DI Ch 133

Perhaps it was an intentional prank, but there was a hint of amusement in his shadowed face. There was something reassuring about seeing him pressing his lips to my head. I think I was a little shocked by the strange look in his eyes that I saw briefly in the car. But perhaps I was more affected by it. Like a koala hanging onto a tree, I wrapped my arms and legs around his body and made a groaning sound.

Should I tell you something really funny? Let me tell you everything. Just a few hours ago, I said I wasn’t Seo Seung-won, but I think I am. And it seems like the kid who I said wasn’t my younger sibling is actually my sister. Maybe.

Even when I heard it, it sounded like something a scoundrel would say. There were more secrets. One by one, my legs became heavy as the secrets piled up. I was also upset. As soon as Sand came, I grabbed his small head and kneaded it like rice cake.

“Hyung, where am I hurting?

The puppy who was enjoying the massage while wagging his tail vigorously opens its snout. When I pick up a toy that has fallen and quickly throw it into the living room, it chases after the toy with bright eyes. I guess it had a good time playing like this in its original place. Seeing him wobble a little, it seemed like the floor was slippery. What should I put on the floor?

“What did the doctors say?”

“They all say different things.”

“For example?”

“At first, it was dissociation, then schizophrenia.”

At first, they said I had severe somatic symptom disorder. Then, they said things were different again, they said I showed symptoms of PTSD, and after that a sign of depression, and then a bipolar disorder. When I counted with my fingers as I listened, ten fingers quickly folded.

“You’re amazing too, hyung. If I were you, I don’t think I would have dated me because I was scared.”

I got up from my seat and watched the little furry puppy’s tail.

“Let’s eat and get another check-up.”

Ugh.

“I got it yesterday.”

“Just in case. And let’s go to the hospital tomorrow to check on your condition.”

I almost sighed in front of him. Even if I ran 100 meters with sand right now, it would be fine. He seemed to know that, but what mattered wasn’t that, so there was no way I would refuse.

“Look at him. He’s playing well by himself.”

Sand played with the toy so much that the string on the toy came loose before even a day had passed. Its strength seemed really good. Its paw got caught in the loose string. Either Sand was startled or it was just playing around, Its front and back legs moved separately. Curious, I focused on its mouth, trying to take the string out.

I pushed him hard, made him take a step back, and forced him to sit down on the chair. I stood with one knee between his legs and touched our foreheads together. Both he and I were used to acting as if nothing had happened. Pretending as if they had an ordinary day where nothing happened. So, I was a little confused and wanted to check whether his promise to join my plan was just my imagination.

“Can I ask how you plan to help Ji-min sunbae?”

He reached out to hug my waist but stopped.

“I have a few things in mind.”

He does? Already? With my arm propped on his shoulder, I leaned in and stared straight into Tae Seong-je’s eyes. It might be an idea that came up in just one day, but I was excited. However, he avoids my gaze.

“I think there’s only one thing you like.”

“What is it? Why?”

As I snooped around out of curiosity, he got up. He kissed my cheek and walked away.

“I’ll let you know after we go to the hospital tomorrow. Let’s eat first. …I said let’s eat, where are you going?”

I didn’t mean to show that I could avoid the situation, but it occurred to me that my cell phone battery must have been somewhat charged enough by now.

“Wait. I’ll just send that one text.”

I bent down as soon as I grabbed my phone when I heard the step of Sand chasing me. When I hold out my hand, its paw feels soft against my palm. As I turned it on and waited for the screen to come up, I suddenly realized that the bed seemed small compared to the room. It was definitely big compared to the bed in my old apartment, but it was still queen-sized. It seemed slightly altered since it was longer vertically, but why would he buy a bed this size when there must be larger ones available and he’s not short of money?

“Seo Seung-won.”

“I’m coming!”

Putting aside my late doubts, I sent a message to Seo Seung-joon.

1 [19:23] I’ll come back this weekend. I have something to discuss with you.

1 [19:23] Tell our parents.

---

I was so tired of going to the hospital as soon as I opened my eyes in the morning last year, but I never thought I would do it again now.

“Sand must be lonely by itself.”

As I muttered while staring at the white hospital ceiling, Tae Seong-je chuckled softly.

“As soon as Sand woke up, it knocked over flower pots and played alone.”

“It’s fortunate no one got hurt. Why do you think it tipped over? Was Sand playing around too much? Maybe because it’s still young.”

“What’s young? That little one is all grown up.”

“What’s grown up about that little fur?”

I never thought the day would come when I would sit in the hospital waiting room and chat with Tae Seong-je, but thanks to that, I was glad that the wait wasn’t too long. His promise to tell me how he’d help lingered in my mind. The end of final exams meant the start of winter break, and it was not long until Hyunseong Group’s intern recruitment period opened. I was wondering when that messed up part 2 would happen, but it’s already just around the corner.

I leaned my head on his shoulder as I observed the nurses calling names and people passing by slowly.

“I feel strange.”

“Do you feel sick again? Do you think you’re going to throw up?”

“No. Just… just a little.”

I was in the hospital for two hours, but it was unnecessary and only a waste of time. Even if I met Seo Seung-joon and heard what he said, I didn’t think I would be thrilled. Even if he knew the truth that I didn’t know, the pain would still remain and this life would repeat itself.

Why do I have to be the only one in pain? Why me? When I mentioned going to school despite feeling down, he seemed to be concerned and asked if I could take the day off today, but I declined. That didn’t change anything. I just wanted to maintain my daily routine.

“Come here.”

I was unbuckling my belt to leave, but he cupped my cheek and pulled me towards him. Just as our gazes continued quietly, our lips also touched softly. Each farewell kiss felt tender. It’s not that I disliked it, but I wondered when I would get used to it and my pounding heart would become less embarrassing.

After sending him off, I walked around the school as if taking a walk. I couldn’t tell if they were my classmates, but I recognized a few familiar faces. Despite the crowd, there was no one to greet, so I just passed by. It wasn’t so bad. Walking without disturbance was a good thing.

As soon as the lecture ended, I went straight to the convenience store. After buying dog treats, I went to the library and there was another student who came first. On the one hand, I wanted to keep avoiding Kang Moo-hyun because I had something against him, but at the same time, I didn’t want to.

“Sunbae,” when I called him, Woo Ji-min, who was squatting, turned his head with a pleased expression. His eyes immediately focused on my knee.

“Oh, hey. Is your leg okay now?”

“Maybe?”

“What do you mean, maybe?”

As he stood up, he chuckled wryly and lightly tapped my shoulder.

“There aren’t any major issues, right?”

“No.”

“That’s a relief.”

His face brightened noticeably. That smile made him look younger.

“Subae, you seem like a high school student.”

“Hey. How old am I, still saying I’m like a high school student.”

Woo Ji-min burst out laughing as if it were absurd, but then suddenly turned with a straight face.

“… Is it because of my hair? Do I look like a kid? It’s not good.”

“Why?”

“I need to take a new ID photo. I’m going to attach it to my resume.”

“…”

“There’s a hair salon next to the photo studio. Shall I go get a haircut and take pictures? Since you don’t have anything to do, want to come with me? Your hair has grown quite a bit too, why not trim it?”

I narrowed my eyes as I looked at Woo Ji-min, who was leading with light steps. Advising him to lower his sights for the future and look for job opportunities in small and medium-sized companies, or even suggesting applying to other companies that are rivals to Hyunseong Group, might seem like excessive meddling.

“Sunbae. Where are you going to put your resume?”

“Well? Anywhere that’s offering internships?”

“…Not just focusing on Hyunseong?”

“What? Hey. Even if my qualifications were great enough, it’s not a good idea to target just one large company. Did I study abroad or something, do you think I have any support?”

I thought Woo Ji-min would only include Hyunseong, but it seems not. I realized I underestimated the actual job hunting process.

“But I still want to give it a shot, so I’ll submit it anyway.”

“…”

In fact, if I were to be honest and say that Hyunseong Group is Kang Moo-hyun’s company, what would be his reaction? Self-doubt? Or maybe, nothing? I’m not sure.

“Welcome!”

It wasn’t lunchtime yet, and the school salon was surprisingly empty. Woo Ji-min was able to make a decent head by expressing his thoughts bluntly but clearly to the smiling boss. Although he still looked more like a celebrity than an office worker, the photo seemed to come out neat and tidy.

“What should I do about this? The customer also has a very handsome face, so I think he’ll look pretty no matter what he does.”

Now that I think about it, I didn’t really have any intention of getting haircut, but I followed along on a whim. I was just going to say I wouldn’t do it, but for some reason, I looked younger in the mirror today.

“I want to look five or six years older. Is it possible?”

“Um… well…”

“What’s up?”

The owner, who had been smiling, and Woo Ji-min, who had been examining himself in the mirror, looked puzzled.

“Then do you want to wear some bangs? Let’s see, let’s see. How long will you cut it?”

“Just straight across?”

“Straight? Really? Isn’t your hair too precious for that?”

Woo Ji-min came next to the boss and shook his head.

“Let’s trim only half of the bangs. Just half. And leave the length as it is, just tidy up the messy parts in the back.”

“Just tidy up the sides? Like this?”

… What about my opinion?