DI Ch 43

I suddenly remembered the day when my ears were bleeding. I couldn’t even go to class that day because I was being examined at the hospital all day. Tae Seong-je told me to call him when the test results come out and to take a taxi home. I wanted to grab Tae Seong-je, who was busy talking to someone, and stop him from leaving. But just like my priority was not him, Tae Seong-je also put his work first. I couldn’t be selfish and didn’t insist on him staying.

And, as always, the results were normal. No doctor could find out where the bleeding was, and no matter what my symptoms were, they couldn’t even find the cause of the problem. From the outside, I was a normal young man, so they even suspected that I was faking an illness. It was unfair.

When I later told him there was no problem, he became irritated and suggested we return to the hospital together. However, Tae Seong-je was the busiest person in the world, and even checking his messages was painfully slow for him.

I knew that sometimes he checked messages late. After waiting for a while, I finally received a reply, so I quickly checked it. It was both amusing and pitiful to see myself eagerly waiting for his response. If the 1 disappeared, Tae Seong-je would tell me to go home when the sun sets or to stay in crowded places, just like the things I would say to my younger sister.

Just go home. Lock your door properly. [16:39]

I stared at the last message I had received earlier in the afternoon. No, since when did he change? I just mentioned having dinner outside, and that’s how the reply came. He used to ask me what I wanted to eat or tell me to eat a lot of what I liked before we started dating. What caused the change? What made it different? Unknowingly, I typed ‘My lover had changed’ in the search bar. A lot of people, regardless of gender, were struggling with this problem. Normal relationships, abnormal relationships, and love problems seemed quite similar.

I had always felt it, but his messages gradually made me feel more and more sad. To put it bluntly, it made me feel terrible. At first glance, even his short replies seemed devoid of sincerity. His way of speaking was bad, but hearing it face to face was a completely different experience than just reading the texts. I realized that he couldn’t love everything just because he said he loved me.

During the midterms, I had other things to focus on, so I didn’t miss him as much. But after it ended, I started to miss him. I boasted about being good at waiting, but it seemed like I wasn’t as good at it as I thought. Or maybe I had changed.

“Heeeey! Seo Seung-won!”

I heard a familiar voice from somewhere. What was it? I’ve heard this voice somewhere before. Whose voice was it? I turned my head back and forth. Maybe I misheard it, but it was too clear and resonated. Some crazy person was screaming and running through the rain. I squinted to see who it was, and my eyes widened when the shadowy figure stepped into the light.

It was Seo Seung-won’s friend, Park Kang-woo.

Park Kang-woo ran towards me and stretched out his arms. Since Park Kang-woo had a similar build to mine, it wasn’t a hug or an embrace. He stood awkwardly with his arms outstretched, furrowing his eyebrows. We had never put our arms around each other, even as a joke, during our three years of high school together. Park Kang-woo wasn’t someone who was generous with physical contact, puak.

“Huuok…”

I tapped the guy’s body quickly with a strong force that pressed against his ribcage. Despite my punches, he ignored them and continued to spout rough words one after another.

“You fucking bastard, go to hell! Are you really my friend?! Report your well-being at least!”

Coincidentally, someone opened the window and turned on the music, and a sweet love song rang out. It felt like a scene from a movie, but there was nothing romantic about it. On a rainy night, it was an absurd and strange sight to hear him squeak and choke as the lyrics about love sounded and me begging him to get away from me.

My hands kept slipping in the rain, and when I finally grabbed Park Kang-woo’s collar, I tripped his legs and made him fall. I fell on the ground as well, but I was able to catch my breath. I lifted Park Kang-woo’s upper body and grabbed his face. Park Kang-woo, who appeared to be lying on his back in his bedroom rather than falling down, wept bitterly as I pushed his soaking wet hair back and helped him catch his breath.

“I think I sprained my back…”

“That’s why I told you to move out of the way…”

“Even so, do you have to punch me like that?”

Cause and effect. I was exhausted and overwhelmed by a mix of emotions as I splashed rainwater on the puddle-covered ground. It was fortunate that I had been drinking tonight. It helped ease my anger, but the pain was still lingering. However, I felt like my arms or knees would be bruised and sore tomorrow morning. Perfect moments never seem to come.

Unaware of my pace, Park Kang-woo writhed on the ground, making whimpering sounds. I left him there and tried to use the umbrella that had flown away in the distance. I roughly shook off the water and folded it. It was pointless to use an umbrella when I was already soaked through my underwear. I thought I was rapidly getting tired, so I shut my mouth for a while to regain my composure…

“Oh no, oh no… I’m going to die… Grandma, Kang-woo is dying… Your puppy is dying… there’s no order in dying, so I’ll go first…”

The sound of rain, the love song, and Park Kang-woo’s crying voice formed a rhythmic trio.  I don’t think he was always like this, but he seemed to have become more dramatic since graduating, or rather since he began internet broadcasting. I sighed heavily and covered my face with my hands before looking at the guy who was still rolling in the rain.

“Stop exaggerating and get up.”

I can’t believe I’m getting all wet with my house right in front of me. I entered the shared entrance and shook off the umbrella, and narrowed my eyes in frustration. In that brief moment, a puddle formed beneath my feet. If my bag didn’t have waterproof capabilities, I would have killed him. Park Kang-woo followed me like a wet dog, shaking his head. I couldn’t help but wonder why he came on this night and how deep their friendship must be, which left me with a troubled heart.

“How did you get here?”

Park Kang-woo squeezed his clothes tightly and answered quickly when I asked.

“I asked Seo Seung-joon, our smart guy.”

“Why is he giving someone else’s address?”

“What’s wrong with it, he is your younger brother.”

Despite his reprimand, it was Park Kang-woo who firmly called his younger brother a stubborn bastard. I stared at him without saying anything, and he smiled naturally. I shook my head at his cheerful expression.

“I ran into him when I went back to our hometown, and I treated him to a meal. He has grown taller, right? Boys always grow rapidly during those years.”

“That’s right. Well…”

“He seemed a bit dazed. Is there something bothering him?”

“How am I supposed to know that?”

“He’s your younger brother.”

I almost retorted that he was not my younger brother without realizing it, but I simply shut my mouth. When I lifted my head in the midst of the rain, I noticed the persistent, thick raindrops falling in front of my eyes. The soothing sound of rain was quite pleasant. Park Kang-woo should thank me for drinking alcohol on a rainy day. Otherwise, I would have stopped him from crossing the threshold of this apartment building.

“Let’s go upstairs and wash up first.”

As soon as we arrived home, I gave Park Kang-woo a towel and went to the bathroom first to take a shower. Before the water dries, I quickly get dressed and push the guy in. It wasn’t long before I heard the shower running.

After thoroughly wiping the wet backpack and inspecting each item inside to see if any of them had gotten wet, I hung my backpack upside down on the veranda after ensuring that nothing was damaged. Park Kang-woo spoke to me from behind as I bent the hanger to hang it.

“You still carry  your emergency bag, huh?”

Did he shower already? When I turned around, Park Kang-woo was standing there naked. Ah, my eyes.

“I told you, I put the clothes over there. Put them on.”

“Ooh, Seo Seung-won, you have a sense of style.”

Park Kang-woo put on the clothes and sat on the floor, admiring the neatly organized items. Exhausted, I leaned against the wall and looked at him. Park Kang-woo rummaged through five bundles of detachable climbing crampons and said,

“What else did you add?”

“If you’re going to pick a fight, just leave.”

As a third-year high school student, unlike the kids who carried exam preparation books in their bags, I carried a hand axe. It started with a flashlight, and then the necessary items for escape gradually increased. The biggest turning point in my life, no in Seo Seung-won’s life, was the kidnapping incident. And to make matters worse, he was kidnapped by a gangster. Even just imagining it was frightening and terrifying, and I trembled with anxiety every day.

Through the novel, I knew that the bag would not be taken away. So I thought that as long as I had this, I would be able to survive, break free, and run away. With countless thoughts like that, I began bringing various objects, and eventually, I ran out of space for exam preparation books.

Seo Seung-won and I had one thing in common: we went to a prestigious boys’ high school known for its academic intensity. Like boys everywhere, the excessive mischievousness was a problem. One day, Park Kang-woo tried to put a toy cockroach in my bag, and the kids were surprised when they saw what was inside the bag. The boys were naive, thinking it was a great prank for a kid who was bleeding on a daily basis.

I distinctly remember the first thing Park Kang-woo said when he saw my bag.

“I want to go play a game too.”

My surreal-like reality seemed like preparation for an escape game to Park Kang-woo.

He thought I was invited somewhere to play an actual escape game and excitedly asked if he could come too. Being a persistent guy who didn’t know how to give up, he kept pestering me. I honestly told him that I carried it around because I was the type of guy who might need it someday. Then, he suddenly changed his attitude and sincerely advised me that being diligent is useless and that I’ll suffer if I continue to study. My anger boiled up at his sudden change in lecturing tone. I wondered why he thought he knew everything and felt a surge of emotions. I blurted out that I was terrified of being kidnapped by a gangster on what day and at what time, but Park Kang-woo concluded that it was a stupid thing to think. I told him to stay out of it, but then I got a nosebleed, so the argument was cut short.