DI Ch 224

“If you hate it that much, I won’t do it.”

“…?”

After fondling and touching me like that, he suddenly stopped and backed off. Feeling both disappointed and suspicious, I squinted at him, only for him to repeat himself.

“I won’t do anything you don’t like. You’ve seen everything, yet you still doubt me.”

“…”

It was natural for my heart to be greatly shaken by those straightforward words. Sometimes, Tae Seong-je was surprisingly different from how he looked. I wondered if other people noticed too. Although he could sometimes coax you into thinking otherwise, those who didn’t know him well often formed negative preconceptions about him. He was the type who, when he loved someone, would be so kind and always let them win, even if he pretended to dislike them. He was someone who, no matter how much he tried to hide it, was full of love. And only I knew that. Just me. Even though my mind was spinning, with reason and emotions both rejecting him firmly, my mouth betrayed me, speaking on its own. Maybe it was because I thought I was the only one who really understood Tae Seong-je.

“You can suck it. …If it’s just one place.”

“Really?”

No. I immediately regretted giving permission. Suck where? What’s there to allow? But seeing his happy face, I couldn’t bring myself to take it back. Ah, he’s so happy.

“Which part can I suck?”

“…I can’t choose.”

“No? Then let’s do the back. It needs to get wet anyway, right?”

“Ugh, damn it. That’s true, but…”

I should have known. He pretended to give a choice between front and back, but the answer was already decided. Though if I said I preferred the front, he’d probably happily suck that too. Am I being led on here? Even so, I’ve already given permission. Finally, I close my eyes with more determination than ever before, but he doesn’t actually do anything, just caressing my shoulders and chest, planting little kisses. Anxious, I slightly open my eyes and ask as if urging him:

“Aren’t you going to do it?”

“I will. But first, calm down. You might get hurt like this.”

I wondered what there was to calm down about at a time like this, but my thoughts were cut off as his fingertips brushed past my waist. My shoulders, which squirmed from the ticklish sensation, felt stiff and tense. But then his hands with just the right amount of strength firmly massaged my tense shoulders and nape. I closed my eyes again, exhaling softly. With my vision blocked, I could acutely feel his touch pressing my collarbone as if playing piano keys, squeezing and kneading my chest, then sliding down to caress my abdomen. When I opened my eyes, I saw my excited and flushed p3nis in his hand. 

I tried to take a long breath to calm my short breathing, but it didn’t work well. My heart had been beating too fast for a while, making it hard to calm down. This made me increasingly impulsive, my body moving ahead restlessly. Ah, was this why he told me to calm down? Feeling light-headed, I looked up at him instead of speaking, gently poking his dimples. Hyung, help me. Why am I this excited? No, don’t bite my fingers. Even as I tried to pull my fingers out, he held on tight, gnawing on them playfully. There was no doubt I’d have teeth marks.

“You’re probably over the moon that I brought you here, aren’t you?”

“For the trip?”

“The trip isn’t the important part. Out of all the places, I specifically chose this one. You’re touched, right? Of course, you are. You wouldn’t get this excited over some fish heads.”

Fish heads… His sarcastic voice pierced through my overexcitement as he mockingly searched for a reason. Then, he started looking for something. When I realized he was searching for condoms, I handed him the ones I had packed, only for him to inspect them suspiciously and toss them aside.

“We’ll save those for later.”

“Do you think I poked holes in them or something?”

“No.”

“Then why won’t you use it? Don’t doubt people like that.”

“Seungwon. Remember when you tried to persuade me to go to the aquarium for over a year? You begged me endlessly to go see it, even if it was just once.”

There he goes, changing the subject. For almost a year, I had begged him. I’d teased him endlessly, and he’d stubbornly ignored me, only to finally agree to go in the end. Back when I was twenty, right after I’d started college, a huge aquarium had opened in the building we’d once huddled in together. For years, it had been nothing but rumors, and I thought the project had been scrapped. But by the time I got to college, it had actually been built. I’d heard the remodeling had turned out better than expected, and my curiosity grew. But begging him for a whole year wasn’t just because I wanted to see it. No, it was a convenient excuse to talk to him, someone who pretended not to care, and maybe even use it as an excuse for a date.

“Even if I told you to go alone, you said it wouldn’t mean anything if we didn’t go together. You even threatened that you’d never go alone, even if you died.”

“I didn’t threaten you.”

I bit down gently on his hand as he stroked my lips. All I had said was that I’d die with regret if I didn’t go with him. As I avoided his gaze and grumbled, he suddenly stopped talking. In the sudden silence, our breathing became clearly audible, and the reflected blue light felt scattered and noisy. When I finally met the gaze I had been avoiding, I felt a fleeting sense of bitterness and sorrow.

“…You don’t like crowds, can’t swim, so why do you like the sea so much?”

His subdued gaze wandered around my face, making me feel like he was about to cry, scold me, or maybe even blame me. I felt like I needed to say something, to offer some excuse to soothe him, so I spoke.

“I don’t like it as much as you think.”

“Who was it that got excited and stripped naked?”

“Ah, no, wait. It wasn’t because of the ocean, it was because I was moved by your feelings for me, remember? You admitted it too!”

As I flared up belatedly in embarrassment, he clicked his tongue, lightly pinching and releasing my cheek in a playful yet serious gesture. Though his expression was a bit complicated, his touch was as gentle as ever.

“You still don’t know what you like or dislike… If that’s how you’re going to be, at least align your words with your actions. Or maybe, just admit it already.”

“…”

“You like it a lot.”

You love the sea too much. Lately, you’ve been laughing like you’re full of joy, and now you’re whispering without a hint of a smile. His words made my fingers flinch. The pale blue light touching your cheek rippled noisily, almost making me cover my ears.

“What if I hadn’t noticed? I would’ve kept upsetting you, not knowing how to respond.”

As I hesitated, he immediately started making jokes and playful, risqué remarks. But I didn’t feel like playing along.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have I upset you a lot by being oblivious?”

“A lot.”

Even though I hadn’t meant to, I felt guilty upon hearing there had been so many instances. I fell silent, unsure of what to say, while he slyly slipped his fingers into the last piece of clothing I hadn’t taken off—my socks—and snapped the elastic against my ankle.

“Why’s the mood like this? Forget it. I’ll let it all slide, so just do what you’re good at.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant, as there were too many things I was surprisingly good at.

“Even if you leave it unfinished again, this time I’ll take over. Just start. You always tease and leave me hanging.”

“I don’t do that.”

“You do. You did the same when you used to follow me around. You’re still good at it, so have some confidence.”

Was he making fun of me again? I thought hard and slowly untangled the blanket, spreading my legs apart. He seemed pleased, and a voice, barely suppressing his excitement, crept between my legs.

“I told you, you’ve got a knack for this.”

This was more embarrassing than I had expected. He said to tell him if I wanted to stop, even in the middle of it, but before I could, he was already pressing his lips to my inner thighs, licking them as he moved upwards. When he bit into my thigh, like taking a bite out of an apple, the unexpected jolt made me shudder. I tried to pull away, but his grip on my legs was like a snake’s coil, locking me in place.

I wanted to escape the approaching sensation, to ask him to stop breathing, but I realized how absurd that request was and kept my mouth shut. Not that I had the luxury to speak anyway. The moment I opened my mouth, I would cry out, saying something was wrong and asking him to stop. The advantage of staying calm was that it prevented me from recklessly hurting myself in panic. On the downside, it made me too aware of my surroundings. This was a problem because I could now feel the unsettling gaze of all the marine creatures around us. As I fumbled around the wall, I accidentally hit a button, and the room became dark as the blinds silently slid shut.

A shiver ran down my spine, the sound of him sucking on my thigh unnerving me. And then, and then…

“Ah, stop, hyung, stop it! Stop and, ah! Don’t lick, don’t put it in!”

“I just started, uh, why stop so soon?”

I thought I knew what Tae Seong-je’s tongue felt like, but I was wrong. I didn’t even want to know. His tongue was probing inside, and the feeling was so unpleasant that my legs instinctively tried to close. Despite my attempts to push him away by stepping on his shoulders and arching my back, he wouldn’t budge. The fact that his face was so close to my lower body made me uncomfortable, and the hint of tears in my voice was even more humiliating. Tears welled up, and he sucked so hard that I lost track of time, overwhelmed by the sensation.

“Hic, no, I don’t want to, stop, …!”

At first, he had spread me open with two fingers while sucking, but then he slid them inside, going deeper than he had even three days ago. In a panic, I kicked his shoulders, trying to push him away, and, seemingly understanding, he lifted his head. For a moment, I thought he had really stopped. Even as he pushed his fingers deeper inside, I thought he had.

“Hnng, nnngh, hnnngh!”

When he started sucking me off, it was clear I had been tricked. I could feel every bit of his mouth, trembling as I struggled to breathe properly, but Tae Seong-je didn’t feel nauseous or show any signs of stopping. His possessive manner of svcking, as if he wouldn’t let go even if I came, was infuriating. Damn it, he’s always been so selfish, even back in the day.