DI Ch 26

I eagerly caressed Tae Seong-je’s hand,  hoping that it would make him feel good.  The fingers in my mouth were long, and the bones seemed to be more beautiful than I had thought. I didn’t know when I looked at it, but I knew it when I put it in my mouth…

“Ah. Hyung, clothes…”

Saliva flowed out of my mouth when I opened it. I was embarrassed that I drooled despite the fact that I wasn’t even a baby, so I quickly covered my mouth with my forearm. Ah, he’s going to tease me again.  However, Tae Seong-je did not tease or laugh at me when he saw me salivating uneasily but instead licked my lips as if he was hungry.

For some reason, the room felt hotter, so I spoke up.

“Clothes… Aren’t you uncomfortable in them?”

When I moved away from Tae Seong-je, he appeared uncomfortable in his shirt. Tae Seong-je raised his eyebrows and responded softly to my words.

“I have a lot of scars.”

“Ah.”

“That’s why.”

“…? Having a lot of scars makes clothes less uncomfortable?”

When I asked back because I didn’t understand, Tae Seong-je gave me a look like he was looking at the dumbest person in the world.

“No. I’m afraid you’ll get scared.”

“Ah… Oh, it’s okay, I’ve seen your hands.”

His rough hands were covered with all sorts of wounds and scars, and even the palms of his hands were the same. It must be painful. Tae Seong-je raised one eyebrow as I unconsciously kissed the deep wound. Oh, he must felt good when I kissed his hand.

He didn’t take it off because he was afraid the scars would scare me? Even if I was younger than him, I was still an adult. Isn’t Tae Seong-je not taking off his clothes because of the tattoo on his back? I wouldn’t have to look at his back anyway. Is he using the scar as an excuse to go through the hassle?

“You don’t have to.”

I unbuttoned his shirt with my hand, but he didn’t stop me. I can tell he’s uncomfortable. However, Tae Seong-je’s body, which gradually unravels, is full of shockingly terrible cuts and burn marks, which surprised me. It was because there were so many cruel wounds that I couldn’t say anything.

“Seong-je hyung. Who did this, and why…

No. Shut up.

I scolded myself loudly as I felt the urge to pity his past. Tae Seong-je was naturally a man who found pity ridiculous and abhorred it, so I had no time for pity right now. Even so, his life was pitiful, and felt tears in my eyes. I can’t stop feeling sorry.

A man who could have lived in the highest place lost his guardian at a young age due to heinous greed and has since been living in a violent environment. Although I dare not say we are the same, I found myself sympathizing with Tae Seong-je in that I had to work hard to be seen by my father, that I was subjected to violence, and that I couldn’t run away even if I wanted to be free.

It made me cry to realize that the person I thought was the total opposite of me wasn’t all that different. I felt like I was in too deep. I don’t belong here, I’m not like him… and yet I felt sympathy for him.

Years from now, he’ll be aware of his past, and he’ll throw ridicule rather than hate. He will make the mistake of seeking revenge for nothing, ultimately losing everything he has worked for. That was Tae Seong-je’s ending. Only then will I be able to return home, which is also what I wanted. So I should have stopped thinking about it.

“That’s because there are a lot of people who hate me.”

After an incomprehensible silence, Tae Seong-je spoke lightly as if joking. To hide my agitated mind, I first held Tae Seong-je’s hand tightly and kissed him by rubbing my lips together. Tae Seong-je’s hand, which had entered my clothes, swept up my side and touched my chest. Even if I held it like that, there was nothing to hold, and since it was the first time someone had touched me like that, Tae Seong-je’s touch felt quite awkward.

Tae Seong-je gently stroked my inner thigh with his palm after his fingertips touched my thigh. I felt a shiver run down my spine. The touch of tender skin that others could not easily touch caused blood to rush to the area. Tae Seong-je gently massaged my thighs, as if he were giving me a massage to relieve tension in my thighs.

My heart thumped anxiously in my chest like I was about to do something bad. I let out a hot breath, filled with fear and an unknown excitement that we were actually going to have sex now. I tried not to read too much into the fact that it was my first time in so many ways, but I already felt this moment was special. His hand on mine was so hot it felt like it was burning my throat.

It wasn’t even a cheap bed, but it squeaked whenever Tae Seong-je moved. It looked like the springs would all be broken because two grown men were on the same bed. Creak. No matter how well the soundproofing is, you can still hear it because it is a studio. Someone lived next door. As I kept flinching because I was nervous, the quick-witted Tae Seong-je immediately noticed and frowned.

“What is it.”

I was embarrassed that I hadn’t been paying attention, so I tried to cover it up with a laugh, but it was awkward.

“The sound keeps coming…”

“Sound? Are you in the mood to care about that? This won’t work.”

The snapping sound was rather pleasant. Tae Seong-je suddenly loosened his belt and said.

“You have to stop worrying about it so you can focus.”

Uh, that’s not what I meant.

My face stiffened. I knew he was going to take his pants off, but seeing him do it in front of me was embarrassing. I tried to take my gaze away from Tae Seong-je, who was stripping in front of me like an actor in a racy striptease show, but I caught a glimpse of his perfect body and secretly swallowed my saliva.

Standing under the fluorescent lights, his body was clearly visible, slightly covered up by a black shirt, but it was the body I wished to have and become. I knew he was covered in scars. However, this was the ideal body I had hoped for; far from being ugly, it just looked sexy.

I’ve never been teased because of my size, but Seo Seung-won and I were both ordinary college students after all. I’m not sure if it was because it was well-maintained or because I had a lot on my plate, but I couldn’t compare Tae Seong-je, who was naturally strong, on the same line. Thick and strong thighs, rather than flabby ones, were just… amazing.

While I couldn’t take my eyes off of him easily, Tae Seong-je took off his underwear.  His erect penis popped out of his underwear and twitched. I quickly averted my gaze from him. To be honest, if I were a third person, I would have admired or envied his penis. But knowing that it had to go inside of me, I really felt like dying.

“I have seen a woman’s body, and now I’m even seeing a man’s body.”

It was a faint murmur, but not so faint that I couldn’t hear it, so I stared at him in disbelief before quickly closing my eyes. Tae Seong-je was rubbing his penis with his hands. It was the hand I had licked and moistened. My hair seemed to be stood up. Tae Seong-je looked at me and mast*rbated. With his gaze fixed on my secret place, he rubbed his thick, long penis up and down.

I was worried about my widely spread legs, and I quietly pulled my thighs together. Then, Tae Seong-je came closer and grabbed my ankle, and pulled me toward him. I slipped on the bed and lay flat. As I struggled to get up, Tae Seong-je settled down between my legs first.

Squelch, squelch, squelch. I blushed at the sound of the rubbing a little faster, and he only managed his erratic breathing. It was quiet outside, and the only sounds in the house were Tae-Seong-je’s stifled breathing and his wet hand stroking his penis, which looked so bloodied and hideous that it scared me to tears.

“Your ass looks so fucking hot too. I wondered what it would be like if it cooled off after looking at the bottom hole, but I guess it was a useless worry.”

I’m embarrassed, really embarrassed, and I don’t want to hear it, but every vulgar word makes my stomach clench. The nape of my neck must have flushed. No, maybe my whole body was already turned red. I wanted to cover my ears. He kept saying lewd things about how pretty I was down there, how I looked, and other things I’d never heard before.

It’s not something I would ever say or share with my friends. Even if I did, I would say that a girl was pretty and I wanted to have a girlfriend like that. It was a story that Tae Seong-je would laugh at while listening to it. No matter how friendly he is, I keep forgetting that he was originally this kind of person. I kept getting fooled. I knew it, but I forgot it, over and over again. I will need at least ten more years to overcome Tae Seong-je.

He lifted my right leg and held it tightly around my ankle, then wrapped my other leg around his waist, all the while thrusting his penis between my legs, which was beyond the level of being bold. A hard object touched a place that was sensitive to the touch.

Feeling nervous, I tightly wrapped my leg around Tae Seong-je’s waist. Still, he didn’t budge. When Tae Seong-je settled down and tried to insert it, I quickly grabbed the condom that had been placed on the table and hurriedly handed it to him.

He looked at my hand, smirked, and took the condom from me. I was glad he seemed amused, but I couldn’t figure out what was so funny. I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing, my eyes widening as I realized it was the first time I’d ever done it, and then shuddered in contemplation as his penis touched me. His hard tip slowly circled around the throbbing h*le, spreading the pre-cum liquid.

My body began to feel hotter than usual. It was cold, then hot, then cold again; it seemed like I was going to catch a cold. My fingertips trembled when I realized that I was going to do it now. When Tae Seong-je pushed it into the hole, the sound of ‘Oh, f*ck wait a minute’ came out.