DI Ch 50

At the same time, Tae Seong-je hugged me tightly as if he wanted to squeeze me to death. I didn’t mind it, so I wrapped both of my legs around his waist and pulled him close without any gap. Taesung’s rough movements gradually became more gentle and tender, but the bed creaked like crazy.

He licked my collarbone eagerly as if trying to calm down his excitement. I felt like an ice cream. For a while, we continued to caress and kiss passionately. My legs, which had been filled with energy, eventually weakened and slid down from his waist, exhausted.

Fatigue washed over me. Well, if I think about it, it’s understandable. I had lectures yesterday, and I was worried about making a mistake with Woo Ji-min. On top of that, I wrestled with Park Kang-woo in the rain late at night. And as if that wasn’t enough, I spent the whole day thinking about someone who couldn’t be reached. No wonder I was exhausted.

Tae Seong-je must have been tired as well, but he just mumbled and chewed on my shoulder, feeling content. Why does he keep chewing as if he were a dog? He’s not even a puppy yet… If he’s sleepy, he should just sleep… As I became intoxicated by the lingering sensation that wouldn’t easily disappear, my eyelids grew heavy, and I closed my eyes.

“Sleepy?”

I raised my hand, which lost its strength at Tae Seong-je’s voice, and wrapped my arm around his strong shoulder. Holding someone you love while sleeping might be the happiest thing in the world. However, being crushed and suffocated was not pleasant. It felt like being flattened.

I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t muster the strength. More accurately, I had already fallen asleep, closer to not being able to protest. As I stood there, wondering what I was remembering this time, I was suddenly knocked off my feet by something. I looked up in surprise and found my younger self curled up in a ball out of habit.

I unconsciously thought that my father would be in front of me rather than dreaming now, so I took a step back. My hands trembled and turned my head at the incomprehensible cry. That’s when my younger sister jumped out and blocked my path.

“Don’t hit. Don’t hit him! Ahhh, seriously, just leave Oppa alone!”

My younger sister screamed like a madman and confronted our father. However, I hoped that my younger sister would be able to stop our father to stop. I was terrified right now. My heart began to race and I trembled like a child without even realizing it. Expecting my younger sister to resolve this situation was absurd, and it made me question my sanity.

Then an unfortunate thing happened. The overstimulated father raised his hand, not recognizing his beloved daughter. Not only was my sister surprised, but so was I, and I jumped up and grabbed his wrist in a panic.

Everyone, including myself, was startled and bewildered. It was the first time I had stood up against my father’s aggression. As a child, I couldn’t fathom what possessed me to intervene. But one thing was clear: although I may not have known, my younger sister had never experienced being on the receiving end of our father’s violence. If things continued as they were, my younger sister would be left battered and unable to get up for some time. Knowing that I had to take action when our father was taken aback, I turned my head and spoke firmly.

– ■■■, you get out.

– O-Oppa.

– Get out. You’re not leaving? I said get out!

I shouted at my younger sister, who was so scared that she could barely catch her breath. Ironically, my younger self’s voice trembled. My younger sister clutched her chest, gasping heavily as she struggled to breathe. As my younger sister hurriedly run out of the room, I let go of my father’s wrist, as if I had never had such courage before. I lifted my head without looking in the mirror, and my younger self’s face was pale with unease.

I was so afraid of the terrifying gaze and silence that I didn’t even dare to salivate. Rather than watching a video, I felt like I was actually in my father’s study. That’s why, rather than wanting to leave immediately, I wished my father wouldn’t be too angry. But that was unlikely. Perhaps today was simply a day to face death. My legs weakened as my breath became short, and my younger self knelt down.

“…”

Even though I opened my eyes, it wasn’t long before I realized I’d awoken. My brain seemed to be melting away.  It was more like sizzling than melting. I felt like wet cotton candy. I was exhausted, and it was hot everywhere I turned. Above all, my throat kept feeling dry. The fear of my father’s violence kept haunting me, and I kept thinking of other things.

I tried to calm my mind, but I faintly heard the sound of water. It was the bathroom. Tae Seong-je must be taking a shower now. What time is it? I hoped that only 30 minutes had passed. I hadn’t intended to think about this dream that I didn’t want to remember, so I squandered time. Despite this, my energy suddenly dropped. Even with that in mind, my body felt heavier and more disoriented than usual, which was unusual.

After struggling on the cleaned bed for a while, I finally managed to stand up. I think I slept in my shirt, but I couldn’t see where it had gone. Setting that aside, my whole body was covered in bite marks and scratches. I had only been sleeping, yet I felt as if I had been eaten. I wondered if we did it while I was sleeping, but my back didn’t hurt. I just felt uncomfortable underneath. I was a little nervous because he touched and rubbed me before going to sleep.

My entire body was itchy for some reason. I groped around to cover my naked body, thinking it might be because the soft blanket kept touching my bare skin, but I got caught on the hem of some clothes. I looked around and found clothes that I hadn’t seen before spread out on the bed. And there was a shopping bag I’d never seen before. Maybe he sent someone to get the clothes. I’m not really sure.

As I changed my clothes, cold sweat broke out. I wiped my sweaty forehead and rolled up my sleeves before getting up from the bed. Although I felt dizzy, I could still stand. When I lightly tapped on the bathroom door, I heard a voice telling me to come in. Opening the door and sticking my head in, I saw Tae Seong-je, neatly dressed and shaving. He smiled briefly through the mirror.

“You’re awake.”

“Yes… Hyung, I’ll make breakfast. Would you like to eat?”

Tae Seong-je nodded his head and focused on shaving. I enjoyed watching him in the mirror, so I added unnecessary words to prolong the conversation.

“Do you like kimchi stew or soybean stew?”

Tae Seong-je wiped off the foam from the razor and approached me, then kissed me on the lips. His lips parted with a soft sound. My lips tingled as if stained with foam, and I unintentionally opened my eyes wide.

“Do as you please.”

My head and body felt heavy, but my thirst was gone and my heart felt light. I poured water and took out the kimchi, swiftly slicing it. Despite feeling sluggish, I wanted to eat with him more than wanting to lie down on the bed again. I didn’t expect we could eat together…

I was genuinely glad that he made time for me. Strange melodies flowed out of my mouth. The lyrics were muddled, and it couldn’t be considered a song. As I sang, I wondered what song it was. It was the melody that Tae Seong-je had hummed before.

Suddenly, I thought I should contact Park Kang-woo. I wanted to apologize first and suggest meeting before leaving. It was too difficult to cut our ties so completely; I was too guilty to let it end this way.

I wiped my damp hands on my clothes and searched for my phone. Strangely, it wasn’t turning on. It was odd. I always made sure to keep the battery fully charged in case I received a call from Woo Ji-min… And just in case, I even set a specific ringtone for Woo Ji-min. But it turned out there was a problem with the device. What was the use of what I had prepared if there was a malfunction? Maybe I should go to the service center.

While charging my phone, I neatly placed a spoon and chopsticks on the dining table and took out the side dishes. When I tried to open a can of tuna, I had no strength at all. I suddenly felt dizzy and grabbed the table, taking a deep breath. Each breath made my throat ache and feel hot. It was the first time my physical condition had been this bad.

The phone, now powered on, was blinking brightly. There were consecutive messages and missed calls. From a text asking if I arrived safely at Woo Ji-min’s house, to group chats and messages from the student rep… and even contacts from people I wasn’t particularly close with. This was something that often happened in real life, so I simply ignored them without even reading. I had no idea how they knew my number and contacted me.

I quickly found the culprit that drained the battery. It was because of Seo Seung-won’s parents. I lost my words at the numerous missed calls. I was taken aback because I had never received a call like this before, and I immediately checked the text messages.

Seung-won. Seung-joon said he didn’t go to school because he was going to see you. [09:11]

I can’t even contact him. He only told Minju and went to the terminal. But why can’t I contact him? I think something happened. [09:11]

Are you very busy? Do you have classes? [09:11]

Mom called you too many times. I’m sorry. I’m too shocked and confused. [09:21]

Seung-won. Isn’t Seung-joon there? [10:17]

As soon as I finished reading the last message, I heard the sound of the front door password being entered. Unlike my boiling body, my head became cold enough to calm down. The only people other than me who know my house password are Seo Seung-won’s family. Even without seeing it, I could tell who the uninvited guest was.

Before all six digits were entered, I crossed my arms and stood in front of the entrance. Seo Sung-joon came out in a manner that was not befitting of a trespasser, but rather as if he were the owner of the house. When our eyes met, he jumped in surprise and awkwardly smiled. Judging from the fact that he came dressed in his school uniform, it seemed he had come here after skipping school.

“Uh, hyung. Hi.”

“Why are you here?”

The words didn’t come out well.

I could tell that he had something on his mind. Aside from the college entrance exam, he would have other concerns at his age. Normally, he would discuss it with his friends, but Seo Seung-joon’s best friends were all girls. If he couldn’t talk to his girl friends about a problem, it wasn’t unusual for him to go to his brother, who was once his closest friend.