DI Ch 122

“…”

Unlike the bright smiling face, the sarcastic tone was so unfamiliar that I wondered if I had heard it the wrong way, but my ears were not blocked at the moment. My mood sank instantly. As if my head wasn’t already throbbing enough, why is this happening again? Feeling the fatigue intensifying, I suppressed the urge to rub my stiff neck as I endured.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t contact you, but just call him Sunbae. I understand even if you don’t say that.”

It was always at times like these that the protagonist coincidentally overheard conversations as they passed by. Just in case, I looked around for Woo Ji-min. Fortunately, Woo Ji-min wasn’t in sight, but instead, I saw Kim Young-ji. She was about to greet me, but just as Kim Young-ji’s gaze seemed to have landed on the back of the student representative’s head, she immediately turned around and returned the way she had come. What.

At that time, the voice of a liberal arts professor suddenly came out from behind me.

“Uh-huh. You’re blocking the door.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Professor.”

I bowed my head towards the professor who smiled generously and entered the classroom. I glanced back, just in case, but there was no sign of him. I didn’t say this expecting an answer, but it troubled me that we parted ways without saying anything. Could it be that Woo Ji-min has been the subject of strange rumors again? No. It could be about me.

The lecture began, but my mind was elsewhere, making it impossible to concentrate. I seemed to be half-heartedly taking notes, and it seemed like my grades for this semester might be passable.

I couldn’t properly resolve my complicated feelings until the way home. How could I make plans in this state? It felt like it would take a long time to sort things out.

As I opened the gate and walked up casually, I saw Tae Seong-je wearing comfortable clothes beyond the perfect garden. Leaning against the wall with a blank expression, he was staring at me silently. I didn’t mind that he didn’t smile because he regularly looked at me in a similar way rather than smiling.

Rather, seeing someone welcome me caused the emotions I had been suppressing to almost burst. Kang Moo-hyun, fuck, why do you always say the right things? Thanks to you, I hated it even more. I feel so sorry to Woo Ji-min. He probably thinks of me as the only person who approached him without any ulterior motive.

Heat rose in the corners of my eyes. but I couldn’t say so, which made me angry because it was unfair. I didn’t know if I was angry with him or not. There was no answer to this other than being comforted in his arms.

“You’re here?”

Tae Seong-je gave me a warm smile as I was about to fall into his arms. My steps came to a halt involuntarily at his meaningful smile. Even though I had returned like any other day, his expression today was different. The eyes that were rounder than usual and the well-shaped cheeks were particularly noticeable.

…Have I done something wrong again?

I tried my best to reflect on what mistakes I made today. There was none. Of course not. I vowed that my conscience had been as clean as a repentant believer’s since that day. No, but I just got back from school. What could I have done to set such a scary atmosphere in the meantime? This is a bit too much.

“So. Who are you piggybacking on?”

I tried to clarify again, but it was obviously my fault no matter how you looked at it.

“I can explain everything.”

Rather than asking how he knew, it was more important to prevent this misunderstanding from escalating. Oh, there wasn’t even a CCTV guy around.

“What is it?”

“My leg was hurting. It was difficult to walk, so I just asked for a piggyback.”

“What?”

I honestly admitted it without hiding, but he frowned fiercely. I didn’t intend to make a big deal out of it in the first place, so I tried to dismiss it, but he reacted as if I’d said something different.

“Why didn’t you contact me? I told you to call me right away if you are in pain.”

Honestly, I’m getting scolded… It was my fault for not saying it earlier, but still. He came close and wrapped his arms around my waist. His strong arms felt reassuring as he held me up.

“Are you okay now?”

“Just a little sore, nothing major.”

“Let’s get you checked before dinner.”

“Oh, hyung. There’s something I need to tell you before that.”

As he turned to go inside, he looked at me again and asked.

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Let’s do it after dinner.”

I was about to say I’d eat later, but then I realized how dare I say I didn’t want to eat in front of him, so I closed my mouth. It had only been a short while since I got scolded so harshly, and I almost made another mistake.

“I want to talk now, please.”

“Is it important?”

“It’s a matter of life and death. I’ll explain while we eat.”

Eventually, Tae Seong-je raised both hands due to my stubbornness. I didn’t want to waste time waiting for the doctor to arrive, so I went to the study and brought out a large whiteboard. As we stood in the living room, he mumbled with his arms crossed.

“… I guess you’ve got a lot to say.”

I nodded half-heartedly and picked up the pen.

“Yes. We might stay up all night tonight.”

“It seems urgent, but this takes priority.”

He firmly grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I saw the doctor was standing there awkwardly, not knowing when he came up. We exchanged awkward greetings and sat down facing each other.

Under Tae Seong-je’s supervision, I roughly explained how my leg was hurting, but obviously, finding the cause just from these nonsensical symptoms was impossible.

The doctor’s expression darkened in real-time. I understood his frustration; he probably only had advice about managing stress to offer today.

“…”

“Should I check your temperature and blood pressure now?”

“Huh? Oh, yes. Yes.”

We hurriedly moved, sensing the piercing gaze of the person staring at us intently. 35.7 degrees Celsius, a bit low but still within the normal range. Blood pressure normal, heart rate normal. It was obvious that everything would be normal no matter what he did, but since there were eyes watching, he ended up drawing blood meaninglessly.

He also conducted a new test, and it started to become tedious. Despite my efforts not to show any signs of boredom, my concentration gradually waned. Before I knew it, my eyes were glued to the whiteboard and couldn’t tear away. While I tried to distract myself by mentally simulating a presentation, the check-up was over.

After leaving the two people talking, I stood in front of the whiteboard again and picked up a pen.

“What are you writing?”

“Wait a moment.”

“Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Just a moment, hyung, let me finish this…”

I roughly reached out my hand and patted his chest to tell him to leave me alone.

When I came to my senses, there were more black letters than the white background of the whiteboard. If I did this, it would be less noticeable. As I repeated erasing and rewriting for effective communication, a spoon approached my mouth.

I was so preoccupied that I didn’t feel embarrassed, I quietly accepted the food handed to me and ate it. Normally, I would have been shocked and asked what he was doing when I had my own hands, but I didn’t have the will to do so so I just chewed mechanically.

I took out my laptop from my bag and placed it on the living room table. Then, I meticulously transferred the contents I had organized in my mind onto the screen. Without noticing it was getting darker, I hastily wrote up my presentation speech, my eyes, hands, and mouth working rapidly.

When I thought that quite some time had passed… What time is it now? I came to my senses and raised my head. I saw Tae Seong-je sitting on the sofa and waiting quietly. He wasn’t doing anything, just silently observing.

“Are you done now?”

I hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding my head. Waiting was always my job, but now that the roles were reversed, it felt awkward and unfamiliar. In the midst of hesitation, I quickly regained my composure at the familiar sound of the dishwasher indicating that it was over.

“Ah yes. It’s all over.”

“So, what was that about? Why so serious?”

I turned my head away from him as he sat there silently watching, unaware of anything. I stared at the whiteboard with mixed feelings. Well, it’s about ruining my life, isn’t it? The cause of my suffering, the one who made me hear insane things like ‘psychotic bastard’ from Kang Moo-hyun’s mouth…

I clenched my fists because I couldn’t contain the anger that was building up inside of me. This is driving me crazy. My expression creased as I stared at the three letters of Kang Moo-hyun’s name written boldly on the whiteboard. Then, realizing it was not the right time, I released the pent-up frustration along with my clenched fists.

Regaining my composure and easing the tension in my stiff face, I turned back to Tae Seong-je.

“Hyung.”

I had been avoiding it, but now it was time to have the conversation.

“Sometimes, I act weird, you know, right?”

“…”

“I tried to hide it, but that doesn’t mean it’s hidden just because I hid it… I actually know. I just couldn’t say it, but I feel like it’s time to speak up now.”

“…You.”

His face hardened as if in shock. Then he nodded his head seriously and spoke up.

“Even you don’t think your way of thinking is normal. Well. It’s fortunate that you realize it now.”

“What? No, what are you talking about? I’m not joking.”

“…”

After a brief moment of silence, Tae Seong-je cautiously asked.

“So, do you really know?”

Know what? I think I know how this person usually sees me. Even though I sensed that he thought I wasn’t in my right mind… It wasn’t incomprehensible given the circumstances, therefore it wasn’t worth denying. He got up from his seat and wrapped his hands around my cheeks. Even so, it’s not like my energy suddenly surged back; I just felt demotivated as I let my head fall into his hands.

“I was told that if you know how to reflect and not deny yourself, you are half way through the process.”

I’m not crazy. I should point out how the conversation has gone off track, but my motivation has died.