DI Ch 140

IIn the end, I’m the only one who will suffer. So I shouldn’t dwell on it. No matter how many times I remind myself, the absurdity made it difficult to simply accept. I never even considered that they could have written that. So, even after hearing it, I couldn’t believe it, and it wasn’t easy to understand either; it made me furious.

What kind of high schooler writes about doing this and that on a bed? Are they insane? Thinking positively, it may be healthier to act crazy indoors rather than cause trouble outside. But still, it seems insane.

How could he use his own brother like that? Feeling a sense of betrayal and disgust, I hugged myself as if hiding my body. I still thought we had a pretty good relationship. Then I suddenly recalled Gu Min-joo, who could barely look me in the eye. What if she roped him into this?

Considering that possibility, the distance that had grown between us closed again. Not that it mattered either way. We’re each other’s only remaining family who remembers, so I don’t want things to get more awkward. I just wish they had excluded me from it.

Anyway, they both look perfectly normal… I’m starting to understand the saying that the younger they are, the scarier. At the same time, I also think it’s impressive. Suddenly, I wondered if those guys could be gods to Woo Ji-min. But could they also become objects of resentment? The lack of an answer leaves me feeling empty inside.

“Sleeping?”

I blinked as a hand brushed my temple. It tickles. I could feel the calloused fingertips through my hair. Soon my blurry vision focused, and beyond Tae Seong-je’s reflection in the dark window, I saw the underground parking garage. Where did we go?

“I thought you were sleeping.”

As I turned my head, the hand that had been brushing my eyebrows pushed my hair back. I remained still for a moment as if savoring that touch. It felt good. In the serene atmosphere, I forgot my nerves, and my voice came out softly.

“Who falls asleep with their eyes open?”

“You do it often.”

“…”

No, it was too much to say that when I just zone out sometimes… Instead of clutching his hand, I made a sullen expression, and he chuckled. My obvious discontent seemed amusing to him. 

I guess it was because of the soundproofing. His breathless laughter echoed in my ears. Even the sound of the sheets being crumpled or the sound of breath touching the skin.

Even his gaze made me ticklish, so I tried to pull my hand away, but his sudden grip made it impossible for me to move. He pulled my hand towards him and kissed the back of it.

The slightly rough yet gentle touch made my heart race frighteningly. I tried to calm myself by holding my breath for a moment, but it didn’t help much.

His disheveled hair covering his forehead, along with his eyes and eyelashes peeking through, especially made my heart flutter.

“I’m not the kind of person who falls apart without you.”

Ah, I know. I readily nodded at Tae Seong-je’s subdued confession. I  know he’s someone who recovers quickly even if hurt. That’s how resilient he is.

But then, suddenly, he showed annoyance with a wry smile.

“What do you know?”

“Ah, no. Um.”

“What do you know? Huh? What do you know?”

“Hyung, wait a minute.”

“You were so busy thinking about other things that you didn’t even have time to think about me. And yet you nod smugly like you know something?”

The good mood had disappeared, and I hurriedly tried to remove the hand covering my face. It took a while to escape from under his hand, but even then, the tightness of the seatbelt felt suffocating, making it hard to breathe.

Oh, it’s crazy.

As I tried to catch my breath and undo the seatbelt, a large hand suddenly blocked mine. The tension in the air made my hair stand on end. His hand slowly moved with a clicking sound… very slowly retreated. As he retreated in a squeezing motion, he smirked at my apprehensive look.

“If something like today happens again, I won’t let you go to school or anywhere else.”

“Ha, haha.”

I laughed awkwardly, then forced the words out.

“… You’re joking, right?”

“I don’t have time to joke.”

“…”

We stared at each other for a long pause before I finally swallowed dryly with a chuckle. Ah, he’s serious. I belatedly realized and my mouth fell open. Instead of brushing it off with a smile, I hastily climbed out of the car like trying to escape.

I looked around while holding the bag in my arms. It’s just an ordinary underground parking lot, nothing special. He grabbed my waist as I looked around and started leading me as I walked.

“I heard your little brother is here?”

Did Woo Ji-min tell him? There was no reason to deny it, so I nodded my head silently and leaned my cheek against his chest. Draping my arm over his side as he firmly pressed the elevator button, I let out a deep sigh.

“It’s difficult.”

“What. Your younger brother?”

His tone was scolding, yet the hand rubbing my waist was affectionate.

“What’s so difficult about it?”

“I’m wondering that myself.”

He’s family, yet I feel closer and more distant from him than ever before. It seemed that knowing the depths of the ocean but not understanding a person’s heart was true even for family.

Ding! When the elevator door opened with a light sound, an empty office came into view. The lights were off so it was hard to see clearly, but there were traces of human presence. Still, I couldn’t tell what kind of place it was. Even after entering, I remained just as confused. A company…is it a company?

“Have a drink. You haven’t had anything, have you?”

“Yes.”

As I glanced after him as he went somewhere, I saw something that looked like a refrigerator or a coffee machine through the gap in the door. A pantry?

Left alone, I looked around again out of boredom, determined to figure out what kind of place this was myself. Starting with the nearest desk, there were stacks of complex documents.

“Seems like some kind of company at least.”

While I was looking through the materials, I noticed hasty notes and scribbles depicting complicated feelings on the desk. <Mom, concussion, cerebral hemorrhage, surgery, risk of recurrence.> It was extremely personal information, so I quickly looked away.

At that time, an unexpectedly congratulatory wreath was hanging at the end of my gaze. I walked slowly towards the wreaths lined up on one side of the wall. Congratulations CEO… CEO Tae Seong-je?

“What’s this?”

I was really surprised and took a step closer. I grabbed the tacky pink ribbon string and rubbed it as if wiping off the writing, but the ink did not come off. I took a deep breath and quickly turned my back.

“… Hyung, Seong-je hyung!”

Startled by my urgent call, the door flung open before I could even grab the handle. Though I instinctively stepped back from his outstretched arms, I relaxed as he firmly cradled the back of my head, thoroughly checking my condition.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No, it’s not that, hyung, did you get out from there?”

“What?”

“When? Is it okay? Isn’t it too sudden? Oh, hyung, wait, let me see your fingers for a second.”

Of course, I remembered his fingers were fine, but I suddenly felt an eerie need to visually confirm again. Fumbling, I took his hand and carefully examined each finger…ah, thank goodness. They’re all there.

“Wow, fvck. That really startled me.”

My heart almost dropped when I thought he might lost one.

“…Don’t swear. And stop watching those movies.”

Saying that, he pushed my forehead back. Feeling dejected, I hesitated before decisively following him. Before I could even say anything, he handed me a cup brimming with orange juice. I emptied it in one gulp as he urged me to drink quickly.

“Don’t gangsters, uh, don’t they have to cut off a finger to get out of there?”

“What are you talking about?”

As Tae Seong-je was about to hand me a simple biscuit, he clicked his tongue, seemingly baffled by my words.

“Why would they cut off fingers? Those are useless.”

But…doesn’t that mean they can and do cut them off when needed? Anyway, I’m relieved they don’t. I nodded my head as I rubbed my goosebumped arms. But resolving that one curiosity unleashed the other questions I’d been holding back.

“Then you never get stabbed to death? Or, like, calling a woman to your room and stuff?”

“When on earth did you watch those movies?”

Among the many gangster movies that I watched right after finishing the college entrance exam, there was one that Park Kang-woo said he watched alone and was very impressed. The overwhelming voice shouting ‘Loyalty!’ suddenly came to mind.

“Last year?”

“Looks like they still make that kind of stuff. Did it sell well?”

“It was a hit that made over 10 million tickets.”

“Bullshit.”

He instantly cursed. I felt embarrassed as he criticized me, asking if there wasn’t anything better to shoot or watch. I had wondered if he might have enjoyed watching it too, but it seems not at all.

“Kids these days grow up watching that kind of crap.”

Well… aren’t those adult movies? If they watch them, there’s nothing they haven’t seen, but still. Rolling my eyes, I received his sharp side glance and reprimand.

“Stop watching that stuff. Isn’t there anything else to watch? Why do you keep watching only those kinds of things?”

“…”

His action of pulling out snacks and tossing down the juice bottle was rough. He was originally a person who was more rational and thorough in his actions than his words, but today he seemed emotional. No, he has been like this frequently lately. His irritation was quite noticeable. Knowing he had endured anger many times because of me, it was likely that stress had built up.

Grabbing his seemingly angry forearm discreetly, I quickly pressed my lips against his before retreating. I grabbed the person who had soon become quiet, snooped around to see if he was okay now, then took a step back and carefully exited the pantry room.

How do I resolve this?

I spun around in a chair, unsure whose seat it was. Would something a bit different help loosen things up? Something different… like…

“Hmm, hmm.”

Slowly stopping the spinning chair, I got up and went to find the restroom. Setting my bag on the dry sink, I searched for my school uniform. It would be embarrassing to get caught retrieving it from the dressing room, and hiding it elsewhere also seemed too easily discoverable, so I kept carrying it. Though I never expected to use it like this today.

“…”

But when I looked at myself in the mirror, my heart stopped beating because the costume didn’t look bad at all. The rationality I thought I had seemed to return. It wasn’t like this last year, but I guess I’ve grown taller in the meantime, so my collarbones are all visible.