which had been tense, were now throbbing. I rubbed them aimlessly while glancing at the TV mounted on the wall. Hotels like this wouldn’t show that kind of thing, would they? Erotic stuff… I wondered if seeing something like that would make me feel like doing it again, but I knew it would be a problem even if it did. Of course it would be – my partner is a man, so watching content with women would only sour the atmosphere. But watching content with only men didn’t seem right either. Why bother if I wasn’t sure I’d find it exciting?

As I zoned out, a gentle hand cupped my cheek. He often touched my face, so I assumed he was just doing it again. But this time he turned my head to face him. Looking at Tae Seong-je’s face, I was once again amazed. He’s truly attractive, beyond just being my type. He’s truly handsome.

“What’s the matter? Are you worried you won’t get excited when it comes down to it? Why are you stressing over that?”

He’d be perfect if he just talked less.

“No, that’s not it.”

“I’ll let you touch my chest.”

“…How do you even think of me? Do you think I’m some weirdo who gets excited by touching a man’s body?”

“You’re not?”

“Of course not! I’m not crazy enough to get excited…to touch a man’s…chest…”

I trailed off, conflicted. Wait. I like men, so I’m gay, right? So then getting excited touching a man shouldn’t be strange. But why am I denying it so strongly? My current lover is also a man. So, do I get excited touching men’s bodies? I don’t think so, but I’m not sure.

“Try touching it and then decide.”

Taking advantage of my confusion, he said with a smirk, adjusting his position. At the same time, the hem of his shirt, caught on his fingertips, lifted up.

“Go ahead.”

“….”

I was stunned into silence. Damn. It was incredible – he had a sculpted, muscular physique. I couldn’t help but be impressed. His broad shoulders made his muscular build look powerful yet sensual rather than brutish. Maybe it was because of his large chest? Or perhaps his comparatively slim waist created that illusion.

“Can I touch?”

“Yeah.”

I wondered if you had to be born with the potential to develop such an impressive chest, and if I could ever build up to that level.

“Hyung, what kind of workout do you do?”

“You didn’t forget what we’re doing, right? Hyung let you touch it to turn you on, and you’re just admiring it.”

“R-right.”

When I gave a dumbfounded answer to his relaxed question I heard a chuckle above my head. I had genuinely forgotten for a moment, and looked up in embarrassment.

Tae Seong-je was holding the end of his shirt in his mouth. Seeing his red tongue and even teeth, my curiosity that had momentarily beaten my reason and desire crumbled. His lips curved upward as he held the shirt in his mouth, making me quickly avert my gaze. The suggestiveness made my whole body heat up.

I felt like my nose might bleed, so I hurriedly covered my mouth and the underside of my nose with my arm. Even the tautly stretched fabric from his mouth looked suggestive. The body exposed underneath was seen again in a sexual connotation. Another person’s naked body. While I was at a loss with the sudden sense of reality, my left hand was grabbed.

“…!”

I let out a startled sound, feeling teased. Tae Seong-je had begun to sensually move my left hand across his chest. The feel of his nipples and chest rolling under my palm was driving me crazy. I couldn’t believe there would come a day when I’d be forced to knead someone else’s chest! It was shocking, yet… I was mesmerized, clutching his chest. The feeling was even more impressive than I’d initially thought. The feel of it. Wow.

“Hyung, wait, no.”

The way his chest moved, how firm it was that even the shape and shadow of my grasp looked sensual, making me feel like I was going to die. I trembled, breathing erratically. It’s too erotic. Oh, this guy is way too erotic. I wondered if I could even get excited, but now I was overly excited. I couldn’t tell if I was the one being teased or the one doing the teasing. My mind was in a haze.  So, clutching his chest wasn’t entirely my pure intention.

“Mmm.”

He let out a hum while scratching his chest. Even the slight frowning expression as if he was holding back something and the wrinkles between his eyebrows were so sexy that I didn’t know where to look.

“Do you like it?”

He laughed as I stood there dazed. The softness in his muffled words made me feel overwhelmed. I replied in a shy, barely audible voice.

“Yes…”

“Yeah. I thought you might like it.”

“Don’t tell me I did something to make you say that.”