DI Ch 119

“Whether it be through writing, people, or changing times. Values ​​may change… Sometimes we re-judge and define situations that have already ended. A year may pass, or perhaps ten years may pass by, and there may come a day when you think about today again. …So, if rationalizing that moment as not frightening and bearable because you love me was your way of coping, I worry that the realization might come later.”

I opened my mouth, but it ended with a blank ‘uh…’ He was right. I thought it was okay since I truly loved him. It really hurt, but I thought since I was the one who made the mistake first, I should just endure it.

Suddenly I wasn’t sure if I was okay. I shrugged my shoulders, letting my head hang low. When faced with a topic I had never thought of, I started to get confused.

“You may really be fine like you said, but… ”

“Ah… Hyung, I think I know what you’re worried about now.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Well, I’ll think more about whether I’m really okay.”

I loosened his hand, which was holding onto my wrist firmly. I lightly opened my wrists, but they were held so tightly that both hands tingled. This will leave handprints. How else can I cover this? I was grumbling inside, but I couldn’t hide my dissatisfaction, so I grumbled out loud.

“Hyung, I think you worry too much.”

“It’s because of you.”

He let out a long sigh. As I looked at him, he suddenly glared at me with both affection and hostility. What’s with that expression of someone who has done me wrong?

“There are limits to being insensitive.”

“Uh, it’s not that. There’s probably no one else in the world as worrisome as you.”

I jumped up quickly after remembering his subordinates who were waiting outside. I was only able to walk out and see him leave after pushing and pressing him to get ready quickly. Just as he was ready to leave, he turned around and firmly pressed his lips against my smooth cheek.

“Contact me.”

“If you’re hurt anywhere, contact me immediately. Oh, let’s get another checkup tonight.”

“Uh…”

It was uncomfortable to know that there were people living within the radius of one’s life, especially under the feet of the house one lived in. That too several people were confined for the sake of one person. It made me more cautious, but it was still dreadful. I couldn’t ignore the opinion of someone who wanted to go crazy for fear of me dying.

“Yeah. I will. But hyung.”

“Why.”

“I have something to tell you. Are you going out somewhere at night?”

“Okay. I won’t go anywhere.”

“Then let’s have dinner, get me a check-up, and just talk with me. I have something to say.”

“…”

He suddenly fell silent, then slowly spoke and asked again.

“That one from earlier?”

“No. I haven’t even thought about that yet.”

“Then which one?”

“Just, you know.”

“… I won’t break up with you. The chance I gave you before was the last one.”

What was he saying all of a sudden? I was standing there in confusion, but half a beat later, I sensed his anxiety.

“Oh, it’s not about that. I just have something to say, but it’s a bit long, so I’ll tell you later.”

I decided to accept that being honest about my hidden situation would make everything easier. Even if I was treated like a crazy person. But he already thought I was half crazy, so another crazy statement wouldn’t make much difference.

I should lighten up a little. It would be great if he believed me. I brushed off the dust from his collar and opened the door to see him off. I could only hope that everything goes well.

That was really all, but the expression on his face didn’t look that good.

“Why again?”

“…”

I took a step back in surprise when I felt his hand silently push my chest. The front door that I had opened was closed again, and I wondered if he had left something behind. Just as I was staring blankly, his hand suddenly grabbed my chin, and pressed our lips together.

I never expected him to kiss me again. I made an awkward noise before my lower lip was gently sucked. Startled but not disliking it, I naturally opened my mouth wider and wrapped my arms around his shoulders… Oh, wait,  why was this taking so long? We would see each other in just a few hours. The farewell kiss was more intense than I expected, and it left me feeling flustered.

“Eup, uhm? Hmm…”

As our lips tangled together and our bodies touched and rubbed against each other, a thrilling sense of pleasure began to envelop my entire body. I felt like I was about to fall backward as my waist tilted more and more, so I quickly tightened my arms around his neck.

The tips of my ears felt hot from the embarrassing sound tickling my ears. It wasn’t just light pecks; the deep kisses were unmistakably intense. Despite quickly catching my breath during the brief separation of our lips, the dizzying sensation returned as they pressed together again.

My knees, which were already sore, were shaking as he bit and sucked my tongue so pleasantly that it made my mouth tingle. When he finally pulled away this time, I was left breathless and trying to regain my composure.

“Am I the best?”

“… Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, of course.”

“I know.”

“…”

… When I gave him a puzzled look, he pressed his lips against my cheek once again.

“I’ll make you feel that way.”

“My hyung is already the best to me, What more do you want?”

“Being liked isn’t the same as being a priority.”

Concerns were pouring in. Was this all because of me? It was fascinating and pitiful to see how a person could change.

“For me, hyung is the top priority now. Stop worrying and leave. How long are you going to delay?”

His fingertips brushed my eyebrows. I thought he had more to say, but he remained silent for a while. Eventually, he spoke.

“Is that true?”

So this was it. Well, considering I had already lost his trust, he might not believe my words. However, shouldn’t he be able to trust me now? He knows what I like better than anybody else.

“Yes. You’re the only one for me. You’re more important than anything else. Are we done now?”

“No.”

“…”

“No, I’m not sure.”

Tae Seong-je said one last word and left. His voice lingered in my ears, leaving a strange sensation.

***

What I realized when I got to school was that I might have to give up on my second-semester grades. I glanced at the notes I’d meticulously taken, then closed my notebook, feeling as if I was watching a worm move over the pages. I might end up falling asleep during the exam if this continues. Although I felt the effectiveness dwindling, the warm classroom made me feel drowsy.

I wiped the cold sweat off my forehead while looking out the window. Now in the afternoon, the morning medication had worn off, and the pain in my body felt more clear.  Still, this wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t a growing pain, it was a sore sensation as if my legs had been crushed somehow.

It was fine at first. This level was no different from normal muscle pain. However, I felt like it was getting heavier and heavier, and suddenly the pain that felt like my bones were being crushed made it impossible for me to get up.  I was afraid my legs would break, and even after class was over, I couldn’t stand.

I eventually got the key because I needed to close the classroom door, but my legs were too weak to go up. I had no choice but to contact Woo Ji-min. He should be in the library at this time and would come if there were no urgent matters. I thought it wouldn’t work while waiting, so I took some medicine for the afternoon even though it was before I had lunch. 

“I should contact Hyung…”

I muttered while pressing my thigh where it felt like the blood was not flowing. I think it will get better in a little while. Besides, there were afternoon classes, and I couldn’t afford to take an absence when attendance and assignments were essential.

“I’m here.”

It was Woo Ji-min. He arrived at just the right time.

“What. What’s wrong with your lips? Did you hit on something?”

“Oh, no.”

I quickly covered my mouth. Did it swell a lot? We did kiss passionately earlier, and it was quite intense. Did it show? Hiding my embarrassment, I quickly changed the subject. Although it was my original intention as well.

“Sunbae, I can’t get up because my leg hurts.”

“Why does your leg hurt?”

He frowned in surprise and motioned for me to turn and sit next to him.  I took the all-in-one desk and chair and carefully turned around. The floor must have been dirty, but Woo Ji-min knelt down and started pressing my legs thoroughly.

“Where exactly does it hurt? Have you ever been like this before?”

“I’ve occasionally felt pain, but never suddenly like this.”

I wasn’t feeling particularly bad right now, but I was a little scared. Despite our attempts to massage it for about 10 minutes, the discomfort worsened, and cold sweat continued to flow.

“Do you want to go to the hospital?”

“No. I have to submit a report today, and I can’t miss class because of the final exams.”

It was difficult because I knew no one. I thought it would be okay if I spoke to the professor, but I just wanted to attend class unless absolutely necessary.

“What time.”

“2 o’clock.”

“Then, until then, go to the health room and lie down for a while. If it gets worse, just rest. I’ll go for you.”

“Um, won’t it be noticeable?”

We didn’t share many similarities for him to help with substitute attendance. My voice is lower, I’m taller, and my physique is better. Realizing the unavoidable fact, he quickly changed the topic.

“Then I’ll be honest and tell them you have a class to attend. Don’t think about that right now; just get up.”

I leaned on Woo Ji-min’s shoulder and got up from my seat. However, even though I was able to walk, I couldn’t move forward without limping and staggering almost every two steps. It felt almost like I was hanging onto his shoulder and being dragged along. People passing by in the corridor couldn’t avoid the awkward sight.