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    The weather was nice in early April. The weather was perfect for the cherry blossoms to be in full bloom the following week. A huge cherry tree stood in the back corner of the library. I’d never seen it before, but I knew it was beautiful in the spring and that there were a lot of cats. I decided it would be a good idea to photograph them and send them to Tae Seong-je. I’m not a big fan of animal photos, but they were cute and made me smile.

    In fact, this place was Woo Ji-min’s place. It was all thanks to Woo Ji-min that the cats came around. I’ve been feeding them since 1st grade, and one or two cats came and settled down. Kang Moo-hyun happened to see Woo Ji-min buried in a cat and fell in love with him, and from then on he began snooping around him. Anyway, I’m sorry that I invaded their own place again, but I couldn’t help it for my smooth future.

    “Hey, Nabi. Meow.”

    “Meow.”

    “Yeah, good boy. Come here.”

    I placed one of the more docile cats on my lap, and the kitten, unafraid of human hands, dug its claws into my clothes and began clawing at my chest. I managed to get a photo of the cat, and the kitten came out well, so I decided to send it in.

    1 [16:35] (Photo)

    1 [16:36] The cat is cute. It’s a stray cat, but it’s very friendly.

    I deleted this because I felt like a kid in school. Nothing about a college student would be complete without mentioning school. I sighed and was playing with the cats for a while, but then 1 disappeared.

    I have an appointment. Going for a drink [16:50]

    I’m envious of him being able to drink from early in the morning again. Tae Seong-je seemed to have a lot of drinking appointments. It didn’t appear to be a casual atmosphere like a drinking party with a classmate, but my mouth dried up because I was addicted to my body, which became normal when I drank.

    As we exchanged meaningless words, the conversation came to an end with a gift card. No, two. When I looked at it, I realized it was a restaurant gift card. I hadn’t seen it before, so I searched for it, and it was a restaurant near my house.

    [17:15] ?? What is this? 

    Seeing what you’re talking about, I don’t think you’re going to eat dinner [17:16]

    [17:16] Ah.. it’s okay…

    [17:16] Thank you. I’ll eat well then haha

    He’s more delicate and affectionate than I thought, but I’m not sure if he’s truly interested in me. People frequently say that giving food is a sign of affection, but because the other person is Tae Seong-je, it was difficult to draw that conclusion. I rubbed the back of my sore neck.

    Ah, when I think about Tae Seong-je, my head gets complicated. I needed something to focus on. I went to the library and sat down at a random desk near the bookshelves, not in the reading room, and unpacked. I put on my glasses, sharpener, and highlighter, and took out my dirty notebook and problem book.

    Tae Seong-je had left a gift card, but I skipped dinner tonight and went to the library cafe to fill it with coffee. A French textbook caught my eye as I was about to return to my seat. I took out the book and looked through it, but even if I read and studied it, it seemed difficult to get to the point where communication was possible in a short period of time. However, it was possible for Tae Seong-je.

    It really doesn’t suit him, but Tae Seong-jae was a person who studied diligently. In particular, he did not neglect to study foreign languages. He said he was studying French now.

    When I asked him why he was learning, he said it was because the person he would be entertaining soon was from French. I wondered if he was dealing with some kind of French gangster, but not everyone he meets was a gangster, so it had to be someone related. My thoughts wandered.

    When I asked if it was possible to learn in a short period of time because I wanted to be considered learning, the firm response was that learning is good for getting points. I kept seeing him in this new light, knowing what a strange person he was. From a bully to a free and charming person, from a jerk to an intelligent person.

    The more he talked, the more humane and genuine he seemed, and the farther away he really was from a knave. Still, I thought there would be a strong corner like in part 2. If Chairman Hyun-seong had not killed his sister and Tae Seong-je’s parents to secure management rights, what kind of life would he have lived?

    1 [19:56] You are too busy. Give me some of your time.

    I sent the sentence in the book as it was impulsively. While I was wondering if he understood, Tae Seong-je read the message and the reply came quickly.

    Kid. I’ll see you tonight. [19:58]

    “He seems to really understand.”

    Someone once said that talent and personality were separate, but Tae Seong-je was amazing in many ways. I was curious and looked at it for a while, then I pulled out some French textbooks and returned to my seat. Instead of using the translator, I decided to give it a shot and manually translated his message so that I could learn it as well. My studying was already behind. I searched for the word and came across it, which surprised me, so I grabbed my phone and sent a message.

    1 [20:24] Hyung, are you coming today? What time?? Do you have time at night???

    Did you translate it just now? [20:30]

    [20:30] French is so hard…

    [20:30] I tried it while reading the book, but it’s very difficult.

    I kept looking at the KakaoTalk chat room, and 1 disappeared instantly, but there was no response. I tilted my head. What? Are you ignoring me? I tapped the floor with the tip of my toe and waited with my chin resting on my hand for a long time, but no response came.

    I turned on my laptop to listen to the lecture, and when I found myself typing French into the search bar, I bit my hand. Learn where it helps. But if you have a French license… … . Wouldn’t it be helpful for Seo Seung-won? No, let’s not waste time on useless things. I put the pen that was distractingly on the desk. These days, it was so bland that it was difficult.

    “Haa… I want to drink.”

    It was an impulsive thought, but there was nothing like alcohol to quickly calm the racing mind that was causing my body to ache. I pressed my dry palms against the tired corners of my eyes. The empty library was quiet, and the spring breeze blew in through the slightly open window and swept my hair. My thoughts began to wander at that point.  So I sent a message without thinking.

    1 [20:46] Hyung.

    1 [20:46] Do you want to have a drink at my place?

    For some reason, the number 1 quickly disappeared, and then replies came one after the other.

    Are you flirting with me now? Lol [20:46]

    I’d love to [20:46]

    I frowned and reread his message, but it still made no sense to me. It clicked when I switched the conversation to a man and a woman. What I said appeared to be an obvious flirtation. No, I wasn’t. No, I mean, sure, it’s easier to get laid when you’re drunk, but I didn’t mean it that way, because I tell my friends the same thing. I just…

    The air suddenly felt hot. It was even more embarrassing to realize that the person who had sent me the message in such a direct manner was actually laughing at me. I thought about flirting, but if I did, I wanted to do it maturely, not like this.

    I don’t know why I act like such an idiot when dealing with Tae Seong-je, even though I’m not the type to be lazy or make mistakes.

    I’m in the countryside right now, so I think it’ll be a little past 11 o’clock when I arrive. [20:55]

    [20:55] Yes. Please come. I’ll wait.

    I immediately packed my bag after confirming the time. The quiet library was filled with the sound of rough footsteps. A few students squinted as if they were troubled by the noise, but I couldn’t be bothered. The big day had arrived. Tae Seong-je was not going to come to see how my room looked. What he’ll want to see is my body.

    Of course, I’ll be laid down. I was feel down when I rationally accepted the situation. I really needed a drink. Tae Seong-je was older, had a better physique, and had more experience. In fact, even if the opposite situation had occurred, I would not have been able to lay him down because I wouldn’t be able to get an erection and put it in.

    It was creepy leaving the library late at night on a less crowded street. But it wasn’t the darkness that mattered more. I had meticulously studied the basic gay sex theory and finished summarizing the points two weeks ago because I didn’t know when or where I would have a relationship with Tae Seong-je.

    It wasn’t until after I did some research that I realized that sex between men and women was on a different level.  When I was still ignorant, I just wanted to get it done quickly, but now that I know better, I thought it was a good thing that I didn’t do it that day. It was a sin to be ignorant. As expected, prior research was essential for everything.

    I was watching numerous videos of a man attacking another man. Tae Seong-je’s pleasure had to be a priority in my relationship with him. So I carefully considered and planned what I should do and say to make him happy. However, because it was impossible to know Tae Seong-je’s current sex style or taste, those with strong preferences but maniacal tendencies had to be excluded.

    But it seemed to be quite difficult. I searched and read stories about first sex failure out of anxiety, and on the way, I bought and ate Cheongsimhwan Pill. As soon as I got home, I prepared condoms and gel and cleaned up. I was a little self-conscious because I looked like a boyfriend cleaning a room for his girlfriend, who was moving in with him for the first time, but then I realized I couldn’t invite anyone over.

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