DI Ch 37

There’s no medicine for this kind of body, but because he was so stubborn, I carelessly pointed my finger at the inside of my bag.

“Which one. Is this the first aid kit?”

“Not that one, that one.”

It would be faster if I just find them. While I took out the medicine myself, Tae Seong-je took out the ax from the bag and looked it over.

“What the hell… Why are you carrying this? What is this, military food? Where are you going to evacuate to? You’re carrying all these useless things. Doesn’t your shoulder hurt?”

“No. I’m strong.”

Tae Seong-je seemed to have a lot to say, but he wrinkled his brow as if he didn’t want to bother. I raised my hand to his slightly wrinkled brows and poked my fingertips between them. Then one of his handsome brows raised. Tae Seong-je suddenly made a serious face and gently touched my cheek.

“You got a bruise on your cheek, is it because of me? Did I squeeze it too hard yesterday?”

“Is it bad?”

“No. It’s not that bad, but…”

Then I take out a large bandage from the first aid kit and puts it on my cheek.

“Your eyelashes are all wet.”

Tae Seong-je muttered and clicked his tongue while frowning. He raised his arm and wiped away the tears without saying anything. The soft robe stung a little. Tae Seong-je gently rubbed my thighs with his hand that hugged my waist. It was as if he was saying everything was fine.

My face and gown were dirty from the nosebleeds more than usual, but Tae Seong-je pecked at my face with his lips like a bird without hesitation. My chest was itchy. Ah, that’s good. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes. It felt so good to be held like a child, to be kissed, to be loved in some way.

“Where are you in pain? Do you want me to take you to the big hospital?”

Maybe it was because I knew that Tae Seong-je sees people as dogs or cats. Everything he said felt like he was talking to a pet. I feel like I have a very unique owner. Still, I just liked it because the person I like was worried about me.

“How can you laugh right now?”

It wasn’t until I got a scolding look that I realized I’d laughed out loud.

“Seong-je hyung, I.”

“Why. Are you dizzy? Do you feel like throwing up?”

“No.”

“No? Then, does your stomach hurt?”

He reached into my gown with his large hands and gently stroked my stomach. It was quite serious, so I wanted to laugh, but I held back for fear of being scolded.

“No, not that…”

“What is it. Where? Here?”

“No.”

I shook my head and laughed under my breath as his groping fingers tickled my skin. The words slipped out of my mouth without my knowledge.

“I just want to say that I like you.”

His lips tugged as he looked down at me silently. I wondered if having your dog say it liked you was really that good. It was also much simpler than I had expected. Tae Seong-je laughed, so I laughed along with him. I liked that Tae Seong-je laughed a lot. It was really good. I’m not sure if I had hearts in my eyes, but I felt happy at this moment

“I think I like you a lot, I just wanted to tell you that, in case you didn’t know.”

“Why wouldn’t I know that? I know.”

For some reason, Tae Seong-je seemed to be in a very good mood.

“You don’t even know what kind of face you make every time you see me, right?”

“Oh. What do I look like?”

“Oh, stop messing around and stay still. It hasn’t stopped yet.”

“It seems to have stopped…”

“It’s gushing out from the other side now.”

Oh, no. I had never had a double nosebleed before and didn’t want him to see it, so I quickly covered it. Tae Seong-je clicked his tongue and caressed my cold cheek.

“Why do you keep bleeding like this? What if you start bleeding in a strange place or something?”

Where else does blood come out besides the nose and mouth? I thought he was worrying for nothing, but Tae Seong-je immediately asked.

“What’s your blood type?”

“Me? I’m type O.”

“Oh no. I’m type B.”

I realized he was joking when the corners of Tae Seong-je’s lips lifted slightly while staring at him blankly. The tension was relieved in an instant, and laughter erupted. What. Will he provide me with a blood transfusion if I need one? I was happy, to say the least. Oh, I’m glad I like this person. I smiled in happiness.

On a different note, I was well aware that Tae Seong-je was not a person who would protect me.

If there was anyone who would protect me, it was only me. My life was literally on the line right now, and that made me depressed even when I tried not to be. But the thought of being in a relationship with someone I loved at a time like this made me feel like I was rolling around in the clouds.

I wasn’t angry that Tae Seong-je used me. If you think about it, it’s the same for me. There was no particular reason. Just like he used me to catch people, I also used him to return to my world. And the feeling was still there. So no matter how hard I laughed, I felt a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes.

“Hyung. I… I want to go home.”

“Okay. Let’s go. I’ll take you.”

I grabbed him and held out my pinky finger as he tried to stand up. Tae Seong-je most likely thought I was joking, so he laughed and hooked his finger on my pinky finger as if playing a rhythm. I really wanted to cry.

This was an unfair promise of your ruin in exchange for my return.

I know it too. I’ll go home when it’s all over, but he won’t have anything left. He’ll have to start all over again. But his current job isn’t even a good one, so I reasoned that this would be a good opportunity for him as well.

As my desire to return to reality clashed with my guilt, I began to arbitrarily rationalize it. Even if Tae Seong-je loses everything, he will rise up and recover like he always does. Maybe he’ll be able to live a new life doing something ordinary and respectable like most people.

He’ll need money to do that. Money, money was the problem. I racked my brains to somehow help his happiness. Should I get life insurance? Can Tae Seong-je, who is not a member of the family, receive the money? Maybe I’ll find a way if I keep looking.  Even if the insurance money come out, it would have been useless when Seo Seung-won, who had returned to his place, appeared.

Actually, rather than money, I was most concerned about his pride, which had reached a pinnacle before being dragged down by multiple opponents and destroyed. What should I do to fill his emptiness? I wouldn’t even be by his side in the end. Well, he’s not a child, and it doesn’t really matter if I’m not by his side.

Even though I felt bad for Tae Seong-je, I didn’t think about changing the ending. Because I miss the people I care about badly. Above all, I don’t want to be in pain anymore. This body was in constant pain, and it was excruciatingly painful. I can’t watch a single movie because I’m afraid of getting stressed out. In the worst-case scenario, my lungs hurt every time I breathed, so I couldn’t act recklessly. Seo Seung-won’s body was completely unsuitable for me.

“I’ll go first and start the engine, so put on your clothes and come out when you feel better.”

I’m not sure if my sincerity paid off, but Tae Seong-je gently rubbed his lips on the nape of my neck and stroked me affectionately. I closed my eyes as my skin tickled every time he spoke. It was difficult to look him in the eyes because pretending to be unaware of the mismatched conversation was more unpleasant than seeing him off.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Tae Seong-jae’s back as he left the room with my bag. There will come a time when I will get used to looking at his back. I went into the bathroom, washed my face, finely folded my bloodstained gown, and placed the little cash I had on it before getting dressed.

There were only a few years left until part 2. It was either a long or short time, depending on how one looked at it. While I was absentmindedly thinking about this, I suddenly had a thought. Then, wouldn’t it be okay to have some freedom until then? After all, I didn’t stray too far from the original story and it doesn’t seem to have an effect on Woo Ji-min’s life anyway. It would be the same for my relationship and the supporting character’s backstory, which the main character does not know.  Even though the person in question is Tae Seong-je, so what? He probably doesn’t mean it anyway.

I really like Tae Seong-je right now, and Tae Seong-je also likes me quite a bit. I’m not sure how long it will last, but whether it’s today or in a few years, there will be no development issues as long as we stick to our respective roles in part 2. Above all, since Tae Seong-jae is quite kind to me now, I wanted to stay by his side until he decided to part.

I wanted to have a little joy in this desolate and painful daily life more than anything else. Even in reality, I yearned to be loved and depended on someone. So my heart beat faster because I thought I could do it here. If dating is acceptable, shouldn’t it be acceptable to express my feelings without reservation? Then, let us continue to keep in touch to the point of being annoying, asking to meet, saying I miss you, and even saying I love you without hesitation.

The thought of being able to say those words made Seo Seung-won’s life a little more interesting. Still, it was nice to know that it was okay. I felt more at ease than floundering around without any direction. My priority was solely to return to reality, so even if I loved him, it was a winning game in many ways.

Even my footsteps felt lighter when I thought of it positively. When I walked out of the motel, I noticed the convenience store before Tae Seong-je’s car. I walked quickly to Tae Seong-je’s car and knocked on the window with both hands in my pockets. The black window slid down with a mechanical sound.

“What-…”

Before Tae Seong-je asked what was going on, I pressed my lips against his lips.

“Seong-je hyung. Let’s go to the convenience store.”