DI Ch 80

“…”

Tae Seong-je seemed to be in a dreadful conversation with someone who couldn’t understand a word he was saying. To others, I must have appeared as if I had no shame whatsoever. No, why am I the only one being treated as abnormal? And why is he acting as if I’ve already ruined everything without even doing anything? I tried to recall if I had done anything up to this point, but nothing particularly came to mind. Why is he making such a fuss when I haven’t really done anything?

“I clearly gave you a chance. Now, even if you change, I won’t give you another one.”

“Alright…”

After all, Seo Seung-won’s life was destined to go downhill from Part 2 onwards and be abandoned without any warning. If that’s the case, isn’t it more advantageous to keep meeting until the end? I simply made a rational choice. But he looked at me as if I were a stupid little monkey. It was unfair, but I felt helpless. Who was he to accuse someone else of lacking a conscience? I wanted to argue, but there was nothing I could say, so I felt frustrated.

“Why now?”

As my anger rose, I noticed something strange in Tae Seong-je’s gaze as he looked at me. When I wanted to speak, he crossed his arms and scrutinized me again. But why didn’t he believe me when I said I knew?  I suddenly became curious. Why did he need to confirm multiple times? Something didn’t add up. Was Tae Seong-je always this cautious? I got lost in thought, but then he dropped a bombshell.

“I’ve been bothered by it for a while, but when I thought about it again, it just seemed weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why haven’t you asked anything? Something like that?”

My relaxed shoulders tensed again. My heart started pounding in a bad way.

“What do you think about it?”

“…”

“Seo Seung-won. Let’s talk.”

“…”

I couldn’t have known he would ask such a thing. While I had been heated earlier, this time I felt a cold chill down my spine, and a cold sweat began to bead on my forehead. My mind started to race with confusion as he maintained a deliberately slow and calm demeanor.

“It’s as if you don’t react even when you’ve caught on… You don’t ask questions even when you should… What’s going on in your head?”

“…”

“I don’t think you’re not curious, but why… why do you keep your mouth shut and don’t ask me anything, that’s what I want to know.”

Tae Seong-je muttered in annoyance.

“This was comfortable and nice at first. Hah, I didn’t expect this to be so annoying.”

His expression was gradually, no, openly turning sour. It seemed like more than just a mood swing; his wounded pride was on full display. He crossed his arms and frowned, and his fingers began to twitch in impatience.

“Don’t you have any questions? Aren’t you curious about where this place is? You don’t even want to know?”

“No, well… There’s a sea, so it’s probably either the East Sea or the South Sea…”

“You call that an answer?”

Even though I had thought I’d like to see his angry side again because it was sexy, I now understood why I found it so unpleasant. It was because the feeling of being scolded was stronger. His imposing attitude made me want to run away, and my buttocks kept squirming involuntarily.

“So, you just like me, and that’s it?”

“Um, yes… It seems that way.”

My feeble response didn’t seem to please him, as Tae Seong-je opened his mouth with an annoyed look.

“Fine. Fuck it, I’ll take it as that. Then why haven’t you asked me about this?”

“To you… hyung? What is it?”

“If it’s a romantic relationship, there are basic things you should ask.”

He spoke harshly, as if he was chewing every word. I lowered my gaze to avoid his intense gaze. The atmosphere became tense.

“I’ve been careful with my words because I have a lot to hide, but I still wanted to share some small things with you. But you don’t even look into my life. You don’t even ask me what my job is. …Even after I told you, you still can’t believe it. What on earth did you believe in when you met me? What’s good about a guy who doesn’t even keep in touch and acting so high and mighty?”

His assertive and serious attitude was unfamiliar. Suddenly, I found myself wondering what this situation was. Why was he asking such questions that made me feel uncomfortable? Tae Seong-je’s question, which wanted an honest answer, was very intimidating.

“You’ve asked nothing, and your words are vague and empty… I really don’t know what you’re thinking or how you live your life. I even wondered if there’s someone in the world easier than you. No, I don’t know.”

“…”

“Haa. This is a relationship between lovers. Not sex partner.”

He sighed deeply, pressing his temples as if he had a headache. It was then that my insides began to churn.

“… And you’re the one treating me like a sex partner.”

“What?”

Tae Seong-je’s expression distorted grimly and then gradually hardened. At the same time, I felt it too. What a ridiculous situation. I was hurt by my own words. It was all because of the alcohol. I thought I was completely sober, but it seemed like I still had some intoxication left.

Tae Seong-je rubbed his face, unable to say anything, whether he was reflecting on his own actions or not. My words weren’t meant as criticism, nor had I said them with any intention of provoking him, but the atmosphere had suddenly become strange. I feared he might think I was being arrogant, so I couldn’t help but reveal my awkwardness and quickly left my seat.

I was hurt once more when I realized he didn’t deny it. Well, since we hadn’t been talking to each other much, we had spent more time in each other’s bodies than talking. Except when we were too busy or rushed, we always ended up entwined.

Sometimes, we didn’t even exchange greetings before getting straight to it. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, but since our time together was so short, I had sometimes felt a bit upset about it. My nose stung, and my throat tightened, but I forced myself to drink water from the bottle.

I saw him sitting on the bed, still rubbing his face. This room had excellent soundproofing. The refrigerator, the air conditioner, everything ran so quietly that it made the room feel even more eerie. It was difficult to endure this atmosphere, so I tried to brighten my voice and approached him.

“I was just joking. It was really a joke… ”

“…”

“I didn’t want to fight, so I was just joking… You’re not mad, are you?”

Tae Seong-je lowered his hands from rubbing his face and looked at me wordlessly. His expression was blank, and I nervously swallowed my saliva. He soon raised the corners of his mouth, pretending to smile.

“I’m not mad at you.”

However, I knew he was lying because his eyes weren’t smiling despite his kind words. But I was afraid to point that out, so I just replied, asking if it was really like that. I sat down next to him, exhaling carefully as I thought I was breathing loudly.

We sat facing each other without saying a word. Our breaths cautiously touched and quickly dispersed. Tae Seong-je gazed deeply into my eyes. It was a mood that suggested we should kiss. I got the feeling. This was an invitation.

“I’m not in that mood right now.”

As I approached slowly, our faces were about to meet when his hand suddenly grabbed my face. I  could see the grim-looking Tae Seong-je between his fingers. I see. It wasn’t. I slowly backed away, out of his grasp. As I retreated, Tae Seong-je gathered his hands together, as if he were a repentant nun.

I felt embarrassed and changed the subject unnecessarily.

“Hyung, will you answer anything if I ask?”

“It depends on the question.”

Uh. What… So, some questions are allowed, and some aren’t? If I delve into this, it’s going to be a headache. Maybe it was better not to know about these choices at all.

“Then, I just won’t ask anything.”

“Why the hell not?”

Tae Seong-je suddenly snapped and clenched his teeth, but then, surprisingly, he slowly released his lips.

“Why.”

“… Why are you asking ‘why’ again?”

“Enough, just answer.”

Hearing his commanding tone, I quickly lowered my tail and adjusted my posture. But Tae Seong-je did something strange again.

“…Alright, so what’s the reason?”

I scratched my forearms impatiently at his creepily friendly tone. I don’t understand this man. Why does he keep repeating the same question, it’s kind of creepy.

“I don’t really have a reason.”

“…Wait, just one moment.”

“Uh. Sure, go ahead.”

I waited quietly for him to return. But where’s my phone? I keep losing it because I don’t have many people to contact. But I’m pretty sure I left it on the table before going to bed.

“I need to contact the guys again.”

I should also check in with Woo Ji-min. He’ll likely be stressed out because Kang Moo-hyun will be visiting your part-time job throughout the vacation. Giving up on finding my phone, I saw Tae Seong-je beyond the balcony, smoking a cigarette. At that moment, he turned his head to find me.

I wanted to wave my hand like a child on a merry-go-round playing a prank on their parents. But I realized it wasn’t the right mood and just smiled.

A little while later, he came back into the room from the balcony. He seemed more composed than before, which was a relief.

“Fuck, I really can’t do this.”

He cursed loudly as he tossed an empty cigarette pack into the trash bin. That temper of his… Instead of retorting, I just looked at him with a pitiful expression. He turned his head sharply to glare at me.

“I have one more question to ask.”

“Yes? Yes, go ahead.”

“If that’s what you were thinking, why didn’t you say anything?”

I quickly nodded my head because Tae Seong-je seemed genuinely anxious and uneasy. However, just like before, answering the same question seemed to drain the strength from my body.

“Didn’t I already answer that?”

“That was about whether you had any questions about me. What I’m asking now is why you let it slide when you felt like you were treated badly, like a… sex partner? Is this the same as earlier?”

“Oh, no. It’s different. But, Hyung, I think I misspoke earlier. I’m sorry.”

As I waved my hand and apologized, Tae Seong-je seemed to calm down a bit and calmed his rough breathing. I laughed lightly to lighten the mood.

“Why would we be sex friends? We’re in a relationship.”

“Haa… ”

“And for a relationship like that, Hyung, you really adore me.”

“That’s something a mistress would say!”

He had completely lost his composure and touched his forehead as if he was going crazy.

“You did it on purpose.”

“On purpose? What do you mean?”

“Are you protesting because you don’t want to talk to me?”

“No? I’m not.”

“Or maybe you’re deliberately avoiding talking to me because I’m being annoying?”