DI Ch 101

My fingers jerked in surprise just by touching it, but the curiosity that surfaced couldn’t be ignored. I felt the earlobe as I explored more, and my fingertips eventually came into contact with something hard. It was a piercing.

“Come here.”

Suddenly, I heard Tae Seong-je’s voice and grabbed the man’s ears in surprise. Then he made a faint ‘ugh’ sound.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Shall we hold hands instead of ears?”

I relaxed as his calming and affectionate voice approached, followed by the warmth of his palm covering mine. I was relieved when the outside wind washed away some of the stench of blood. However, my stomach still felt nauseous.

“What’s the matter? Are you dizzy?”

“Now… ”

I shook my head and trailed off with my words as the dizziness that had been so intense that I couldn’t feel the ground was going to fade. He kissed my fingertips as I exhaled.

“Seung-won.”

Perhaps because he lowered his head slightly and frowned, I felt like he was sticking his head out to check how I was feeling.

“Can’t you see now?”

“…”

I closed my mouth tightly as I felt a hand brushing my bangs back. I would have been able to say yes if I had seen anything like usual. But now I can only see the outline of someone… I had an odd feeling as I traced the man’s facial features. Despite the fact that it was an illusion with no reality, what my palm eventually touched was Tae Seong-je’s face.

“Is it hyung’s face?”

“… Yeah, it’s hyung.”

He calmly responded to my self-talk, but my attention was captured by the man in front of me. I slowly touched his forehead, then his nose and lips, moving on to his cheeks and chin. It was exactly the same. This suddenly visible face and Tae Seong-je’s features that can be touched with my fingertips…

“Why do I see this…”

“Which one?”

I quickly closed my lips which tasted like blood. I must look like a lunatic.

“…Hyung. I want to rinse my mouth.”

I changed the topic blatantly in front of a person with a high level of insight. After a moment of silence, the narrow opening of a small water bottle touched my lips. I took a sip of cool water, gargled, and spat it out on the floor. The bitter taste filling my tongue and mouth seemed to alleviate a bit.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I feel fine now.”

I stood up, wanting to get some fresh air. Leaning on his forearm like a cane, I moved forward. In the process, as my vision slowly returned, the trembling subsided. I closed my eyes tightly as my body gradually recovered. I took a deep breath and exhaled as much as possible.

My breathing stopped as soon as I stopped walking. It was because of the fear and anxiety that came later. He said he was hurt. The man who had never told me he was hurt before… But his voice sounded as usual.

I hoped it was just a joke as I cautiously opened my eyes and focused on his face. The sunlight streaming in from the window made his face glow with tenderness, and his gaze down at me looked perfectly fine. I thought he was trying to pretend it was okay,  so I examined him closely, searching for any signs of injury.

“You’re not hurt.”

He closed his mouth as I said dumbly. Even after searching for the hundredth time, I couldn’t find a single scratch.

“…Yeah.”

“…There’s something else to joke about!”

I threw the bag that I had been hugging while standing next to him. The backpack hit Tae Seong-je’s abdomen precisely.

“Ugh.”

“I was so surprised, and you played such a prank…”

Even though I desperately hoped it was a joke, I couldn’t help but feel so angry. The blood vessels on my forehead seemed to be swelling. Every second felt like an hour, and the entire situation was terrifying and awful, but fuck, are you kidding me? I clenched my hands, which were shaking even more than before, and then punched him as hard as I could. I couldn’t get rid of my anger.

“You crazy bastard. You knew I’d be worried, and you played such a damn prank!”

“I know. I know, but I forgot. I got carried away too. I’m sorry. Did I scare you a lot?”

“You call that an apology? What the hell did you do… what is this?”

Unlike the chest I hit with all my might, the feel of his abdomen felt strange, so I hurriedly felt it and found that it was tightly bandaged, so I quickly unbuttoned his shirt. Tae Seong-je was troubled and tried to stop him, but he firmly shook off his hand, wondering where he got that strength. As he kept saying sorry and trying to run away, I roughly knocked him down on the sofa and even unbuttoned him. Then, a white bandage that was not visible under the dress shirt caught my eye.

“What is this? Hyung, are you really hurt?”

“…Just a bit. It just grazed me.”

Grazed? By what? It reminded me of the men who died from stabbings in gangster movies. Even without looking in the mirror, I could feel my face becoming pale. My hands and feet became cold again, and my head also felt dizzy. As I curled up on my back and started to gag, he gently rubbed the back of my head as if to calm me down and looked at me.

“It’s really nothing. I’m fine.”

“Lies… Then why is the bandage wrapped like you’ve sewn it thirty times? It’s not a graze; it’s a stab wound, isn’t it?”

“…”

Tae Seong-je seemed flustered and comforted me by wiping my eyes with his thumb. Despite the fact that I felt like crying, I didn’t, and he continued to caress my face. I was shaken when I thought how far we had drifted away over this time and how he had been hurt.

“This isn’t right.”

When I anxiously asked what was it, he covered his face in a very embarrassed manner and mumbled something. I thought Tae Seong-je was worried about me, so I knelt under the sofa and sniffled in pain. I pulled the hand that had been stroking my head and buried my face in his rough hand.

“I’m sorry. Cough, are you in a lot of pain?”

A tiny drop of blood marred his white shirt when my throat itched and I coughed. Amidst the chaos, I found it beautiful. When did he buy this? I wished he had worn something like this sooner.

He looked embarrassed, rubbed the back of his neck, and then did something unexpected. He made me sit on his abdomen. Fearing that the stitched incision would rupture I gripped his forearm tightly and tightened my lower body.

“H-hyung. Please let go. What do I do if the stitches open?”

“Ah. The are no stitches. Really. Sorry. I did it wrong. It really just grazed me a little. It was nothing, but I overdid it and bandaged it. It was just a prank.”

I could see the back of his neck burning red through my tears-blurred vision.

“To think you’d worry as if I got hurt like a child. Damn it, I was just trying to surprise you…”

“…Would you like to see me die once while you’re joking, hyung?”

I gritted my teeth and grabbed his collar, which was totally undone. He continued to apologize while looking at my complexion.

“I told you not to stress out.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this stressed in my life.”

A massive wave swept over my chest, which had been quiet for a long time.  I didn’t even have the strength to raise my head, so I lowered myself and wiped away the cold sweat.

“What’s wrong?”

He gestured with his eyes without saying anything. Annoyed, I sighed and followed his gaze. Suddenly, it felt like we were somewhere familiar. The first thing that caught my eye was the sunlight. The living room window was exceptionally large, allowing bright sunlight to flood in. The sunlight that could be reached just by taking a few steps from the sofa seemed very warm.

I also liked the high, fortress-like wall beyond the window and the bamboo that made the cold wall look nice. The garden was also quite extensive. I wondered if there were gold and silver treasures hidden underneath. I stuck my head out to see how far it went. It wasn’t even a flower path, but I couldn’t see the end.

“Is this your house, hyung?”

“No. It’s our house.”

Was it so hard to understand what he was saying? Or was it because the shocks came one after another that I couldn’t come to my senses?  While I was lost in my thoughts, he gently cupped my cheeks with both hands and pulled me closer, our foreheads lightly touching.

“I actually wanted to show you yesterday… but I thought daytime would be better than night.”

The intense gaze that came closer was hot and persistent. The shadow under his eyebrows made his eyes seem even deeper. They were so dark that I couldn’t tell what was in them, and his sincerity seemed genuine. I pressed my lips together, embarrassed that my pounding chest refused to calm down and that my breathing sounded ragged.

“I was going to show you our house and have lunch with you today. I didn’t expect you couldn’t wait and went out for lunch with a friend.”

As he used his face as a weapon, sharp words came out in circles.

“…You should have told me in advance.”

“I should have done that. Instead, I tried to make things more pleasant for you, but it ended up causing more trouble. How do you feel now?”

Tae Seong-je held my hand and kissed my palm.

“It’s okay…”

While I muttered that it didn’t hurt at all, the eyelashes that covered his lowered gaze caught my eye, and my hand moved on its own. As I caressed the area around his eyes and cheeks, he grabbed my remaining hand as well. Tae Seong-je pinned me against the sofa.

“It took a bit of time because there was nothing I liked.”

“…Living together came quickly compared to the time we’ve known each other.”

He laughed with dimples at my words. If there was a man who was the happiest in the world, it seemed like he existed right before my eyes.

“Say you like it. You said you’d live with me with your own mouth.”

“I like it. Okay.”

He sighed as if exhaling a long breath.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I knew it would be better in terms of security and compared to a studio apartment, but right now, I just liked it, liked it so much that I smiled without even thinking about it. His eyes curved as if saying he was glad I said that, and my heart thumped. My heart, which had fallen to the ground, was back in place and moving as happily as it ever had.

“Why are you smiling? You look good.”

I began buttoning up his chest while repeating the things he had said at some time. Tae Seong-je made a subtle expression and suppressed a smile as I traced down from his chest and followed the buttons.