DI Ch 121

“Do you think he’s yours because he’s been especially nice to you? If that’s the case, you’re full of yourself.”

“…”

I wasn’t sure I could beat someone with a unique way of thinking with words, so I’d have to respond with silence. I shouldn’t live like that. However, I couldn’t help but respond to his following comments.

“Are you doing this because you think it will be fun?”

“Fun?”

“I don’t know where you get your fun from, but is it just because you think it’s fun to play with people? Or…”

His sarcasm abruptly stopped. The tone that followed was filled with anger.

“Are you trying to get on my nerves?”

“…”

“Pretending to live together for some benefit… Do you do things like that?”

Whether he suffered emotionally or not, his discomfort was palpable. But what about the lie? Didn’t he notice it that day? Did he misunderstand something? I don’t know what happened exactly. Well, he wasn’t just a brat from a rich family, but he was the chairman’s grandson, so he probably had to do some background checks. It was understandable, considering that my apartment is registered under my name.

Even if he didn’t know the details, it seemed like he was suspicious that I used Woo Ji-min because of him. I didn’t expect that it could look like that, or even this situation itself. I have to laugh at myself for once thinking about seeing the ending. I couldn’t believe I was finally realizing something in the past that I didn’t even know I had twisted.

But that was one thing, and not knowing was another.

“Sunbae. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Isn’t pretending not to know too much? How much more fun do you want to have?”

“… What?”

The giant silhouette turned around carefully. I feel unnecessarily intimidated while lying down. I raise my upper body and lean my back against the head of the bed. Meanwhile, Kang Moo-hyun approached one step at a time and sat down nearby. I felt the bed tilt and raised my head. His expression, seen in the familiar darkness, was not only cold but hostile.

“Can you ease up a bit? Ji-min might seem tough on the outside, but he’s actually quite sensitive. I’m worried that if he finds out now, he’ll be deeply disappointed.”

Was I such a clueless person? I couldn’t understand this kind of threat. Even though Kang Moo-hyun acted as if he had caught my weakness, I had no clue. As to how he interpreted my confusion, he changed his attitude and spoke directly.

“I don’t like that about you. Putting on an innocent face in front but then…”

I felt like I knew what the next words were going to be. But wasn’t this about himself? It’s not that he’s homophobic, and I don’t understand why he’s projecting his own tendencies onto me. I truly wasn’t at fault. Except for trying to intervene between the two.

“You approached intentionally.”

His words hit me like a slap on the cheek.

“Don’t be surprised. You were the one who acted like you’ve had your eye on Ji-min and me… since the first time we met.”

I had to admit that my mistake was observing Woo Ji-min. I shouldn’t have done it in Kang Moo-hyun’s presence. I couldn’t deny it. With the upper hand, he crossed his legs and taunted me leisurely.

“We first met in our class, right? I don’t know exactly when, but your approach seemed fine. You must have done some decent research. Gathering information about me must have been quite challenging.”

“…”

“I don’t know how you got that kind of support.”

I froze and couldn’t say anything, then gritted my teeth. Damn, Kang Moo-hyun knows Tae Seong-je.

“I think you went too far with the background check about your junior.”

“I thought the same at first. If you were just a pathetic nobody with nothing to hide, it would have stayed that way. I pity you too.”

“…”

“You psychotic bastard.”

He said it in the same tone as when he called me. Even though the feeling in my legs was fading, I could feel my toes becoming cold. I guess that’s how I looked in Kang Moo-hyun’s eyes. A crazy bastard who was obsessed with someone he loved.

“If you’re going to go crazy, go crazy in a good way.”

His whispered mockery made my hands clench into fists. My insides burned like I’d been exposed, and my hands trembled.

“Know your limits. Even without you, he’s got enough on his plate.”

I wanted to argue with him that the same was true for him. However, when the door to the health room opened and I heard Woo Ji-min’s voice, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“Just act like nothing happened, and I won’t say anything either. So, just quietly leave.”

Was that a suggestion for me to take a leave of absence? Opting for eternal silence over the hurtful truth.

“Seung-won.”

It wasn’t just a casual visit; the rustle of a bag could be heard in Woo Ji-min’s hand.

“I brought lunch. You can eat it here. Hey, since you have nothing to do with this, just leave.”

I think the reason Woo Ji-min couldn’t completely indifferent toward Kang Moo-hyun while acting so coldly was probably because of loneliness. Loneliness can be felt even on the muddy ground that has become soggy from the rain, and it can also be felt in the dry, cracked ground.

And just like flowers blooming when the sun rises, and flowers wilting when the sun sets. If we were to talk about the loneliness that naturally comes and goes, it would be endless. Loneliness was such a powerful emotion that I couldn’t overcome it on my own even if I wanted to.

And I know another emotion just as strong. It was a feeling of betrayal. If Woo Ji-min were to find out that I initially approached with ulterior motives, he would be horrified. I didn’t want him to resent me, a person and a senior whom I had grown to admire.

“Sunbae, I…”

I bit my dry lips and lowered my head. I couldn’t bear to look at him in the eyes. Maybe this person will forgive me. But even that forgiveness might be born out of loneliness. People hate others based on circumstances and justification. There were no baseless emotions.

“Thank you. But I think I’ll take a nap first and eat later. I’m not feeling too well right now.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“Yeah, kinda. Well, then… Sunbae, please enjoy your lunch first.”

Even when I heard it, it felt like an empty excuse. Nevertheless, I mumbled in a businesslike tone.

“Thank you both. I’ll buy you something delicious next time.”

The flow of conversation became strange, but I couldn’t help it. I was already in a position with both hands raised under the cold edge of a tongue. The tongue was the weapon of truth, and here I was in the midst of a battle where I could either give up one piece and win or give up everything and lose. I didn’t want to learn the lesson that one shouldn’t deceive people to live.

I covered my head with the blanket, leaving behind Woo Ji-min, who bid me farewell with a worried expression, and Kang Moo-hyun, who smirked behind him. I was angry. I shouldn’t have started a fight so recklessly. This wasn’t a problem I could handle on my own. I needed an accomplice.

Naturally, Tae Seong-je came to mind first, but it bothered me that Kang Moo-hyun found out about him. They were relatives. If Tae Seong-je was known to Kang Moo-hyun, he would find out about his family history. Then it would sound even crazier if I talked about novels, possessions, and such.

The problem was also that my credibility had hit rock bottom. The key was not how to convey my sincerity, but how to phrase my words well. Let’s rest for now and attend the class. Calm down and arrange my thoughts while in class.

Then, go home, have dinner together, get checked, and make plans to prepare a PowerPoint or anything based on the plan. A visual approach would be more appealing and make it easier to understand this ridiculous situation. However, I was concerned that the story I remembered was imperfect and would not be convincing enough. That’s because there was no script and the plot was devised as I progressed.

I had spent a year trying to fit into the conditions of a supporting role, diligently depicting appropriate actions, only thinking about my life as a supporting character for this world. Just to go back home. There was nothing more and nothing less. I lived focused solely on that. That’s all.

As I thought about this, Kang Moo-hyun’s words came to mind again. Psychotic bastard. Those words stung, but it was okay. However, if Tae Seong-je were to say it, it would probably have a bigger impact. The same goes for Woo Ji-min. A little bit of Park Kang-woo or Kwon Jung-hyuk? Perhaps even Lee Hyun-wook. He was a bit hesitant, though.

Seo Seung-won’s parents… A bit much. Seo Seung-joon too, maybe? I was not sure what the change was, but it appeared to be notable. It was difficult for me to find a reason. It bothered me that despite not knowing anything, the people who considered me family were turning away from me.

I don’t know. Have I already grown attached to them? I wished it hadn’t happened, but unlike when I used to dream based on my original memories, now that I had become Seo Seungwon and was dreaming about them, various feelings of affection arose within me. It wasn’t a good sign.

My legs must have felt better after I ate the lunch Woo Ji-min had prepared for me. I was about to go to the lecture when my legs stopped right in front of the lecture hall.

“… Won. Seung-won!”

“Oh. Hi.”

Maybe because I had become Seo Seung-won in my dream. Even when called unexpectedly, my head reflexively turned. It was the student representative. I was momentarily startled by the gazes of the people in the hallway. I thought I had answered loudly, but that wasn’t the case. It seemed like the student rep had really called me very loudly.

“I called you earlier, but I guess you really didn’t hear me. Again. I thought you were ignoring me.”

“Huh?”

“But Seung-won. Why don’t you look at my KakaoTalk?”

The student representative asked with a wide smile. Even though I was caught off guard, I couldn’t bring myself to say let’s talk later. Perhaps because it was a topic I didn’t want to explain, even if it was trivial.

“Oh. I don’t check my phone often.”

“Don’t check? But why do you always reply promptly to the pretty senior?”